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Out in your backyard lives a little critter

He lives with his family,and sometimes

he has a baby sitter.

He lives out his life hopping from leaf to leaf

like a little green chomping machine.


The little green fella is bored.

All he ever does is eat leaf after leaf,blade

of grass after blade of grass

And every now and then he will stop and

drop a little poop,now there is a scoop.

His mother goes behind him,with a real

little pooper scooper.

Cleaning out their house and home.

They don’t have many possessions

Not even a mobile phone.

One day he is outside,doing his usual


Washing in a puddle,keeping himself

nice and clean.

Just then he hears the giant two legged

creatures who live next door in a giant


There are no other animals around not

even a mouse.

A noise has driven all the animals to seek


The giant two legged creatures,own a noisy

two wheeled machine,causing all sorts of

helter skelter.

Well the green little critter,has escaped his baby

sitter,he wants to go for a ride.

A ride on the machine that the two legged

creatures call a chopper.

Jesus H Christ what a freaking whopper.

Well the little green critter,who is called

Jimmy the grasshopper.

Wants to go for a ride on that freaking


He has noticed that the rider of the chopper

has a bubble like thing on his head,yknow

for protection.

Jimmy thinks that if things get too unsafe

he can do a quick ejection.

So Jimmy the grasshopper,goes to bed

early knowing that he has a big day ahead

But he cant get to sleep in his little green bed

He gets up early,he can hear the chopper a


His heart is racing,his pulse is soaring

Jimmy the grasshopper races outside,he is

about to hitch a ride.

He climbs to the top of a blade of grass,and

waits for the chopper to pass.

He takes to the air with a wriggle of his little


He hopes his timing is right,and that he hasn’t

taken off too quick.

You can feel the tension in the air

It is enough to make you sick

But Jimmy the grasshoppers timing isjust right

As he lands on the pillion seat he hangs on tight

But is greeted by a sight that takes his breath away

He sight before him is a mighty big butt crack.

Jimmy the grasshopper knows that if he falls into

that crevice he will never be seen again

What a way to go,death in the crack from hell

So Jimmy hangs on tight and tries to divert his

eyes,not only from the crack,but from all the bugs

that are hitting him in the face.

A bug getting hit by a bug,how ironic.

Jimmy is starting to get a bit scared,it is getting

to be too much to bear.

He thinks he just dropped something in his


Just then the chopper stops at a set of traffic

lights,Jimmy sees an opportunity to escape

this ride from hell.

Things didn’t turn out as Jimmy thought it would

The chopper was going much too fast

He wanted this ride to finish.

Jimmy knew that if he is to survive

he has to go back home and just be a

normal grasshopper.

A few weeks later Jimmy feels a few

things changing with his body,and he

knows what is about to happen.

He is no longer a grasshopper.

He has turned into a locust.

The weather is warm

Now is the time to swarm.