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The following story is very extreme

If you don’t like blood and gore

Don’t read anymore

A very dark minded individual is lurking in the


He has his favourite weapon at hand.

A big shiny machete.

He looks at the Moon

and a smile comes to his face.

It is time for a killing

As the ice water flows through his veins

He is ready to inflict some pain.

He jumps into his Ute

and he is off on the hunt

He isn’t hunting Kangaroos Goanna

Wallaby or even Bush Pigs

He is hunting Humans

As his headlights light up the night sky

He spots a lone hitch hiker standing on the

side of the highway.

He drives up to the hiker and asks him where

he is going.

The reply is ‘Alice Springs’

‘Jump on in that is where I am going’.

The hitch hiker climbs in and he goes on what will

be his last car ride.

His name is Michael a tourist from Germany

He is glad to get a lift

He has been hitching for four or five hours

Machete Man sits and listens to the German

but he has heard enough

And without even looking he swings his left arm

And he knocks the German out cold.

He drives back to his campsite

and drags the German out of his Ute

and he throws him to the ground

Earlier the Machete Man had spotted a Meat

Ant nest.

He places the German on top of the mound

He strips off all of his clothes

Then he ties him down with tent pegs and rope.

We all know that the Machete is good for hacking through

the scrub.

But it is also good for slicing

And slice he does.

One by one he inflicts about one hundred little

cuts all over the Germans body.

As the blood seeps into the ground

the nest comes alive as ten thousand Meat Ants

come out to protect their home.

They are not called Meat Ants for nothing

And they slowly start to devour the German.

The Machete Man sits watching the macbre scene

Drinking a Beer and eating a Lizard.

He might even have an appetite for some German flesh

The German can feel the Ants eating him alive

He feels them entering his nostrils seeking his

tender Brain.

The German cant do anything as the Ants slowly

eat his grey matter.

The Germans thoughts are scrambled

He is blind and he knows that his time is almost up

He says a last goodbye to his parents back home

And then he dies.

Machete Man hears him take his last breath

And he tingles with exhilaration

It feels almost as good as an orgasm.

A few days later he is sitting beside a billabong

catching some Fish for dinner.

Just then a local strolls up asks the Machete Man

how are the Fish biting

The Machete Man doesn’t even answer he swings

the Machete.

And he removes the locals arm at the elbow.

The local screams to the heavens but there is no one around

to hear.

Machete Man comes from behind and with three more swings

he removes the other arm plus both of the legs.

Then he pushes the local into the water.

Two Crocodiles are waiting

And as the body hits the water

They grab hold and roll in two different directions

The local is ripped apart into three pieces

He is eaten.

The only thing left is a pool of blood.

Again Machete Man shivers with goosebumps

He is excited with anticipation

He needs another victim.

The Machete Man is getting tired of waiting.

In the Outback you might not see another person

for a week.

Driving down a dirt track he comes across a 4WD

broken down in a creek bed.

He offers the driver the use of his Satellite phone

that he has in his Ute.

As the driver walks past to climb in

Machete Man swings his weapon once and he severs

the drivers Achilles tendon.

And with another swing he severs the other one

The driver isn’t going anywhere.

A piece of duct tape keeps the driver quiet

And he is thrown into the back of the Ute

and driven back to the camp site.

The driver is carried to the base of a tree

and leant against the truck.

The Machete is used to open up the driver

from the throat to the belly button.

His guts spill onto the ground grey and orange

intestines hit the floor

An awful stench fills the air.

Machete Man sits in his Ute and waits.

He doesn’t have to wait long

As four Dingoes trot arrive smelling the stench

The driver just sits there he cant believe that this is

really happening.

One of the Trots up and starts to eat the spilled guts.

The driver starts to thrash and moan.

Another Dingo is annoyed by the sound.

And he grabs the driver and rips out his throat

The Dingoes feast for hours

Till there is nothing left but gristle and bone.

Machete Man drags the driver and throws him onto the

Meat Ant nest.

Where he lays next to the German.

Machete Man cant believe what he is hearing

As a car approachs his camp site.

Not just a car but a Police car.

A lone female Officer asks the Machete Man if he

has seen anybody

As a 4WD has been found just a few miles away.

Machete Man says that he hasn’t seen anybody in weeks

But as the Officer starts to leave

She looks over in the direction of the Ant nest.

She scrambles for her gun

But she doesn’t quite make it.

Machete Man throws his Machete And it hits her right

between the eyes.

He lowers her to the ground

and pulls down her panties

and exposes her pubic mound

With one quick jab the machete enters her


And with a slice he removes her clit

Then he squats over the body and drops a nasty


In the final degradation he grabs his manhood and with

a few jerks he sprays his sperm all around.

Things are getting out of control

his mind is warped

But he still has the sense to drive the Police car

into a ravine

Where it will never be found

Once again the body is placed on the Ants nest

Where the Ants are getting full to bursting.

Machete Man has taken the Officers gun and Police cap.

Time for a change of scenery and Machete Man drives all

the way to Coober Pedy.

He approaches  a Opal miner

And asks if he has a mining licence

As the miner reaches for his pocket

The Machete Man swings his fist and drops the

miner with a single punch

He is taken to Machete Mans new camp site

Where a camp fire is waiting

A skillet pan warming up

The miner is layed on the ground and his pants are pulled


With one slice his Scrotum is opened and his Testicles are

removed and thrown into the skillet.

But the Machete Man wants more and with a tea spoon he

gouges out the miners eyes

And they are thrown into the pan

Machete Man is delirious and he doesn’t even hear the miners


The Machete Man places the cooked balls and eyes on a plate

And he approaches the miner to feed him his own parts

But the Machete Man has made a fatal mistake

Cause even though the miner is blind

His hand has found the handle of the Machete

He swings with all his might and slices the

Machete Man across the throat

Machete Man gurgles as his life flickers out

His blood seeps into the dirt staining the earth with

his evil fluid

The Machete Man and the miner die at the same time

The miner goes into the light

Machete Man into the dark

Right where he belongs.