Grandma bought A Leg
Of Lamb
Grandpa and Grandma have been married
for a very long time,about sixty years
For about forty of those years,they have
fought like cats and dogs.
Grandma had a hankering,she needed
to get to the shops.
She went to the supermarket,and
wandered down the aisles.
She is looking for the meat department
She has a cunning,devious plan.
Meanwhile at home Grandpa is
sitting in the kitchen,bitching
He has a scratch,that want stop
itching
Now this scratch is not the normal kind
It is a itch gnawing deep inside his mind.
He knows Grandma is up to something
but he doesn’t know what
Back at the supermarket,Grandma finally
finds what she is looking for
A nice big juicy leg of lamb,5kg or more
She jumps into a taxi,and starts to head
on home
She is thinking of her plan
How to finish off the old man
She gets home and heads to the kitchen
turns on the oven 180 degrees
puts in the leg of lamb,easy as you please
Meanwhile Grandpa goes about his business
His time on earth drawing to a close
He is thinking about tea time,wondering
what Grandma will prepare
Six hours later,Grandpa is snoozing
on the lounge
Grandma walks in,has a look around
The leg of lamb,at the ready
her hands are nice and steady
Well nick,nack,paddywack she swings
with all her might
Grandpa doesn’t know what hit him
his lights are out without a fight
Grandma sits and ponders her next
move
She knows if she eats the evidence,no
murder weapon will be found
The police are called,Grandma talks
about an intruder,while she eats a lamb
sandwich
Grandma is now residing in a old folks
home,I visit her now and then
I am getting kind of hungry,so I ask
Grandma Whats to eat?
She says”why a leg of lamb of course
It is my favourite treat”
