It isn’t any fun getting old

You have to really concentrate

when people talk.

Cause my hearing isn’t the best.

I walked out to the letter box

the other day,to collect the mail.

And halfway back

I had to stop for a rest.

I lay back watching some Tv

in my leather recliner

drinking a cup of tea

Jesus,I gotta do another pee.

On my way to the bathroom

I feel a little bit of Mr Arthur Ritis

in my left knee.

After a few drip’s and drop’s,which

could hardly be called a pee.

I headed back to my TV.

Old Man Blue’s

I cant find my shoe’s

I got to stop writing now.

It is time for my afternoon snooze.

It is tea time.

Maybe I qualify for Meal’s On Wheel’s

Where everything is mashed and taste’s



God,I feel like another nap.

Seeing that I don’t qualify for the old folk’s

mobile service.

I just make some cheese on toast.

That is the kind of food that I love the most.

Old Man Blue’s

Why is there so much hair up my nose?

I ask the question

But nobody know’s

It is time for bed

I put my teeth into a cup

The missus ask’s

‘How about a roll in the clover?’

Three second’s later,it is all over.

I will see a doctor about my fast finishing

And my floppy disk.

My doctor is a friend,so what’s the risk?

I don’t want everyone to know I am having

trouble downstair’s.

It’s only been in recent time’s

I was caught unaware’s.

Old Man Blue’s

My teeth are not my own

and neither are my hip’s.

They are made out of plastic;

I should be sponsored by Tupperware

People look,people stare.

I walked into the chemist

to buy some Depend’s.

You know,the old folk’s nappy.

I was feeling something.

But it wasn’t happy.

I am thinking about joining a bowling


Bowling in the midday sun.

Where my wrinkle’s start to crinkle

I feel like Rip Van Winkle.

My hair has gone from brown to grey.

Can you repeat that?

What did you say?

Old Man Blue’s

I got to take twenty pill’s a day

To try to keep the undertaker at bay.

But when my time is up

I want have much to say.

I went shopping the other day

Pushing my wonky wheeled trolley

When a kid walked up to me and said

‘Hey mister,where is my lollie?’

I forgot to bring my shopping list.

I bought milk instead of bread.

There is something happening inside

my head.

I go to the car park,and I have forgotten

where I have parked my car.

I just walk around in circle’s,going from

bay to bay.

Nobody listen’s to a word I say.

I may be old,but I am young at heart.

Yes,I may walk with a stick

And do the occasional fart.

But I am still a person

Everybody let’s one go.

I may be feeble,I might be slow.

I may stop,when you say go.

Old Man Blue’s

Where’s my prescription?

I take a lot of pill’s

Too many to mention

Sorry what were you saying?

Did you ask a question?

Maybe I should apply for the old age


Now I am really showing my age.

Get me some money to play the pokie’s

Spend my time in an old age daze.

Old Man Blue’s

I cant find my shoe’s

Or my car key’s,or my wallet.

Where did I put my teeth?

Or the remote for the TV.

I look,but I don’t really see.

I know that one day God will tap

me on the shoulder.

Then I know I wont be getting any


This story is dedicated to

Brian MacCarthy haha.