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I was about Eight years old when I realised that my Eyebrows
were a pair of deceivers
Every time that I told a fib that would give the game away
They would just sit up and kind of sway
The first time I noticed was when I was in the kitchen raiding
the cookie jar
When I heard the door slam on my Mothers Car
I tried to act all innocent and I gave her my angel smile
I saw her eyes go to the cookie jar on the bench top
And I felt my Eyebrows give a jump skip and a hop
My Mother gave me a funny look and then she started to
leave the room
Phew I let out a sigh of relief as I swallow the last little crumb
I just got a sneaky one past my Mum
Then my Mother turned around and with a smirk she told ‘Steven
you forgot to put the lid back on the cookie jar’
‘And what is the go with the Eyebrows Anyhows’
Even though I didn’t actually tell a lie
My Eyebrows still couldn’t keep a secret
I go into the Bathroom and have a look in the Mirror
Maybe I can Supa Glue my Eyebrows to keep them in place
Maybe sew them together to hold them down
Maybe shave them off and look like a Buddist Monk
Maybe apply some Gel and fill my Eyebrows with gunk
At my first day at High School I told the Maths Teacher
that I was good at Addition
I told the Science Teacher that I was good at Chemistry
The English Teacher that I could read a full length novel
And I told the Gym Teacher I was good at all sports
Which is a lie of sorts
I could do some of these things
But most of them I couldn’t
I told a lie even though I knew I shouldn’t
My Eyebrows are stunned at my constant lying
They try to sit still but they are tired of trying
At Fifteen I had sex for the first time
But I told the girl that I had done it about ten times before
She says ‘If that is the case how come you performed like a Virgin’
I told her that I didn’t want to show off and use up all of my moves
God I have to stop lying I can feel my Eyebrows twitching
Lucky it is dark and she cant see my face
It is red all because I tried to big note myself
I go to my first job interview
I told a few lies on my resume
So I made a few things up no one will ever know
The Interviewer asks me questions about my experience
and qualifications
He cant understand how I can how five years experience
when I am only Seventeen years of age
I guess I didn’t think that one through
Something went wrong with my equations
I started to stutter and stammer
My Eyebrows were cartwheeling
I f only you knew how I was feeling
The interviewer knew that I had been a bit liberal on my
resume
And he just pointed at the door and said ‘Don’t come back
here no more;
I actually thought about naming my Eyebrows
Bill and Ben Abbott and Costello Penn and Teller are a few
that come to mind
A reliable pair of Eyebrows are so hard to find
At my engagement party my girlfriend asked me if she was
my one true love
I look at her in the Eye and I whisper sweet nothings in her Ear
I keep her nice and close so she cant see my Eyebrows jumping
But not to close or she will feel my Heart thumping
She has been my one and only Girlfriend
Maybe it is time that I saw someone else
Maybe I should listen to my inner self
And leave my Girlfriend sitting on the shelf
But once again I lie to my girlfriend and I tell her that
she is still the one for me
But my Eyebrows cant control themselves
And they start to move like two Caterpillars on heat
But then I tell my Girlfriend maybe we should start to see
other people
Just to see with we can breathe without each other
Well I am breathing okay I don’t need an Oxygen tank
I have more money to put in the Bank
I can finish a sentence without been told what to say
Who needs a Girlfriend anyway?
My Eyebrows start to move like two little Mice that have drunk
a gallon of red cordial
They are hyper from all the artificial colours and flavours
I am sorry for all of my lying misbehavers
Well anyway a year has gone past and my Girlfriend and I have
got back together
We have out lasted all of the lies and stormy weather
I know she is the one cause our Hearts beat as one
Her body heat feels better then the heat from the Sun
Our Wedding day has arrived and I am nervous but excited
at the same time
I am sure that I am doing the right thing but only time will tell
My Sweetheart looks sexy in her white Wedding dress
My Eyebrows start to tremble under all of the stress
Good God not now fellas
Just stand at ease please please please
The Priest starts off by greeting all of the guests
Then he begins to read the vows
I wonder if the room can feel the tension coming from my brows
Then it is time to say the I do’s
The guests are getting nervous and start to wriggle in the pews
My wife to be says the magic words I Do
And then it is my turn
But my mouth is dryer then ashes in an urn
I try to say the words but my Brain has shut down
My Sweetheart runs out of the Church tearing off her Wedding
gown
As you can guess I am now lonely and single
Maybe it is time to get out and mingle
There is no need to Supa Glue my Eyebrows to keep them in
place
Or sew them together to hold them down
I will not shave them off to look like a Buddist Monk
Nor use Hair Gel to fill them up with gunk
My Eyebrows are now doing just fine
They do what they are supposed to do
They shade my Eyes
So I get a better view
The reason that my Eyebrows are doing well
Is because a lie I will not tell
So just tell the truth and your Eyebrows will stay in place
And that will surely bring a smile to your face