Monthly Archives: July 2016

My Blues ( Aint Blue No More )

29 Friday Jul 2016

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My Blues ( Aint Blue No More )

Now i am feeling kind of Beige.

I just Blend in with My Surroundings.

Beige is the Favourite Colour on all of the Walls.

I am the Beige in the Background.

 

And even though i am in plain Sight

No one seems to notice Me.

I am the Invisible Man.

Wrapped in Beige Bandages.

 

My Blues ( Aint Blue No More )

I Feel kind of Grey

A Grey Fog has entered My Mind

And it is messing with My Thinking

 

I Wear Grey Pants and Coat

Like a Funeral Director

I am Feeling down and heavy

Like a big Grey Cloud

Is Grey My Colour Now?

 

My Blues ( Aint Blue No More )

Now i feel kind of Yellow

I Said Yellow not Mellow

On the Exterior i might look like i am in Control

But in the Interior My Insides are doing Somersaults

 

My Life has Been a series of Slip Ups and Falls

Like i am Riding a Giant Yellow Banana Peel

 

A Yellow School Bus used to take Me to a Place

Where i didnt wont to be

And a Bright Yellow Raincoat never seemed to Protect Me.

 

My Blues ( Aint Blue No More )

I Think My Colour is Purple

Like One Giant Contusion

I am Purple to the Core.

 

Just like an Apple with a Purple Bruise

I am picked up than put back on the Shelf

Purple reminds Me of all the Bruises

That used to Cover My Body.

I was always getting Pushed around and Abused

I am just a purple Bruise.

 

My Blues ( Aint Blue No More )

I Feel kind of White

The Snow is Falling Outside

But i never Feel Snug and Tight

My Clean White Sheets

Remind Me of a Hospital Bed

Sometimes White can be very Stark

 

I am Blinded by the Whiteness

I am Writing this Story on White Paper

With My Snow Blind Eyes

Try as i Might

I dont really like White.

 

My Blues ( Aint Blue No More )

I Think i will try Tangerine

Tangerine isnt a Whole Colour

It is stuck Somewhere in between

Tangerine is the Colour of a Car

That Nobody wants to Buy

Do People really have Tangerine Dreams?

 

Tangerine is the Favourite Colour in Bryon Bay

Where People Live in a Dope Smoke Daze

The Smoke hangs Heavy in the Tangerine Sky

I sort of kind of like Tangerine

But at the same Time i dont

I dont wont to Dream in Tangerine

 

My Blues ( Aint Blue No More )

Now i am Red

Red like the Blood that is Flowing through My Veins

But i wont My Blood to Leave My Body

And Spray the Walls Red

 

But at the same Time Red is the Colour of some Flowers

And the Colour of My favourite Shirt.

But i cant stop Thinking about My Sheets Stained with Red

A Razor in My Hand Cutting and Slashing

And i wont stop until i can no longer See Red.

 

My Blues ( Aint Blue No More )

Because My favourite Colour is Black

When You Feel Black no other Colour matters

Black is the Ultimate.

Black is the Colour of Evil and Badness

 

Black is the Colour on the Dark Side of the Moon

Black is the Colour of a Killers Soul

Black is the Colour of the Blackest Black Hole

 

But then again You havent Seen Inside of My Head

That is the Blackest Place in the Universe

I Feel Blacker than Black

Is there a Darker Colour?

 

Cause if there is  i wont to know what it is

Because i do Feel Darker than Blue.

 

My Blues ( Are All Blue Again )

I Think i Will always be Blue

I am Tired of dealing with different Colours

Blue is the Colour for Me.

Rattlesnake?

24 Sunday Jul 2016

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Randall the Rattlesnake is on a Mission

After Hibernating for the Winter

He really needs something to Eat.

 

But while Randall has been Hibernating

A new Six Lane Highway has been built

Cutting His Hunting Ground in half

But what does Randall know about Highways

He is after all a Rattlesnake

 

Randall the Rattlesnake Slithers from His Winter Den

And Smells the Desert Air with His Forked Tongue

And He Smells Rat

 

So He heads off following His Tongue

He can feel the Heat from the Sun Warming His Body

Than He feels a strange hard surface beneath His Belly

Nothing like Sand at all.

 

He decides to keep going.

Hunger over rules every other Sense

So He Zig Zags real Fast to get to the Other side of the Road

He could Think that He is a Chicken

 

But before He can reach the other side

He feels a big Vibration underneath Him

Then He spots a Huge dark Shape Racing towards Him

 

Randall Slithers and Slides as Fast as He can

It is going to be a close call

Randall can feel the Sand beneath Him again

But His Tail is still on the Hard surface

Then He feels a Hit to His Rear Section

And when He Looks back He can See something that

belongs to Him.

One Squashed Rattle.

 

But Randall the Rattlesnake isnt to worried

He is in His favourite feeding spot

And when He sheds His Skin

The first Nodule of His new Rattle will have formed

 

Over the next few Months Randall has Shed His Skin

a few times.

But there is still no sign of a new Rattle

Now Randall is worried.

 

How can He be a Rattlesnake without a Rattle?

He can do nothing but watch as all the other Male Rattlesnakes

shake their Rattles.

To show who has the biggest and the loudest.

 

Plus how is He supposed to attract a Female without a Rattle?

You have to Shake Your Money Maker to Stand out from the Crowd

And His Money Maker is Squashed out on the Highway.

 

So Randall the Rattlesnake Fills His Belly with His favourite

Rodent.

Than He Silently Slithers away.

He is tired of all the Teasing and all the Talking behind His Back

 

 

 

Then He picks up a Smell that He doesnt like

The Smell of Humans

Normally He would avoid Them at all Costs

But than He Thinks again maybe They can help?

 

As He gets closer He gets a whiff of Marijuana

And the Sound of a Party

A couple of Girls are Dancing and Shaking a Noisy

Contraption.

A Contraption called Castanets.

 

After a while the Girls take a Break.

And the Castanets are dropped to the Ground

 

So Randall Slithers in and picks up the Castanets with His Tail

And just like a Snake in the Grass

He is out of there.

 

Randall the Rattlesnake Drags those Castanets all the way Home

And He is as proud as Punch

So He starts Shaking those Castanets

He is really going to Town.

 

All of the Female Rattlesnakes start to Dance

Cavorting all of their Scales.

They seem Primed for some Interaction.

 

But than one of the Male Rattlesnakes grabs the Castanets

And He Throws Them down a Steep Sad Dune.

Jealousy is Rife in the Rattlesnake World.

 

So now Randall the Rattlesnake will have to come up with

another Plan of Attack.

Maybe He could Play the Saxophone?

Or Strum a Serenade on the Guitar?

Or Maybe He could Sing a Lullaby with His Forked Tongue

 

But deep down Randall knows that Original is always best

So He will have to find another replacement Rattle

 

So once again He is on the Hunt for a new Tail Section

Something Sporty that will attract some Attention

Maybe get it lowered.

But than He remembers that He is a Rattlesnake

And there is nothing lower than a Snakes Belly.

 

So again Hr has to find a new Rattle

Surely there are Replacement Rattles somewhere?

Maybe Rattles R Us?

Or maybe He could Shop Online?

 

Randall is growing Tired from all the Rattle Hunting.

But He knows that He wont be a proper Rattlesnake without

a Rattle.

So He Heads off in Search of His Holy Grail.

And soon He finds Himself in the Human Settlement once

again.

Right Outside a Neon Sign.

 

He Looks up.

But a Rattlesnakes Eyesight isnt the best

About the same as Mr Magoo

But the Sign Reads ‘Discount Percussion Instruments’

 

Randall Slides right Inside

And He cant His Luck.

He Curls His Tail around some Charca’s and a Maraca than a

Triangle.

Andon His way out  He grabs Himself a Tambourine.

 

It takes a big effort.

But He finally arrives Home.

He Sets up all of His new Rattles.

And He starts to Play.

 

The Sound Fills the Desert Air.

Randall the Rattlesnake is a Natural

All of the other Rattlesnakes start to Groove and Undulate

They Dance and Move for Hours.

 

When the Instruments stop Playing

Silence fills the Air.

Well what did You expect

Snakes dont have Hands so They couldnt Clap

And They cant Stand up.

So there wasnt any Standing Ovation.

 

Then all of the Snakes Intertwine

And They make Happy in the Sand

Randall joins in.

And for the first time since He lost His Rattle

He feels part of the Group again.

 

Now Randall the Rattlesnake is very Happy

After Shedding His Skin Six more Times

The first Nodule of His new Tail has finally appeared.

 

Soon He will have a Brand New Rattle

Plus Four or Five Spares.

 

Plus His Percussion Instrument Playing has proven so Popular

He is going out on Tour

Who could ask for More?

Temporary Tomb

21 Thursday Jul 2016

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The Year is 2003 and Eight Year Old Tommy Tucker

is getting ready for School.

But it is taking Him forever to Comb His Hair and Tie

His Shoe Laces.

So now He is Running late.

 

He Kisses His Mummy Goodbye.

Then He races out of the Front Door

Maybe He can still catch the School Bus.

The Bus Stop is just around the Corner.

 

But when He reaches the Corner.

He Sees the Bus Disappearing up the Road

Tommy Jumps up and down waving His Arms about.

But it is no use the Bus keeps on going.

 

Tommy turns back towards Home.

Surely Mummy can take Me to School?

‘Hey Kid do You wont a lift to School?’

Tommy spins around at the Sound of the Voice.

 

Twenty Feet away a large Black Ford is Idling at the Kerb

A Hand is Waving Tommy over.

Tommy slowly approaches the Car.

He has heard all about Stranger Danger.

So He doesn’t get too close.

 

Tommy starts to reach for the Door Handle

Then He steps back.

He looks at the Driver again.

He looks Friendly enough just like His Daddy.

And He did promise Billy Baxter that They would Play

Handball before Class.

 

‘Your Mummy sent Me to take You to School

She knew You wouldn’t make the Bus

Jump in and i will have You there in Twenty Minutes’

 

So Tommy Tucker gets into the Car.

 

The Driver cant believe His Luck

This Boy looks a lot like His Son Simon.

Simon His lovely Son who Died Three Years ago

This Boy will be the perfect replacement

 

Tommy is looking out of the Window.

And He is pretty sure that They are going the Wrong way

Then He looks over at the Driver and He Cringes in Fear

The Driver is pointing a Knife His way.

‘Just Sit there and keep Your Mouth Shut and i wont Hurt You

I am Your new Daddy and You are My replacement Son

Sit tight and We will be Home soon.

 

Tommy is scared out of His Mind

His Mummy will realise that He didnt go to School

And She will be Mad.

And Billy Baxter will Think that He Ckickened out of Hand Ball

 

After a long Drive They arrive at a Farm in the Coffs Harbour

Hinterland.

The Driver drives up a long Winding Driveway.

Home Sweet Home

 

Tommy is too scared to Run

He is dragged inside and Tied to the Kitchen Table

His Abductor makes Him a Sandwich and Pours Him a Drink

 

Then He just Stands there watching Tommy Eat.

He cant believe how much like Simon He is.

This could be the One

He is really Feeling pleased with Himself

But than He has a second look

And He notices some slight differences

 

This Boys Nose is a bit longer

His Teeth are a bit Crooked

And His Hair isnt quite the Same

The little Bastard is trying to Trick Me.

 

Tommy is Backhanded across the Face

‘You Thought You could Fool Me

But You arent My Son

What have You done with Simon?’

 

Tommy doesn’t understand what the Crazy Man is Talking

about

And Who in the Hell is Simon?

 

Tommy is untied and Dragged Outside by the Hair

He is taken into the Backyard where the Abductor moves a

couple of Bricks holding down a Sheet of Corrugated Iron

Exposing a Metre Round Hole.

 

Tommy is told to Climb on down

Than the Abductor follows Him down

When Tommy touches Ground He finds Himself in a Old Mine Shaft

About the Size of a Small Bathroom

 

Tommy is Chained to a Steel Pole by the Ankle

With nothing but a Bucket for a Toilet

And a Old Lantern hanging on the Wall.

 

‘This is Your Punishment for trying to Deceive Me

I will bring You some Water Tomorrow

Dont Worry this is only Your Temporary Tomb

Once You have Died i will Bury You out in the Fields with

the Others’

 

‘Others?’

Tommy Hangs His Head and starts to Cry

He doesn’t want to Die down in this Shit Hole

Tommy Screams out for His Mummy but No One can Hear

 

The Abductor goes back Inside the Farmhouse and grabs

a Beer from the Fridge

Than He goes out to the Verandah to Drink it

His Eyes Glaze over as He Looks out to to the Fields

He can You Tell You exactly where He has Buried the other Nine

Boys.

 

Back at Tommy’s House His Mummy is doing some Housework

when Her Phone Rings.

She is Shocked when Tommy’s  Head Mistress Tells Her that Tommy

didn’t arrive at School

‘Is He at Home Sick?’

 

Tommy’s Mothers Heart Sinks.

She knows deep down that something is horribly wrong

Tommy is a Good Boy He wouldn’t Run Away

So She does the only thing She can do

She Calls Triple 000

 

She is surprised when Two Detectives Knock on the Door

This cant be good

She invites Them in and offers Them a Seat

They Introduce Themselves as Detectives Coverdale and Hughes

And They ask if She has a recent Photo of Tommy

 

Detective Coverdale Looks at the Photo and He doesnt like what

He Sees

He explains to Mrs Thompson that They Work in Missing Persons.

Then He Goes on to Say that ‘At the Moment We are treating Tommy’s

Disappearance as a Runaway’

 

Than He Tells Mrs Thompson that over the Past Three Years

Nine Young Boys Have gone Missing from the Coffs Harbour Area

And They all bear a strong Resemblance to Tommy.

 

Mrs Thompson starts to Sob

‘Please Tommy just come Home

Mummy isnt Mad You havent done anything wrong

Just come Home’

 

Tommy is Struggling to come to Terms with the Situation.

But He know’s that He will have to find a way to Escape

Otherwise He will Die in this Hell Hole

 

Inside the Farmhouse the Abductor is Disappointed

He really thought that this Boy was the One

But He knows One thing He will never stop Looking for Simon

 

Then He has another look out to His Fields

He Stands there Staring into Space

Where will He Bury the Boy down in the Hole?

 

Will Tommy Survive?

Will He find a way to Escape?

 

If You wont to know the Answers to the Questions

You will have to come back and Read Part Two.

 

 

 

28 Scarecrows ( Part Four )

15 Friday Jul 2016

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In Part Three

We sure Hylan the Scarecrow living in a run down Shack

Near Wangaratta.

He Sat on the Front Porch and Whispered into the Wind.

 

He is Calling the Human Victim of His Rape

Who has given Birth to His Son Pinnoch.

The first Homo Scarecrowian Born on Earth.

 

The Human Victim was a Young 17 year old  Named Sara Jane

She Hears that Voice on the Wind.

And Trance like She grabs Pinnoch and jumps on a Bus to

Wangaratta.

 

Hylans Whispers are also heard by the People of Wangaratta

And One Hundred vulnerable Locals also follow the Voice.

 

Sara Jane and Pinnoch arrive at Hylans Shack

Followed closely by the One Hundred Locals

 

A Black Crow also arrives.

But this isn’t an ordinary Bird

It is Mawkin the former Ruler of all the Scarecrows

And He wonts His Title back

The Title that Hylan Stole.

 

Mawkin calls to the Sky

And Forth Thousand Black Crowes descended onto the One

Hundred Locals

They are all Ripped to Shreds and Their Body parts carried away

 

Mawkin the Black Crow Transforms into a Seven Foot Scarecrow

He confronts Hylan.

And after an Epic Battle Mawkin is the Victor.

Hylans Heart is Consumed by Mawkin while it was still Beating.

So Hylan is Dead and He can never come back.

 

Mawkin Thinking that He is Safe takes His Eyes off the Black Birds

And One Thousand of them Swoop down

And They Eat Mawkins Wooden Body Splinter by Splinter.

Unfortunately Sara Jane also leaves the Safety of the Shack

And She is quickly Dispatched.

 

The only Survivor is Pinnoch the Baby Homo Scarecrowian.

who starts to Cry.

And His Cries are Heard by a passing Dingo.

The Dingo enters the Shack and picks up Pinnoch by the back

of the Neck and

 

Part Four.

The Dingo Trots back to His Den  with Pinnoch still in His

Mouth.

His Mate is Curled up Inside.

She has been waiting for a Meal all Day.

 

The Male Dingo drops Pinnoch to the Floor of the Den.

Then proceeds to tear off Pinnochs Clothing.

Pinnoch is squirming on the ground.

But He is Hungry and He sees a familiar sight.

So He clamps onto the Female Dingoes Teat.

 

The Female Dingo is surprised.

She thought that all of Her Pups had already been Weaned

But there is always a Runt of the Litter.

So She lays down to Suckle.

And with a Snarl She sends Her Mate off to find Food.

 

Meanwhile up in the Trees

The One Thousand Black Birds that Consumed Mawkins

Wooden Body.

Are all feeling uncomfortable.

It has been Four Hours since They Ate Mawkin.

And in that Time not One of Them has dropped a single Poop.

 

So up in the Trees the One Thousand Black Birds are Pushing

and Straining.

Beads of Sweat forms on their Feathers.

If only They could Sit down with a Newspaper.

 

After another few Hours huge Sighs of relief are heard coming from

the Branches.

Then 1000 Pellets of Crap hit the Forest Floor.

Back at the Den Pinnoch is settling in nicely

He has had a steady supply of Milk.

Plus He has had His first taste of fresh Meat.

He is instantly Addicted to the Blood.

He cant get enough of the stuff.

Then His Baby Teeth  turn into Razor sharp Incisors

And His Fingers turn into Claws.

 

Even though Pinnoch is only Fourteen Months Old

He is ready to explore and Conquer the World.

The Female Dingo is still allowing Him to Suckle

Even though His Teeth are getting very Sharp.

 

Pinnoch still Loves His Milk.

But He likes the Taste of Meat and Blood even better.

He Bites down on a Nipple a little too hard.

And the Female Dingo Yelps in Pain.

But Pinnoch just keeps Biting and Biting.

And the Female Dingo is Eaten Alive.

 

Pinnoch Crawls out of the Dingo Den.

He cant quite Walk yet.

He has already had His first Kill.

As He lays near the entrance to the Den He Hears a Sound

nearby.

It Sounds like a 1000 Bird Turds hitting the Ground.

 

A Couple of Days after the Birds dropped Their Wooden Pellets.

The Stuff starts to Metabilise and begin to Dance.

The 1000 Wooden Turds start to Float in the Air.

Then They all start to fall into place.

Like a Giant Scarecrow shaped Jigsaw Puzzle.

 

The Picture Clears and yes People

Mawkin the Ruler of all the Scarecrows is back.

But He is a bit Misshapen.

Some of those Black Crows must still be backed up.

 

Mawkin is missing His Nose an Ear and His Face is all Eschew

But He is still the Same old Mawkin.

He takes a Second to get His Bearings.

Then He Wanders off in the Direction of Hylans Shack.

In the Dingo Den Pinnoch has now completely Devoured the

Female Dingo

And has fallen asleep inside the Carcass.

Then He Hears the Male Dingo coming back from the Hunt.

 

As soon as the Male Dingo enters the Den He knows that something

is wrong.

As He goes to Sniff the Body of the Female Dingo.

Pinnoch Clamps onto His Throat and He doesn’t let go.

Soon the Male Dingo collapses to the Ground.

But He isn’t Dead.

 

He is just Unconscious.

Seeing that Pinnoch cant Walk yet He needs a Mode of Transport.

And a Dingo will do just fine.

So He Crawls up behind the Prone Dingo

And with a Thrust He sticks His Head up the Dingoes Rectum.

Then He Crawls Inside.

 

A few Minutes later the Dingo opens His Eyes and Tries to get to

His Feet.

But it is a Struggle.

It Feels like Something has Crawled up His Arse.

 

But then the Dingoes Eyes change from Brown to Green

Pinnoch is now in Charge

The Dingo/Pinnoch gets to His Feet.

And with a Yawn and a Shake of His Tail.

Pinnoch the Homo Scarecrowian leaves the Den.

 

Mawkin has made Himself at Home in Hylans Old Shack

He is slowly getting His Revenge on the Black Crowes.

Every now and then He will go Outside and Hold up His Arms

And Twenty Seven Black Birds will Land.

 

Then They are taken Inside and Consumed at Leisure.

A big pile of Bones is building up in the Corner.

Only 39,492 Black Crowes to go.

Burp.

 

As Mawkin Chews on a Wing He Pines for some Company

He Sniffs the Air with His non existent Nose.

But no Scarecrow Scent is Detected.

So Mawkin has a change of Plans.

 

He goes out to the back of the Shack.

He pulls down His Pants and starts to Fondle His fleshy Wooden

Penis.

Until it becomes Erect.

 

He Strokes faster and faster.

Than He feels the tension building up in His Wooden Nuts

He Aims His Erection Towards Wangaratta

And with a mighty Explosion 5 Million Scarecrow Sperm are

released into the Atmosphere.

A Wet Gooey Cloud of Semen is on its way to Town.

 

Any Female unlucky enough to be Outside that Day

Feels a strange sensation.

And even though They haven’t had Sex.

They all feel a Wetness in their Vaginas.

They have all been Impregnated with Scarecrow Sperm.

 

So in Nine Months time 142,349 Female Humans will give

Birth to 142,349 Homo Scarecrowian Babies.

 

Pinnoch the Dingo Trots away from the Den.

He has picked up a Scent.

A Smell from the Past.

The Smell of Scarecrow.

 

He Starts to Run faster.

He just follows His Nose.

Until He arrives at an Old Shack.

And Sitting on the Front Porch is the source of the Scent.

The only Living Scarecrow on the Planet.

 

As Pinnoch gets closer.

The figure on the Porch Stands up and Watches the Dingo

approach.

When the Dingo is about Ten Feet away.

It Squats as if to take a Shit.

 

Mawkin Thinks ‘Jesus go behind a Tree or something’

Then the Dingo gives out a Strangled Yelp.

And a Baby falls from its Arsehole and lands on the Ground.

 

Mawkin recognises the Baby as Hylans Son Pinnoch

The first Homo Scarecrowian Born on Earth.

He Runs forward and picks Pinnoch up.

Whew He really could do with a Bath.

 

With Pinnoch is having a Wash in the Kitchen Sink

Mawkin looks out of the Window and notices a Shitload of

Black Crowes gathering amongst the Clouds.

39,290 Black Birds are Circling.

 

Mawkin grabs Pinnoch.

Then He goes Outside to keep an Eye on the Birds.

 

1000 of the Black Crowes has formed a Daisy Chain.

The First One is holding a Power Line.

While the rest Swoop down towards Mawkin and Pinnoch.

 

Mawkin is still holding Pinnoch.

They see the Birds coming and try to Run back into the Shack

But They don’t quite make it.

And because Pinnochs Body is still Wet

An Arc of Electricity slams into Them.

And Mawkin and Pinnoch plus the 1000 Black Crowes are Fried.

 

Mawkin and Pinnoch are thrown Forty Feet

And Land in a Weed filled Garden.

Mawkin and Pinnoch are now nothing more than your average

Garden variety Scarecrows.

Now They will guard this Garden for Eternity.

 

In Wangaratta 142,349 Females have got Morning Sickness.

How will They explain this to Their Husbands and Boyfriends.

 

Well if You wont to know the answer

Come back and Read Part Five The Finale.

 

 

The Word Of A Bird

08 Friday Jul 2016

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After  a recent Retrenchment.

I decided to move West and try My luck

Maybe get a Job in the Mines.

Or maybe in Construction.

Western Australia is Booming right now

And I want to be part of the Action.

 

So I Rent out My House.

Pack up a few belongings a Swag

and some Camping Gear.

I jump into My trusty Corolla

I say Goodbye to the East Coast.

Then I Drive off chasing a Dream.

 

Only 4000 Kilometres to go

I will be a brand new Man with a clean Slate

A Person couldn’t ask for more.

But after Driving for Six Hours it is Time for a Rest.

And a little something to Eat.

 

Ten Minutes later I reach Broken Hill.

I grab a Burger and a Coke.

Then I walk across the Road to a local Park

To fill My Stomach and enjoy the Scenery.

 

So I Sit at some Table and Chairs under a Gum Tree.

And I start to Eat.

Then from out of nowhere a Kookaburra lands on

the Table.

Just Three Feet away.

Then it is joined by a Magpie and a Galah

Soon a Parrot a Falcon and an Eagle

Decide to join the Party.

 

So now I have Six Birds sharing My Table.

I offer Them some of My Burger

but they don’t seem interested.

Then They all start to Talk all at once

God They are making one Hell of a Racket.

 

So feeling a little like Dr Doolittle

I hold up My Hands for Silence.

And what do You know They all quieten down at once

I point at the Kookaburra and tell it to start Talking

 

Then I put My Hand down on the Table

And the Kookaburra walks over to it and Crawls up My Arm

Until it reaches My Shoulder.

Then it starts to Chatter in My Ear.

 

The Magpie jumps onto My other Shoulder

And starts to Talk into My Left Ear.

I cant believe that I am Sitting here Listening to the

Word of a Bird.

 

After about Five Minutes all of the Birds have had Their Say

The Six of them stand there looking up at Me.

I don’t know what to do.

But I know that I cant Sit here all Day.

 

I Stand up to go back to My Car

And all of the Six Birds start to Caw and Squawk and well Talk.

But what are They Saying?

They seem very agitated.

Are They giving Me some sort of warning?

 

But I have to be on My way.

The Birds Fly ahead and land on My Roof Racks

I Climb in and Drive away real slow.

I don’t want to startle the Birds.

 

The Six Birds take off and circle My Car for awhile

Then They disappear from Sight.

 

God that was a little Creepy.

But I put it out of My Mind and continue on My way.

And I am soon caught behind a Road Train.

These things are Three Trailers long

And take forever to pass.

 

 

I put My Foot down and start to Overtake

Then My Windscreen is hit by a Blob of Bird Shit

Then another and another.

Soon My Windscreen is full of Bird Crap

My Wipers cant cope with the bombardment

So I am forced to pull over.

 

As soon as I come to a standstill the Road Train loses control

I watch as it swerves all over the Road.

Then it Jack knifes in a Cloud of Orange Dust.

Than it slams down on its Side.

 

I immediately jump out of My Car.

And those Six Birds are once again on My Roof Racks

And They all start to Talk at once

I race to the aid of the Truck Driver

And I am relieved to see Him Climb out of His Cabin

uninjured.

 

The Drivers Name is Dave

On His way to Adelaide with a load of perishable Food.

Now He is Sitting in My Car waiting for the Police.

 

Then the Six Birds  land on My Bonnet.

And They look in at Us Chattering away.

My Six Feathered Friends are here.

 

Dave jumps back in Shock at the sight of this strange bunch

I explain to Him how they befriended Me back at Broken Hill

And have been following Me ever since.

 

Then I realise that if those Six Birds didn’t Crap all over My

Windscreen.

I wouldn’t of Stopped.

So more than likely I would now be Squashed  under the Road

Train.

So I owe these Six Birds big time.

 

After an Hour or so the Police arrive.

I Tell what I saw regarding the Accident.

They take down My details and send Me on My way.

 

My Six Feathered Friends have retreated to some Power Lines

They sit there watching Me get back into My Car.

I am about to Drive off when I reach back and open the Rear Door.

Then I wait.

And sure enough They all Fly down and land on My Back Seat.

Then I put the Car in Gear and Drive away.

Next stop Ceduna.

 

Every couple of Hours I stop and let the Birds do Their Business

And have a feed on some Seeds or Roadkill

While I have a Cup of Coffee and a Ham Sandwich.

When it is Time to go I open the Rear Door.

And the Gang of Six Fly right in.

 

When we reach Ceduna I fill the Car with Petrol

Then Drive towards the next Stop.

Port Lincoln.

A Five Hour Drive.

 

After a Couple of Hours it is Time for another Pit Stop.

I Drive a couple of hundred Metres down this Dirt Track.

I open the Door and the Birds Fly out to do what They have

to do.

While I wander off a few Metres to take a Leak.

I have just Zipped up when I sense movement on My right hand

side.

A huge Brown Snake Slams into Me and Bites down on My Calf.

Then it fills Me with Venom.

 

I know straightaway that I am in big trouble

I roll up My Pants Leg and see the Bite Marks

I don’t know Who I am Talking too

But I Scream out ‘Tourniquet’

The Kookaburra lands on My Knee.

Inspects My Injury.

Then it Flies to My Car then comes back with a Leather Belt.

 

I tighten the Belt above the Bite Zone

But My Lips start to Tingle and My Sin is turning Blue

I am Sweating Buckets and start to lose consciousness

Then I don’t remember a thing.

 

I wake up Shaking feeling all Hot and Cold at the same time

Then I feel something Wet on My Lips.

I open My Eyes and See the Magpie tapping My Mouth with

its Beak.

I open up and taste the sweet Water dribbling down My Throat.

 

I feel some Pain in My Leg

So I loosen the Belt a notch or Two to let My Blood flow

I don’t want to get Gangrene and lose My Leg.

Or worse still.

Die out here in the middle of nowhere.

 

I wish I didn’t Drive off the Highway.

Now I wont be seen by any passing Trucks or Cars

If I am to Survive I will have to Save Myself

With some help from My Six Feathered Guardian Angels

 

I drift in and out of Consciousness.

In one of My lucid Moments I notice the Eagle picking at

some Roadkill

Than it Flies over and Lands on My Chest

And even though I know what is about to happen

I am too weak to stop it.

The Eagle pushes open My Mouth with its Beak.

And feeds Me regurgitated Roadkill.

 

Over the next few Days my Six Feathered Friends

take it in turns to feed Me and give Me Water.

 

By the Fourth Day I am feeling a whole lot better.

The Venom is finally leaving My System.

I manage to prop Myself up against a Tree

My Leg is almost back to Normal

 

Then I Hear an almighty Grunt coming from a Bush Twenty

Feet away.

Jesus what now?

The Six Birds take off into the Trees

 

Then a Huge Male Razorback emerges

It must weigh 100 Kilos or more and has Tusks 20 centimetres

long.

Good for digging up the Ground.

And Disembowelling Humans.

 

Our Eyes meet.

Than with a Squeal it Charges

 

Will I survive the Bush Pig Attack?

If I don’t who will Write Part Two?

 

 

 

28 Scarecrows (Part Three)

01 Friday Jul 2016

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In Part Two of this Story.

Mawkin The Ruler of all the Scarecrows and Mommet

plus a Trusted Scarecrow Named Hylan.

Terrorised a Small Town in Victoria Australia.

A Town Named Talbot.

 

Another 25 Scarecrows were left behind up in the Hills.

With he promise that Human Flesh would be provided

But Mawkin went back on His Word.

And the 25 Scarecrows Died and reverted back to Everyday

Wooden Scarecrows.

 

Mommet was Jealous of Mawkins Status.

And He tried to Overthrow Mawkin.

But Mawkin got in first and ripped open Mommets Chest

And proceeded to Eat the still Beating Heart.

So now Mommet is now nothing more than a pile of Sawdust.

 

Hylan meanwhile has snuck into a Bedroom

And Impregnated a Seventeen Year Old Virgin.

The Virgin had a Dream that She had had Sex with Something

that looked like a Scarecrow

Could it be true?

 

Hylan also wonts to be the Ruler of all the Scarecrows

And seeing that Mawkin trusts Hylan

He doesn’t imagine any threat.

So Hylan is able to get up nice and close.

He pierces Mawkins Chest and rips out His Heart

But He makes a huge Mistake.

 

To Kill a Scarecrow you have to Eat the Heart while it is

still Beating.

But Hylan just threw the Heart to the Ground.

Now Mawkin is caught somewhere between Life and Death.

And He is Itching for Revenge.

 

Hylan caught a Bus to destination unknown

And Nine Months later the Virgin gave Birth to the first

Homo Scarecrowian Born on Earth.

A Mawkin is hovering in a Vortex of Destruction.

 

Now to Part Three.

Nine Hundred Kilometres away from Talbot.

Hylan is holed up in a Rundown Shack on the outskirts

of Wangaratta.

He has Survived on Roadkill and the odd Wallaby.

 

Lately He has been thinking about the Virgin that He left behind

in Talbot

Plus the Baby Homo Scarecrowian.

So He Sits on the Floor of the Shack.

He crosses His Legs and starts to Chant.

 

‘This the Father of Your Baby

I am Hylan Ruler of all the Scarecrows

You are to come to Me immediately

Just pack a few things

And get here as fast as You can

I will guide You all the way

Leave now’

 

The Seventeen Year Old is sitting at Home Nursing

Her Baby.

When She starts to Hear a Voice on the Wind.

She is Transfixed and straight away jumps to Her

Feet and starts to Pack.

 

She wraps Her Baby in a Shawl

And She Walks out of the Font Door.

She doesn’t even say Goodbye.

 

Her Name is Sara Jane and Her Baby is Named Pinochino

Because He is after al Half Scarecrow

All Wooden and stiff.

 

Sara Janes jumps on to a Bus that is heading North.

The Voice is telling Her which way to go.

So She relaxes and enjoys the Ride.

Even Pinnoch is Happy

He seems to know that He is going to see His Daddy.

 

500 Kilometres away a Black Crow is busy digging up

Worms and Grubs.

When He to Hears a Scarecrow Voice on the Wind

A Voice from the Past.

The Voice of His Nemesis.

 

With a flurry of Wings

The Black Crow Screeches at the Sky

Then He Twirls around like a Tornado

And from the Eye of that Tornado

A Seven Foot Winged Scarecrow emerges.

 

Mawkin is back from the almost Dead.

Now He just has to follow that Voice.

And Hylan will Die an Agonising Death.

 

Sara Jane and Pinnoch are close to Their Destination

The Voice tells Them

‘Get off the Bus at the Intersection right near an old Garage

Walk down the Gravel Road and I will be waiting’

 

Hylan is Sitting on the Back Porch Channelling His Thoughts

He knows that Sara Jane and Pinnoch are very close

He Sits there Scratching His Stubble that is full of Splinters

He likes having People in the Palm of His Hand

So He starts to Chant again.

 

‘People this is your Prophet Hylan come and join Me

You can be my Disciples and I will show you the way

So leave now and join Me in the Promised Land

Just listen to the Wind and follow My Words’

 

Mawkin is also listening to the Wind

He is getting closer to His revenge

So He keeps on listening to Hone in on the Location

Then He takes to the Wing with a Smile on His Beak

 

The People of Wangaratta are just going about Their Day

The vulnerable among Them start to Listen to a Voice

mingling in the Leaves.

A Voice that draws them in like a Moth to a Flame.

 

Sara Jane is walking down the Gravel Road carrying Pinnoch

Part of Her Brain is telling Her to Run like Hell

But She cant resist the Power of the Voice

So She keeps on Walking.

 

She is soon joined by Twenty Others

And when She looks over Her Shoulder

Thirty more are close behind.

They all Walk forward in a Trance

Like the Condemned going to the Guillotine

Like Lambs to the Slaughter.

 

Hylan Stands on His Front Porch watching all the People

approach

Sara Jane and Pinnoch are in are in the lead closely followed

by One Hundred vulnerable Locals.

He steps forward to take Pinnoch from Sara Jane

He is as proud as Punch.

The one and only Homo Scarecrowian on Earth.

And He is My Son.

 

Sara Jane and the Locals all mill around in Confusion

Then Hylan hols out His Hands to welcome the Converts

into the Fold

A Hush falls over the Crowd as Hylan Speaks

 

‘Welcome to My Commune

I am Hylan Ruler of all the Scarecrows

I am Your Saviour Your guiding Light

Trust Me and I will show You the way to a better Place’

 

The Humans are Stupified

What is all this Talk about Scarecrows?

Then They all kook at the Master and They notice His Wooden

appearance

Then They See His Razor sharp Teeth

And His long Finger Nail Claws

 

They Thought They were on their way to the Promised Land

But They have all arrived in Hell

 

If only They knew what Hylan has install for Them

They are not to be His Subjects or His Disciples

They are nothing more then Hylans Food Supply

They will all be Consumed so that the Homo Scarecrowians

can grow and prosper

 

Just then a single Black Crow Lands on a nearby Tree

Mawkin has arrived to regain His Crown

He looks to the Heavens spreads His Wings and Screeches

at the Sky.

 

All of the Clouds turn Black and nasty

The Air is charged with Ions

But there is no Storm on the way

The Sky is Black for another Reason

 

Forty Thousand Black Crowes have gathered at Mawkins

Command

Then Mawkin points His Wings to the Ground

And Screams like a Banshee

 

The Forty Thousand Black Birds Dive down on to the Humans

Below

Then They start to Peek and Claw in a vicious attack

 

The Hundred Humans below don’t stand a chance against

Forty Thousand crazed Birds.

And soon they are decimated.

Body parts are torn off and carried away

One Hundred Human Beings have just been Slaughtered

in this Godforsaken Place.

 

Hylan Stands there watching the Carnage take place

His Food source no longer Exists.

He knows that Mawkin is here

And this time He wont Run.

He will Stand and Fight.

 

But He can barely react when He is set upon

Mawkin has Transformed into the Seven Foot Winged

Scarecrow.

Mawkin and Hylan Fight Claw and Tussle for Life or Death

For over Thirty Minutes They Fight

They are both covered in Cuts and Blood

 

Then Hylan feels mawkins Claws enter His Chest

His Ribcage is Torn apart

His Heart is removed from His Body

 

Hylan can only Stand there and watch as Mawkin Eats His

Still Beating Heart

Then He falls Dead to the Ground.

Mawkin is disappointed He expected more of a Fight

It just goes to show that He is the True Leader of all the

Scarecrows

 

Hylan was nothing more than a pretender

Now He is nothing more than a dried out Husk

A Tumble Weed blowing in the Wind.

 

Mawkin is still Basking in the Glory.

So He doesn’t notice the Black Crowes that have mistaken Him

for  Human.

And They converge en masse

 

Mawkin can do nothing as a Thousand Black Birds Consume

His Wooden Body.

Limb by Limb

Splinter by Splinter

 

In the Shack Jane has Her Hands over Pinnochs Eyes

It is like She is Living in a Horror Movie

She sits there for a couple of Days

Waiting and hoping that the Black Birds have gone away

She looks out of the Window.

And there isn’t a Bird in sight

 

She leaves Pinnoch laying on the Bed

And steps Outside to have a Look around

But She has taken a few too many Steps

When One Hundred Black Crowes descend

 

They have been Smelling Her Sweat and Fear

Just waiting for Her to step Outside

 

Sara Jane senses

the danger but just a little too late

Before She can reach the safety of the Shack

The One Hundred Black Crowes are on Her

Thankfully Sara Jane is dispatched quickly

And within an Hour She is Picked Clean.

The only thing left behind is Her Bones

 

Inside the Shack Pinnoch begins to Cry

And He Cries and Cries for Hours

His Whimpers are heard by a passing Dingo

Who Walks straight in the Door Sniffing the Air

 

He Walks straight up to Pinnoch

And lifts Him up by the Back of the Neck and

 

Will Pinnoch Survive?

Does the Dingo Eat the Baby?

To find out the Answers

You will have to come back and Read Part Four.