In the Undergrowth beneath a Canopy of Trees
A Female Giraffe is giving Birth.
The Mama Giraffe is Nervous and a bit scared
Predators are always looking for a Meal.
She has been in Labour for a few Hours.
But now Her Baby is here.
With a last Contraction and a final push.
She gives Birth.
When She bends down to clean Her Newborn.
She is taken aback.
She can hardly believe what She is seeing.
She looks over to the Father.
Like it is His fault.
Then She Screams’What the Heck?’
‘My Baby has no Neck’
The Baby Giraffe struggles to His Feet
He looks like a Calf with long Legs
Like a Baby Camel on Stilts
Or a little Foal Standing on Tippy Toe
But it is only a Baby Giraffe.
Well it is but it is only Half.
Mama Giraffe looks down once again at Her
And their Eyes meet.
Mama Giraffes Heart melts.
And She Licks Her Baby Clean.
Even though His Neck is a little on the short side
He is Her own Precious Baby Giraffe.
Even if it is only half.
The Baby Giraffe stands there waiting for His Mama
to give some Milk.
But it is to short to reach the Teat.
He strains to reach again.
Then His Mama squats down.
But still that Milk making pleasure Machine.
Is just a bit out of reach.
Then His Mamas Knees Buckle.
And the Baby half a Giraffe starts to Suckle.
After Drinking His fill.
The Baby half a Giraffe wanders off to explore His World
His Mama is still Splayed out struggling to get to Her Feet
But She finally makes it.
Her Legs feel like They are about to Snap.
Giraffes weren’t designed to bend down like that
She will have to think of another way to Feed Her Offspring
Jesus Her Knees are really starting to Sting.
The Baby half a Giraffe has had enough with Exploring
It is Time for another Taste of His Mamas Milk.
But once again He is having trouble reaching that Milk output
He Jumps up and down but He still cant make it.
He really could do with a Trampoline.
Because if He keeps Jumping like that He will burst a Spleen.
Mama Giraffe is getting worried.
The Baby half a Giraffe is laying on the Ground.
He hasn’t Drunk any Milk.
He needs to Drink every Two Hours or so.
Or He will start to Dehydrate.
Maybe He can Stand on a Plastic Crate?
Up in the Trees a Monkey has noticed the Mama Giraffes
So She Climbs down to offer some assistance.
She goes in between Mamas Hind Legs.
Grabs that Milk Vending Teat.
And takes Aim.
The Baby half a Giraffe is watching the Monkey
So He opens His Mouth.
And the Monkeys aim is true.
The Baby half a Giraffe Swallows every drop that He can
If He Drinks any more He will start to Float like Peter Pan.
With Hs Belly full the Baby half a Giraffe is satisfied.
But He wonders why He cant reach Mamas Milk naturally?
Why cant God make things easy?
And deliver Milk in a Carton.
The Baby half a Giraffe soon falls asleep
He Dreams that He is Tall just like His Mama
What is wrong with His Vertebrate?
Why is it running so late?
The Baby half a Giraffe wakes up with a Stomach Ache
Was there something wrong with the Milk?
Maybe He is Lactose Intolerant?
Maybe it is time to start on Solids?
After all He cant reach His Mamas Milk Dispensing Organ
Not without the help from the friendly Monkey.
Mabe the time is right to Eat something Green and Chunky.
But it is still way to early for the Baby half a Giraffe to start
Eating His Greens.
So with the help from the Friendly Monkey He continues to
Drink His Mamas Milk.
With no adverse reaction.
He is Growing Taller and Stronger
But sadly His Neck hasn’t grown any longer.
But He is Taller
So the Baby half a Giraffe reaches up with His Mouth
Maybe His Mama will have a Leakage problem?
And He can catch a few Drops?
SO He reaches and reaches.
And what do You know?
Houston We have Contact.
The Baby half a Giraffe for the first time in His Short Life
Is actually Drinking from His Mamas Milk Offloading
So He Drinks greedily before the Supply runs out.
But after a few Mouthfuls His Mama pulls away.
That would be right.
The first Time that He can Drink for Himself
His Mama cuts off His Supply
He looks to the Sky and Screams.
‘Why Mama why?’
But Mama knows best.
She has wandered off to a Grove of Trees
The Baby half a Giraffe has no choice but to follow
The Time is right for Him to start Eating Leaves Twigs
All of that Body Building Green Stuff
But God it is mighty tough
He watches as His Mama Eats
And He tries to follow Her Lead.
But the same old problem occurs
His Legs might have Grown
But His Legs sure as Shit hasn’t.
Those Leaves are just out of his reach
If the Baby half a Giraffe had a Neck
He would Hang it in shame
But some things stay the same.
Just then a Old Grey Tortoise comes to Rest under the
Baby half a Giraffes Feet.
The Tortoise Squats down.
And Gingerly the Baby half a Giraffe Steps up onto its
Then the Old Grey Tortoise Elevates Itself
And the Baby half a Giraffe starts to Chew on a Leaf for
the first Time in His Life.
Then He Eats another and another
And pretty soon He has Eaten His fill
On Wobbly Legs He Steps back down to the Ground
God He can barely move.
He must of put on Twenty Pound.
The Baby half a Giraffe continues to put on Weight
And He grows Taller Everyday
But His Neck still hasn’t grown one inch
Where His Shoulders end
His Head begins.
There is nothing in between
How can Mother Nature be so Mean?
The Baby half a Giraffe is feeling down in the Dumps
He isn’t paying attention to His Mama
So He doesn’t Hear Her Cry of Alarm
But then He feels a intense Pain in His Throat
He is being dragged up a Tree by a Big Cat with Spots
A Female Leopard for sure.
The Baby half a Giraffe cant Breathe
He cant take much more.
Both His Body and Legs are hanging over the side of the
The pressure on His Throat is intense
Then CLICK CLICK CLICK
He can feel Himself Stretching
His Vertebrate has Clicked into place
‘W hat the heck I have a Neck’
Then His Feet touch the Ground.
And He starts to Run.
And He pulls that Leopard clean out of the Tree
And luckily He Runs straight to His Mama and the rest
of the Herd.
The Leopard Snarls then disappears into the Scrub.
While Mama Giraffe Hugs Her Fully Grown Bub.
With His new Neck.
The Baby Giraffe feels Twenty Feet Tall
He only has a few Scars from His brush with Death
He bounces up and down with a new zest for Life
Is He Tall enough to find Himself a Wife?
He Runs around without a care in the World
He can finally reach even the highest of Branches
And His Mama has finally given Him a Name.