Ah yes,this is the life
laying back having a few beers.
I am about to watch a movie.
As my friends will tell you
I am not exactly a movie fanatic
I might watch one or two a year.
Okay time to get started
time to get my arse into gear.
I got to the fridge to get a fresh brew.
Then I sit in my chair,and press play.
The movie I am about to watch
Is a creepy movie.
Straight away I am starting to get nervous
a bit apprehensive.
Beads of sweat dot my forehead.
My nerves are somewhat sensitive.
The first victim falls to the ground
The head goes one way
The body the other.
I give a little jump
and said something like ‘sweet mother.’
I cant believe that much blood can come
out of one person.
The blood fills the screen
The blood fills my mind.
I will have a few more beers
It will give me something to hide
After about an hour
I pick up the remote,and hit pause.
Not that I am scared or anything.
Just well,just because.
I look at the TV screen
and all I can see is Red
Maybe it is time to finish my Beer
and head off to bed.
But no, I am watching a movie
and watch a movie I shall.
Victim number three or maybe five
lays splattered on the floor
I hope like hell that she survives
But going by all the blood and gore
I know that is wishful thinking
My bladder is full
My heart is sinking.
I go to the fridge for a refill
and settle in front of the screen
I hit play and victim six
is sliced,diced and ground.
I know one thing for sure
She is no longer around.
My bladder is bursting
I need some relief
I need to visit the bathroom
I need to go now
No more beers for me
Not for ten minutes,anyhow.
The tension is building
I am waiting for victim number seven
Here she comes right on cue
The Diceman is waiting
ready to slash and burn
Victim seven doesn’t have long to wait
It is now her turn.
Man this is really getting to me
all that suffering and pain
Yeah,I know it is just a movie
and none of it is real.
I know that I am a wuss bag.
But I cant help the way I feel.
Victim number eight is running late
The movie hits a flat spot.
It is time for a snack.
Some Vegemite on toast.
Now that really hits the mark
Now back to watching the movie
Sitting alone in the dark.
Victim number eight acts like Paris
About as sexy as a mannequin.
But the Paris lookalike try’s her best
But she is riding a wave
that will never crest.
My mind starts to wander
This movie is getting on my nerves
I have ben watching this crap for over
Which is fifty minutes more then it deserves.
But wait a minute
I think that the Diceman is looking my way.
He his looking past the camera
Past the TV screen
The Diceman is one nasty fiend.
I rub my eyes
And I have another look
The Diceman gives me a wink
and a little smirk
I think that the Diceman is sbout to go
Surely this isn’t real
He is just a movie bad guy.
But the Diceman looks me straight in
And whispers my name
And I know that I am in the middle
of a deadly game.
I think Jesus these movies are really
This getting to know the characters
is really going a bit overboard.
Am I about to feel the edge of a sword?
The Diceman looks at me with deadly
I say,hold the phone ‘I have a couple of
But the Diceman doesn’t have any answers
All he has is bad acting and a sword.
I am really getting worried
My scrotum heads towards my throat
I am in a boat
That doesn’t want to float.
But then I get some inspiration.
And I pick up the remote
and I press stop.
The Diceman disappears
along with all of my fears.