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~ Short stories about anything and everything

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Monthly Archives: December 2014

It’s Friday! So Why The Monday Face?

28 Sunday Dec 2014

Posted by stevenjohnno in Uncategorized

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Some people will never be happy

They would even boo Santa Claus

You are really getting into your

favourite movie,and they walk

in and hit pause.

It’s Monday and they wear a face

like they just swallowed a lemon

They bitch and moan about everything

under the sun.

Jesus Christ,Just be happy,smile,have

some fun.

Some people will never be happy.

They go to the circus,and throw rock’s

at the clown.

To get some attention,they go to the beach

and pretend to drown.

It’s Tuesday and they walk around like their

haemarhoid’s are really itchy.

They talk about people behind their back’s

Some people are just nasty and bitchy.

It’s Friday so why the Monday face?

We are all part of the human race

We could all feel bad,and walk around

with a frown.

Just do what they say,and turn that frown

upside down.

Some people will never be happy.

They whinge when it rain’s

They whinge when it get’s to hot.

They go on and on about the traffic.

And talk all day about their ill’s and pain’s

It is now Wednesday,hump day of the week

They complain that their favourite TV show

is no longer on.

I am trying to eat my lunch,I couldn’t care

less,just be gone.

Some people will never be happy

They go to a movie and complain that it is

not to their liking.

They complain that their car is getting fixed

The poor thing’s have to go push biking

It’s Thursday,the weekend is close

They moan that they live to far from the

coast and the beach.

It is a pity that their happy pill’s are just

out of reach.

Some people will never be happy

They whinge and moan about nothing

They just like to whinge and moan

The battery is flat on their mobile phone

The tyre’s are flat on their mobile home

The ice cream has melted in their ice cream

cone’s.

It’s Friday so why the Monday face?

We are all part of the human race

Just go ahead and put a smile on your face

Just zip it,dont move your lip’s.

Cause when you talk

You make the sunshine balk.

Saturday and Sunday,are the day’s when

you can just hang loose.

But you want to kill the golden goose.

Come on buddy,loosen up

Have a drink from the holy cup

No one like’s a whinger

Jesus you would think your hair was ginger

I am wasting my breath

People are who they are

You cant change them

Just accept them

Just turn off your ear’s haha

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I’m Clean,No Nicotine

23 Tuesday Dec 2014

Posted by stevenjohnno in Uncategorized

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I sit on my back porch,and draw the smoke

into my lung’s.

God,I love a cigarette,they make me feel good

they calm me down.

Another drag and I start to splutter an cough.

I have another drag,the cough will go away.

I finish my cigarette,stand up,and my head is

spinning.

I have a choice,my health,or cigarette’s,and I

think the cigarette’s are winning.

I have a doctor’s appointment for my annual

checkup.

The doc say’s hello,then start’s prodding and

poking.

I am really worried about this cough,my clothe’s

are soaking.

I knew my smoking wasn’t doing me any good.

Maybe the doctor’s report will be fine,touch wood.

The doctor get’s out his stethoscope,and put’s it on my

chest.

He moves to my back,and listen’s to my lung’s.

He shake’s his head,and by the look on his face,the new’s

isn’t good.

I also have swelling in my feet,through bad circulation.

Some day’s I can hardly stand up,i am getting worried

my body reek’s of desperation.

I have been smoking since my early teen’s,I was trying to

be cool,just trying to fit in.

Smoking on the back of the school bus,trying to be part

of the so called in crowd.

What was I thinking for crying out loud.

Enough of this looking to the past.

The doc is finally talking,at long last.

He told that his report isn’t that good.

He told me to give up smoking.

He said that my lung’s look like I have been

working in a coal mine.

And that my circulation is flowing like a dried

up creek.

If I want to see my grand childen grow up.

I have to give up smoking.

If I want to reach retirement

I have to give up smoking.

If I want more money in my wallet

I have to give up smoking.

I walk out of the doctor’s clinic,in a bit

of a daze.

That and cigarette smoke and haze.

I look down at my finger’s,and say’what

the hell am I doing?’

I throw the cigarette on the ground,and stamp

it out with my shoe.

I have to give these thing’s up,before my finger’s

and toe’s turn blue.

I arrive home thinking about way’s to quit.

And I start thinking about my friend cold turkey

who live’s inside my head,right next to will power.

They are the two friend’s I need most in this

desperate hour.

I will talk to them,right after I take a shower.

Cold turkey and will power agree to help me give

cigarette’s the flick.

Because cigarette’s can make you sick,very sick.

It has been a week now,and the craving’s have

gone from strong to weak.

Another week has come and gone,and I am feeling

mighty fine.

My cloth’s,no longer smell of smoke,they smell

fresh off the cloth’s line.

My lung’s are a little clearer,as they clean out the

tar.

I am feeling excellent,all is good so far.

My blood is flowing around my vein’s,like the

river Nile.

What is that on my face?It is a proud as punch

smile.

Six month’s later,i have finally done it,i am

totally smoke free.

Cold turkey and will power have really helped

me out.

Of that I am very grateful.

I have come to realise that giving up smoking is

all in the head.

I am glad I wrote this story,now I am going to bed.

But before I go,I have got something to say

Some thing that I really mean.

I’M CLEAN NO NOCOTINE.

This story is dedicated to my workmate Lee

Who is trying to give up smoking

Keep it up,never give in.

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Melvin The Christmas Elf

21 Sunday Dec 2014

Posted by stevenjohnno in Uncategorized

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https://stevenjohnstonblog.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=176&action=edit#Now that it is Christmas time,it is time for a Christmas

story.It all began……

Way up in the North Pole,where it can get kind of cold.

Live’s Santa and his wife,and all of his little helper’s

who love to tell Santa that he is looking old.

While Santa and Mrs Claus are in the back room making

some loving.

There are all sort’s of cup cake’s baking in the oven.

The little helper’s are all running around making a lot of noise

With tiny hammer’s,they make lot’s and lot’s of toyshttps://stevenjohnstonblog.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=176&action=edit#

Santa walk’s into the room,with a satisfied smile

After all he has just run a horizontal mile.

Mrs Claus is bow legged she can hardly walk

All she can do is talk and talk and talk.

All of the little helper’s help themselve’s to some

cup cake’s and milk.

They sit around on cushion’s made of satin and silk.

The boss little helper is an old man called Melvin the

Elf.

He is kind of lonely,he has been left on the shelf

Even with the price marked down,he still cant find

himself a wife.

He is tired of the long lonely night’s.

Melvin is the boss,and his leading hand is an elf called Billy

Bob,Billy Bob is cruel,he rule’s with an iron fist,Billy Bob is a

knob.

Melvin and Billy Bob are alway’s arguing about the schedule

and the overtime.

Billy Bob want’s to be top dog he know’s that if some thing happen’s

to Melvin,the top job is his,all his.

Melvin supervise’s as the little helper’s work at a frantic pace.

They have a deadline to beat,if they want to win the race.

Before they know it,Christmas eve is here

They have beat the dead line,and they give a hearty cheer.

While Santa celebrate’s with bowl of nut’s and beer.

Biily Bob has got the whip out and yell’s at the elve’s to

hurry up and load the sleigh.

The little helper’s hate to be pushed and goaded.

The sleigh is finally filled to the brim,and overflowing.

Santa look’s at his watch and say’s’We should get going’

Santa check’s the reindeer’s,Rudolph snort’s and his red

nose glows

Mrs Claus take’s a photo,while the group strike a pose.

With a wave to Mrs Claus,Santa gives a signal,and the

reindeer take to the sky.

With a final look behind him Santa waves goodbye.

With a built in radar,the reindeer head to the south.

While Billy Bob in the back seat is running off his mouth.

Melvin sit’s beside him,champing at the bit.

Because deep down he know’s that he is Santa’s favourite

Melvin doesn’t know it but Billy Bob is hatching up a plan

He better watch out,cause Billy Bob is a very bad man

I say man,but I really mean an elf.

Billy Bob doesn’t care about anybody but himself.

With a little smirk,Billy Bob give’s Melvin a little push.

And Melvin disappear’s over the side,with  little whoosh.

The sleigh is over Canada,at a place called Winnipeg

Melvin tumble’s to earth,lucky not to break a leg.

Melvin hit’s the ground with an almighty splatter

All the local wild life run like hell and scatter

Lucky for Melvin the ground is covered in snow,and he

doesn’t even get a bruise.

What Melvin doesn’t know is that he just made the front

page new’s.

A local girl,named Dora,is out taking photo’s,of the fauna

and flora.

She see’s a tiny little man appear from out of the sky.

She run’s over to Melvin,and say’s a shy little hi.

Melvin brush’s the snow from his clothes.

Was it love at first sight,no one really know’s.

But Melvin is smitten,seeing Dora in her snowsuit and

mitten’s.

Melvin standing upright only come’s up to Dora’s shoulder

But Melvin is staring at what is inside Dora’s over the

shoulder boulder holder.

With a little rush Melvin explain’s the situation.

He want’s Dora to help him,and she does with some

gentle persuasion.

Santa meanwhile is still heading in a southerly direction.

Then he turns around in his seat to ask Melvin a question

Seeing the empty seat beside’s Billy Bob,Santa say’s’where

is Melvin,What have you done Billy Bob?

Billy Bob just shrugged,and said’Melvin was drunk and fell out’

Santa know’s that this is a lie,because Melvin doesn’t drink.

Santa pause’s,and has a little think.

He has come to a decision,and he turn’s the reindeer around.

Billy Bob is seething and scream’s a silent sound.

Melvin and Dora have also had time to think.

They will build a new sleigh,made out of spare part’s,even

the kitchen sink.

Wheel’s from a stage coach,the body from a vintage car.

They need something solid to fly beyond the northern star.

Being a toy builder for many year’s,Melvin get’s to the task

with ease.

Melvin build’s a sleigh with blood,sweat and tears.

Santa is racing back to find the friend he is seeking

He just hopes that Melvin is wearing his sat nav beacon.

Lucky for him Melvin is wearing his sat nav.

They continue to build the sleigh with everything that

they have.

Thing’s are coming together,but what they need are some

reindeer,or maybe some horses.

But there are none to be found,of course.

Then Dora say’s’I know we can use some of my father’s cow’s’

They will get to the north pole by any means anyhow’s.

So they rustle up some cow’s,and tie them to the sleigh.

The cow’s don’t know to do,what to say.

One minute they are munching on some grass.

Next they have some contraption tied to their arse.

Melvin is ready to take off,but the cow’s don’t move

So Melvin,stand’s up and yell’s’Get ya finger’s out,you

frigging cow’s’

The cow’s just stand there dumbfounded,and drop some

patti’es on the earth.

They are about to go to the place of Melvin’s birth.

But before they get a moving,they here a HO,HO,HO.

Santa’s sleigh slowly comes into vision,what a sight for

sore eye’s.

Santa’s sleigh skid’s to a stop.an angel from the sky.

Melvin and Dora rush to Santa’s side with a smile.

Santa has saved the day,he has gone the extra mile

Billy Bob jumps from the sleigh all hateful and cruel.

But he has forgotten one golden rule.

You don’t get on santa’s bad side,cause he can hold a

grudge for life.

If you get on his bad side,you are in a whole lot of stife.

Billy Bob is banished,and told to sit down and shut up

Billy Bob’s life is about to go from bad to worse

He is tied to a tree,at the mercy of the animal’s

He will be nibbled at,by some very nasty mammals

After a quick feed and water,the reindeer are ready to

leave.

There are toys to be delivered,slow and steady if you please

The reindeer take off,and the deliveries are made all through

the night.

The kid’s all around the world will wake up to a beautiful sight

After sliding down countless chimney’s,and eating milk and

cookies.

Santa has called it a night.

After helping with the deliverie’s Melvin and Dora,like Santa

are ready to head on home.

They point the reindeer northward,they have many mile’s

to roam.

Early the next morning,Mrs Claus hears the sleigh skid to a

stop.

She let’s out a sigh of relief,and feel’s her heart dop.

After another successful year,full of Christmas cheer.

Mr and Mrs Claus finally put up their feet.

A lovlier couple you will never meet.

Melvin and Dor meanwhile have begun a whirlwind

romance.

There is plenty of hugging and kissing,but there is something

missing.And that is a wedding ring.

Six month’s later Melvin and Dora are married in  quiet civil

ceremony.

The honeymoon is a cruise around the Greek island’s.

Melvin is nervous,he hasn’t been with a woman in a while.

Dora look’s at her husband,and says’Leave it all to me.’

She is not called Dora the explorer for nothing.

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Bizz,Bizz,Bizz,Bizz

19 Friday Dec 2014

Posted by stevenjohnno in Uncategorized

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Bizz,Bizz,Bizz,Bizz

For God,s sake is it that time already?

My alarm clock is going off,it sound’s like

the Devil’s chainsaw.

I press the snooze button,and go back to

sleep,but nine minute’s later.

Bizz,Biz,Bizz,Bizz

That sound is messing with my head

Bizz,Bizz,Bizz,Bizz

Jesus,that sound is driving me insane.

It is Monday morning,the weekend went too

fast.

Monday morning blue,s,I cant find my shoe’s

I am getting dressed in the dark.

I have a little wee,and rub the sleep from my eye’s.

And I walk toward’s the kitchen.

Grue,Grue,Grue,Grue

My housemate is whipping up a concoction in the

blender.

Cacao powder,coconut oil,honey,chia seed’s,almond’s

avacado’s.

Grue,Grue,Grue,Grue

That sound remind’s me that it is the first day of the

working week.

Grue,Grue,Grue,Grue

The blender is going full bore,whipping up a bright green

smoothie.

Grue,Grue,Grue,Grue

I don’t know what it taste,s like,but the colour is kind

of cool.

O h well time to get into my car and drive to work

Beep,Beep,Beep,Beep

What’s that dickhead doing honking his horn

I am sure I have the right of way.

Beep,Beep,Beep,Beep

Oh shit,maybe not, I might have drifted into his lane

Beep,Beep,Beep,Beep

Ok,I get the message,now get off your horn,before I

stick it where the sun don’t shine.

I arrive at work,bleary eyed,feeling like a piece of crap

Get out of my car and do the long walk to the factory

Bluh,Bluh,Bluh,Bluh

That is the sound of the mundane

Bluh,Bluh,Bluh,Bluh

Every day is the freaking same

Bluh,Bluh,Bluh,Bluh

I am on the checking line

Bluh,Bluh,Bluh,Bluh

I am feeling anything but fine

2.30PM has come around,another work

day is over.

I get changed and make my way to my car

I open the car door,turn the key,and

Click,Click,Click,Click

Goddamnit a flat battery,that is just great

Click,Click,Click,Click

The engine wont turn over,i get on the phone and

call for road service.

They arrive really promptly,it only take’s them three

hour’s

My mood has gone from bad to worse,and I let out

a silent curse.

But I am finally driving home

Ring,Ring,Ring,Ring

Oh,that is my mobile phone,i cant reach it

Ring,Ring,Ring,Ring

I finally get the phone from the pocket,and put the

phone to my ear.

Whoop,Whoop,Whoop,Whoop

Oh hell the police are right behind me,waving me

over.

Whoop,Whoop,Whoop,Whoop

Okay Mr policeman,i heard you the first time

The cop is friendly enough as he hand’s me my fine

$400 for talking on the phone whilst driving

I finally get home,go inside,and sit down with with

a cool drink.

Knock,Knock,Knock,Knock

What now,i go to the door and two guy’s in suit’s are

tying to spread the word,i close the door.

Knock,Knock,Knock,Knock

What now,The kid from two door’s up want’s to go fishing,

I say not now,maybe tomorrow

Knock,Knock,Knock,Knock

Jesus,It is like Pitt Street,I don’t even answer the door.

Finally I can relax

Bang,Bang,Bang,Bang

The house next door is being renovated

Bang,Bang,Bang,Bang

Jesus,are they digging their way to China

Bang,Bang,Bang,Bang

Power saw’s,back hoe’s,jack hammer’s

is there a tool out there that they don’t own

9.30 It is time for bed,I lay down,close my eye’s

Woof,Woof,Woof,Woof

God that dog next door is barking up a team

Woof,,Woof,Woof,Woof

Midnight,and I am still awake.

Woof,Woof,Woof,Woof

God,no wonder that dog’s name is Cujo.

At around 3.00 I get a little sleep,then

Bizz,Bizz,Bizz,Bizz

Another day,what can I say?

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A Stranger’s Skin

18 Thursday Dec 2014

Posted by stevenjohnno in Uncategorized

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I know this might sound crazy,but I am currently

living in a stranger’s skin.

I don’t know myself anymore,I cast no shadow.

Am I still alive?

I used to be left footed,now I kick with my right

I used to be a bit of a wimp,now I can fight

My brain is thinking straight,it must belong to someone

else.

My vision is crystal clear,so why am I wearing glasses?

My favourite fruit is a banana,so why am I eating an apple?

Before I couldn’t win at anything,so why do I win when I

grapple.

I used to have long hair,so why is it now short?

I used to score goal’s at soccer,but now I am scoring nought

I used to be a good kid,so why is my hand in the cookie jar?

I used to be a teetotaller,so why am I sitting in a bar?

Stranger’s skin,it is kind of a tight fit.

Stranger’s skin,is there another size?

I used to have skin ink free,so why do I have a tattoo?

I don’t know who I am,I used to be me,now I am you

I used to like to wear hat’s,so why is my head bare?

I used to go freeballing,so why do I now wear underwear

I used to go for long walks,so why do I now just sit on the

lounge.

I used to have a good job,now all I do scrouge

My favourite TV show is Seinfeld,so why am I watching Ellen

I used to quiet and mellow,so why am I freaking yelling

I used to have a long nose,so why is it now a little slope?

I used to a optimist,now I have I hope

Stranger’s skin,It really is starting to itch

Stranger’s skin,life can be such a bitch

My favourite colour is blue,so why am I wearing red?

I used to be the handed bandit,so why am I now so good

in bed.

I used to be clean shaven,so why am I now sporting a beard?

I used to kind and gentle,so why am I now ferocious and feared?

I used to like hard rock music,so why do I now like Justin Beider?

Y’know,what can I say,i have caught the Beiber fever

I used to go to bed really early,now I stay up all night

I used to like to go fishing,now I just go to the fish and chip shop

I used to be a fucking thief,now I am a uniformed cop

I used to like to like scary movies,now I watch documentaries

I used to be rude to people,now I am very complimentary

I used to be a litter bug,now I throw it all in the bin

I used to go to church on Sunday,now all I do is sin

Stranger’s skin,never goe’s out of style

Stranger’s skin,i think I will wear it for a while

But when you think about it,your skin is only the outer layer

It is what is inside,that really matter’s

So just be the best person that you can be.

So whether your skin is white,black or brown.

It doesn’t really matter,cause we are all the same.

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Fortune And Fame

17 Wednesday Dec 2014

Posted by stevenjohnno in poems, stories

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Tags

addiction, death, ego, fame, fortune, glory

This is a story about fortune and fame

It might look like an easy life,but you could

end up playing a losing game.

Look at all the movie and rock stars,that have

fallen by the wayside.

They had stars in their eyes,they took a one

way ride.Into hell.

Joey was 16 when he joined his first band.

He was a good singer,but his instrument of

choice,was the guitar.

He was a red hot player,who knew his way

around the fret.

He is going straight to the top,you bet.

Joey’s first band didn’t get that far.

They had their first taste of the bad stuff.

But man that boy can sure play guitar.

But thing’s were getting out of control,so

Joey left,enough was enough.

Joey auditioned for a band that had a strong

following in their home town.

He started to sing lead as well as playing the

six string demon.

He got the gig,playing up front,man they had

an awesome sound.

They played their gig on the Friday night,people

were screaming and dancing in the aisles.

So Joey had his first taste of fortune and fame.

He started to live life in the fast lane.

Still only sixteen,he was on his way.

But deep down joey know’s he cant handle the

fame.

The band went from strength to strength,they did a

few gigs in Sydney,supporting a national act.

They got good reviews in the local press,they were

up and running,and that’s a fact.

So Joey had his second taste of fortune and fame.

He was starting to realise that this was more then a

game.

But he couldn’t keep his feet on the ground,Joey,loved

but at the same time hated the fortune and fame.

The band was really going place’s,they did a demo,looking

for a record deal.

Joey was looking around,thinking is all this for real

Play guitar and sing and all the kid’s are going crazy.

But then thing’s started to get confused,a little hazy.

Joey and the drummer had an argument over money.

Joey was thinking I am the star,i should be paid the most.

The rest of the band didn’t agree,and told Joey that he should

leave.

The band split,the back stage fight’s had taken there toll.Joey

didn’t know what he was going to do next.

But he knew that he was better then the the band

So he went solo lol.

Joey has had another taste of fortune and fame.

He has come to realise this is not a game.

Even if it was a game,this game has no rule’s.

So if you live a life with no rules,sometimes you pay a

price.

Is Joey willing to pay the price?

He might think this ride is for free,but you will pay.

joey’s first solo gig’s go really well,he play’s like a

trooper a super trouper.

He love’s the spotlight,being up front,the centre of

attention.

And also the girl’s did I forget to mention.

The groupie’s kept all of his need’s satisfied.

They were anomymous face’s,tit’s and arse’s are

all the same.

Joey was tired of the games and all the bullshit.

He just wanted to play and sing,he live’s for the music.

Joey’s next gig didn’t go as planned,he had had a few

many Bourbon’s and fell off the stage.

It is about time Joey stood up,and started to act his age.

But Joey didn’t listen,he was a goddamn rock star.

or so he thought.

There is a lesson here,and it has to be taught.

If you get to big for your boot’s someone will cut you

down to size.

As sure as egg’s and bacon,as sure as the sun rise.

Joey was young and naïve,still only18.

He has signed a contract that he shouldn’t have signed.

Mr Greed has taken him for a song and dance.

Joey played for peanut’s Mr Greed took the rest.

Joey has had another taste of fortune and fame.

Everybody knows his face,everybody knows his name.

Mr Greed the record company exec,want’s Joey to do a

national tour,to support his new single.

But Joey doesn’t want to tour,he want’s to stay at home.

Turn off the phone,and wait for the Mr Greed contract to

finally come to an end.

Mr Greed is talking about a lawsuit,so Joey goe’s out on the

tour,his heart isn’t in it,he doesn’t want to do this anymore.

Backstage after the gig he hook’s up with a shady character

who offer’s Joey a little something to take away all his ill’s.

Joey like’s the little something,and he want’s some more

It take’s away all the business stress and all the shit.

Joey is also happy,because his song has become a hit.

So joey’s tour is extended with more sold out show’s.

He goe’s from motel room to sound check,it is all go,go,go.

Joey and the shady character are the worst of enemie’s,the

best of friend’s,all at the same time.

The substance’s that he is taking,are starting to mess with his

mind

Joey has had another taste of fortune and fame

But this time the taste has turned sour

He cant stand the drudgery,hour after hour

Early the next morning,Joey decide’s to go for a walk,

He is tired of all the interview’s and the business talk.

But he is met by the paparazzi,who shove camera’s in

his face.

Asking him to smile for the camera,smile for the fan’s.

Joey used to like the attention,now it is something he

cant stand.

So he has to live his live hiding behind sunglasses,and a

funny looking hat.

But the show must go on,there is no stopping the machine.

Gig after gig it is all becoming,very draining.

Joey remember’s when he was sober,no drink,no drugs,nice

and clean.

He remember’s the sun,he hate’s it when it is raining.

The rain remind’s him of his life now,cold wet and miserable.

So Joey makes a decision,and he tell’s the driver of the tour

bus to stop.

Joey grab’s his guitar,get’s off the bus,and start’s to walk home.

Mr Greed has filed a lawsuit,but Joey couldn’t give a toss.

He is living his life,day by day,no drink,no drug’s.

Joey is now average Joe,living out in the suburb’s.

With an ordinary job,an ordinary wife,just an ordinary life.

Fortune and fame

Who need’s it.                          .

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The Great White(With An Overbite)

15 Monday Dec 2014

Posted by stevenjohnno in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

If you live in the Newcastle,Lake Macquarie area

and you read the papers,watch the news or surfed

the net,you would have heard of the great white shark

that has been sighted in the lake.

Seeing that the water is salty,the great white feels right

at home.

It swims around,moving it’s tail from side to side.

It loves to feast and roam.

It was first spotted a few weeks ago,by some fishermen

in a boat.

What a surprise,they couldn’t believe their eyes.

Now that is something worthy to note.

This great white is different from the other sharks.

It has a couple of notches in it’s rear fin.

But the great white couldn’t care less,it just wants some

din din.

But the thing you notice the most,is a big hook in the corner

of it’s gob.

God it must be painful,it must hurt a bit.

With the notches in it’s fin,and a hook in it’s mouth,it sure

does stick out from the mob.

So this great white,with the overbite,because of the hook

It’s real name is George,but his friends call him,the sook.

They are all over his constant whining and moaning.

They say’Come on be a man,grow up and go grow a pair’

‘Cause,if you don’t you can go live away from here.’

‘If you don’t stop complaining,you can go and live in the lake.

‘So go on,give us all some peace for heavens sake.

So George the great white with an overbite,leaves his home

and swims into the lake,into the great unknown.

For the first time in his life he is on his own.

He is feeling a bit down,he has never been this far from home.

So George the great white with the overbite,swims around

aimlessly,his mouth is really sore.

He tries to ignore the pain,he tries with all his might.

But he knows that he needs some help,he cant stand it anymore.

Two kids are splashing around,fooling around in the water off

Croudace Bay.

One of the kids notice’s a fin, and screams out SHARK,plus

a few words that his mother would never say.

The fin begins to circle around,and the kids are becoming a bit

frantic.

A few more choice words come out of their mouth’s.

Their eye’s are as big as saucer’s,and their stomach’s are

heading south.

George the great white,does’nt understand,he doesn’t mean

them any harm.

He just wants this pesky hook removed from his mouth.

He really could use some sort of balm,some sort of pill,or

a magic potion.

Some sort of elixier or some calamine lotion.

The two kids have gone,who said you cant walk on water?

They didn’t just walk,they swam at break neck speed.

They didn’t want to hang around and watch the great white

feed(on them).

George the great white doesn’t understand what all the fuss

is about.

Why wont somebody help him?

George is becoming depressed,he is missing his family and

friends.

He just want’s to get back to normal,he just want’s his mouth

and heart to mend.

He really need’s to eat,but because of the hook and overbite

he cant get his mouth to close.

It’s razor sharp teeth are pretty useless,if he cant close his

mouth.

George is getting desperate,he really cant take it anymore.

And with a shake of his tail he swims towards to shore.

Bill and Bob are two employee’s at Bolton Point Marina.

They are on a lunch break,eating pie’s with sauce.

One is short and skinny,the other looks like Frank Farina.

They are running late of course.

Heading back to work,they look towards the water.

And they cant believe their eye’s,a great white shark,has

beached itself near the boat shed.

It is shaking it’s body,and has something sticking out of

it’s head.

They race down to the shore line to get a better look,they

cant believe what they are seeing.

They look in it’s mouth and see a dirty great big hook.

And think’Now that is gonna take some freeing.’

George the great white,has come to realise,that maybe

help has arrived

He is getting weak,he is that he is still alive.

He is hoping to be free before the next low tide.

Bill and Bob meanwhile have gone to get some tools,a

hammer,screwdriver and some plier’s,and a saw.

They mightn’t look like it,but they are nobody’s fool’s.

They arrive back at the water’s edge,a crowd has gathere

around.

You could hear a pin drop,nobody makes a sound.

Bill and Bob are a bit wary,they don’t want to lose a finger

or their arms.

So gingerly Bob probed with the plier’s,and with a squishy

sound the hook came free.

George has half of hisbody up on the sand.

He doesn’t know if he will make it

But make it he will,you’ll see.

George start’s to rock back and forth,trying to return to the

water.

Bill and Bob,and a few of the other bystander’s,rush to give

a helping hand.

And they push George into the water and off the sand.

George cant believe it,he is foot loose and fancy free

With a shake of his tail he heads toward the mouth of the lake,

at a place called Swansea.

He is going home to his family,he is leaving the lake and going

back to the deep blue sea.

Did George really leave?No one really know’s

Just be careful where you swim,cause anything goes!

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The Snowman Who Melted

13 Saturday Dec 2014

Posted by stevenjohnno in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Around 10,000 years ago,in the last ice age

Lived a clan of people,who lived in a dangerous

rage.

Their quality of life was being taken away

They were getting taken over by a rival clan

and they weren’t going to have a say

The children of the clan were playing around

And they decided to build a snowman,that looked

like a clown.

So with buttons for eyes and a carrot for a nose

it looked sort of like a clown I suppose.

The kids didn’t know that the adults were in a bit

of a dilemma.

If things kept on going on the same course.

Things were going to go from bad to worse.

The snowman meanwhile felt the vibrations of the

conflict.

And every time he felt the vibrations he started to

melt.

His emotions were spilling over,they were heart felt.

The snowman was just standing there,it was stuck

in place.

It was still melting,there was a patch missing from

his face.

As long as the conflict lasted the snowman would

continue to melt.

He felt every vibration,he was shrinking,he needed

another notch in his belt.

The rival clan came down from the mountains,and

struck just before day break.

They were met with little resistance,the walls of the

city crumbled.

Just get it over and done with for goodness sake.

The snowman who was originally five foot tall.

Was now only four foot,i guess you could call him

small.

The leader of the losing clan was trying to fight the

fight.

But the rival clan had taken too big of a bite.

The snowman was melting faster then a block

of ice.

This rival clan were nasty,they weren’t very nice.

The leader of the losing clan was calling for

reinforcements.

He was calling out far and wide.

He wanted to fight like a man,not run and hide.

The snowman was still melting,he could feel the

badness in the air.

There was an evil stench that that permenated

everywhere.

The leader of the losing clan was trying to fight

off the invaders.

But he was running out of men,and he couldn’t

stop the misbehavers.

The snowman was melting still,if the fighting didn’t

stop,he would be nothing more then a puddle.

So before he melted away to nothing.

The snowman looked to the sky,closed his eyes

and said a little prayer.

He wished for a miracle,cause he could see that the

options,were few and far between.

They were being defeated by the invaders,those

nasty misbehavers.

The invaders meanwhile had gathered in the town hall

to celebrate the upcoming victory.

But they celebrated too much,there was too much drinking

Their brains had stop thinking,and they didn’t see the

warning signs.

The snowman was still melting,but it had slowed down.

He looked to the heavens and saw the black clouds

gathering.

It looked like his prayer was being answered.

Then there was an almighty bang,as the thunder and

lightning rolled in.

The snowman said a silent thanks,it looked like goodness

was going to prevail.

A drone of lightning hit the town hall,with an electrifying

flash.

The invaders had done their dash.

The town hall caught on fire,the invaders inside in all the

confusion couldn’t find the door.

You could hear the screams from five miles away,or more.

Not one invader escaped the inferno.

They paid the ultimate price for trying to take something

that wasn’t theirs to take.

They have all gone to their graves,because they misbehaved

They wont do it again that is for sure.

The snowman meanwhile has stopped melting altogether.

He is standing upright and proud.

He is back to his usual height.

The town has won the good fight.

Everything is back to normal,the kids are running around

and throwing snow balls.

You can smell the goodness in the air.

People walk the streets without a care.

The snowman just stands there with a satisfied look on

on his face.

All the fighting and all the melting,are just a memory.

The snowman stands there,watching,waiting,anticipating

because he knows winter wont last forever.

Soon the sun will shine ,and the snowman,and the snowman

will begin to fade away,that is for sure.

And then the snowman will be no more.

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The Garden Ghome

13 Saturday Dec 2014

Posted by stevenjohnno in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Sitting on my back verandah enjoying a cup of tea

and a bikkie.

Thinking later maybe me and the missus will have

time for a quickie.

While I was pondering that thought something caught

my eye.

Down at the back of the garden,near the fountain,sits

a little gnome.

Red and white,it stands about 30cms tall.

I had bought it for a dollar,about a year ago,from a

market stall.

But I am digressing,I am only guessing,but I am only

sure I am not losing my mind.

Cause I am sure that when I last looked at the ghome

it’s arms were pointing straight to the ground.

Now they are pointing straight at me,like it wants me to

pick it up.

Well in for a penny in for a pound.

I am still half thinking about my bikkie and the sex.

Well I get up from my chair,wondering what is going to

happen next.

As I got closer to the gnome,it starts to wave it’s arms about.

I bent down to get a closer look.

When the gnome spat in my face,and said’Piss off you sook’.

I was taken aback,i thought the gnome was being friendly,but

he was anything but.

They say actions can give you pain,but words leave a deeper

cut.

I was still getting over the fact that the gnome was alive and

kicking.

I could see that the gnome thought I was ripe for the picking.

I layed down on the ground so that we could look each other

in the eye.

I was daring him to spit on me again.

He just looked at me with an evil grin and said ‘Have I got a

story for you,let me begin’.

I held up my arms and told him to stop talking,you are a garden

gnome,you are supposed to just stand there all silent not talking

and walking.

He looked at me,and said ‘I might look like a garden gnome,but I

am really a leprechaun,who got abducted when I was born’.

The garden gnome and I went up to my verandah,and I poured

him a cup of tea.

He got comfortable,looked off into the distance and started his

story just for me (and now for you).

He said his mother had told him over the the years,about how

he become to be.

It all started in Ireland in a leprechaun community on the out

skirts of Belfast.

Where my mother married a local lad,but my father drank a

lot,so the marriage didn’t last.

I was born before the marriage took place,and in the leprechaun

world,that is a complete no no.

So my mother became very wary,and she jumped at every sound

because she didn’t want the leprechaun council to come and take

me away.

But take me away they did,just two months after I was born.

My mothers soul was broken,her heart was torn.

They took me to a boy’s home for leprechaun’s born out of wedlock.

It was down there by the river,right near the shipping dock.

I stayed there until I was five years old,then some people from the

leprechaun council came and took me away,again.

They took me to a factory,where they made garden gnome’s.

Where I would be shrunk down to size,set in plaster,but I would

still be alive.

I could feel my surroundings,and I got wet when it rained,birds

do their business on my head,i just stand there,i haven’t even

got a bed.

Jesus what a story,i thought,how could the leprechaun council

be so cruel.

But the leprechaun said that he isn’t angry ‘rule’s are rule’s’.

But then the leprechaun told me some good news.

Every year for one week he becomes a leprechaun again,and

he thinks about his mother and the mew’s.

That week is now,as I am writing this story,the garden gnome

and me talking,who by the way,his name is Cory.

The garden gnome,who is now a leprechaun said ‘I only have

a week,so let’s make the most of it.

So we went camping,fishing,every day was crammed full of

fun and adventure.

On the last day the leprechaun told me that he had to be back

in his spot in the garden by midnight,ot there would be consequences

of that he is sure.

So we had one last talk,one last cup of tea.

And that is the story of the garden gnome and me.

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Where Does Dust Come From

06 Saturday Dec 2014

Posted by stevenjohnno in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Where does dust come from?

It is all through my house

maybe it comes in on the fur

of a mouse.

Where does dust come from?

It is in my living room

maybe it is swepted in on a

witch’s broom.

Where does dust come from?

I just dusted and it is back way

too soon.

maybe it drifted down from the

dark side of the moon.

Where does dust come from?

maybe a giant sat on all the boulders

and turned them into dust.

Where does dust come from?

Maybe it is from the wings of birds

as they fly around.

And all the feather dust falls to the

ground.

Where does dust come from?

maybe from an erupting volcano

in a far away place.

the dust is so thick it is all over

my face.

Where does dust come from?

maybe from the hooves of horses

as they run down the track

I keep on dusting,but it always

comes back.

Where does dust come from?

maybe from a raging bush fire

as it burns it’s way up the coast

I don’t know about where you live

but it seems to like my place the most

Where does dust come from?

maybe from a tornado,strong enough

to lift up a cow.

that is pretty impressive,that is like,wow

Where does dust come from?

maybe from a rally car,going to fast

around the bend.

maybe this,maybe that,no one really

knows.

dust just appears,it just is.

There is no need to worry

we are all just dust and water

every father and son,mother and

daughter.

In the end just like a car gone to rust

that is what we become,just a speck

of dust.

PS This was a request from my mother

thanks Mum.

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