This Story is dedicated to my favourite Author
I am a wanted Man
I have been on the run for years
I am on the F.B.I s Ten Most Wanted list
All because I didn’t return a Library Book
I didn’t realise that not returning a Book would be such
The Library Police have been after me for a very long time
It all started about Twenty years ago
I went to my local Library
To borrow a Stephen King Book
‘IT’ was the title
The Book was a dog eared Paperback
That had a bent spine
But I know only one thing
That Book was mine
I arrived Home
I sat in my favourite Chair near the front window
And I started to read.
From page one that Book gripped me tighter then
I couldn’t put it down
I read on the Toilet
I read on at the Dinner Table
I read on the Bus on the way to work.
If only that Book could talk
But it did speak to me in a way
I read every single word
I felt that Book was written just for me
I just couldn’t put that Book down
I read all about Pennywise the Clown
That Book consumed me 24 hours a Day
I believe in every Word that Mr King had to say
Word by Word Paragraph to Paragraph Chapter
That Book completely took over my life
Who has time for Children?
Who has time for a Wife?
As the Weeks slipped by
I knew that the Book was probably overdue
But I just lost the track of time
I will probably have to pay a fine
Pay a fine!
For a Book that is mine.
And sure enough about a Week later
I got a Letter in the Mail
I have to pay Twenty Dollars without fail
If I haven’t paid the Fine within Seven Days
The Library Police will pay me a visit
And they will reclaim the Book by force
Will I pay the Fine? Of course
NOT I will not give them the satisfaction or the
It is none of their what I do at my leisure.
You might say ‘Why don’t you just return the Book
and pay the Fine?’
But why should I pay a Fine?
For a Book that is mine?
Every word in that Book is imprinted deep inside my Brain
It is carved with the Devils mark of Cain
Then I decide that my Employment is taking up to much of my
time.How can I read when I am at work for Nine Hours?
It takes me away from my Book reading powers.
Now I have 24/7 to read the Book
Who has time to Sleep?
Who has the time to Cook?
I hear a knocking at my front Door
I look out of the window and I see two Guys in Uniform
The Library Police.
I don’t answer the Door
So they press the Door Chime
Who would have thought that not returning a Book was such
I get a $20 note from my Wallet and slip it under the Door
I tell the Library Police ‘Here is the Money to pay the fine
Don’t come around here no more’
I peek through the Blinds and watch them take the Money and go
But I know that they will be back
After all I still have the Book
Just to make sure they have gone
I sneak another look.
I can relax for awhile
Cause I know they come back again tonight
But the Library Police want give up without a fight
Maybe I should booby trap my House
Maybe Electrify the front door and chime?
But deep down I know that I am running out of time
When I walk around the Streets
I know that I have a Shadow
Why they just don’t arrest me ?
I do not know
The Library Police follow me everywhere
But when I look over my Shoulder they are gone
Maybe they weren’t there all along?
For the next Six Months I barely leave the House
Except to go to the Letter Box
Letter after Letter arrive from the Library Police
The Fine is increasing
While my patience is slowly decreasing
The Fine is now $1210 and counting
My Paranoia is growing
The tension is mounting
All of this simply because I didn’t return a Library Book
Now I am Public Enemy Number One
The number one Crook
Did I commit a Murder?
Am I a Child Molester/
Did I go and steal a Car?
I think that the Library Police are taking things a little
I need to get out
I am hungry I need food
I just hope that the Library Police are in a better mood
As I get close to the Supermarket
I hear someone calling my Name
I spin around
And a piece of Paper is shoved into my Hand
I feels like I have slipped into the deadly grip of quick Sand
It seems that I have been served a Subpoena
All of this because of one little Misdemeanor
I have to appear at Court on the Day
Or a Warrant will be issued for my arrest
The Library Police have gone from an annoyance
To my number one Pest.
I sit at Home in my favourite Chair
Reading my Favourite Book
For about the One Hundreth time
But my mind is drifting all I can think about is the
Library Police and my so called Crime
Well I am up to Chapter Eleven
When I hear a knocking
And my whole House is rocking
I take a peek out of the Blinds
And I see S.W.A.T. and the F.B.I.
I wish I could slip through a hole in the Sky
But I cant
I have to stand and fight
And then I see a strange light
A Flash Bomb has landed on my living room floor
My Ears are ringing and my Eyes are sore
I cant believe this is happening
All because I didn’t return my favourite of reading material
But then then things become even more surreal
As the S.W.A.T. team storm my place
A look of bewilderment is on my Face
All I wanted to do was read
Now I think I am about to Bleed
A shot rings out
And I feel the punch of a Death hit
I have gone from being a Bookworm
Now I am deep in the Shit
Please tell me that this isn’t happening
Am I having a Dream?
As my Eyes start to lose focus
I lift up the book to read my final words
But as I hold my favourite Book I see a Bullet hole
has pierced through it
But not all of the way through
The Bullet hasn’t hit anything vital or life ending
It seems that all of my wounds are mending
Now when I go to the Library
I return my Books on time
Because we all know that not returning your Books
IS THE NUMBER ONE CRIME!!!!