It isn’t any fun getting old
You have to really concentrate
when people talk.
Cause my hearing isn’t the best.
I walked out to the letter box
the other day,to collect the mail.
And halfway back
I had to stop for a rest.
I lay back watching some Tv
in my leather recliner
drinking a cup of tea
Jesus,I gotta do another pee.
On my way to the bathroom
I feel a little bit of Mr Arthur Ritis
in my left knee.
After a few drip’s and drop’s,which
could hardly be called a pee.
I headed back to my TV.
Old Man Blue’s
I cant find my shoe’s
I got to stop writing now.
It is time for my afternoon snooze.
It is tea time.
Maybe I qualify for Meal’s On Wheel’s
Where everything is mashed and taste’s
like
crap.
God,I feel like another nap.
Seeing that I don’t qualify for the old folk’s
mobile service.
I just make some cheese on toast.
That is the kind of food that I love the most.
Old Man Blue’s
Why is there so much hair up my nose?
I ask the question
But nobody know’s
It is time for bed
I put my teeth into a cup
The missus ask’s
‘How about a roll in the clover?’
Three second’s later,it is all over.
I will see a doctor about my fast finishing
And my floppy disk.
My doctor is a friend,so what’s the risk?
I don’t want everyone to know I am having
trouble downstair’s.
It’s only been in recent time’s
I was caught unaware’s.
Old Man Blue’s
My teeth are not my own
and neither are my hip’s.
They are made out of plastic;
I should be sponsored by Tupperware
People look,people stare.
I walked into the chemist
to buy some Depend’s.
You know,the old folk’s nappy.
I was feeling something.
But it wasn’t happy.
I am thinking about joining a bowling
club.
Bowling in the midday sun.
Where my wrinkle’s start to crinkle
I feel like Rip Van Winkle.
My hair has gone from brown to grey.
Can you repeat that?
What did you say?
Old Man Blue’s
I got to take twenty pill’s a day
To try to keep the undertaker at bay.
But when my time is up
I want have much to say.
I went shopping the other day
Pushing my wonky wheeled trolley
When a kid walked up to me and said
‘Hey mister,where is my lollie?’
I forgot to bring my shopping list.
I bought milk instead of bread.
There is something happening inside
my head.
I go to the car park,and I have forgotten
where I have parked my car.
I just walk around in circle’s,going from
bay to bay.
Nobody listen’s to a word I say.
I may be old,but I am young at heart.
Yes,I may walk with a stick
And do the occasional fart.
But I am still a person
Everybody let’s one go.
I may be feeble,I might be slow.
I may stop,when you say go.
Old Man Blue’s
Where’s my prescription?
I take a lot of pill’s
Too many to mention
Sorry what were you saying?
Did you ask a question?
Maybe I should apply for the old age
pension.
Now I am really showing my age.
Get me some money to play the pokie’s
Spend my time in an old age daze.
Old Man Blue’s
I cant find my shoe’s
Or my car key’s,or my wallet.
Where did I put my teeth?
Or the remote for the TV.
I look,but I don’t really see.
I know that one day God will tap
me on the shoulder.
Then I know I wont be getting any
older.
This story is dedicated to
Brian MacCarthy haha.
stevenjohnstonblog 