In Part One.
My Daughter brought a Rag Doll Home
It was like a little Woollen Chucky.
It tried to Kill Me by laying on My Face while I slept.
But I pulled on the Wool and it unravelled in My Hands
I scooped up all of the Wool
Dug a deep hole in My Back Yard.
And I Buried that Rag Hole Three Feet Deep
But in the Morning the Hole was empty
And the Rag Doll was gone
My Daughter Cindy had named that Evil Doll Ragamuffin.
Cindy couldn’t find Ragamuffin anywhere
She didn’t know that I had Buried that Doll of hate
I said that maybe Ragamuffin was on the School Bus
waiting for Her.
Cindy ran to the Bus and I saw Her waving at Me from the
Then She held up Ragamuffin who gave Me an Evil Grin.
That Satanic Doll is now on a Bus full of Kids.
Now to Part Two.
I run down the middle of the Road chasing that Bus.
But it is a futile exercise.
So with no Mobile Phone I race back Home to give the
School a call.
But what can I say?
‘My Daughter is on the way to your School along with
plenty of other Kids’
‘Oh and on board is the Devils Rag Doll’
‘The Rag Doll from Hell’
The Head Mistress would think I was a Nut Case.
A real Fruit Loop.
So I put the Phone down and go to the Garage.
Maybe I can catch that Bus.
After about Ten Minutes I am right behind a Yellow
But is this the right Bus?
There are Yellow School Buses everywhere.
But then that little Shit Ragamuffin appears at the
And gives Me an evil Smirk.
Then it bends over and gives Me the Moon.
I don’t know if You have ever seen a Rag Dolls Arse?
But it isn’t a pretty sight.
OK Ragamuffin so You wont to play Games
Well alright lets get it on.
The the School Bus starts to weave all over the Road.
At one stage I thought it was going to flip over.
But the Driver gets it under control.
Then it comes to a stop.
I race to the School Bus Door.
But it doesn’t open.
And then I can see why.
The Drivers Hands are tied to the Steering wheel with
strands of Wool.
But then the Door slides open and My Daughter appears.
I tell Her to come to Daddy.
But She cant because Her Feet are bound with Wool.
Then that deranged Rag Doll appears at Her Ankles.
And it yells at Me to back off.
I have noticed that Ragamuffin looks a bit different.
Then I realise why.
It is missing most of its Wool
I sneak a look up the Aisle.
And I can see about Thirty Five terrified Children.
All of them are tied and bound with Wool.
I didn’t think that one little Rag Doll could contain
so much Wool.
Then I sneak another look.
And I think that Ragamuffin has grown Taller.
And where the Wool is missing from its Chest.
I can see Armour Plating.
That is all I need a Rag Doll built like Robo Cop.
Then before I can do anything the Doors close.
And the Bus pulls away.
I race back to My Car
But by the time I can pull into Traffic.
I am confronted by Ten Yellow School Buses.
Which one do I follow?
I don’t know what to do.
Then I decide that the best course of action is to call
So I dial 911 and I tell the Operator that My Daughter and Thirty
Five other Kids have been abducted by a Madman.
I don’t mention the deranged Robo Cop Rag Doll.
A few Minutes later about Ten Police Cars arrive at the scene.
I tell them that the Kids are on a Yellow School Bus
And that they are all tied to their Seats.
And that so far no Ransom demands have been made.
One of the Cops tells Me to jump in the back of His
Then We are off in hot pursuit.
We come up behind a School Bus.
And Ragamuffin appears at the Back Window.
In the Half Hour since I last saw that Mad Hatter Rag Doll
Ragamuffin has grown a Foot taller.
IT now looks like a Rag Doll come Robo Cop come Ninja Turtle.
The Cop in the Front Seat mutters ‘What in the Fuck?”
So I come clean
And I tell Him all about Ragamuffin.
And how it has turned into a Feral Woollen Chucky.
Then the Bus pulls to the Curb.
And Ragamuffin yells out that He will talk to Me and nobody
So after discussing the situation with the Police.
I am suited up in Body Armour I make My way to the Bus.
I also have a Can of Butane and a Lighter in My Pocket.
As soon as I reach the School Bus the Door opens
And a gruesome sight awaits Me.
The Bus Driver has been Garrotted by a strand of Wool.
His Face is a Deep Purple colour.
And He has bitten right through His Tongue.
Then I walk on in
And halfway down the Aisle Ragamuffin is waiting
He holds up a Hand to tell Me to stop.
And then Ragamuffin speaks ‘Your Daughter is now Mine’
‘There is no stronger bond than a Girl and Her Doll’
While the crazy Doll has been talking I have Inched My way
I don’t know the Range of My Homemade Flamethrower.
So I Inch even closer.
Then I notice My Daughter sitting Three Seats back
Her Eyes are pleading for Help
Then I remember Cindy telling Me about the Schools
Earthquake Safety Plan.
When a Teacher calls out ‘Drop’
All Students are to fall to the ground and crawl into a Ball
I have Inched even closer
Than I tell that Crazy Deranged Child Stealing Rag Doll
‘There is a stronger Bond then a Girl and Her Doll”
‘And that is the Bond between a Father and Daughter”
Then I yell out Kids ‘Drop’
And they all hit the floor at once
And for a Second that Rag Doll is distracted
And that is all I need
I pull the Can of Butane from My Pocket
And I light it up.
And that Rag Doll disappears in a Ball of Flames.
And it Dies without a Sound
All of the Kids are safe and sound
And that is all that matters.
Cindy has had Nightmares for about Six Months
She refused to Sleep in Her own Bed
And to this Day She has never owned another Doll.