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I was about Eight years old when I realised that my Eyebrows

were a pair of deceivers

Every time that I told a fib that would give the game away

They would just sit up and kind of sway

The first time I noticed was when I was in the kitchen raiding

the cookie jar

When I heard the door slam on my Mothers Car

I tried to act all innocent and I gave her my angel smile

I saw her eyes go to the cookie jar on the bench top

And I felt my Eyebrows give a jump skip and a hop

My Mother gave me a funny look and then she started to

leave the room

Phew I let out a sigh of relief as I swallow the last little crumb

I just got a sneaky one past my Mum

Then my Mother turned around and with a smirk she told ‘Steven

you forgot to put the lid back on the cookie jar’

‘And what is the go with the Eyebrows Anyhows’

Even though I didn’t actually tell a lie

My Eyebrows still couldn’t keep a secret

I go into the Bathroom and have a look in the Mirror

Maybe I can Supa Glue my Eyebrows to keep them in place

Maybe sew them together to hold them down

Maybe shave them off and look like a Buddist Monk

Maybe apply some Gel and fill my Eyebrows with gunk

At my first day at High School I told the Maths Teacher

that I was good at Addition

I told the Science Teacher that I was good at Chemistry

The English Teacher that I could read a full length novel

And I told the Gym Teacher I was good at all sports

Which is a lie of sorts

I could do some of these things

But most of them I couldn’t

I told a lie even though I knew I shouldn’t

My Eyebrows are stunned at my constant lying

They try to sit still but they are tired of trying

At Fifteen I had sex for the first time

But I told the girl that I had done it about ten times before

She says ‘If that is the case how come you performed like a Virgin’

I told her that I didn’t want to show off and use up all of my moves

God I have to stop lying I can feel my Eyebrows twitching

Lucky it is dark and she cant see my face

It is red all because I tried to big note myself

I go to my first job interview

I told a few lies on my resume

So I made a few things up no one will ever know

The Interviewer asks me questions about my experience

and qualifications

He cant understand how I can how five years experience

when I am only Seventeen years of age

I guess I didn’t think that one through

Something went wrong with my equations

I started to stutter and stammer

My Eyebrows were cartwheeling

I f only you knew how I was feeling

The interviewer knew that I had been a bit liberal on my

resume

And he just pointed at the door and said ‘Don’t come back

here no more;

I actually thought about naming my Eyebrows

Bill and Ben Abbott and Costello  Penn and Teller are a few

that come to mind

A reliable pair of Eyebrows are so hard to find

At my engagement party my girlfriend asked me if she was

my one true love

I look at her in the Eye and I whisper sweet nothings in her Ear

I keep her nice and close  so she cant see my Eyebrows jumping

But not to close or she will feel my Heart thumping

She has been my one and only Girlfriend

Maybe it is time that I saw someone else

Maybe I should listen to my inner self

And leave my Girlfriend sitting on the shelf

But once again I lie to my girlfriend and I tell her that

she is still the one for me

But my Eyebrows cant control themselves

And they start to move like two Caterpillars on heat

But then I tell my Girlfriend maybe we should start to see

other people

Just to see with we can breathe without each other

Well I am breathing okay I don’t need an Oxygen tank

I have more money to put in the Bank

I can finish a sentence without been told what to say

Who needs a Girlfriend anyway?

My Eyebrows start to move like two little Mice that have drunk

a gallon of red cordial

They are hyper from all the artificial colours and flavours

I am sorry for all of my lying misbehavers

Well anyway a year has gone past and my Girlfriend and I have

got back together

We have out lasted all of the lies and stormy weather

I know she is the one cause our Hearts beat as one

Her body heat feels better then the heat from the Sun

Our Wedding day has arrived and I am nervous but excited

at the same time

I am sure that I am doing the right thing but only time will tell

My Sweetheart looks sexy in her white Wedding dress

My Eyebrows start to tremble under all of the stress

Good God not now fellas

Just stand at ease please please please

The Priest starts off by greeting all of the guests

Then he begins to read the vows

I wonder if the room can feel the tension coming from my brows

Then it is time to say the I do’s

The guests are getting nervous and start to wriggle in the pews

My wife to be says the magic words I Do

And then it is my turn

But my mouth is dryer then ashes in an urn

I try to say the words but my Brain has shut down

My Sweetheart runs out of the Church tearing off her Wedding

gown

As you can guess I am now lonely and single

Maybe it is time to get out and mingle

There is no need to Supa Glue my Eyebrows to keep them in

place

Or sew them together to hold them down

I will not shave them off to look like a Buddist Monk

Nor use Hair Gel to fill them up with gunk

My Eyebrows are now doing just fine

They do what they are supposed to do

They shade my Eyes

So I get a better view

The reason that my Eyebrows are doing well

Is because a lie I will not tell

So just tell the truth and your Eyebrows will stay in place

And that will surely bring a smile to your face