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I went shopping the other day
to the local supermarket.
I bought a few things
and I made my way to the
checkouts.
I go to the express lane
12 items or less.
Well obviously the people in front
of me cant count.
The first person has 18 items
the second 15
and the third 16.
Finally it is my turn
The checkout girl says she has to
make change.
And change the receipt roll in the
register.
Jesus is it just me
Or is there a conspiracy.
After that I visit the bank
I am in luck
The queue is only half a mile long
About an hour later I am the third
person in line.
The person getting served is sure
taking her time
she and the teller are having a good
chat.
I really do enjoy waiting in lines
I have nothing better to do.
I am surprised there isn’t a robbery
That would be the icing on the cake
Finally it is my turn
The teller tells me she is out of money
She is waiting for more
Jesus is it just me
Or is there s conspiracy
I am driving home
and I get stopped for a RBT
The Cop says to blow into this
Of course I pass
I have been standing in line all day
Who has the time to drink?
I am on my way
Of course all the traffic lights are red
The person in front of me is going 45 in
a 60 zone.
All I need now is a flat tyre
Or a Kangaroo to jump out in front of me
All I want to do is to go from A to B
not A to Z.
I look in my rearview mirror
and I see a car getting really close
A little to close for comfort
and he gives my bumper a little nudge
and I hit the car in front
Jesus is it just me
Or is there a conspiracy
After checking out the damage
and exchanging details with the
other drivers
I limp my car home.
Finally I am home
I can sit back and relax
Watch some TV and have a few beers
maybe something a little stronger
While I think about the conspiracy
A couple of hours later
my blood pressure is back to normal
I am back to my old self
Then have come to realise
that there isn’t any conspiracy
It is just crap that happens to everybody
It is just part of living in a city
Shit happens
Don’t reach for a bottle or a pill
Just chill.