Sid the giant squid is having a very nice day
He is cruising around the ocean floor looking for something
Sid isn’t a very fussy eater.
He will eat anything that floats down from the surface.
Fish crab shark or whale you name it and Sid will eat it.
Dead or alive it doesn’t really matter.
But at the moment Sid is watching the calories.
He will eat anything without the batter.
Sid is giving mother nature a helping hand.
He is the oceans floor vacuum cleaner.
Day after day he sucks up any morsel of flesh big or small
Before it has a chance to rot and foul the water.
Sid lives way down deep near Davey Jones locker.
But it is dark and boring down there.
So sometimes he will swim up from the depths for a change
He swims right up close to a clump of surface kelp and checks
But Sid the giant squid is a carnivore so he doesn’t eat the greenery.
Than he spies a shoal of sardines off in the distance.
Sid erupts like a torpedo and scares the crap out of those little fish.
Sid the giant squid is usually a gentle soul
But when you are hungry sometimes you have to be mean.
Plus the little sardines make great toothpicks to keep Sid’s teeth nice
Than he remembers that a giant squids feeding parts are on the back end
So he backs up and points his mouth at the fleeing fish
After a brief chase Sid catches all of those sardines like a soccer goalie.
Sid swallows thousands of those fish holy moly.
Than Sid swims back down to his safety zone because squids are happiest
eating on the ocean floor.
Where they can attack from below and rip their victim apart with their beak.
The ocean floor is no place for the slow scared or meek.
When Sid swallowed down the sardines he also swallowed a whole lot of water.
Water contaminated by human activity.
A crude oil tanker has left behind a mile long slick.
And Sid has ingested most of it so he isn’t feeling very good.
In fact Sid the giant squid is very very sick
Why are human beings as thick as a brick?
All Sid can do is lay low on the ocean floor and wait for the oil to leave his system
The oil has fouled his gills so Sid is finding it hard to breathe.
Sid the giant squid is in one hell of a fix.
Because as we all know oil and water don’t mix
Sid is sick because of human greed and their never ending need for material
They fire up their factories and discharge pollutants into the oceans and rivers
Humans beings are a race of takers.
There sure as fuck aren’t many givers.
After about a week Sid is feeling a whole lot better.
He has started to hunt and eat again.
But now now he is a lot more selective because he doesn’t want to get sick
Surely the pollutants cant reach down to the depths?
So he scours the ocean floor hunting and feeding.
While way up above the world is decaying and bleeding.
Sid the giant squid is now back to his old self.
So he decides to go exploring and catch up with friends
Soon he comes upon Mrytle the green turtle just up ahead.
But he notices that she isn’t swimming properly in fact she is
Mrytle is in trouble all because of human stupidity and buggling.
Mrytle is tangled up in a shitload of fishing line.
Plus she has swallowed plastic bags because they look just like a
tasty jelly fish.
The plastic bags make Mrytle think that she is full so she stops
Human beings really really need a good beating.
The human race is hurting the animal kingdom and now it is Mrytle’s
She is feeling mighty peculiar and she doesn’t know why.
For Mrytle the green turtle there is no chance of recovery.
Human beings have just killed off another favourite daughter.
All because they continue to fuck up and pollute the water.
Sid knows that he cant do anything for Mrytle she is beyond
He sheds a tear as he watches his friend drift away to die.
Through no fault of her own Mrytle has died an agonising death.
All she ever wanted was to swim wild and free.
She died because of the ignorance of mankind.
And that includes you and me.
Once again Sid goes back to the safety of the ocean floor.
He has heard about the beings who live out of the water
And how they think that they are so superior to all other animal
If i had five dollars that is five dollars more than human beings
He has also heard of the word calamari sliced up squid crumbed and
Served with fries and a slice of lemon.
Sid the giant squid shivers in disgust as he thinks about all that
slicing and dicing.
Because once there are no more giant squid left alive
It would be like having a cake without any icing.
Sid the giant squid is hungry all of the time.
So once again he is looking out for an easy meal.
But he cant find anything of substance just a few crumbs here and
As Sid looks up towards the surface he lets out a heartfelt moan.
Because once he swims straight into the danger zone.
He slips in and out of the sunlight like a giant mother of pearl.
A boat is trawling for fish with a huge drift net.
These nets can catch thousands of ton of fish and any other creature
that cant get out of the way.
Sid casts his huge round eyes all over the fishing boat and he starts to frown.
Because one way or another that boat is going down.
First he uses his tentacles to untie the net from the boat.
The humans onboard watch as their catch drifts away.
The fish swim to where they should be.
Swimming in the ocean wild and free.
Sid uses the diversion of the drifting net to grab hold of the stern of the
He lifts it out of the water than gravity takes hold and the boat slips under.
Sid pulls it down all the way to the bottom where it can no longer do any
The boat hits the ocean floor with a mighty crash.
And a nasty bit of gravel rash.
On the way down Sid noticed the humans making their escape.
But he doesn’t try to harm them as they swim to safety.
Because Sid the giant squid doesn’t kill for the hell of it
He only kills when he needs food.
Unlike human beings Sid only kills to stay alive.
He doesn’t need to eat everything alive.
Sid knows that the humans will be back to try and salvage the net.
And they will contaminate the water with oil fishing line and
They just cant help themselves.
Sid the giant squid knows that it will be a never ending battle to keep
the oceans free from human activity.
If only he could find a way to keep humans in captivity.