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I was relaxing in My Lounge Chair.

When I heard a sound at the back Door.

And what did I find?

Sitting on the Railing was  this ugly ratty featherless


I say Featherless.

It did have a few Feathers on its Head and Wings.

But its Body was bare.


It almost looked like a Chicken ready for Baking.

But the poor thing was distressed frightened and shaking.


As soon as I opened the Screen Door.

It flew off into the nearest Tree.

Where it was soon joined by Two more Cockatoos

Who proceeded to attack it with force.

And its remaining Feathers drifted to the Ground.


I ran Outside waving My Arms about.

And the Two rogue Cockatoos took to the Sky.

But the Featherless Cockatoo remained where it was

Showing a lot of guts and clout.


I didn’t see that Cockatoo for a few Weeks

I thought that it has probably been pecked to Death.

But then I heard a familiar sound at the Back Door.

And once again that Featherless Bird was sitting on the


But this time it really was Featherless.

All that remained was the Yellow Crest.


I was amazed that it could still Fly.

Without any Feathers and Down.

That Cockie looked at Me and let out a little Sigh.

And I couldn’t let that sorry Bird down


I told that little Cockie to stay where it was.

Like it was a Dog.

I raced inside and grabbed a slice of Bread.

Back Outside I offered that Bread to the Cockie.

And it jumped onto My Arm and started to nibble.

God this Cockie was covered in Scabs from a lot of Fights.

And as I had  a closer look.

I saw that it was also covered in Mites.


So I took it inside  and put it in the Laundry Sink

Then I filled a Spray Bottle with Washing Liquid Vinegar

and Water.

Then I told Cockie to close its Eyes.

And I sprayed away.

That poor Bird was saturated.

And hopefully all of the Mites will Drown.

As the suds go down the Drain.

That tough little Bird still hasn’t made a sound.


It seems to know that I wouldn’t hurt it.

So it stays nice and calm.

I dry it off and wrap it in a Towel.

And I feed it some more Bread.

Then it starts Squawking and Shrieking.

Loud enough to wake the Dead.


I don’t know what to do.

I just hold out My Arm

And it climbs right on up.

Till it is sitting on My Shoulder.

And it starts to nibble on My Ear.


I don’t know whether it is a Cock Bird or a Hen

But I have to give Cockie a Name.

And after some thinking.

I Name that Bird ‘Lockie the Cockie.’


For over a Week Cockie didn’t leave My side.

We Slept Ate and Showered in the same Room.

Lockie is starting to back to good health.

Most of its Feathers have grown back.

That Bird has become part of Me.

But it is a Wild Animal.

So it should be wild and free.


I take Lockie out to the back landing.

It is time to say Goodbye.

Then Lockie starts flapping its Wings.

Then He takes off and disappears amongst the Trees.

I don’t know what to say.

I just whisper ‘Come back one Day Lockie please’


Over the next few Months My Life returns to normal.

Lockie must have moved away.

Maybe it flew away to find a reliable source of Food?

Or to find itself a Mate.

Shit I better get to Work

Or I will be late.


As I head towards My Car.

I am confronted by Two Thugs.

Who want to steal My Wheels.

Then they start pushing Me around

Asking Me to hand over the Keys.


Then a loud Shrieking noise fills the Air.

That sends a chill up My Spine.

Then Lockie the Cockie attacks the Two Criminals like

a Bengal Tiger.

Ripping and Clawing at their Faces.

And those Two Thugs run away like scared little Boys.

I scream out Yeah go Home to Mummy and play with Your Toys’


Well it looks like I now have a Cockatoo Bodyguard.

But I still have to get to Work.

So I tell Lockie that ‘I will be Home before You know it You’ll see’

So He Flies of My Shoulder.

And lands in a nearby Gum Tree.


As soon as I arrive Home from Work.

Lockie swoops down and lands on My Shoulder.

Like a Security Blanket.

He is on the lookout for any signs of danger.

I wouldn’t get to close.

If I was an up to no good Stranger.


Lockie os a good judge of character.

So if Anyone with good intentions gets close.

Lockie will give them a friendly Squawk.

But if they have bad intentions

He will flap His Wings and Shriek.


And if they don’t get the message.

Lockie will attack like a demented Magpie.

He is My own dive bombing Missile.

Straight from the Sky.


Maybe Lockie and I could be  Bouncers at a Pub

Or Security Guards inside a Bank.

Or We could protect Delegates at the United Nations.

Or maybe Lockie could be the first Cockatoo in Space.

So if You want to stay safe

Just use your common sense

And stay out of My Face.


But most of all I would like to see Lockie step into the Ring

for the UFC Championships.

He could be a real Contender.

He knows all of the moves Kicks and Punches.

Lockie is the Real Deal

Not just some fucking Pretender.


So if You ever see Lockie and Me walking down the Street

Come and say Hello.

But if You have bad intentions

You will be shut down by one very nasty Bird.

And I don’t think that You will like Lockies point of view

Cause Lockie is one bad tempered Shit Kicking Head Stomping