Monthly Archives: October 2015

The Pterodactyl The Mouse And The Dinosaurs

31 Saturday Oct 2015

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150 Million years ago lived the Dinosaurs a species of giant

Reptiles

One of those Dinosaurs was the Pterodactyl

The only flying Reptile that ever was

In a forest in what is now known as Batavia Germany lived

a family of Pterodactyls

They high up on the edge of a live Volcano

Flying with the thermal currents and with a wing span of a

giant Albatross

Up in the sky the Pterodactyl was boss

In a nest the size of a Basketball court lives a chick only a few

days out of the Egg

He is named Terry the Pterodactyl

Tezz for short

He is totally reliant on his parents for food and water

Tezz is an only child there isn’t enough food for another son

or daughter

The Earth is still forming the Mountains are pushing up from

the Plateaus

The Rivers are finding the right course for them to flow

All the Animals are starting their Evolution

As the Earth does another Revolution

The family of Pterodactyls fly across the changing Horizon

He sees the new forest of Fig and Pine Trees

He sees the infant Rivers filling up with Turtles and Fish

He looks up at that giant yellow ball floating up above

It heats up his wings before he takes flight

Just gliding taking in the sights

But the one thing that Terry the Pterodactyl notices is the

giant Reptiles on the ground

His Father tells him that they are called Dinosaurs

And that besides being big they are also nasty and mean

And from the smell that is coming from the ground they

are also not exactly clean

To a young Pterodactyl that is an open invitation to cause

some mayhem

So he flies back to the nest and picks up a giant bone with

his elongated Beak

Then he flies back to where the Dinosaurs are feeding on some

grass

Then he drops the Bone and it puts a Brontosauras on its arse

Well the Brontosauras isn’t impressed with the young Pterodactyl

stepping out of line

So he gets in the Ear of a Tyrannosauras Rex to take care of this

flying pest

Terry is oblivious to the coalition of Dinosaurs plans for his welfare

He just goes about doing his thing learning to fly and checking out

the other Pterodactyl chicks

Terry is young and carefree just getting his kicks

But he has bitten off more then he can chew

The Brontosauras T Rex meet up with a Megapnosauras and a

Sinoceratops to discuss a way to rid themselves from this pesky

flying Lizard

The topic of their discussion sits in his nest watching the Four

Dinosaurs below

The Dinosaurs look up at the nest calling Terry a annoying so and so

Terry isn’t old enough to see the danger he has put himself in

He is just playing having a little fun with his kin

He waits until their backs are turned then he takes off at a glide

The Dinosaurs are the sizeof four Mammoths so they have nowhere

to hide

Tezz lands on the back of the T Rex neck and he slides down the length

of its body like a giant slippery dip

But he is going too fast and he lands on the edge of a crevasse right on

the lip

He teeters and totters on the edge of the precipice

Will he lose his balance?

Then he rights himself with a sigh of relief that was close a near miss

He hears the sound of thundering feet the air is thick with dust

Tezz is afraid for his parents sake he has to survive that is a must

The Sinocerastops claws open a wound on the base of Terrys Feathers

Young Terry takes off hell bent for Leather

He lands in his nest with a thud

He really could use a glass of Bud

But he is too young to drink

Shit he can barely think

So he settles for some Milk instead

And lays down to rest his weary Head

The wound isn’t as bad as first thought

And a week later Tezz is good as new

But he is getting bored just sitting in the nest with a killer view

So he starts to think of a way to annoy the Dinosaurs again

And then he thinks up a killer plan

He flies down to the Forest floor and meets up with his friend

Lipar Folo a Pre Historic Mouse

Terry has a fire in his body that he has to douse

Lipar listens to Terrys plan and a smile lights up his face

He finally has a chance to put the Dinosaurs back in their place

For those giant Reptiles have made his life a living hell

He will turn into Mighty Mouse and ring their final bell

Of the four Dinosaurs two have their heads down chewing on

some leafy greens

While the other two just stand around looking big and mean

But the bigger they are the harder they fall

The Pterodactyl and the Mouse have grown real tall

They are ready and willing to bring the Dinosaurs down

But what in the fuck is that sound?

But Lipar Folo isn’t listening as he thinks about the Pterodactyls

plan he laughs out loud and starts shaking

But it isn’t Lipar that is shaking

Right before his Eyes a crack in the ground opens up

And with a almighty noise the Earth starts Quaking

The Sky turns Purple and goes to Black

For the Pterodactyl the Mouse and the Dinosaurs

There is no turning back

A giant Meteor has struck the Earth deep down to its core

So the Pterodactyl the Mouse and The Dinsaurs

don’t exist anymore

They have been vapourised

Right before your Eyes

Field Of Screams

24 Saturday Oct 2015

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A hand points towards the Sky

It is chalk white the flesh and skin is long gone

It is attached to a body that is still in the ground

Through wind rain and erosion

The hand is once again touched by the Sun

The body has been there for over ten years

Buried in the field of dreams

But soon this Godforsaken place will be renamed

the field of screams

Little Billy Martin is taking his Dog Boomerang

for a walk

When they come upon a green field Boomerang

gets all excited

And he runs off barking and yapping

Billy chases after Boomerang because it is getting close to

dinner time

And tonight Mama is cooking his favourite Lasagne

Billy spots Boomerang digging around in the corner of

the field

As he gets closer he notices that Boomerang has something

in his mouth

Boomerang is proud of his discovery and he drops it at Billys

feet

Billy has one look and lets out a shriek and he takes off running

faster then he has ever run before

Boomerang trots behind him wagging his tail

What Boomerang dug up is laying on the ground

A Human skull with one distinctive feature

Its mouth is frozen in a permanent silent scream

Det Rick Fontana

is watching the County Medical Examiner Eartha

Campbell as she slowly unearths the rest of the body

Fontana is a twenty year veteran at the NYPD

And he has investigated over three hundred murders

He has a good track record with over 90% of those

cases solved

But this one looks intriguing

One last case before he retires

The Medical Examiner gets his attention telling him that

she will have the results of the autopsy as soon as she can

Det Fontana is a lot like that TV  Detective

He might look dishevelled and like he hasn’t slept for a week

But his record speaks for itself

He watches the M.E van as it drives away

Something tells him that this body is only scratching the

surface

His offsider Sgt Pulinski and a few uniforms are walking the scene

looking for clues

A discarded Cigarette butt anything useful

But after ten years the DNA will be degraded

The scene is cordoned off and the Cavader Dogs are called in

Fontana has a sinking feeling in his chest

He knows the Dogs will find more bodies

And he isn’t wrong

Twenty six more bodies are discovered that day in the field

The field of screams

The Medical Examiner gets help from nearby precincts to help

process the corpses

And two weeks later all of the bodies have been autopsied

The M.E and Fontana hold a press conference

Fontana tells the press that everything will be done to catch

this serial killer

That no stone will be left unturned

Every cliché is used to keep the press quite

But pretty soon it will be a quite riot

In a run down apartment in the seedier part of town

A weasel of a man  sits on his lounge watching the Evening

News

So they have finally found my bodies

He strokes himself as the News reader reads the auto cue

Her blond hair and lips move at the same time

Twenty seven bodies have been found in Evans field

A killer is on the loose

More after this commercial break

Eartha Campbell the M.E has been holding something back

It is for Detective Fontanas ears only

It seems that all of the victims had been skinned alive

Going by the cuts on the bones and the grimaces on their

faces

They were still breathing as the skin was flayed from their bodies

Heaven knows the pain and suffering they were put through

The killer leaves his Apartment he is a man on a mission

It has been six months since he last used his knife

He has a need that will only go away when he ends a life

He drives around looking for a runaway or hitch hiker

Somebody who wont be missed for a while

Then he notices a likely looking target standing on the

corner

She has her thumb out looking for a ride

Jesus he thinks don’t these people ever learn

There are bad people out there

And I am the baddest of the bad

The killer pulls his van to the curb and asks the young lady

in which direction is she headed

The answer is Rochester

She gives the killer a smile hoping he is going in her direction

He smiles back telling her to climb in and get comfortable

Then he drives her off to oblivion

The killers van has had a bit of work done to it

In the back the interior has been stripped bare

So after the deed has been done he can just wash the Blood

away

And so no DNA evidence will remain

And hose out the van he does

The girl from Rochester couldn’t fight one on one with a man

with a knife

He skinned her alive in the back of the van

She finally dies with a scream all over her face

Now the killer has to find a new burial site

The field of screams is now out of bounds

But then the killer thinks again

That field is his field so the Cops can go fuck themselves

He drives the van to the edge of the field of screams

Checking out the situation

Two Cops sit in a patrol car talking about Basketball eating

Donuts drinking Coffee just shooting the breeze

The killer reaches in to the glove box and pulls out a 38 special

He slowly makes his way under the cover of darkness to the

Police car

He gets close to the passenger side window and BANG BANG

Both Cops are dead before they even know they have been shot

The killer returns to his van and drags the girl from Rochester

to his field

And using the spotlights that light up the crime scene he positions

the girl so that her skinless body glistens under the glare

The killer drives satisfied with a job well done

And he arrives home with his needs sated

Det Fontana is awoken at 3am by dispatch informing him of

the shooting at the field

Two Policemen are down

Fontana calls Pulinski and they both arrive at the scene at the

same time

The bodies of the two Officers are still slumped in their seats

And the girl from Rochester is being examined by the M.E

Now the perp is a Cop killer

And Det Fontana makes a vow with himself not to retire until

this killer is caught

And this vow will be kept

The killer lies low for two weeks and then the urge hits him hard

So he jumps into his van and slowly he cruises the downtown

district

Looking for a thrill looking for a kill

And he spots a likely victim sitting at a Bus stop

The last Bus left about an hour ago

So this girl is stranded

Only she doesn’t know it yet

He cruises the van to a stop then gets out to tell the girl

that the last Bus is long gone

The girl looks like she is about to cry

The killer offers to drive her home

She starts to accept the offer but then her sixth sense

kicks in and she starts to back up

The killers urge is out of control and he goes to grab

the girl by the arm

The girl starts screaming and she scratches deep furrows

down his face

Then she is free and she takes off at a sprint

The killer is furious and he races back to his van

Hoping to catch the girl and teach her a lesson with his knife

But the girl is long gone

With Blood streaming down his face the killer is crestfallen

as he drives home

The girl runs and runs until she gets home

She tells her parents that she was almost abducted by a man in

a white van

But she has scratched his face real good

Her parents call the Police who arrive shortly after to get a

statement

After talking to the girl and hearing of the scatching

The Police put plastic baggies over the girls hands to

preserve any DNA evidence

At the Police Precinct the girls finger nails are scraped

and hopefully a match will be found

Det Fontana is walking down the corridor when the DNA

Technician tells him of the find

Maybe there isn’t a link to the field of screams murders

But maybe there is

So Det Fontana holds another press conference telling

the public to be on the look out for a man in his twenties

who drives a white van

Plus he will be sporting deep scratches down his face

Unfortunately for the killer he was too drunk so he missed

the late night news

So he went to work the next morning at the Post Office

One of his co workers asks him about the scratches

And the killer tells that he was taking the trash out last night

and was attacked by a large Raccoon

His co worker doesn’t buy his story so she goes to her locker

and calls the Police hot line and tells them about the scratch

marks

And that her co worker also drives a white van

The killer watches the news in his lunch break

And he sees his scratched up face on the screen

Something explodes in his head and he jumps to his feet

wielding his knife

He slashes at his co workers killing two and injuring a third

Then he reaches Julie the one who phoned the Police

He knows she is the one

So he stabs her twice races to the car park jumps in his van

not really knowing where to go

Fontana and Pulinski arrive at the Post Office and are almost

broadsided by a white van fleeing the scene

The Killer knows what he has to do and he drives like a Bat out

of Hell heading towards the field of screams

He arrives with Fontana and Pulinski hot on his tail

He drives to the middle of the field and is surrounded by about

twenty Police Officers

Det Fontana informs him of his rights

But the killer isn’t listening he is at his favourite place

The field of screams

So he looks Fontana right in the eye

He brings his knife up to his own throat and he opens it up

from ear to ear

The killer is dead

He died in his field

His Blood is dripping into the dirt

Mingling with the Blood of all the people that he hurt

Excess Express

11 Sunday Oct 2015

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The Train has left the station and it is never coming back

It makes the same sound as any other Train as it travels

down the track

But this Train is different it doesn’t care if you are an

everyday person

Or a famous person full of fame and success

This Train is the excess express

First on board is a Platinum Blonde named Norma

Jean Baker

She rides the Train to wherever it will take her

She once sang for a President who was celebrating

a Birthday

The President likes her nice and close but at the same

time he wishes that she would go away

Norma Jean also goes by the name of Marilyn Monroe

Who found her fame as a movie actress

But she couldn’t deal with all the  success

That is why she is riding this one way ticket Train

She took a shitload of pills to deal with her pain

Next on board is Brain Jones an original Rolling

Stone

Who wasn’t adverse to smoking the odd joint or cone

He played the Tamborine and the Rhythm Guitar

People were saying this guy is gonna go far

With his blonde hair and good looks he thought he

should be the leader of the band

But Jagger and Richards were the ones holding the

winning hand

After all they were writing all of the songs

So Brain Jones withdrew into himself drinking and smoking

bongs

Brain liked to hold a lot of parties and drink a lot of Alcohol

And he snorted way too much Coke

He might be kind of famous but he is just ordinary folk

At his last party he went for a swim in his pool

But Brain Jones broke the number one golden rule

You never swim while under the influence of illegal

substances

Or you will become the victim of the circumstances

Walking down the Platform just about to board is Janis

Joplin and Jimi Hendrix

Both burst onto the scene about 1966

Janis sang Rock and the Blues better then any white girl

could

While Jimi played Electric Guitar better then any Black

man could

But Janis didn’t like the way that she looked

People called her an ugly Duckling or a Pig

So she started to get drunk before and after every gig

Jimi liked the way that he played but he didn’t like the

way that he sang

He didn’t think that he had the Chops

He was doing stuff that he shoudnt be doing getting in

trouble with the Cops

They both had an addiction to the needle and the spoon

On a ride to the dark side of the Moon

Jimi went first and Janis about a year later

They had low self esteem and were self haters

They both thought that they could play with Fire and not

get a blister

Now they are gone but not forgotten Brother and Sister

The Excess Express is rumbling down the track

You better hope that it just slows down but doesn’t stop

Or just put your Head in the slot and wait for the Guillotine

to drop

In 1977 Elvis Presley was bloated and fat  from substance abuse

and over eating

His overindulgence is going to take some beating

The King surrounded himself with people who couldn’t tell him no

So Elvis kept on doing the bad things doing all the bad stuff

He never knew when enough was enough

So Elvis sat down and he ate his last meal with some uppers

and downers for Dessert

He would just eat and eat until it hurt

After eating and indulging in drugs he needed to visit the

Bathroom

So he had a seat and his Heart skipped a beat

And then it stopped beating forever

The King is dead

Elvis has left the building

And he is never coming back

Two comedians John candy and John Belulshi

go a business trip together but they don’t go by Plane

They decide to travel by Train

Are they freaking insane?

They say that all Comedians have a darker half

They don’t walk down the Yellow Brick Road

They walk a rocky troubled path

Well these two were shovelling more Snow then a New

York resident

They were in more trouble then the before mentioned

President

But the spotlight and the attention was more then they could

take

They take to many drugs that they want just buckle they will

break

And break they did they weren’t beautifully broken they were

broken in an ugly way

They are broken bad and they will stay that way

John and John went on a bender

They inhale more drugs then customs has ever detected

And they have smoked more drugs then John Wet has ever

rejected

Even though they died in different years John and John cried

the same tears

They died in different cities but they both died alone

In a Motel room a long way from home

The Excess Express isn’t trying to impress anybody

It just deals with the facts

It goes back and forth up and down the tracks

Picking up lonely lost Souls who died before their time

They were blinded by fame and ignored the warning signs

River Phenoix went to the Viper Room but he didn’t see a Snake

Like all of the others before him he made the same mistakes

He took more drugs then his body could handle

River was burning both ends of the candle

The wick is burning and River is covered in Wax

The only good thing about dying is that dead men pay no Tax

The Pheonix has stopped rising

The song has stopped reprising

We have come to Rivers final interlude

He is now shaking hands with Saint Jude

Kurt Cobain was the reluctant leader of Grunge

And all of the bad Juju he soaked up like a sponge

All of the people in the know were saying that Nirvana

were going straight to the top

What they didn’t know was that the Penny was about to drop

Kurt knew that he was a kid playing a big mans game

He didn’t like the spotlight he couldn’t handle the fame

So Kurt picked up a Gun and blew away his Head

And all of a sudden the leader of Grunge was dead

All Kurt wanted to do was play his music without any of

the Business Bullshit

But the fans and the music press wouldn’t give him a moment

of peace

So the Bullet to the Head gave him the release

Keith Moon Heath Ledger Michael Hutchence Whitney Housten

They all died way before their time was up

But they all had one thing in common

They all lived under the glare of the spotlight

And they all died alone

Just because you aren’t famous doesn’t mean that the Excess

Express wont stop at your Station

Because it will

So if you want to dabble in Drugs don’t go overboard cause the Train

will stop

You will climb aboard and fall the long endless drop

Kilby The Bilby

05 Monday Oct 2015

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This is a story about Kilby the Bilby

For my overseas readers a Bilby is a small

Australian Marsupial

Kilby  the Bilby is wandering around looking to mate

He has to spread his Genes before it is too late

Then he hears a little squeak coming from a grassy knoll

But it is only a little Spotted squoll

She would be a good catch

But the Genes wouldn’t match

So Kilby goes on his way

And the Spotted Quoll runs the other way

The reason why Kilby is having trouble finding

a mate is because the Bilbys are on the verge of

extinction

The Bilbys are living on the edge

Just then Kilby hears a sound coming from behind

a Hedge

But it is only a large Water Rat doing a little bit of this

and a little bit of that

Water Rats aren’t really his type

So Kilby has a bit of a gripe and goes on searching

Things better happen soon cause he is close to bursting

Kilby doesn’t understand why he cant find a wife

He doesn’t really want a partner for life

Just a little afternoon delight

Or a little loving in the middle of the night

So on he goes with his quest

What is going to happen next?

Then Kilby looks up and sees a Tree Kangaroo a

little to big for his size

Maybe he can manoeuvre into position and collect

his prize

Just when he is ready to begin the Tree Kangaroo

leans back and squashes Kilby really thin

Once again Kilby has failed in his endeavour

But just like Justin Beiber said you ‘Never say Never’

So he combs his whiskers and uncurls his Tail

Surely next time he wont fail

Then Kilby picks up a scent in the air

But it is only the smell of a Field Hare

Maybe he can try it on with this Rabbit wanna be

And create a new spieces the Hareby

Kilby knows that he is getting desperate

maybe he is losing his mind

He really needs to meet a Bilby of the female kind

He has an itch that he cant quite scratch

Kilby really needs to find his match

He has looked high and he has looked low

Maybe he should keep things on the level

And make it with the feisty Tasmanian Devil

But as he gets closer the Devil starts spitting and

hissing

In the Devil the romantic side is missing

And a Bilby is a lover not a fighter

He just wishes that his ball bag was 10cc lighter

So he gives the Devil her due and keeps on looking

So he heads into the Desert to see what is cooking

And straightaway he stumbles upon a Furry Nosed

Wombat

Which is about ten times the size of a Bilby and his

cousin the Eastern Grey Numbat

Speaking of Numbats maybe that could be Kilbys

chance

To get down and dirty and do the horizontal dance

Kilby is feeling down and on the edge of dispare

Being alone in this world isn’t really fair

But then he looks in the distance and what does he

see?

One of the last cute as a Kitten female Bilby

Kilby and the female Bilby haven’t got any time for

small talk

So they just run under a Tree for shelter

And then they go for it Helter Skelter

Because of this union the Bilby is one step back

from the brink

They don’t really care what people think

All they want is for people to stop developing all

of the land

So that the Bilby can for another ten million years

Leave their foot prints in the Sand