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I went shopping the other day

to the local supermarket.

I bought a few things

and I made my way to the

checkouts.

I go to the express lane

12 items or less.

 

Well obviously the people in front

of me cant count.

The first person has 18 items

the second 15

and the third 16.

 

Finally it is my turn

The checkout girl says she has to

make change.

And change the receipt roll in the

register.

Jesus is it just me

Or is there a conspiracy.

 

After that I visit the bank

I am in luck

The queue is only half a mile long

About an hour later I am the third

person in line.

The person getting served is sure

taking her time

she and the teller are having a good

chat.

I really do enjoy waiting in lines

I have nothing better to do.

I am surprised there isn’t a robbery

That would be the icing on the cake

Finally it is my turn

The teller tells me she is out of money

She is waiting for more

Jesus is it just me

Or is there s conspiracy

 

I am driving home

and I get stopped for a RBT

The Cop says to blow into this

Of course I pass

I have been standing in line all day

Who has the time to drink?

 

I am on my way

Of  course all the traffic lights are red

The person in front of me is going 45 in

a 60 zone.

All I need now is a flat tyre

Or a Kangaroo to jump out in front of me

All I want to do is to go from A to B

not A to Z.

 

I look in my rearview mirror

and I see a car getting really close

A little to close for comfort

and he gives my bumper a little nudge

and I hit the car in front

Jesus is it just me

Or is there a conspiracy

After checking out the damage

and exchanging details with the

other drivers

I limp my car home.

 

Finally I am home

I can sit back and relax

Watch some TV  and have a few beers

maybe something a little stronger

While I think about the conspiracy

 

A couple of hours later

my blood pressure is back to normal

I am back to my old self

Then have come to realise

that there isn’t any conspiracy

It is just crap that happens to everybody

It is just part of living in a city

Shit happens

Don’t reach for a bottle or a pill

Just chill.