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Seymour the wayward Snail is a very troubled Snail

He lives on the wrong side of the street

His parents are worried that he is going off the rails

A more troubled Snail you will never meet

The trouble started when Seymour was a child

When he started to hang with the wrong crowd

He grew his hair and ran wild

He was all shell and very proud.

Seymours first foray to the wrong side of the law

Was when he ignored a No Trespassing sign in a

neighbours yard.

But he had a taste for Cabbage leaves and he wanted more

So he slide under the fence and ate up the whole yard.

The neighbour Mr Babbage didn’t like Seymour eating his


And Seymour the wayward Snail was caught and handed to

the Snail Police.

A Constable Escargot was in charge of Seymours case.

Seymour might have escaped but Snails are mighty slow

Seymour was ashamed that he couldn’t make haste.

Constable Escargot let Seymour off with a warning

And he was sent on his way

But Seymour didn’t understand how he was arrested in

the first place.

Sure he is slow but he was well hidden

No way had he been seen

It was like Mr Babbage had x ray vision.

Back at home Seymour is restless cause he has

been grounded without a mobile phone

His parents want Seymour to return to the straight

and narrow.

But Seymour sneaks out and goes on a bit of a roam

Cause he has a hankering for some juicy Marrow.

But once again Seymour is arrested at the scene of

the crime.

But he doesn’t understand what gave him away?

He was sure he left no trace this time

His parents are distraught as they sit in the back

of the court

Watching as their son is sentenced by the Judge

and Jury.

Seymour has realised that his crimes have all come to


He sits there in  a silent fury

The Judge gives him three years in a home for

wayward Snails

Seymour is crushed and he goes back inside his shell

He was sure that he would make bail now he is on his

way to hell.

At the wayward home Seymour  is subjected to taunts

and abuse

He is called soft shell and told to harden up

He doesn’t understand the stuff that went down in the


He is tormented by the head Snail named Bruce

He is forced to do some nasty things the pain goes

on for hours and hours.

Finally the three year sentence has come to an end

Seymour has become a mere shell of himself

He didn’t break but he sure did bend

He realises that crime is no good for your health

Arriving home he apologises to his parents for all the

crap he has put them through

And then he decides to say sorry to his neighbour

Mr Babbage the keeper of the Cabbage

Mr Babbage isn’t at home but Seymour notices these

Green pellets scattered all over the yard

He cant resist and he eats the whole lot

What Seymour doesn’t know is that he just swallowed

a whole lot of Snail bait

His stomach starts to churn and he spews up his guts

Seymour has come to the end of the road there are no

ifs or buts

Now he is nothing but a body of slime

Seymour has run out of time

On his deathbed Seymour has one last question for

his parents

He wants to know why he was always getting caught

He was sure that he had always covered his tracks

His Mum said ‘Seymour love you are a Snail you always

leave a trail’ lol

Seymour gives a rueful smile says goodbye to his Mum

and Dad

Then he just slips away

Seymour the wayward Snail has lived his final day.