I have a friend I have known for a long time

We first met,way back,when I was about


He first introduced himself at a party,or

maybe it was the local park,i cant quite


Well he is the sort of friend you can only

take in small doses.

If he hangs around too long he can become

a bit of a nuisance

If he hangs around all weekend,he can become

your worst nightmare

My friend goes by many names,I call him

Mr Tooheys.

He comes in many shapes and forms,schooner,

stubbies,long neck,take your pick.

Just remember to take it easy,cause Mr Tooheys

can take control of you.

If you are going to a party and you know Mr Tooneys

will be there.

Just to be safe leave your car at home.

Just remember Mr Tooheys likes to hang around

He is always in your ear saying,come on just one


Mr Tooheys never knows when to go home

He never seems to know when you have had


He is the sort of friend,who is the life and soul

of the party.

If you let him,he will still be there when the sun

comes up

When I am at home and I go to the fridge,my

friend looks back at me urging me to take off

the cap,and have a little taste

But if I go to the fridge that one time

I could go that I time to many

When your brain doesn’t seem to work

You know when don’t know when to stop

When I was in my twenties Mr Tooheys and

I became really close.

Too close for comfort

I was really getting out of control

My family and friends were telling me to give

Mr Tooheys the flick

But I did not get it,to me it was all fun and games

But as I have gotten older,i have learnt to keep

Mr Tooheys at arms length

I just have a few on Fri&Sat nights

Cause I know that deep down,Mr Tooheys,is always

in the back of my mind

Telling me that it is time to go back to the fridge

To just have a few just a touch

But it could turn into a touch to much

Mr Tooheys

Can be your best friend

Mr Tooheys

He can become your worst enemy

Mr Tooheys

He can be your best mate

Mr Tooheys

Is a man I love to hate.