What a perfect Day.
The Sun is shining the Birds are Chirping
A good Day for a walk in the Park.
So I put on My Baseball Cap and my walking Shoes.
Then I jump in My Car.
After a Twenty Minute Drive I arrive at My Destination.
Sydneys’s Centennial Park.
My favourite spot for some recreation.
And chatting up Chicks.
I just follow the Path taking in all of the sights.
Nodding to my fellow Walkers.
Basking in the Sunshine.
Listening to all of the Birds.
Yes Life doesn’t get any better them this.
Coming towards Me is a young Lady with a Chihauhau
on a Lead.
The Dog is wagging its Tail and its Tongue is hanging out.
It is obviously enjoying its walk.
I they get near Me I reach down to give the Dog a Pat.
‘Good little Doggie’ I say.
The young Lady is startled and says ‘Mister I wouldn’t get
to close to Misty.’
I look at Her and then at the Dog.
It is about the size of a Guinea Pig.
The Chihauhau looked at Me.
And then it started to snarl like a Pit Bull on heat.
It made a sound like a rabid Cujo.
And bared its Teeth like a Wolf.
And before I could react.
It had latched on to Two of My Fingers.
I could feel it chewing and biting through My Skin.
And right into the Bone.
Then those Tow Fingers were bitten right off.
And swallowed on down.
I couldn’t believe this was happening
I was screaming My Lungs out.
And Blood was pouring from My wound.
But Misty the Chihauhau wasn’t finished with Me yet.
It had latched on to My Ankle.
And was biting into My Achilles Tendon.
I was shaking My Leg trying to throw it off.
But it was hanging on for grim death.
And then I heard My Tendon snap.
As I fell to the ground Misty the Chijauhau.
That good little Doggie from Hell
Got hold of My other Ankle
And this time I heard and felt My Tendon snap.
Well I was laying on the ground.
I couldn’t move.
And the young Lady was saying. ‘Mister leave Misty
Couldn’t the B arch see all of the Blood?
This isn’t no game.
I couldn’t stand up to escape the Beast.
I was screaming for help
Them Misty that Evil Chihauhau latched onto my Throat.
I started to panic as I felt its Teeth dig in deep
As it shook its Head from side to side.
I felt My Lifes Blood draining away.
And then I felt no more.
I woke up in the Hospital.
Minus Two Fingers and My dignity.
Both of My Tendons have been reattached.
My Throat is sore and swollen.
The Doctors mightn’t be able to talk.
But if I do it will only be a whisper.
But all I can think about.
Is that I have been brought to Deaths door
By a Chihauhau the size of a drowned Rat.
That good little Doggie was possessed.
Just like that Girl in that ‘Exorcist’ Movie.
I press the Button.
And I feel the Morphine relieve the pain.
As the Drug is taking hold.
I look out of the Hospital Window.
And I almost call for a Bedpan
For out in the Carpark is a young Lady with a Dog
A good little Doggie with an attitude problem.
They are both laughing as they look into My Room
I can still hear the snarls.
And I can still feel its Teeth.
And this time I call for the Bedpan.
I was in Hospital for Two Months.
My physical wounds are healing really well.
But My Mental wounds are still a work in progress.
Will they ever heal?
I guess only time will tell.
I was released from the Hospital on a Tuesday Afternoon.
And I have to use a Walking Stick for a while.
A bonus is that the Two Fingers that I lost aren’t on My
I wonder if the Owner of that Dog from Hell will have to
And will I have to take the Witness Stand?
After about Six Months I am starting to feel at ease and relaxed.
I haven’t seen the young Lady or that Demonic Dog again.
My Mind is feeling better.
But there still are a few cracks.
And I am actually thinking about getting a Pet.
But it sure as fuck wont be a Dog.
As I think about what sort of Pet to get.
I come to a decision.
I am going to get Myself a Cat.
Or maybe a small Green Tree Frog?
But a Cat it is.
I go and check out My Local Pound.
And right away I spot a cute little Siamese.
A Cat is a lot safer then a deranged Hound.
And the Cat smiles at Me eager to please.
So I name Her Pandora and take Her Home.
But I make sure that 000 is on speed dial on My
Everything at Home is all set up for a Moggy.
Litter Tray plenty of Toys and Cat food.
But Pandora is a fussy eater.
She doesn’t like the Food that I provide.
And She let Me know by Hissing and baring Her Teeth.
I am beginning to think that having a Cat for a Pet.
Might be a bit misguided.
I hope that Pandora doesn’t think that I taste like Beef?
So when I go Shopping I buy Her another brand of Cat Food.
Especially made for fussy eaters.
Made from hand crafted Organic Chicken.
Well Pandora’s Eyes light up.
And She gets in a real mellow Mood.
But then She stops eating so I say Come on Pandora give
it another try’
Well Her Eyes go from Green to stone cold Dead.
She looks at Me like I am a Turkey ready to Baste.
I think it is time little Kitty went to Bed.
Well Pandora has other ideas.
And She springs at Me like a Voodoo Princes on Meth.
I try to lurch back.
But I was nowhere near quick enough.
Then Pandora’s Claws raked My Face.
And I felt My Left Eyeball turn to mush.
I cant believe this is happening again.
Another Animal attack.
I can feel My Eyeball juices running down My Face
And I ring 000 lucky it is on speed dial.
I hold My Hand up to My Eye Socket.
To maybe hold My Eye in place.
And Pandora takes off.
Running a Three minute Mile.
So once again I am on My way to Hospital.
Maybe they will give Me the same Bed
But if they cant do that.
They can give me a Bed for the repeated Victim of
an Animal attack instead.
Well I have lost an Eye.
And I have Thirty Six Stitches up and down My Face.
So now I look like Cyclops
So I stay at Home to avoid the stares.
But the Doctors finally fitted Me with a Prosthetic Eyeball.
And I am still walking with the aide of a Walking Stick.
But I am still breathing.
So I am still alive.
And I would still love to have a Pet.
What sort of Pet should I get?
A Guinea Pig?
Or maybe I will get Myself a Pet Bird.
Or maybe a Fish?
But then I sit back and take stock.
And I go and buy Myself a Pet Rock.