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In part one i told you all about the cereal killers lurking in
your pantry and on the supermarket shelves.
So throw out the cereal in your pantry and leave them on the
shelf.
Because cereal really is a killer.
Part Two
Robert Summerhill is enjoying a rare day off work.
He is employed at the local sawmill but it is good to have some down time.
Robert amazingly still has all his fingers and thumbs attached.
But at the moment he isn’t thinking about work.
He is preparing his favourite breakfast.
A huge bowl of rice puffs.
Robert is 39 years old now and he has had a bowl of rice puffs every
morning since he was five.
He knows that rice puffs are really only for kids.
But he just cant help himself.
They taste so damn fine.
Like a little piece of heaven.
Robert is seated at the kitchen table enjoying his tasty treat.
But he is eating way too fast.
And one of those little rice puffs escapes his spoon and lands in
his beard.
And it burrows in deep.
After washing the dish’es Robert goes about his day.
He runs some errands and has lunch with some friends.
He returns home to mow the lawn before relaxing on the lounge.
After a few hours watching some TV he has something to eat.
Before brushing his teeth and going to bed.
Twenty minutes later there is some movement in his beard.
That little rice puff is on the march.
Slowly it makes its way up Roberts face before entering Roberts
left nostril.
But it doesn’t stop there.
It keeps on burrowing until it pierces Roberts Brain.
In the morning Robert wakes up with a splitting headache.
And a nasty nose bleed.
He takes two panadol and plugs his nostril with toilet paper.
Today is a work day so he sits down to have a bowl of rice puffs
But he isn’t feeling himself today and after a couple of spoonfuls
he pushes the bowl away.
And has a cup of coffee instead.
Driving to work Robert really isn’t feeling well.
His head is still throbbing and his nose is still bleeding.
Plus his right hand is starting to shake like it has a mind of its own.
But Robert isn’t that worried he probably just has some hay fever
or something.
Arriving at work Roberts workmates tell him that he looks like shit
and maybe he should go back home.
But Robert is the only employee with experience on the band saw.
So he decides to stay so all of the orders are filled.
Robert takes a few more panadol and walks over to the band saw and
turns it on.
All of a sudden his head feels like it is going to explode.
He is seeing spots before his eyes and his right hand is starting
to shake again.
Robert feels detached from the whole situation he is there but at the same time
he isn’t
His right hand has now taken control of his body.
Robert is powerless to stop what is about to happen
With one slice his left arm is detached at the elbow.
Than he has another go and his whole arm disappears in a blood red mist.
Robert takes one of his last breaths he climbs up onto the band saw and
severs his left leg at the thigh.
His right leg soon follows in an arterial spray.
All Robert can feel is something crawling around in his brain.
Well there is only one way to fix that problem.
So Robert lines up his head and slowly his body moves towards the razor
sharp blades.
And with one slice his head is separated from his body.
Roberts head lands in the saw dust with a bloody thud.
The band saw is still whirring and whinging.
But Robert doesn’t hear a thing.
Because Robert is dead.
As Roberts head lays there in the saw dust and blood
A little rice puff falls from Roberts nose.
And is blown away on the wind.
Elizabeth Clutterbuck is feeling mighty uncomfortable.
She hasn’t moved her bowels in five days.
The way things are going she want have to buy any toilet paper
for a whole year.
Elizabeth really needs to drop a crap.
And she needs to do it now.
Elizabeth doesn’t understand.
She has been eating all bran since she was a child.
And it has always kept her nice and regular.
But now she is backed up all the way to California.
All she wants to do is sit on the toilet and let nature take its
course.
Elizabeth doesnt know what to do.
She eats ten bowls of all bran everyday plus she drinks five
litres of water.
But still there isn’t any movement downstairs.
Elizabeth is so clogged up she is even contemplating seeing a
proctologist.
But she doesn’t want anyone poking and prodding back there.
So she eat another bowl of all bran to ponder the situation.
Elizabeth is now so bloated and full of gas she is almost floating
on the ceiling.
The only thing keeping her grounded is her weight.
Because she isn’t getting rid of her waste she is really packing
on the kilos.
Last week she weighed 65kg now she tips the scales at 84.
When she looks in the mirror she can hardly recognise herself
Her face is all puffed up and distorted.
She looks like a female elephant man.
Elizabeth decides to stop eating altogether.
Well everything except the all bran.
She will never stop eating her favourite cereal.
But Elizabeth is her own worst enemy.
Instead of having a bowl of all bran just for breakfast
She has a bowl every hour on the hour.
Her body cant get rid of all that bran
And it has settled in her bowel and intestines like cement.
It isn’t going anywhere.
After eating yet another bowl of all bran Elizabeth goes into the
bathroom and sits on the throne.
But there still isn’t any movement at the station.
She is afraid to look at the mirror.
But she has a quick glance and almost dies from fright.
She now looks like a human beach ball.
Her skin is stretched almost to the limit.
She turns away and rolls onto the bathroom scales.
Yesterday she weighed 84 kg now she is up to 98.
Thirty kilos above her normal weight.
Elizabeth hangs her head and starts to cry.
How has it all come to this?
And because she hasn’t been to the bathroom in eight days
Her house is starting to stink.
Because her waste isn’t leaving her body in the normal way.
It is beginning to seep through her skin.
Her skin is now the colour of a very bad fake tan
Not a good look.
But finally there is some good news.
Elizabeth finally has that feeling again.
You know that feeling when you need to do a shit.
She races to the bathroom.
Well races isn’t the right word because Elizabeth now weighs over
120 kilos.
She sits on the toilet and it starts to buckle.
Elizabeth jumps from the toilet before it breaks.
But she comes face to face with the bathroom mirror.
And she is expanding at a rapid rate.
Her skin is stretched to overload.
Elizabeth doesn’t get a chance to say goodbye.
She just explodes.
Like an over ripe water melon her body flies in all directions
Blood gore and shit cover the bathroom from floor to ceiling
Elizabeth a much loved mother and daughter is the latest victim
of a cereal killer.
People i am telling you now there is a cereal killer out there.
So take care
Beware.
THE END
