Spank the Monkey is swinging in the trees

Just fooling around eating some leaves

He is getting kind of nervous

Tomorrow is his first day at School

He hopes that he doesn’t do anything stupid

And act the fool

The next morning his Father yells out’Spank

get yourself out of bed and stop playing with

your little head’

Spank doesn’t know what his Daddy means

But he jumps out of bed full of Beans

Twenty minutes later Spank is on his way to


The School Bus is full of Monkeys fooling

around and farting

The Monkey sitting next to him introduces himself

as Monkey number Thirteen.

Spank says ‘What kind of name is that? What was

your Mother thinking?

Spank says ‘My name is Spank the Monkey

Number Thirteen laughs out loud ‘you should

talk with a name like that what was your Father


Again Spank doesn’t understand what is wrong

with his name?

Maybe number thirteen is just playing a game?

At his first class the Teacher asks the Monkeys to

say their names out loud

When it is Spanks turn he is a little apprehensive

he knows that he is shy and somewhat sensitive

But he stands up and proudly says ‘My name is

Spank the Monkey’

All the other male Monkeys laugh and move their

hands in a jerking motion

The Teacher jumps to her feet and yells out to

stop all the commotion.

Spank hangs his head he knows that the other

Monkeys are laughing at him so he runs out of

the room

Number Thirteen yells ‘Slow down Spank you don’t

want to cum to soon

Somehow Spank makes it through the day

At recess he stayed by himself while all the

other Monkeys went to play

Then he smiles cause after School he is going

to Maccas for a happy meal and a shake

Come on time hurry up for goodness sake

Spanks Mum picks him up outside the Schoolgate

About time to she is ten minutes late

On the way his Mum tells him that his Dad is

on his way

Spank just smiles he is so excited that he has

nothing to say

After ordering their food they take it to a corner


His first happy meal he tries to speak but he isn’t


Biting into his burger Spank bites a piece of

Pickle ‘Yuck’ and he throws it to the floor

His Mum yells ‘spank don’t jerk the Gherkin

or you will have an accident’

Spanks Dad Jack finally arrives his Mum says

Jack you late?

His Dad replies ‘No I am just happy to see you two’

Spank then tells his Mum that he has to Poo

She takes him to the little Boys room

And Spank does his crap

His Mum yells out ‘ Do you want me to wipe your

arse ‘

Spank think can you say it a little louder sometimes

Mum has no class

Arriving home Spank goes outside to play with his


They still rib him about his name they ask ‘Have

you done it yet have you spanked the Monkey

Spank doesn’t understand how can you do your name?

Getting home just in time for Dinner Spank goes and

washes his hands

Tonight it Roast Chicken and Butterscotch Pudding

Dad starts to carve the Chicken but he doesn’t do a very

good job

Spanks Mum yells ‘Jack don’t Choke The Chicken

and watch out for bones

After the Chicken it is time for the Pudding

Spanks Dad goes to the Oven and pulls the rack

out too fast

Spanks mum yells ‘Jack don’t Pull The Pud just

take it easy

After eating Spanks goes and washes his hands

that Chicken was really greasy

Then it is time to do his chores today he has to go

around the House and wipe all the door knobs clean

Spanks Dad tells him ‘Remember Spank you have to rub

the knob really hard’

Spank is growing up fast and he is now a teenager

And something is happening downstairs

That big thing sticking out has caught him unawares

He puts his hand on it and his whole body tingles

This is a new sensation

This thing they call masturbation

Things begin to escalate quickly and Spank finds

himself in a sticky situation

Now he understands why he was teased about his


For that he has his Parents to blame

What were they thinking?

What were they drinking?