I recently moved into a new House.
And I decided to do some Yard Work.
Maybe put in a Vegetable Garden.
Or a Bed full of Australian Natives.
As I started to dig around preparing the Soil for
My Spade struck something solid.
Thinking it was just a Rock or an old Bottle.
I didn’t think all that much of it.
But that Object was in My way.
So I kept on Digging.
And that Object is now the size of a Bucket.
So I keep on Digging.
And it is now the size of a Washing Machine.
I am getting tired from all of the Digging.
But I couldn’t stop.
I had to know what was buried in My Backyard.
So I kept Digging all through the Night.
Then I stepped back to look at My Discovery.
What I was looking at was a huge Rectangular Object.
Matt Silver in Colour.
And it is the size of one of those Old Fashioned Telephone
I walk around it .
Trying to find a way inside.
There are no noticeable openings.
No Doors or Windows.
So I just rubbed My Hands all over it.
And it started to glow.
Are there Aliens inside this Object.?
How did it end up in My Backyard?
Then there was a hissing sound and it opened up like
So I take a step inside.
Then I take another.
And I have a look around.
And I see that the Object is a Time Machine.
So it isn’t a Space Ship.
There aren’t any Aliens Thank God.
We have all heard the Stories about Aliens.
And their liking for Anal Probing
Plus the humiliation of Public disrobing.
So with a sigh of relief.
I check out the Control Panel.
And right in the middle is a big Green Button.
So I press that Button.
And a Sexy Female voice says ‘Welcome to Your ACME
‘Please state the Day Month and Year that You wish to visit’
Plus the Location where You want to go’
So I say ’25th MARCH 1916
The Eastern Front Germany.
At first nothing happens.
Then the Door seals with a Hiss.
And My Insides do a Backflip.
Now I know what an Astronaut feels like.
Then with a thud the Time Machine has reached
Then the Door opens.
And I cant believe My Eyes.
It looks just like Hell on Earth.
Through the Smoke and Haze.
I can see Soldiers Barbed Wire and Mud filled Trenches.
I am standing besides a English Private.
Who is struggling to control His senses.
He has His Rifle up to His Shoulder.
And He has a German Soldier in His Sights.
The Englishman goes to pull the Trigger.
But He hesitates.
He and I both look at the German.
And I immediately recognise a Young Adolf Hitler.
The Englishman begins to lower His Rifle.
But I have a whisper in His Ear.
You have a chance to change History.
Pull the Trigger.
And even though He cant see Me.
My Words seem to register.
Cause He raises His Rifle again.
And He shoots that German Soldier in the Head.
The Day is 25th March 1916
And Adolf Hitler is Dead.
I go back to the Time Machine.
And I press that Green Button again
I wish to go back to the 22nd November 1963.
I am heading to Dallas Texas.
The scene of the President John F Kennedy Assassination.
To try to achieve an ending more to the Worlds satisfaction.
The Time Machine lands in Downtown Dallas.
A perfect Day for a Killing.
I am about to meet a Man with a Head full of Propaganda.
And here He is right on Time
Lee Harvey Oswald.
On His way to commit a Crime.
He is looking real nervous as He makes His way to the Book
Lee Harvey Oswald wants to be Famous.
He wants to be the Front Page Story.
Even though He cant see Me.
He seems to feel My presence.
And He gives a nervous glance in My general direction.
And in the Storefront Window You can see My Reflection.
And Oswald jumps like He has seen a Ghost.
I have to finish this now.
Or this could be My last Post.
So I stick out a Leg.
And Oswald falls to the Sidewalk.
He looks up all frightened.
Like He heard a Ghost Talk.
He knows that He has to reach the Depository
And He has to get there fast.
And just then a Motorbike Cop flashes past.
Closely followed by President Kennedys Car.
He and Jackie Smile and wave to the Crowd.
Kennedy will never know how close He came to Death.
So near yet so far.
Then He looks over His Shoulder.
And He gives Me a Smile.
And I tell You right now.
That Smile will stay with Me for awhile.
Back to the Time Machine.
And I am feeling like Nostradamus.
But in reverse.
I cant see the Future.
But now I can change the Past.
But I am feeling all washed up.
I don’t know how much longer I can last.
But I press that Green Button again.
And all I have to say is 9/11
And the Time Machine knows exactly what I mean.
And we land in New York City.
I feel the tension because I have Thousands of Lives
in My Hands.
I look up at the Twin Towers
As the Sun reflects off the Glass
Then I hear the Sound of an Aircraft approaching
I Scream even though I know the Pilot cant hear Me.
They keep on coming
A Two Plane Frontal Assault.
I have had enough of this Shit.
It is time to call a Halt.
I use the Power of the Time Machine to Channel the
Cockpit of the lead Plane.
And I scream ‘This is your Supreme Leader Abort Mission
‘Land safely and let all of the Passengers go free.’
I look up at the Towers again.
And I have a nervous Finger up to My Mouth
Just like Austin Powers
Then the Two Planes veer off and disappear into the
The Twin Towers are still standing in place.
Right where they belong.
I am mighty glad that I have been able to prevent a wrong.
But enough of World Events.
I want to be selfish.
And use the Time Machine for My own Personal needs.
So o press that Green Button.
And I go back to the 18th October 1986.
The Day that My Brother Greg Died.
Greg died young he never got the chance to grow Old.
Forever Twenty Four.
Greg Died in a Motorcycle Accident
And I hope to change the outcome.
I don’t wont Greg to take that Fatal Ride.
I remember we were both at the Race Course Hotel
on that fateful Afternoon.
But Greg left early because He had to attend a Party that
So We said our Goodbyes.
See You in the Morning.
But the next Morning .
Was a Morning of Mourning.
This I hope to change.
So before Greg and His Girlfriend Rhonda leave for the Party
On that fucking Bike
The Motorbike that I detest.
I hope that I can stop Greg from laying down for His final Rest.
So Greg rides to the Party alone.
Because Rhonda was running late.
If Rhonda had been on time.
Maybe the Accident wouldn’t have happened.
So before Greg gets on His Bike to pick Rhonda up
I whisper in His Ear ‘Greg don’t do it get Rhonda to call
So Rhonda calls a Cab and She arrives at the Party safe and
Greg doesn’t need to take that Fatal Ride.
So my Brother Greg is still Alive.
I rush back to the Time Machine.
Is I can save One Sibling.
Maybe I can save another.
So I travel back to 14 April 2013.
The Day before My Sister Sue was Diagnosed with Cancer.
And as She Sleeps.
I travel through Her Bones until She is Disease free.
Sue opens Her Eyes and starts to speak.
Her Bones are now so clean they squeak.
I go back to the Time Machine.
And I press that Green Button for the very last time.
And I tell it to take Me Home.
So with a thud the Time Machine lands in My Back Garden.
What will the Neighbours think?
Then that Sexy Female Voice says ‘Thank You for using the ACME
‘This Machine will self destruct in Thirty Seconds’
So if I was You I would Run very Fast’
‘Oh and by the way Thank You for visiting the past’
Of course this is just a Story.
My Brother Greg and My Sister Sue
Are both still Dead
And One Day i will join Them.
And We will be together Forever.