Olaf the caveman is sitting in his man cave
Shivering and shaking
He was really feeling the cold.
He has been eating nothing but ground up
insects and grubs.
Since the day he was born.
What he wouldn’t do for some hot Chicken
Beans and Corn.
Hot Chicken Beans and Corn.
It is a legend that has been spoken about for
years on the grapevine.
Another clan that live on the other side of the
Near a peat bog mire.
Say all that you need is something that they call
Olaf sits in his cave still freezing off his butt
He is sharpening his flint bladed axe.
He isn’t concentrating and he gives himself a
He throws the axe into the axe bucket
That cut stings fuck it
But flint on flint sure does leave a mark
It creates something that is called a spark.
Olaf the caveman jumps up from his fur
All that reaction from throwing his tool.
Now Olaf the caveman isn’t all that smart
But he also is no dummy.
He grabs two of his axes and a handful of
He rubs the two axes together
There are a few sparks and something more
Smoke and then a few little flames of fire slowly
Now Olaf the caveman isn’t so cold.
Olaf goes go’s out in the snow to collect
some fire wood.
He carries a big load as much as he could
Wet wood doesn’t burn all that well
Olaf soon learns that much.
And he stacks the wood in the corner
near the kitchen hutch.
Life is finally looking up
the cave is warm and cosy
But the downside is that the
neighbours are getting nosy
They want to know who is the bright spark
And how is your cave lit up after dark.
Olaf ignores the neighbours and just concentrates
on his life.
It is time to settle down and find himself a wife.
So he picks up his club and go’s out on his quest
He has his eye on a local girl
you can forget the rest.
Her name is Wild flower
And just like the flower she is wild and free.
Olaf is smitten
Wild flower is good looking and great company.
To make it official Olaf gives Wildflower a love
tap with his club.
Even though it didn’t really hurt
she gives the spot a rub.
Olaf decides to come clean with the neighbours
And he invites them to his cave
He tells them to sit still be quiet and don’t
Olaf rubs two pieces of flint together
and the sparks begin to fly
and the smoke reaches for the sky
His guests just sit there
their eyes filled with wonder
Outside is the sound of thunder.
The storm cant dampen the spirits of the
They have seen the fire
they have felt its heat.
Now they can finally eat some cooked meat
Olaf go’s hunting early the next day
With his spear,axe and bow and arrow
And Wine in a vessel made of clay.
He is hunting Wooly Mammoth.Caribou
Bison or even a Wild Turkey or two.
But what he takes home is a half dozen
He couldn’t aim properly.
He went to that vessel one time to many
Either drinking or spending a penny.
But when he gets back home the clan is happy
to have meat to cook
They gather around the fire to get another look
They still cant believe the heat coming from
They will be warm when they are hit by the
Olaf is in a happy mood and he go’s back to
And he gives Wildflower a tap from a different
And straight away she is with a bub.
To celebrate the union Olaf go’s off hunting
and the spears Caribou.
The clan is happy that Olafs aim has improved.
And they have a huge feast of meat.
They eat it with Potatoes Beans and Beet’s.
Nine months later and Wild flower and Olaf are in
the birth room
Wild flower is about to deliver a Baby
The Baby is to be born on the first day of the
That is a lucky sign the Baby is born with a silver
Everything is going to be fine.
And fine iot is.
Wildflower has given Olaf his first son
The boy is named Hansel.
He sleeps most of the time and is real gentle
Olaf still hasn’t had a meal of Chicken Beans and Corn
But all he cares about is the health of his first born.
Olaf Wildflower and now little Hansel
just live from day to day
Hunting eating and staying out of the cold
With little Hansel doing what he is told
Most of the time anyway.
Fire has made life a lot easier
The clan live a life of peace and quiet.
But trouble is brewing an evil wind is blowing
Well that is it I have got to get going.
Keep an eye out for the next instalment
Olaf the Caveman The peace is shattered.