I was in My Kitchen just the other Day.
When I heard a scratching sound coming from the Pantry.
I thought it was a Mouse or maybe a Cockroach.
Eating all of My Food.
So I got a surprise when I opened the Pantry Door.
And about One Hundred little Moths flew out and filled
Man these Moths are fast Vaaroom.
I didn’t think must of it.
I grabbed a Can of Insect Spray.
And I sprayed it all around.
But the Moths weren’t affected at all.
It was like they were having a Shower.
They weaved back and forth like Prima Ballerinas
Dancing to the ‘Fight of the Bumblebee’.
It was like they were saying ‘You can spray all you want but you
will never beat Me’
Well I wasn’t beaten yet.
So I went to the Store and bought some Moth Baits.
The Moths are attracted to the Bait by a Female Pheremone.
Then they stick to the Glue surface.
Where they Die with silent Cries.
Those ugly little not quite Butterflies.
One by one those Moths fly into the Bait.
Like a Seagull swooping onto a Chip.
They land and are instantly stuck.
Being an ugly little Pantry Moth.
Really must suck.
I sit on My Lounge Chair.
And I celebrate with an Ice Cold Beer.
My House is now Officially Moth Free.
The Baits are full of Dead and Dying Moths.
They have all turned Black at the edges.
Like Modern Day American Goths.
I am still Celebrating.
Drinking My fifth Ice Cold Beer.
Then I Hear a ripping sound.
And one of those Moths flies free.
Then another and another.
Until My House is overcrowded with Moths.
Back from the Dead.
Maybe I should set another Bait?
But I have another Beer instead.
I am now Drinking My Fourteenth Liquid Amber.
And the Moths have all gone into hiding.
I go and check the Baits.
And they are covered with Legs Wings and a few Moth Heads.
Well I have had enough Action for one Night.
So I stagger off to Bed.
In the Morning I wake up feeling a little Seedy.
Then I remember what happened the Night before.
So I jump out of Bed expecting the worst.
I think My House will be overrun by those Winged Creatures.
Those Moths with the come back from the Dead features.
But there is nothing to be seen.
Maybe the Moths have gone next Door to the Weird Guys House?
That will give Him something to think about.
Hopefully one of the Moths will crawl up His Arse.
And build a Giant Nest.
Now that would be the Ultimate Pest.
Thank Christ none of the Reincarnated Moths are visible
to My Eye.
Have They gone Underground?
Will They re emerge in Fourteen Years time?
Just like the Cicadas do?
Or are they still out there
Trying to catch Me unawares.
I don’t know the answer to that question?
But Three Months have gone by and I haven’t seen a single
So I start to relax.
Maybe they have flown South for the Winter?
Or will they come back to My Place for the Summer?
Now wouldn’t that be a Bummer.
My Housemate has these large Containers of Muscle Building
Powders in the corner of the Kitchen.
;Whey Good’ ‘Muscle X’ and ‘Protein Plus’.
They promise to build Muscle mass and help with your endurance
And keep you nice and Healthy.
In case you have no Health Insurance
I am in My Kitchen making a Coffee.
Waiting for the Water to come to the Boil.
I am just staring out of the Window.
When once again I hear that scratching sound.
I look over at the Containers.
And just then One of the Lids Pops off.
And unleashes its contents of Deformed Mutant Moths.
Jesus those Muscle building Powders really do work.
Then Three more of the Container Lids pop off.
And more of those Mutant Moths fly out.
Some are missing a Leg or a Wing.
Some of them are even missing their Head.
They are now part of the Living Dead.
And that is the best part.
These Moths are no longer Moths.
Well they are.
But these Moth are now the size of a small Bird.
Something the size of Sparrow Robin or a Wren.
They are now huge Motherfuckers.
And they don’t have to pretend.
I now have One Hundred Bird sized Moths Flying around
I duck and weave like a Featherweight Fighter.
Well maybe a Middleweight.
I have put on a few Kilograms.
But I cant avoid being broadsided by a King sized Moth Punch.
The Pain is intense and I feel My Hip Bone snap and crunch.
I lay on the Living Room Floor in agony
I cant move or lift My Left Leg.
The Mutant Moths are Flying back and forth.
They are Flying so fast that they penetrate the Dry Wall.
And leave Tennis Ball sized Holes.
The Sunlight streams in.
When it really should be Outside.
The Mutant Moths that flew through the Wall.
Fly straight back Inside again.
Leaving more perforations.
My House is starting to look like a Giant Block of Swiss Cheese.
I grit My Teeth.
I struggle to My Knees.
I look down.
And I see that My Hip Bone has penetrated the Skin.
It is Whiter than White.
Just like the Bone on Lamb Shank.
Hopefully I can find an Escape Route.
I look up.
And My little Heart sank.
One of those Mutant Moths is now the size of a Kookaburra.
And it slams right into My Face.
So once again I am prostate on the Floor .
I cant take much more of this Mutant Moth bombardment.
I feel Myself starting to slip away.
Will I Live to Fight another Day?
The Mutant Moths are now Flying lower.
And they are dropping Gossamer Threads.
And slowly but surely I am being pinned down.
Just like that Gulliver from Lilliput.
I am soon covered from Head to Foot.
I am now at the mercy of those Mutant Moths.
Then One of them lands on My Chest.
It is the size of a small Dog.
We look at Each other Eye to Eye.
Then its Probiscus penetrates My Neck.
Am I now nothing more than Human Soup?
I try to fight against it.
But My Eyes lose all focus and start to droop.
Will the Mutant Moths win this encounter?
Or will I be able to bounce back?
To find out the answer to that question
You will have to come back and read Part Two.
Mutant Moths ‘Here To Stay’
Will they ever go away?