I went grocery shopping a little while back

Filling my trolley with Milk Bread  and all the items

on my list

When I came across a Beanie sitting all lonesome

on a shelf

I had to have it

It was calling my name

The Beanie is Black Blue and White with an Orange trim

It isn’t a Hat so it hasn’t got a brim

Arriving home I pack away my shopping and make myself

a Coffee

I sit admiring my new purchase my sic new action Beanie

I place it on my Head and straightaway I feel like Bruce

Willis in ‘Die Hard’ Travolta in ‘Pulp Fiction’ or Arnie in

‘Terminator 2’

I have a new found swagger

I walk the streets like I own them

My six pack is pronounced my presence is announced

All because of my sic new cool Action Beanie

Outside my window I hear a cry for help

I race outside and my neighbour is pointing up a Tree

I see a Cat sitting on a branch about twenty feet up

I take off my Action Beanie and I hold it out like a safety

blanket

And I yell to the Cat ‘Jump’ It lets out a hiss and says a wish

and then it is airborne

It lands in the blankie and the owner says ‘Why thank ye’

I just made my first rescue

All because of my sic new cool trend setting Action Beanie

Just then I see a little old lady trying to cross the road

I rush over and grab her by the arm and try to lead her across

But she yells at me and says ‘Get your hands off me you little

Weenie’

I feel my face turning Red in my sic new cool trend setting trail

blazing Action Beanie

Enough with the Red faces I am a man of adventure

Superman wouldn’t blush Ironman wouldn’t rust Spiderman

wouldn’t get caught in his own web

Batman wouldn’t run back to his cave

Enough of this negative shit I have people to save

Driving to work one morning I have to stop for some Petrol

After filling I go to pay the Attendant when I notice a commotion

inside

Some freak on Ice wants a free ride

I have no time for free loaders they really get on my Goat

So I steady myself and deliver a Bruce Lee kick to his throat

Well the Ice mans eyes bulge out and down he goes

I am feeling proud of myself in my sic new cool trend setting

trail blazing shit kicking Action Beanie

Being a trainee Super Hero can be rather tiring

My Brain is numb it needs some rewiring

Maybe I need a brand new shiny cape

Just then I hear someone shout ‘Rape’

I think the shout is coming from across the street

I race over to see a Girl naked being molested by a small

dicked intruder

I have to move fast before the situation gets any ruder

With a kick to the gonads the perp is on the ground

The victim is in shock but she is starting to come around

The Police are on the way another thug is off the streets

All thanks to my sic new cool trend setting trail blazing shit

kicking arresting Action Beanie

There is never a dull moment about a week later I am at my local

Bank

Just standing in line when a Balaclava wearing bandit enters with

a Gun in his hand

People start to scream and panic

The bandit tells everybody to lie on the ground

I am laying there thinking my Heart is sinking

But then I think of a plan to bring down Mr Criminal Man

He is standing there about ten feet away

I take off my Beanie and I throw it like a Frisbee

And the Gun is knocked from his Fingers

It is not over yet the smell of fear still lingers

We both go for the Gun at the same time but it is justout

of reach

We struggle for a little while but then I start to smile

I can feel the fight going out of him

I thrust a Knee up between his legs

His Eggs are scrambled and he vomits up his lunch

To my Action Beanie I say thanks a bunch

Down goes another big bad Mr Meanie

All because of my sic new cool trend setting trail blazing

shit kicking arresting ball breaking Action Beanie

Just then I detect a smell of smoke a House is on Fire

I better be quick things are going down to the wire

I arrive at the scene to be met by a wall of flames

A Lady runs up to me and says ‘Hurry Action Beanie Man

my Son was playing with Matches he is the one to blame

But he didn’t mean it he was just playing a game’

Action Beanie Man I like the sound of that

But now isn’t the time for any self satisfaction

It is the time for my Beanie to spring into action

I am broken out of my trance the  Lady is screaming that

her Son has gone back inside to rescue his Kittens

Maybe when this situation is extinguished I will buy my Beanie

some matching Mittens

But once again I digress and I spring into Super Hero mode

My Shoulders struggle under this heavy load

But I am  a trainee Super Hero and in my Beanie I trust

It is now or never or bust

I throw my Beanie into the air and it expands into a giant Fire

soaking sponge and the Fire is doused

But the family will have to build a new house

The Son and the Kittens are soaking but they are alive another happy

ending

All because of my sic new cool trend setting trail blazing shit kicking arresting

ball breaking fire dousing Action Beanie

So if you need some help with a situation

Any job big or small or anything inbetweenie

Just call 1800 Action Beanie