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For my Annual Holidays I decided to hire a Metal

Detector.

Go out to the middle of nowhere.

And make my fortune in Gold.

 

Or Silver Opals or Diamonds Or maybe I will find some

Buried Treasure

Or maybe I will find a Shit load of Gold Coins way in the

back of a Cave.

Jesus I am Daydreaming again.

So I tell my imagination to behave.

 

So I hire a Metal Detector.

And on my adventure I go.

As I drive I dream about Pirates Buccaneers.

And old wooden Ships.

Plus a cranky old Captain with a Parrot on His Shoulder.

I Dream about finding my fortune.

And a Gold Nugget as big as a Boulder.

 

So after driving for two days I finally reach my Destination.

I little place in Queensland called Cassowary Hideaway.

I find myself a little Bungalow.

And book in for a week long stay.

 

Early the next morning I drive into Town to pick up some

Supplies.

And while I am there I buy some Maps.

I ask the Newsagent if He has any Treasure Maps.

Preferably one where X marks the spot.

Only joking haha.

 

Well the Newsagent doesn’t get my sense of humour.

He looks at Me like I am some Loco from the South.

I can see that My charm isn’t working.

So for a change I just shut My Mouth.

 

Well the Locals sure are friendly I feel right at Home.

I buy the Maps and then go to the Grocery Store for some

Food and Water.

Then I jump into my 4WD to start My Detecting.

I just hope that my directions don’t need correcting.

 

But before I head off inland.

I decide to give My Detector a trial run on the Beach.

So I walk up and down the Sand.

Waving that thing back and forth.

And right away it goes odd with the pinging sound

of success,

But a couple of Hours.

All I got for my trouble was a rusty old Horse Shoe Car

Keys a few Coins and a cast iron Camp Fire Pan.

I hope that I have better luck Tomorrow.

When I travel deep into the Hinterland.

 

I wake early the next Morning.

And after a breakfast of Bacon and Emu Eggs.

I set off for a five hour drive.

But if I stumble across a likely looking spot.

I will stop and check it out.

 

And after two hours that is exactly what happened.

I like the look of a little clearing  beside a trickle of

a Creek.

Hopefully My Metal Detector will go ballistic.

And I will make My Fortune before the end of the Week.

 

After setting up all of my Camping gear.

It is time to take in My surroundings.

So I grab my Detector and go on a walk about.

Well I walk around for Hours.

And the only thing that I Detect.

Is that the Clouds have turned dark and gloomy.

So I hurry back to my Four Person Tent.

And for one Person it is nice and roomy.

 

As I sit there watching the Rain coming down.

Enjoying a cold Beer or Two.

Then My Mind starts to wander.

As I look out at the great wide yonder.

 

Maybe I will find a Treasure Chest  full of Jewellery

and Silver.

Or a giant Nugget weighing a Thousand Ounces.

Or maybe I will find a secret Government Vault

Like the American Fort Knox.

Then I can buy myself a Mansion.

And stop living on the Street of Hard Knocks.

 

I Smile as I think about My Golden Dream.

Then I feel that My Bladder is full.

So I let loose a long golden stream.

 

I have a restless Night.

Thinking about all of the Wild Animals out there.

Cassowarys Dingoes Spiders Snakes and Scorpions.

And of course the Salt Water Crocodile.

An Ancient Reptile like a Freight Train with Teeth.

The most dangerous Animal on Earth.

Is the one that lurks beneath.

 

The next Morning I wake up tired weary and wired.

But after a Breakfast of Bacon and Eggs

I am ready to go exploring.

 

So I decide to follow the Creek inland.

To see where it will take Me.

And as I take in the beautiful scenery

I realise that this place is where every Person on Earth

should see.

 

As I wave My Detector around.

The Air is filled with the sound of silence.

It is not picking up a thing.

Maybe it is broken?

So I do some tinkering

And finally I get a sound

But it is not the sound of striking Gold

It is not that at all.

It is the sound of a Waterfall.

 

I walk towards the sound.

And I come across a large Billabong.

About Fifty Metres wide.

And God knows how deep.

And My Detector is still turned on.

And it is going ballistic.

Like a deranged out of control Pogo Stick.

 

Then it jumps out of My Hands.

And takes off towards the Falls.

It cuts through the Water like a Outboard Motor.

Or like a crazy Whipper Snipper.

Jesus I think I have hit the jackpot.

You little ripper.

 

Well the fastest way to see what is behind the Falls.

Is for Me to go for a swim.

So I strip down to My Underwear.

Have a quick look out for a Croc.

Then I jump right in.

It is only Thirty Metres to the Falls.

But it looks so far away.

Then I feel a tightening in My Balls.

 

A Crocodile is Twenty Metres behind Me.

And it is closing in fast.

I only have a few Metres to go.

So I start to Swim like a Torpedo.

It is like I am wearing Fuel Injected Speedos

I just make it.

Before the Croc can give my Arse another hole.

I shoot beneath the Falls.

Like a Bullet from a Gun.

And it feels like I have swum straight towards the Sun.

 

I cant believe My Eyes.

I have swum into a Golden Cave.

The Cave looks to be about Ten Metres deep.

And it is Choc a Bloc with Gold.

Gold Bars Gold Jewellery Gold Gold Gold.

 

It must be a long lost Pirate Treasure.

Captain Hook Captain Kidd Captain Blue Beard.

One of those.

 

Wait what am I Hearing?

 

Beep Beep  Beep Beep

Jesus it is my Alarm Clock.

The whole Adventure was just a Dream

I cant believe it was just a Dream.

A Golden Dream.