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Last tear a few friends and I went on a trip to Alaska

We wanted to escape the rat race live in the

wilderness and get in touch with nature.

But we got a touch too close.

Arriving in  Anchorage after a twenty six hour flight

from Sydney.

We were a bit jet lagged but looking forward to our adventure.

We rested up at Anchorage for a few days to acclimatise and

find our land legs

Then we chartered a single engine plane to fly to the back of beyond

Our plan was to be dropped off in the middle of nowhere for Seven days

With nothing but the clothes we were wearing plus some camping fishing

and hunting gear.

Our Pilot a local Innuit named Sammy Whaletooth circled around a few

times before the conditions were safe for a landing

I have to admit I am not fond of flying especially in a single engine craft

But our Pilot came in nice and steady

And the landing was as smooth as a Babies butt

We unloaded our gear and Sammy handed me a Satellite phone

to use in case of an emergency

Sammy gave us the Co ordinates  and said that he would meet us

back here in Seven days at 10.00 am

After thanking Sammy and waving goodbye the four of us stood there

for a minute

Realising that we were on our own in a Foreign Country for a week

I felt excited and scared at the same time.

But before I go any further let me introduce my three friends

Allan Anderson Graham Sharp friends of many years

And my on again off again Girlfriend Mitzy Freemont

After setting up our tents and making a fire we had some Lunch

and then we went exploring

Hoping to catch some Fish we took our Rods and a Rifle just in case

We came upon a Creek about a Mile from camp

Hopefully we can catch a shitload of Salmon

After fishing for about an hour we have caught a dozen Salmon

But you can only eat so much Fish I am hoping to bring down a Stag

Just then a little Bear cub comes running up to us

Jesus shit when there is a Bear cub you can bet your nuts that Mama Bear

isn’t far behind

I tell the others to back away and not to go near the cub

I get my Rifle ready and we start to back away

Then came a Blood curdling scream bounces off the Mountain

And fills the air with hate

Mama Bear is racing towards us she is only twenty feet away

I raise the Rifle and take aim and hope for the best

I did hit Mama Bear but only a flesh wound in her front left paw

But it was enough to stop her charge

And with one last menacing look she limped off after her Cub

The Four of us raced back to camp as fast as our Legs would go

We packed up our equipment and started to hike North

Our plan was to put some distance between us and the Grizzley Bears

We hiked for about two hours and we started to calm down a bit

We came upon a small Lake and thought that it would be a good spot

to set up

We pitched our tents and started a fire and Allan a I went hunting for Meat

Luckily for us a group of Dear were nearby

I took aim pulled the trigger and down went a small Deer

Meanwhile 15 miles away a Mama Grizzley Bears Ear pricks up at

the sound of the gunshot

She remembers that sound  she looks down at the nasty wound

in her paw

She has only one thing on her mind and that is revenge

Back at camp the four of us are eating roast Venison

We are feeling relaxed laughing and telling stories

At around Midnight everybody agrees that it is time to hit the sack

Allan goes to his tent Graham to his and Mitzy and I adjourn to our

tent of lust

Mama Grizzley can smell the cooked meat

And there is another smell the smell of Humans

The wound in her paw has turned septic and the infection is flowing

in her Blood heading to her Brain

Mitzy is feeling frisky and soon our loins are joined in a loving union

We were just about to reach Utopia when a loud roar filled the air

I pull on my underpants and race outside and by the light of the Moon

I can see Allan being dragged away by a Grizzley Bear

The Bear has Allans Head in its Jaws and with a crunch Allan is dead

We stand there stunned as the Grizzley Bear starts to feed

She just eats the choice bits and then leaves the rest for the Wolves

I grab the rifle from the tent Graham is hysterical and Mitzy is trembling

Then I remember the Satellite phone in my backback

I can hardly dial the number my fingers are numb

Come on Sammy pick up anybody pick up the phone

Christ you would think we were at the North Pole

Oh that’s right we are

Sammy finally picks up and I explain the situation and Sammy tells me

to go to the pick up point

And he will get there as fast as he can

Mama Grizzleys Brain is festering she is drooling from the mouth

But she can still smell that smell

Her Cub want be safe until that smell is gone

I smell a smell rotting Meat the smell of decay the smell of death

I cant believe my eyes as I see the Grizzley charge and it is limping

Don’t tell me that it is the same Bear that I shot?

She sure does hold a grudge it was only a misunderstanding

Graham just stands there as the Grizzley rips off his face

His body doesn’t seem to understand that it is dead

Then he falls to the ground

Then the Grizzley stands on her hind legs she stands Ten feet tall

With claws five inchs long with Teeth good for shredding and tearing

I am shitting Mitzy is peeing we don’t know what to do

Me and Grizz make eye contact and she knows that I am the man with the Gun

Before I know it she has clawed my Face the blood gets in my Eyes

I go to the ground

I feel the weight of the Bear upon me

Its breath smells like a broken sewer pipe that has been out in the Sun for a week

I say a prayer I say goodbye

I wait for the pain I wait for the end

But nothing happens

Then I realise that the weight is a dead weight

Mama Grizzley is dead

I wriggle out from under all that fur

And then I see Mitzy laying on the ground

She isn’t moving she isn’t breathing

Then I notice all the blood coming from between her legs

The Bear must have Clawed her Femerol Artery

I wrap a shirt around my head to hold it together And then I start to head south

Don’t think that I am cold hearted but there is nothing I can do for my friends

and lover

I can hardly see where I am going but I just close my mind and walk

I walk I cry I walk I cry

I am on my last legs when I finally reach the pick up point

I sit down and wait for Sammy

I hang my Head and think about the last few days

About an hour later it is not Sammy who has come to the rescue

but the Police in a Helicopter

But the first person to disembark is Sammy along with an Inspector

Morrell of the Alaskan Police

I am instructed to board the Helicopter and to point it in the right direction

The carnage is clear to see from the air and the Helicopter lands nearby

Soon Inspector Morrell that he is heading back to Anchorage and that I will

accompany him

I take one final look at the killing field

The adventure of a lifetime has turned into the adventure from hell

A week later the Qantas flight touches down in Sydney

Allan Graham Mitzy and I went to the other side of the world

And only I came back alive

I watch as the body bags are loaded on to the Hearses

And with a final salute

I say goodbye to my friends