Blah Blah Blah

I am hearing a voice in my Eardrum

One of my workmates is bending back my Ear

And he is just in first gear

This could go for two hours until our next break

Doesn’t he know that silence is golden

For fuck sake

 

After about thirty minutes his words are going

in one Ear and out of the other

My Brain has shut down and run for cover

My workmate is a good guy

He just talks too much

He thinks that his words have got the magic touch

But I have heard all of his stories before

But I don’t want to hear them no more

 

So I decide to follow my Brains example

And go to a different space

But I keep the ‘I am listening’ look on my Face

 

The place I go to is way beneath the waves

I swim with the Turtles and the Stingrays

Then I dive down to the Ocean bottom

The reason I am is long forgotten

And them through the muddy water I can see

that I have reached

The silence of the Clams

 

Clams are cool cause there mouths open and close

all day and all night

But not a sound is heard

You can listen all you want

But you wont hear a word

 

Hang on someone is pulling on my Arm

And I am brought back to reality

My workmate is still talking for Heavens sake

Thank Christ it is almost time for a break

 

After work I go to the Barber to get a Haircut

And I get a sinking feeling in my Gut

There are about Ten guys waiting their turn

I can feel my Stomach starting to churn

The guy in the chair is getting short back and sides

I sit in a chair and try to hide

 

The Barber is talking about the Weather

And ‘Wasn’t it hot today’

Then everybody is talking at once

Everyone has to have their say

The Barber is Clipping Combing and flapping

his Gums

Everyone is squirming in their seats uncomfortable

with a very numb Bum

 

The customer climbs down from the chair

And thanks the Barber for doing a great job

The Barber ‘That’s ok see you later Bob

The next Customer climbs up

Only Nine more to go

Everybody is still talking at once

Yapping to and fro

 

Then I feel my Brain drifting off to my place

beneath the waves

I block everything out

It is the silence that I crave

I am swimming with the Fish and the Mermaids

There is no need for flippers or hearing aids

 

Cause down here you don’t need any Ears

I could stay down here for years and years

And then just like that wham

I have reached

The Silence of the Clams

 

Then I hear the sound of clipping

And Car horns bipping

And I realise that I am back at the centre of Town

My Ears have grown sensitive to sounds

The Barber is telling me that it is my turn to sit

in the chair

I sit back like I haven’t got a care

 

I tell him’Dont take too much off I just want a trim’

But all I can think about is going for a swim

The Barber is talking non stop

About sports the weather he is just shooting the Breeze

I feel like screaming out ‘Can I just have silence please?’

I realise that he is just making conversation

So I slip away before there is a confrontation

 

 

Once again I drift down deep below

Looking cooler then Hans Solo

A Pod of Dolphins are with me as I swim down to the

Sea Floor

And then before I know it Bam

I have reached

The Silence of the Clams

 

Then I hear screaming and I realise it is coming

from me

My Eyes are open

But I don’t believe what I see

The Barber has dyed my Hair Red

And given me a Perm and a style

I wont be going back there for quite a while

 

But it is my own fault for drifting off

And not paying attention

I was swimming with the Dolphins

When the Barber was asking questions

He misunderstood what I was looking for in a Haircut

I didn’t get what I wanted

Anything but

 

So People don’t just talk and talk and talk

Cause your listeners might just take a little walk

Sometimes just have a listen instead

Don’t be so extroverted

Be Cool be introverted

 

So if you are ever in a situation

When someone is talking too much

Just go to your own happy place

Just keep that ‘Im listening’ look on your Face

They will never know

They will just keep on talking.