Today is a very special day for me.
It is my 78th birthday.
I jump out of bed as fast as i can.
But it isn’t that easy at my age.
Than i sit at the kitchen and drink a
hot cup of tea.
As i sit there my mind starts to look back
All i have now is half remembered memories.
Well i cant sit here all day.
Maybe someone will pay me a visit?
I will have to make sure that the house is nice and clean
Surely my son and daughter will bring the grandchildren
I haven’t seen them in quite a long time.
The only person who visits is the nice lady from meals on wheels.
I wonder if she knows how lonliness feels?
I go from room to room tidying as i go.
Than i comb my hair and brush my teeth.
And use some aftershave.
Now all i can do is wait.
Hang on was that a knock on the front door?
I rush to open it up but there is nobody there
Just a lot of undisturbed air.
I sit on my lounge and turn on the TV
I need to calm down.
There will be a phone call any minute.
Than i hear a noise coming from upstairs.
It sounded like foot steps up in the attic.
As i make my way towards that upper room
My heart is beating fast boom boom boom.
When i enter the attic all i see is dust motes and cob webs
I haven’t been up here in more than twenty years.
Nobody is up here except maybe some ghosts.
Even though the attic is full of memories.
I am starting to have second thoughts.
Because as you know not all memories are good.
Than i notice a favourite piece of wood.
In the corner near an old possum nest is my old cricket
I pick it up and start to play some shots.
Than my arthritis tells me that i am not twenty one anymore.
I sit down on an old wooden chest and think back.
And my face does something it hasn’t done for a while.
It transforms itself and turns into a smile.
Near my feet lies an old rubber ball.
That belonged to a neighbours dog that adopted me as it’s owner.
It was old and cranky with a grey muzzle.
But to me Cass was always kind and gentle.
A black doberman Cass was the best dog in the world.
We used to run around and play in the park.
And as i listen now i can still hear him bark.
I hang my head as i think back.
Than i feel a change in the air.
I look up to see the dust motes dancing and forming shapes.
I see my late wife Cindy in her wedding dress
She was always glowing as pretty as a picture.
I start to weep god i really miss her.
About a decade ago Cindy found a lump in her breast.
She fought the best that she could.
But cancer is a really hard disease to beat.
The radiation and chemo took a heavy toll on her body.
And just three months after the diagnosis
My darling Cindy was gone.
Taken by that god awful disease.
With a heavy heart i fall to my knees.
The dust motes are still dancing and mingling with the moon
And my deceased brother and sister appear.
Greg is riding his motorbike.
While Sue is cuddling her kids.
They are both doing what they liked to do the most.
Greg rode his motorbike into heaven.
And 28 years later Sue joined him in the big sky.
Both of them were taken way too soon.
The dust motes still dance and swoon.
As i look at those dust motes.
My brother and sister sort of fade away.
I want to run into those motes and make them re arrange
How dare those motes take my brother and sister away again.
But i know that one day i will once again see my brother sister
Because after death there is life.
The dust has finally settled.
But my memories are still strong.
The attic to the past has stirred up a lot of thoughts.
Memories of long lost souls.
Names and faces that i will never forget as long as i live.
Why do people have to die?
I head back downstairs before i start to cry.
I turn on the kettle and have another cup of tea.
Before my offspring and grand children arrive.
Hopefully they will bring beer and some chocolate cake.
I go and make myself a sandwich.
But as i eat my brain has too much time to think.
I wash my thoughts and dishes down the sink.
Three o’clock and my phone still hasn’t rung.
Maybe my family is stuck in heavy traffic?
Or they are still shopping for my present?
But deep down in my heart i know that they have forgotten
My family will not visit for my birthday.
I will just have to celebrate alone.
There isn’t any birthday cake or candles to blow out.
Nor any presents to unwrap.
So i just lie down and have a little nap.
But i cant sleep.
All i can think about is that attic to the past.
I was happy sitting there amongst the dust motes.
So i go back upstairs to that special room
I sit on that wooden chest but nothing happens
The dust motes and the magic has gone.
The attic is now nothing more than a room full of mould.
I just slink downstairs to my lonely little household.
I sit in my chair watching the sun go down.
Waiting for my TV dinner to cook in the oven.
Than i will have an early night.
Or maybe have a few beers to drown my sorrows
Than headlights appears in the driveway.
My loving family is finally here.
I am really had any doubts.
From feeling way down in the dumps.
I am now way up in the clouds.
And they say that every cloud has a sliver lining.
And even though it is dark.
The sun is surely shining.
Hugs and kisses are exchanged.
And i confess that i didn’t think that they were coming.
That i was just about to go to bed.
My daughter pipes up ‘But dad i told you that we are taking
you out for chinese’
‘So go grab your jacket we have a birthday to celebrate’
‘I have booked a table and we dont want to be late’
The grand Kids are jumping up and down raring to go.
I grab my keys and jacket and head out the door.
Surrounded by my loving family.
But i cant resist one last look up to that attic to the past.
I know that my memories will last and last.
Memories remind you of your yesterdays.
But you cant live in the past.
You have to live in the here and now.
So i close my front door.
And we all head on our way
To celebrate my 78th birthday.