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I was sitting at home pissed off at the world

And all the people who live in it

I am tired of being disrespected

Taking their shit taking the hit

I thought it is time to get some revenge

It is time to hit back

So I was drinking thinking thinking drinking

My Brain was going into overdrive

My revenge will crack the sky

I started to think about Ouija Boards Tarot Cards

and all sorts of Black Magic

Witches Goblins Dracula and all things on the

dark side

I want to hit them with everything that I have

One big freaking Magic trick

Then I remembered a story about a bridge where

you had to pay a toll

The money went to a nasty little Troll

But then I thought no I will make a Voodoo


I started with a foam ball for the head

I wrapped the ball with string

I stuck on two Buttons for the Eyes

A few Black stitches make the mouth

For the body I used a heat pack that I wrapped

in string

Then I got two Cricket stumps that I tied together

to form a cross

To the cross I attached the Head and Body

The stumps formed two arms and a Leg

I picked up the Voodoo Doll and I walked around

my lounge room

I had to give it a test run

I race to the Kitchen drawer and grab myself a Pin

I can hardly wait to stick it in

I think of a person who deserves the Voodoo Doll


My bully from School I will avenge

I don’t want to be cruel so I stick the pin in his Leg

It is a pity I cant hear him scream and beg

Just then the room is filled by a piercing scream

It feels like I am having a bad dream

A voice says ‘Ouch don’t do that again’

I look down to see my Voodoo Doll standing on

the Coffee Table

I try to form some words but I am not able

The Voodoo Doll says ‘My name is Victor I come

from Medieval times I come in many shapes and forms

Unicorn Goblin Werewolf Bigfoot and Troll’

‘I come to you in the shape of a Voodoo Doll

My Mouth is hanging open as that 30 cm tall piece of

foam and string continues to talk

‘I come from the time of King Arthur Merlin the Lady

In The Lake and Lancelot’

‘The time of myths and legends’

‘You have brought me here as a Voodoo Doll’

‘S you want me to perform  some sort of Voodoo’

‘Like I am a Voodoo Hoodoo Guru’

As I listen to Victor talk I feel my skin crawl

There is something about him that I don’t trust

Then the spit in my mouth turns to dust

Even though I don’t want to

I listen to him like I am in a trance

My Brain is numb my Heart has turned to stone

I am like a Dog who cant remember where he buried

his bone

Victor tells me that whenever I am in his presence he will

perform the duties of a Voodoo Doll

As long as I am prepared to pay the toll

Am I prepared ? Can I afford the price ?

I decide to take the risk and I tell Victor of a Bank

teller who was a little unfriendly

But I know that I have to tread carefully Victor is a little


I have to be like a mine shaft Canary very wary

Arriving at the bank I point out the Teller to Victor

He tells me he gets the picture

He says that when I stick the pin in him the Teller

will feel the pain

I go to stick the pin in but Victor moves at the last


He did it on purpose I reckon

So instead of the pin going in his thigh

It went in Victors left Eye

The Teller lets out an almighty scream

Her hands go straight to her face

Blood seeps through her fingers going all over the


What is happening ?

I cant believe my eyes

What if the Teller drops down and dies ?

I don’t want a Voodoo doll no more

Things are getting out of control

I want to go back to before

I don’t want a Voodoo Doll no more

Victor lets out a laugh and does a little jig

I scream at him ‘What the frig’

‘Nobody was supposed to get hurt that teller could go


Why are Voodoo Dolls so unkind?

But Victor couldn’t care less he is addicted to the pain

To him it is all just a laugh it is all just a game

I have had enough and I carry Victor home

But he doesn’t go easy it looks like the Dog has found

its bone

Victor needs to be dismantled and I place him in a vice

I start to undo the string I don’t even think twice

But then an evil wind blows into my shed

He carries a pitchfork and has horns on his head

I can feel the heat from the infernal fire

Things have gone from bad to worse they are looking

very dire

The air is sucked from the room as the intruder starts to speak

Let me introduce myself in case do didn’t know,I am the Evil  one

Lucifer Satan The Devil I go by many names’

He looks at me with the Demon eye and says’You should know

that if you play with fire you will get burnt’

I can feel my hair singe my skin starts to blister and peel

The pain starts to feel very real

Just then Victor speaks up and I like what he has to say

‘Come on Master give the guy a break’

‘He didn’t know that a bit of fun could turn into a whole lot

of hurt’

‘So let him go and you can win some brownie points from

the people’

Before the Devil can reply I shout out ‘Yeah Mr Devil please

let me go’

‘But before you go can you do me a favour?’

‘Come over here and kiss my lily white arse and then get the

fuck out of here’

The Devil is steaming his eyes start to bulge

I think ‘Jesus me and my mouth maybe I said a little to much’

‘Maybe I have lost my magic touch’

The Devil lets out a thunderous demonic laugh and stares me

right in the Eye

He picks up his pitchfork and he gives my chest a poke

And then he and Victor disappear in a puff of smoke.


I thinl