Olaf the caveman is sitting in his man cave

Shivering and shaking

He was really feeling the cold.

He has been eating nothing but ground up

insects and grubs.

Since the day he was born.

What he wouldn’t do for some hot Chicken

Beans and Corn.

Hot Chicken Beans and Corn.

It is a legend that has been spoken about for

years on the grapevine.

Another clan that live on the other side of the

old world.

Near a peat bog mire.

Say all that you need is something that they call


Olaf sits in his cave still freezing off his butt

He is sharpening his flint bladed axe.

He isn’t concentrating and he gives himself a

nasty cut.

He throws the axe into the axe bucket

That cut stings fuck it

But flint on flint sure does leave a mark

It creates something that is called a spark.

Olaf the caveman jumps up from his fur

covered stool.

All that reaction from throwing his tool.

Now Olaf the caveman isn’t all that smart

But he also is no dummy.

He grabs two of his axes and a handful of


He rubs the two axes together

There are a few sparks and something more

Smoke and then a few little flames of fire slowly

take hold.

Now Olaf the caveman isn’t so cold.

Olaf goes go’s out in the snow to collect

some fire wood.

He carries a big load as much as he could

Wet wood doesn’t burn all that well

Olaf soon learns that much.

And he stacks the wood in the corner

near the kitchen hutch.

Life is finally looking up

the cave is warm and cosy

But the downside is that the

neighbours are getting nosy

They want to know who is the bright spark

And how is your cave lit up after dark.

Olaf ignores the neighbours and just concentrates

on his life.

It is time to settle down and find himself a wife.

So he picks up his club and go’s out on his quest

He has his eye on a local girl

you can forget the rest.

Her name is Wild flower

And just like the flower she is wild and free.

Olaf is smitten

Wild flower is good looking and great company.

To make it official Olaf gives Wildflower a love

tap with his club.

Even though it didn’t really hurt

she gives the spot a rub.

Olaf decides to come clean with the neighbours

And he invites them to his cave

He tells them to sit still be quiet and don’t


Olaf rubs two pieces of flint together

and the sparks begin to fly

and the smoke reaches for the sky

His guests just sit there

their eyes filled with wonder

Outside is the sound of thunder.

The storm cant dampen the spirits of the

cave clan.

They have seen the fire

they have felt its heat.

Now they can finally eat some cooked meat

Olaf go’s hunting early the next day

With his spear,axe and bow and arrow

And Wine in a vessel made of clay.

He is hunting Wooly Mammoth.Caribou

Bison or even a Wild Turkey or two.

But what he takes home is a half dozen


He couldn’t aim properly.

He went to that vessel one time to many

Either drinking or spending a penny.

But when he gets back home the clan is happy

to have meat to cook

They gather around the fire to get another look

They still cant believe the heat coming from

the flames.

They will be warm when they are hit by the

summer rains.

Olaf is in a happy mood and he go’s back to

his cave.

And he gives Wildflower a tap from a different


And straight away she is with a bub.

To celebrate the union Olaf go’s off hunting

and the spears Caribou.

The clan is happy that Olafs aim has improved.

And they have a huge feast of meat.

They eat it with Potatoes Beans and Beet’s.

Nine months later and Wild flower and Olaf are in

the birth room

Wild flower is about to deliver a Baby

The Baby is to be born on the first day of the

new moon.

That is a lucky sign the Baby is born with a silver


Everything is going to be fine.

And fine iot is.

Wildflower has given Olaf his first son

The boy is named Hansel.

He sleeps most of the time and is real gentle

Olaf still hasn’t had a meal of Chicken Beans and Corn

But all he cares about is the health of his first born.

Olaf Wildflower and now little Hansel

just live from day to day

Hunting eating and staying out of the cold

With little Hansel doing what he is told

Most of the time anyway.

Fire has made life a lot easier

The clan live a life of peace and quiet.

But trouble is brewing an evil wind  is blowing

Well that is it I have got to get going.

Keep an eye out for the next instalment

Olaf the Caveman The peace is shattered.