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I went grocery shopping a little while back
Filling my trolley with Milk Bread and all the items
on my list
When I came across a Beanie sitting all lonesome
on a shelf
I had to have it
It was calling my name
The Beanie is Black Blue and White with an Orange trim
It isn’t a Hat so it hasn’t got a brim
Arriving home I pack away my shopping and make myself
a Coffee
I sit admiring my new purchase my sic new action Beanie
I place it on my Head and straightaway I feel like Bruce
Willis in ‘Die Hard’ Travolta in ‘Pulp Fiction’ or Arnie in
‘Terminator 2’
I have a new found swagger
I walk the streets like I own them
My six pack is pronounced my presence is announced
All because of my sic new cool Action Beanie
Outside my window I hear a cry for help
I race outside and my neighbour is pointing up a Tree
I see a Cat sitting on a branch about twenty feet up
I take off my Action Beanie and I hold it out like a safety
blanket
And I yell to the Cat ‘Jump’ It lets out a hiss and says a wish
and then it is airborne
It lands in the blankie and the owner says ‘Why thank ye’
I just made my first rescue
All because of my sic new cool trend setting Action Beanie
Just then I see a little old lady trying to cross the road
I rush over and grab her by the arm and try to lead her across
But she yells at me and says ‘Get your hands off me you little
Weenie’
I feel my face turning Red in my sic new cool trend setting trail
blazing Action Beanie
Enough with the Red faces I am a man of adventure
Superman wouldn’t blush Ironman wouldn’t rust Spiderman
wouldn’t get caught in his own web
Batman wouldn’t run back to his cave
Enough of this negative shit I have people to save
Driving to work one morning I have to stop for some Petrol
After filling I go to pay the Attendant when I notice a commotion
inside
Some freak on Ice wants a free ride
I have no time for free loaders they really get on my Goat
So I steady myself and deliver a Bruce Lee kick to his throat
Well the Ice mans eyes bulge out and down he goes
I am feeling proud of myself in my sic new cool trend setting
trail blazing shit kicking Action Beanie
Being a trainee Super Hero can be rather tiring
My Brain is numb it needs some rewiring
Maybe I need a brand new shiny cape
Just then I hear someone shout ‘Rape’
I think the shout is coming from across the street
I race over to see a Girl naked being molested by a small
dicked intruder
I have to move fast before the situation gets any ruder
With a kick to the gonads the perp is on the ground
The victim is in shock but she is starting to come around
The Police are on the way another thug is off the streets
All thanks to my sic new cool trend setting trail blazing shit
kicking arresting Action Beanie
There is never a dull moment about a week later I am at my local
Bank
Just standing in line when a Balaclava wearing bandit enters with
a Gun in his hand
People start to scream and panic
The bandit tells everybody to lie on the ground
I am laying there thinking my Heart is sinking
But then I think of a plan to bring down Mr Criminal Man
He is standing there about ten feet away
I take off my Beanie and I throw it like a Frisbee
And the Gun is knocked from his Fingers
It is not over yet the smell of fear still lingers
We both go for the Gun at the same time but it is justout
of reach
We struggle for a little while but then I start to smile
I can feel the fight going out of him
I thrust a Knee up between his legs
His Eggs are scrambled and he vomits up his lunch
To my Action Beanie I say thanks a bunch
Down goes another big bad Mr Meanie
All because of my sic new cool trend setting trail blazing
shit kicking arresting ball breaking Action Beanie
Just then I detect a smell of smoke a House is on Fire
I better be quick things are going down to the wire
I arrive at the scene to be met by a wall of flames
A Lady runs up to me and says ‘Hurry Action Beanie Man
my Son was playing with Matches he is the one to blame
But he didn’t mean it he was just playing a game’
Action Beanie Man I like the sound of that
But now isn’t the time for any self satisfaction
It is the time for my Beanie to spring into action
I am broken out of my trance the Lady is screaming that
her Son has gone back inside to rescue his Kittens
Maybe when this situation is extinguished I will buy my Beanie
some matching Mittens
But once again I digress and I spring into Super Hero mode
My Shoulders struggle under this heavy load
But I am a trainee Super Hero and in my Beanie I trust
It is now or never or bust
I throw my Beanie into the air and it expands into a giant Fire
soaking sponge and the Fire is doused
But the family will have to build a new house
The Son and the Kittens are soaking but they are alive another happy
ending
All because of my sic new cool trend setting trail blazing shit kicking arresting
ball breaking fire dousing Action Beanie
So if you need some help with a situation
Any job big or small or anything inbetweenie
Just call 1800 Action Beanie.
THE END.
Thank you for reading one of my stories and if you have the means could you please make a donation so i can achieve my goal of becoming a fulltime writer. Thanks again Steven.