Monthly Archives: June 2015

Louisiana Freight Train

27 Saturday Jun 2015

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Forty five years ago today a champion was born

He wasn’t born a champion that came later on

He was born Calvin Dupree

He had skin as black as Ebony

He lived in the outer suburbs of Baton Rogue

Louisiana

They say he was a bad penny with a very short fuse

Calvins Mama worked three jobs just to put food on

the table

But still there was never enough food to eat

His clothes were all hand me downs

He wore no shoes on his feet

Calvins Papa walked out on the day he was born

He didn’t want to be tied down

He didn’t want to take responsibility

Calvin never got to meet his Papa and it is a good

thing that he didn’t

His Papa did a lot of things and most of them he shoudnt

In his teenage years Calvin lived his life on the streets

Just trying to survive

Shop lifting mugging anything to help his Mama pay the rent

As soon as he gets some money it is already spent

When he was Fifteen he robbed the wrong person

And he was arrested

Then next morning he appeared at the Juvenile Court

The Judge gave him three years in detention

Calvin thinks that he got three years because of the

colour of his skin

He is Black did I forget to mention

He arrives at detention with a chip on his shoulder

And a fire in his belly

He doesn’t like to be locked away or confined

Being put away does something to your mind

The following day at lunch Calvin is standing in the food

line

When a White Gang banger tries to push in front

Calvin throws a punch and Whitey goes down like a bag

of shit

And all it took was one hit

With that single punch Calvin got himself a reputation

A skinny Black kid who could punch like a sledge hammer

He toughest little Black kid in this freaking slammer

Over the next couple of years took on any inmate who wanted to

fight

Calvin won every fight and he inflicted a whole lot of pain

And that is where he got the name Freight Train

The Warden got wind of Calvins fondness for throwing

his fists

And two guards escorted him  to the Wardens office

The Warden told Calvin that in two weeks time he was going

home

He tells Calvin to keep his hands to himself stay out of trouble

and you are home free

So Calvin does what the Warden asks and he behaves like

a choir boy

He goes to the Prison church and says a prayer

But underneath he is a fighter so beware

Upon his release Calvin goes straight back to his old ways

Robbing stealing making the same mistakes that he did before

Mistakes that he cant afford to make no more

About a week later he is just walking along the street when he comes

upon a Gym

So he goes inside and signs up and starts to lift weights bench

press skip rope and shadow box

One day while doing his exercises a Boxing match is  in progress

When one of the fighters goes down in the first round the other fighter

is frustrated he wants a more intense workout

Calvin who is getting bigger and bigger goes to the side of the

ring and offers to take the losers place

Calvin climbs into the ring wearing gloves and head gear

for the first time

His opponent is a little cocky and blaise

Calvin feints to the left then throws a right upper cut

His opponents head snaps back and his lights go out

And that folks is the end of the bout

All the bystanders are stunned and one of them asks ‘Kid what

is your name? he answers with

‘They call me the Louisiana Freight Train’

Well the Train has left the Station it is rolling down the track

It is an express it doesn’t make any stops

It is on its way straight to the top

Over the next few months Freight Train fights and defeats all

of the other Boxers who step in the ring

Not one fight goes past the first round

Freight Train is the best fighter pound for pound

A Promoter does he want to turn Professional

‘I could make you  the next Cassius Clay so what do you say?’

Freight Train nods his head and says that he is ready

His first Professional fight is set for three months time

Three months later and the Baton Rogue Fighters Club is

a sell out

Freight Train opponent is a old pro named Typhoon Larry

Typhoon is the State champion and he has been for years

He has had 52 fights and he has won them all by knockout

If a Freight Train and a Typhoon ever meet who would win?

Well you are about to find out

Both fighters touch gloves and the fight is on

Freight Train steps forward and unleashes a volley of punchs

Typhoon Larry doesn’t know what hit him and he hits the canvass

And he isn’t getting up

The referee counts Typhoon Larry

Freight Train is the new State champion

He celebrates with fifty grand in his pocket

It is the most money he has ever seen

He sends half to his Mama and the other half goes in the Bank

Suddenly Freight Trains name gets the attention of Fox and CNN

He is all Red White and Blue

He is fighting for me he is fighting for you

For the next three years Freight Train slowly works his way

up the rankings

He currently sits at number Eight in the World

He wants a shot at the World Heavyweight Championship belt

A month later Freight Trains Manager tells him that if he wins his next fight

He will get a shot at the title

He could be the next Champion

Freight Train works his ass off he trains the house down

He is at peak fitness he is ready to fight

This fight will either make or break him

Fight night arrives and Freight Train enters the ring

He his up against the favourite Rod ‘The Brick ‘ Simpson who

has never been defeated in his 20 fights

Freight Train is also undefeated 29 fights 29 knockouts

For the first Five rounds both Boxers trade blows ‘ The Brick ‘

has a cut under his left eye

At the start of the Sixth round Freight Train walks up and hits Simpson

on his Jaw

And  ‘The Brick ‘ hits the floor

The Referee counts to Ten and ‘ The Brick ‘ is counted out

The crowd is stunned then they erupt in cheers

Once again Freight Train has delivered the goods

The World title fight is set for April 13 Six months from now

At Madison Square Garden against the World Champion

The Bulgarian Nicoli Spazovich

FreightTrain now has more money then he could ever spend

He owns 3 houses and about 29 Cars

He is on the cover of every sports magazine

But none of that matters all he wants is to be crowned as the World

Champion

The six months go by fast but Freight Train is more then ready for the

challenge

If he wins he will become the richest fighter the World has ever seen

Madison Square Garden is a sell out

And there is a Global audience of 2 Billion people

The is being billed as East versus West

Some also think that it is Black versus White

One thing that Freight Train knows is that he probably want

win by knockout he will have to wear the Bulgarian out

The signals fight on and both Boxers try to stare each other down

They trade punches for the first Eight rounds Freight Train is slowly

wearing the Bulgarian down with body punches

The bell sounds for the start of the last round and Freight Train is just

ahead on points

He tries to deliver the killer punch but the Bulgarian is cagey

and he holds Freight Train against the ropes

With 20 seconds to go Freight Train knows that it is now

or never

He cocks his right arm but then he delivers a left cross to the head

of the Bulgarian who staggers across the ring by the force of the punch

then he cant do nothing but land on his back

And he doesn’t get up

The crowd goes ballistic and Freight Train raises his gloves in victory

He is now the World Heavyweight Champion of the world

The press the next call the final blow ‘The Punch Of The Century’

Freight Train defends his title against all comers for the next Eight

years but he knows that he is losing his edge

So at a press conference he announces his retirement from

Professional Boxing

Ali Spinks Tyson foreman Frasier and now Freight Train

Now and forever people will remember that name.

Freight Train defends his title against

Lonely Tears And Chandeliers

19 Friday Jun 2015

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This is a story about a Southern belle named Savannah

Mae Huxtable

Who lives on a ranch outside Fort Worth Texas

She wears designer clothes and drives a shiny

new Lexus

Savannah Mae and her husband Billy Bob live at

her Grandpappys old family mansion

With eight bathrooms five bathrooms and ten staff

at her beck and call

It is no wonder that Savannah Mae feels like the  best

belle at the ball

But Savannah Mae is feeling so Goddamn lonely

Billy Bob is always with his wheeling and dealing

He hasn’t got a clue how Savannah Mae is feeling

When Savannah Mae is feeling a little down

She goes to her favourite part of the house

The huge entrance foyer

The walls are full of priceless originals

The room is full of classic sculptors

But her favourite is the Italian chandelier that hangs

from the ceiling

It seems to know how she is feeling

Savannah Mae sits on the palatial stairs

And watches that chandelier gleam

She just sits there and dreams her dream

One lonely tear slides down her face

Her dream is to be in a happy place

The chandelier senses her mood

Savannah Mae looks at that chandelier like she

is hypnotised

And slowly that tear drop dries

Billy Bob arrives home around midnight

Savannah Mae pretends to be asleep

But she cant resist having a little peep

Billy Bob is hiding something in the dressing table

drawer

Savannah Mae closes her eyes and dreams her

dream once more

About an hour later Savannah Mae is awoken by

movement in the bed

Billy Bob is lying beside her she smells a strange scent

in the air

It is coming from Billy Bob it is all through his hair

So Billy Bob is having an affair

Savannah Mae has suspected for a while now

All of his strange moods

Staying at work till late at night

But Savannah Mae wont give up her marriage

without a fight

Savannah Mae is distraught it is just as she thought

Billy Bob has taken her for a fool

If Billy Bob can have some southern comfort

Then so can she

She will find herself some bad company

Her bad company comes in the shape of ranch manager

Randy Axelrod

No words are exchanged just a simple nod

Savannah Mae is taken bent over the kitchen table

With no foreplay or even a kiss she is not ready

So the sex is painful and completely degrading

To Randy she is just a piece of meat

She drives home dripping blood onto the drivers seat

Arriving home she has a shower to wash away the shame

She hangs her head in remorse

But you cant turn back time of course

She sits on the stairs weeping some lonely tears

Staring up at that chandelier thinking about what she

has done

Thinking about what she has become

She goes up to her bedroom and tries to open the dressing

table but it is locked

What has Billy Bob hidden in there/

A gun condoms her his piece on the side

Savannahs Mae mind is going around and around

She has tried her best to be a good loving wife

So why is Billy Bob fooling around?

Savannah Mae is in the need of some more southern

comfort

This time it comes in the shape of a bottle of Scotch

Sitting on the stairs the lonely tears are flowing

And the chandelier is glowing

After about six glasses of the single Malt

She comes to the conclusion that everything is her fault

The chandelier whispers in her ear

Savannah Mae your time is here

Savannah Mae goes to her bed with the Scotch and a

bottle of pills

And one by one she swallows the lot

She closes her eyes and just slips away

She will never again she a Sunrise

Unless Billy Bob can save the day?

Billy Bob arrives home to find his wife comatose on the bed

An empty bottle of Scotch and pills by her head

He calls 911 and the paramedics arrive just in time

It is touch and go but they think that Savannah Mae will

be just fine

A few days later she gets home from the hospital

Frail but glad to be home

But what is in the dresser drawer?

She confronts Billy Bob about his affair and the locked

drawer

Billy Bob goes to the dresser and unlocks the drawer

And pulls out two tickets to London

A surprise for their tenth wedding anniversary

Savannah Mae doesn’t know what to say

How could she be so dumb?

She has let her emotions take over and then some

Billy Bob gets down on one knee and tells Savannah Mae

that ‘You are the only one for me forever and ever our hearts are

entwined until the end of time’

Savannah Mae and Billy Bob are now in a London suite renewing

their vows

They barely leave the room

Who needs Big Ben Buckingham Palace the Eye and the London

Tower

Cause we all know that love has the power

Back at home the chandelier whispers to an empty room

‘What about the smell of perfume?”

But that is another story

Captain Crunch

14 Sunday Jun 2015

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I live in the Northern Territory on the edge of Kakadu

National Park.

Where the Aboriginals paint their dot art on Coolabar

bark

My home is a mobile one I call it ‘The Shack’

It is the most run down piece of crap in the whole

Outback.

But I call it home and it has been for fifty years or

more

I have nothing worth stealing so I don’t even bother

to lock my door.

My most prized possession lives around the back

In a fenced off Lagoon a little ways down the track

I am talking about my pet Crocodile that I have named

Captain Crunch

Crunch is the sound that you hear when he bites on some

bones

or cracks open a skull

Captain Crunch is many things but he is never dull

Captain Crunch loves his lunch and he is never late

for dinner

He is partial to a midnight snack

If Captain Crunch had his way he would eat 24 hours

a day

I have owned Captain Crunch for forty years since I was ten

years of age

Now he is Five metres long and full of rage

I walk down the track to where Captain Crunch is waiting

for his meal

Everyone loves their dinner I know just how he feels

His meal today is Kangaroo road kill

Captain Crunch comes rushing out of the water like a

locomotive speeding down a hill

Wham and the Roo is ripped apart in a death spin

In just three bites he swallows down his din din

By the way my name is Arthur ‘Mongrel’ McKnight

I have a patch over my left eye courtesy of a pub fight

I love living in the Territory with its long Red sunsets

Watching the fishermen cast out their fishing nets

But it is now the start of the wet season

Things are going to get wet which stands to reason

I lay in my bed listening to the rain hit my tin roof

Shit I forgot to close the front window I feel like a

bit of a goof

Christ it is really coming down it is raining Cats and Dogs

Good weather for Ducks and little Green Frogs

In the  morning I wake up and my mobile home is floating

I really do need a Coffee before I go boating

But there is no time to put the kettle on as the landscape

flashes past

I really wish that my mobile home had a sail and a freaking

mast

It is a short trip as I crash into the river bank just before my

home sank

I guess it is god that I really should thank

I inspect the damage and everything looks good

touch wood

What the weather couldn’t do a Crocodile could

Captain Crunch has escaped he is on the loose

Just like the proverbial going through a Goose

Just what the Territory needs a rouge Croc in the

waterways

Just like Steve Irwin and the barb from a Stingray

A deadly combination of bad luck and being in the

wrong place at the wrong time

Like needing a Quarter but all you have is a Dime

A few days later a tourist goes missing just a mile

from my home

All they found was some car keys and a mobile phone

I guess that Captain Crunch has had a snack

That tourist is never coming back

I walk up and down the river bank calling out Captain

Crunches name

I called out for a week but he never came

Then a notice a local boy swimming from one side to the

other

He is trying to reach the safety of his Mother

Then he starts to struggle and I think that he is going to drown

Then I hear an eerie splashing sound

Captain Crunch is heading the boys way like a torpedo

Before I know it I have stripped down to my Speedos

But before I can jump in Captain Crunch has the boy in his jaws

I expect to hear a crunching sound and see some blood and gore

But all Captain Crunch does is carry the boy to the river bank

And then he spits him out onto the dirt

The boy runs away he isn’t even hurt

So Captain Crunch has a soft side who would have thought

that was possible

A Crocodile has just done the impossible

He has just saved a life instead of ending one

Captain Crunch swims past me with a glint in his eye

Jesus did he just give me a wink?

A soft sided Crocodile what will people think?

It turns out that the missing tourist has committed suicide

A note was found at her place

But no trace of her has ever been found

Another person who couldn’t live on the not so merry

go round

Captain Crunch is still out there somewhere

The King of the river the king of the creek

He is wary of the strong but will save the weak

So if you ever visit the Territory keep an eye out for Captain Crunch

But just be careful that he doesn’t have you for lunch

Afew days later

Solitary Confinement ( Losing My Mind )

09 Tuesday Jun 2015

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My name is Anthony “The Butcher” Ironside.

They call ‘The Butcher” because I am handy

with a knife.

I am currently serving a sentence of fifty years

to life

I was Twenty years old when I first discovered that

I liked to cut.

Whenever I went I carried a big sharp blade

If you get on my bad  side

You should be afraid very afraid

I guess I got a bit complacent I got a bit

sloppy

And the Cops caught me trying to kill victim

number ten

Now I am wearing an Orange jumpsuit in the

Big Pen

After a Ten year killing spree

I finally made the FBIs most wanted list

I sit in a cell at San Quentin

I have the locked away Prison Blues

I walk the walk in Prison issue Shoes

I was sent to Solitary Confinement for the first

time about after my arrival

When my cell mate tried to insert his cock between

my Butt cheeks

And I cut it off with my shank

Now he hasn’t got a monkey to spank

For that little over the top Circumcision

I got Thirty days in the hole

In there you lose the touch of your senses

You lose the sense of time

After my release I was sent to the general

population

And I was given a new cell mate

I told him that if he kept his pants on we

will get along fine

Just leave me alone to serve my time

About Six months later I was in the mess hall

having a meal of

Well I am not sure what it is

But I fork it on down

I think I just tasted a piece of meat

Then I look at the opposite seat

Sitting there is a guy of enormous proportions

And he is looking at my meal

He says that he wants a little taste

He is another fool that I have to waste

But then I decide to let him off easy

I will let him keep his life

But he will have to pay a price

His name is Cake and I want to have a slice

I ask him does he want to lose an ear or an eye

He looks at me like I am some crazy mixed up guy

But then I strike and I bite off his right ear

He lets out a scream

And his eyes that I spared are filled with tears

His ear I spit out on the floor

And I am sent to Solitary once more

For sixty days this time

After about Ten days I start to talk to myself

And then someone talks back

The voice in my head is speaking out loud

One voice in a one person crowd

If I spread my arms I can touch the opposite

wall

In my sac my balls start to crawl

It is creepy it is scary  I cant see two feet in front

of my face

I walk back and forth

Short pace short pace short pace

On day thirty I think I am a Bat living in

a cave

My mind goes to a bad place

And starts to misbehave

On day Fifty I am seeing Spiders and Snakes

crawling on the ceiling

My emotional paint is peeling

My mind is warped my Brain has cracked

My wellbeing knows there is no coming back

Day Sixty arrives and the Guard opens the

Solitary confinement door

My Feet are moving but they don’t touch the floor

I am carried out on a Gurney

My functions are barely functioning

What presents did Santa Claus bring?

I have missed Christmas and the start of the new year

But the thing that I miss the most is my freedom

I am out of Solitary but I am still confined

I think that a Zombie has crawled into my mind

One year has gone only Forty Nine more to go

I wander around the exercise yard like the

walking dead

That Zombie is whispering bad things deep

inside my head

I go to the laundry room where I have hidden

my trusty shank

I am going to kill somebody

And you can take that to the Bank

I know that if I take a life I will get the

Electric Chair

Nobody deserves to die but who said that

life was fair

I have already picked my target

A sadistic guard by the name of Hawkins

He is now a dead man walking

Returning to the exercise yard I sneak up

behind him and I slice through his Throat

He goes to the ground

I guess shit doesn’t float

I am now back in Solitary

Waiting for my execution day

My date with the chair

God my Lawyer want appeal will he?

He wouldn’t dare

Keep an Eye out for the next chapter

Solitary Confinement ( A Lonely Life)

like the walking dead

Spank The Monkey

04 Thursday Jun 2015

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Spank the Monkey is swinging in the trees

Just fooling around eating some leaves

He is getting kind of nervous

Tomorrow is his first day at School

He hopes that he doesn’t do anything stupid

And act the fool

The next morning his Father yells out’Spank

get yourself out of bed and stop playing with

your little head’

Spank doesn’t know what his Daddy means

But he jumps out of bed full of Beans

Twenty minutes later Spank is on his way to

Kindergarten

The School Bus is full of Monkeys fooling

around and farting

The Monkey sitting next to him introduces himself

as Monkey number Thirteen.

Spank says ‘What kind of name is that? What was

your Mother thinking?

Spank says ‘My name is Spank the Monkey

Number Thirteen laughs out loud ‘you should

talk with a name like that what was your Father

drinking?

Again Spank doesn’t understand what is wrong

with his name?

Maybe number thirteen is just playing a game?

At his first class the Teacher asks the Monkeys to

say their names out loud

When it is Spanks turn he is a little apprehensive

he knows that he is shy and somewhat sensitive

But he stands up and proudly says ‘My name is

Spank the Monkey’

All the other male Monkeys laugh and move their

hands in a jerking motion

The Teacher jumps to her feet and yells out to

stop all the commotion.

Spank hangs his head he knows that the other

Monkeys are laughing at him so he runs out of

the room

Number Thirteen yells ‘Slow down Spank you don’t

want to cum to soon

Somehow Spank makes it through the day

At recess he stayed by himself while all the

other Monkeys went to play

Then he smiles cause after School he is going

to Maccas for a happy meal and a shake

Come on time hurry up for goodness sake

Spanks Mum picks him up outside the Schoolgate

About time to she is ten minutes late

On the way his Mum tells him that his Dad is

on his way

Spank just smiles he is so excited that he has

nothing to say

After ordering their food they take it to a corner

table

His first happy meal he tries to speak but he isn’t

able

Biting into his burger Spank bites a piece of

Pickle ‘Yuck’ and he throws it to the floor

His Mum yells ‘spank don’t jerk the Gherkin

or you will have an accident’

Spanks Dad Jack finally arrives his Mum says

Jack you late?

His Dad replies ‘No I am just happy to see you two’

Spank then tells his Mum that he has to Poo

She takes him to the little Boys room

And Spank does his crap

His Mum yells out ‘ Do you want me to wipe your

arse ‘

Spank think can you say it a little louder sometimes

Mum has no class

Arriving home Spank goes outside to play with his

friends

They still rib him about his name they ask ‘Have

you done it yet have you spanked the Monkey

Spank doesn’t understand how can you do your name?

Getting home just in time for Dinner Spank goes and

washes his hands

Tonight it Roast Chicken and Butterscotch Pudding

Dad starts to carve the Chicken but he doesn’t do a very

good job

Spanks Mum yells ‘Jack don’t Choke The Chicken

and watch out for bones

After the Chicken it is time for the Pudding

Spanks Dad goes to the Oven and pulls the rack

out too fast

Spanks mum yells ‘Jack don’t Pull The Pud just

take it easy

After eating Spanks goes and washes his hands

that Chicken was really greasy

Then it is time to do his chores today he has to go

around the House and wipe all the door knobs clean

Spanks Dad tells him ‘Remember Spank you have to rub

the knob really hard’

Spank is growing up fast and he is now a teenager

And something is happening downstairs

That big thing sticking out has caught him unawares

He puts his hand on it and his whole body tingles

This is a new sensation

This thing they call masturbation

Things begin to escalate quickly and Spank finds

himself in a sticky situation

Now he understands why he was teased about his

name

For that he has his Parents to blame

What were they thinking?

What were they drinking?

M