Monthly Archives: October 2016

Cereal Killer ( Part Two )

29 Saturday Oct 2016

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In part one i told you all about the cereal killers lurking in

your pantry and on the supermarket shelves.

So throw out the cereal in your pantry and leave them on the

shelf.

Because cereal really is a killer.

Part Two

Robert Summerhill is enjoying a rare day off work.

He is employed at the local sawmill but it is good to have some down time.

Robert amazingly still has all his fingers and thumbs attached.

But at the moment he isn’t thinking about work.

He is preparing his favourite breakfast.

A huge bowl of rice puffs.

Robert is 39 years old now and he has had a bowl of rice puffs every

morning since he was five.

He knows that rice puffs are really only for kids.

But he just cant help himself.

They taste so damn fine.

Like a little piece of heaven.

Robert is seated at the kitchen table enjoying his tasty treat.

But he is eating way too fast.

And one of those little rice puffs escapes his spoon and lands in

his beard.

And it burrows in deep.

After washing the dish’es Robert goes about his day.

He runs some errands and has lunch with some friends.

He returns home to mow the lawn before relaxing on the lounge.

After a few hours watching some TV he has something to eat.

Before brushing his teeth and going to bed.

Twenty minutes later there is some movement in his beard.

That little rice puff is on the march.

Slowly it makes its way up Roberts face before entering Roberts

left nostril.

But it doesn’t stop there.

It keeps on burrowing until it pierces Roberts Brain.

In the morning Robert wakes up with a splitting headache.

And a nasty nose bleed.

He takes two panadol and plugs his nostril with toilet paper.

Today is a work day so he sits down to have a bowl of rice puffs

But he isn’t feeling himself today and after a couple of spoonfuls

he pushes the bowl away.

And has a cup of coffee instead.

Driving to work Robert really isn’t feeling well.

His head is still throbbing and his nose is still bleeding.

Plus his right hand is starting to shake like it has a mind of its own.

But Robert isn’t that worried he probably just has some hay fever

or something.

Arriving at work Roberts workmates tell him that he looks like shit

and maybe he should go back home.

But Robert is the only employee with experience on the band saw.

So he decides to stay so all of the orders are filled.

Robert takes a few more panadol and walks over to the band saw and

turns it on.

All of a sudden his head feels like it is going to explode.

He is seeing spots before his eyes and his right hand is starting

to shake again.

Robert feels detached from the whole situation he is there but at the same time

he isn’t

His right hand has now taken control of his body.

Robert is powerless to stop what is about to happen

With one slice his left arm is detached at the elbow.

Than he has another go and his whole arm disappears in a blood red mist.

Robert takes one of his last breaths he climbs up onto the band saw and

severs his left leg at the thigh.

His right leg soon follows in an arterial spray.

All Robert can feel is something crawling around in his brain.

Well there is only one way to fix that problem.

So Robert lines up his head and slowly his body moves towards the razor

sharp blades.

And with one slice his head is separated from his body.

Roberts head lands in the saw dust with a bloody thud.

The band saw is still whirring and whinging.

But Robert doesn’t hear a thing.

Because Robert is dead.

As Roberts head lays there in the saw dust and blood

A little rice puff falls from Roberts nose.

And is blown away on the wind.

Elizabeth Clutterbuck is feeling mighty uncomfortable.

She hasn’t moved her bowels in five days.

The way things are going she want have to buy any toilet paper

for a whole year.

Elizabeth really needs to drop a crap.

And she needs to do it now.

Elizabeth doesn’t understand.

She has been eating all bran since she was a child.

And it has always kept her nice and regular.

But now she is backed up all the way to California.

All she wants to do is sit on the toilet and let nature take its

course.

Elizabeth doesnt know what to do.

She eats ten bowls of all bran everyday plus she drinks five

litres of water.

But still there isn’t any movement downstairs.

Elizabeth is so clogged up she is even contemplating seeing a

proctologist.

But she doesn’t want anyone poking and prodding back there.

So she eat another bowl of all bran to ponder the situation.

Elizabeth is now so bloated and full of gas she is almost floating

on the ceiling.

The only thing keeping her grounded is her weight.

Because she isn’t getting rid of her waste she is really packing

on the kilos.

Last week she weighed 65kg now she tips the scales at 84.

When she looks in the mirror she can hardly recognise herself

Her face is all puffed up and distorted.

She looks like a female elephant man.

Elizabeth decides to stop eating altogether.

Well everything except the all bran.

She will never stop eating her favourite cereal.

But Elizabeth is her own worst enemy.

Instead of having a bowl of all bran just for breakfast

She has a bowl every hour on the  hour.

Her body cant get rid of all that bran

And it has settled in her bowel and intestines like cement.

It isn’t going anywhere.

After eating yet another bowl of all bran Elizabeth goes into the

bathroom and sits on the throne.

But there still isn’t any movement at the station.

She is afraid to look at the mirror.

But she has a quick glance and almost dies from fright.

She now looks like a human beach ball.

Her skin is stretched almost to the limit.

She turns away and rolls onto the bathroom scales.

Yesterday she weighed 84 kg now she is up to 98.

Thirty kilos above her normal weight.

Elizabeth hangs her head and starts to cry.

How has it all come to this?

And because she hasn’t been to the bathroom in eight days

Her house is starting to stink.

Because her waste isn’t leaving her body in the normal way.

It is beginning to seep through her skin.

Her skin is now the colour of a very bad fake tan

Not a good look.

But finally there is some good news.

Elizabeth finally has that feeling again.

You know that feeling when you need to do a shit.

She races to the bathroom.

Well races isn’t the right word because Elizabeth now weighs over

120 kilos.

She sits on the toilet and it starts to buckle.

Elizabeth jumps from the toilet before it breaks.

But she comes face to face with the bathroom mirror.

And she is expanding at a rapid rate.

Her skin is stretched to overload.

Elizabeth doesn’t get a chance to say goodbye.

She just explodes.

Like an over ripe water melon her body flies in all directions

Blood gore and shit cover the bathroom from floor to ceiling

Elizabeth a much loved mother and daughter is the latest victim

of a cereal killer.

People i am telling you now there is a cereal killer out there.

So take care

Beware.

THE END

Thanks for taking the time to read one of my stories and now if you have the means could you please make a donation to help me reach my goal of becoming a fulltime writer. Thanks again Steven.

Dream The Dream

21 Friday Oct 2016

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The year is 1966 in the land of the free.

And everything is nice and peachy.

All of the people are living on easy street.

They all own two story houses with central heating

and an in ground pool.

1966 is the year of the dragon.

And it seems also the year of the fool.

 

Because you would be foolish to think that all is well in

the american nation.

Racism is rife all over the country.

But most of the hate comes from the south.

Just because your skin is a darker colour you get treated

like a second class citizen.

Dr Martin Luther King said that he had a dream.

But already the people seem to have forgotten.

The white folks ride around in fancy cars.

While the negro’s still pick the cotton.

 

14 year old Calvin Jackson is a skinny little black kid.

Who lives in a small bungalow in a bad neighbourhood in

Mobile Alabama.

His clothes are clean but threadbare.

Five brothers have worn these same clothes.

Now it is Calvin’s turn.

 

Calvin is watching TV on a small black and white set with his mama

beside him.

A black man has been shot down for no apparent reason.

Except for the colour of his skin.

Another black man guilty of a trumped up crime.

Why does this shit have to happen all of the time?

 

As Calvin watches the news his shoulders start to slump

And his sense of worth crashes.

He cant watch no more.

So he goes outside to shoot some hoops with his brothers.

Calvin weaves and fakes past his brothers time and time again.

Scoring basket after basket .

After a half hour of humiliation Calvin’s brothers wander off

defeated.

Calvin puffs out his chest with pride.

And he dreams about playing in the NBA one day.

If only the white folks would just let him play.

 

At Calvin knows that he should and could be getting better grades

.He used to be an A grade student.

Now all he does is look out the classroom window.

Dreaming his dream.

Calvin knows that basketball is his only way out of the slums and

ghetto’s.

And into the big time.

Than he could buy his mama a nice house.

And get himself a brand new souped up car.

Dreaming your dream is good.

But it will only get you so far.

 

Calvin is dreaming the dream along with other millions of other

young people.

Everybody dreams foe a better life for themselves and family.

But Mobile Alabama along with towns and cities all over America.

Are full of discrimination and segregation.

Whites and blacks go to different schools and ride on separate bus’es.

All because some peoples skin has a darker hue.

Racism affects everybody ordinary people just like me and you.

 

America is the land of the great divide.

A country with very narrow minded views.

There is a big division between the haves and the have not’s.

Calvin knows that because he is black he will have to work twice as hard

as the white folks do.

If he wants to make it in this world.

But Calvin’s mind is full of hope and optimism

He is just dreaming his dream.

He would do anything that he can.

To try and be a better man.

 

Walking home from school a few weeks later.

Calvin comes across the local basketball courts.

He goes to walk right on by like he always has.

But this time he stops and has a seat on a bench.

He pretends to tie his shoe laces as he takes in the game.

One day all of the white homey’s will all know his name.

 

Just than the ball rolls over and stops at Calvin’s feet.

Calvin is stuck in two minds.

Should he just throw the ball back?

Or show all these white boys how to play?

Then the decision is taken out of his hands.

‘Come on nigger show us what you can do’

 

Calvin hates that word but he accepts the challenge with relish.

And for the next hour Calvin completely dominates his opponents.

He scores baskets at will running rings around his helpless foes.

The white boys are exhausted and call an end to the game.

Calvin starts to walk away than turns back ‘I am Calvin Jackson

remember my name’

 

At seventeen Calvin is already six foot tall

And for the last three years he has been his school’s MVP.

His exploits on the court hasn’t gone unnoticed at some of the more

prestigious schools.

After a practice Calvin is called into the coaches office.

He is told to take a seat.

And the coach gets right down to business ‘Calvin you are probably the best

player that this school has ever produced’

But if you want to achieve your dream you will have to move away from home’

And the only way to do this is to gain a full scholarship’

Calvin knows that he cant let this opportunity slip.

 

Calvin’s mind is racing he is thinking about being first draft pick in the NBA.

And playing in the olympic’s with the dream team

The coach is still talking ‘But to get a scholarship you will have to improve your grades’

‘At the moment your grades are very poor,so if you want to reach your goal’

‘You will really have to improve big time,do it now Calvin before it is too late’

‘Because if you don’t you will never ever get out of this state’

 

Calvin walks out of the door.

Will his dream be crushed before it has even started?

Or will Calvin hit the books and really knuckle down?

Well there really isn’t any choose so for twelve hours everyday Calvin

studies hard.

When he is not studying Calvin shoots 20 thousand hoops.

After a few hours of sleep Calvin wakes up and does it all again.

And even though it hurts it is a good pain.

 

Calvin has applied for scholarships at colleges in New York Washington

and Chicago.

But to achieve his goal his grades have to be 90% or better.

For over a week he sits for exam after exam.

Calvin knows that he has tried his best and that is all he can do.

Now all he can do is wait.

And rely on the hand of fate.

 

Back at home he can’t sit still waiting for the results to come back.

He paces back and forth day after day waiting for the postman.

Than one day the postie pushes a bulky package through the front door

slot.

Will the news be good or bad?

Calvin rips open the envelope as fast as he can and he has a quick read.

Than he does a little dance of jot?

92%.

 

A month later Calvin is accepted at Stanford college New York.

He is now one step closer to living his dream.

Playing in the NBA.

Now no one can get in his way.

 

It doesn’t matter if your skin is white black brown red or yellow

Everybody on this earth has a right to dream.

So dream all that you want

Because one day your dream might just come true.

 

THE END.

Thanks for taking the time to read one of my stories and now if you have the means could you please make a donation to help me reach my goal of becoming a fulltime writer. Thanks again Steven.

Anthill Bill

14 Friday Oct 2016

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It is a dark and stormy night.

And i am laying in bed all alone.

I toss and turn but i cant get to sleep.

My bladder is telling me that it is full.

I can’t believe it i only went an hour ago.

I must have a bladder the size of a walnut.

I really need to urinate right now.

 

I am all bleary eyed as i make my way to the bathroom.

It is a work night so i need to do a quick pee and go back to bed.

So i open my pyjama pants and shake hands with shorty.

It takes some coaxing but eventually my urine starts to flow.

I close my eyes and breathe a sigh of relief.

God it feels like i am pissing a river.

Than i get a feeling that is completely fucked and brain numbing.

 

I open my eyes and look down.

The toilet is completely covered in about a thousand ants.

Little black specks of movement.

I try to move but i am totally transfixed.

I get the shock of my life as those ants start to swim up my Stream

Against the flow.

Just like sockeye salmon that swim upstream to spawn.

These little black ants are on a mission.

I still cant move as i watch those ants swim up the eye of my penis.

I lean into the sink and am violently sick.

 

As i recover i realise that my member is still hanging out.

I go to tuck it back in when i notice one huge motherfucking ant

I almost died right there and then.

That huge black ant was swimming in the last drop of urine near

my pee hole.

I try to shake it loose but it is no use.

That fucker squeezes it way all the way up my urethra

 

The pain is intense as that ant travels the length of my penis.

And i dont like to brag.

But it takes a whole lot of travelling.

Than the pain goes away so that ant reaches its destination.

I realise that that ant must be the head honcho.

The big lean and mighty mean queen.

 

I don’t know what to do as i walk around in a daze.

A thousand and one ants have invaded my body

Is that enough ants to start a colony?

God am i going to be a human ant nest?

I can feel all of the ants moving around inside my body.

They are making themselves right at home.

Like a thousand and one indoor plants.

 

I need to go to the toilet again.

Maybe i can piss those ants back out again.?

But no such luck my stream is ant free.

Than i hear mu alarm sounding off from my bedroom.

Jesus i am supposed to go to work today.

But how can i when my body has been invaded?

I will have to call in sick.

What can i use as an excuse?

 

 

Sorry i cant make it in today my body has been invaded by a shit load

of ants’

My supervisor would get out the butterfly net.

So i ring and say ‘Bill Hamilton here i want be in today because

my pet rock has just died’

There that should do it.

Nothing is wrong here everything is hunky dory.

All is good except for the embarasment and the pee hole pain.

 

i run around in a panic as i contemplate my next move

Than i feel a sharp pain in my ankles.

I lift up my pants and see the ants moving around.around under

my skin.

I feel their mandibles start to chew and saw.

My nerve endings are on fire as those ants chew through tendons and sinew.

I lose all feelings in my lower extremities.

My ankles are now completely useless and can no longer support my weight.

And just like umpty dumpty i have a great fall.

 

Now the ants are crawling all around inside my body.

I can see and feel them under my skin.

I feel them near my nostrils than behind my eyeballs.

I try to scream for help but all i can manage is a feeble croak.

While inside the ants are doing a complete body rearrange.

 

I know that the only change of have to survive is to somehow

make it outside.

I ignore the pain from my throbbing ankles.

And start to drag myself towards the back door.

I make it into the laundry but the fucking door is closed.

I cant stand up to turn the handle.

Maybe if i bang against the door loud enough .

One of my neighbours will come to investigate.

 

God the ants are driving me crazy.

It feels like i am being eaten alive.

I look at the back door but i am still out of reach.

Those fucking ants are now chewing at the back of my neck.

I feel a sharp pain at the top of my spine.

My body is on fire as those ants chow down on my bone marrow.

Than i cant feel a thing.

I am paralysed from the neck down

Man those ants are really going to town.

 

I am now completely covered in ants inside and out.

Only two feet from safety might it might as well be a mile.

My body is no longer mine.

Than the ants start to tear all my clothes off.

And piece by piece they carry it outside.

Five hours later i am left naked on the laundry floor.

The ants crawl in and out of every hole in my body.

As they transform me into a human ant hill.

God don’t these little fuckers ever take a rest?

 

As those ants come back from outside they back back a tiny piece

of mud.

It takes the ants two days to completely cover me.

I am now officially a real life human ant nest.

Every part of my body is sealed except my mouth and arsehole.

My nose is plugged and my eyes are sealed.

Even though i can no longer cry.

I still say a final tearful goodbye.

 

I dread to think what the ants are doing inside of my body.

Will they now use my veins and arteries as a means to bet around?

My lungs would make a good nursery to raise their young.

Maybe they could use my ribs as food racks?

But i know one thing for sure.

And that is the ants will now use my flesh as food.

They will no longer have to go outside to forage.

My body is a living food pantry.

But they better be quick because once i die,

I will start to rot and burst.

 

I now live in a state of suspension.

My body is still in the laundry but my mind has gone somewhere else.

I can feel the ants moving around in my cranium.

God i hope they don’t eat my brain first.

Even though i am now a human ant hill.

I still want to live a little longer.

But i can feel myself getting weaker and weaker.

While the ants are getting stronger and stronger.

 

I feel them chewing and gnawing on my eyeballs.

I am a human smorgasbord.

All you can eat no surcharge.

As long as the ants eat my heart and brain last.

A few more seconds alive on this earth.

But i know that soon my body will start to shut down.

As all of my organs are bisected and digested.

And even though i can’t feel anything.

I still feel mighty sore.

 

I know that once my meat and organs are eaten.

Than by all means and purposes i will no longer exist.

I will be nothing more than a frame.

My skeleton will provide the ants with a human tent.

A custom built brand new home.

Now the ants can start producing babies and honey.

 

My time is almost up my mind is losing focus.

So while i still have a chance i will say goodbye.

I would cry but i cant shed a tear.

I know that sooner or later my body will be discovered

Family or a friend will report me missing.

Imagine their surprise when they find an anthill in the middle

of the laundry.

Or maybe they want notice and take it as part of the decor.

 

I can read my tombstone now.

 

Here lies Bill Hamilton

28/07/1961   –  15/10/16

He died in the shape of an ant hill

May he rest in peace

But he probably never will.

 

THE END

Thanks for taking the time to read one of my stories and now if you have the means could you please make a donation and help me reach my goal of becoming a fulltime writer. Thanks again Steven.

Mr Tornado Man

07 Friday Oct 2016

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I cant believe how hot it is.

My skin is stuck to the leather seats in my 65 Buick.

I am sweating buckets all i want to do is get home and sit in front

of the air con

I wind down the window to try and catch a breeze.

The eagles are playing on the radio but they dont put my mind at ease.

 

Big black clouds are rolling in full of rain and destruction

It is storm season in Wichita  the city of my birth.

I have lived in the tornado belt my whole life.

So i know the damage and heartache that they bring.

My stomach sinks and my heart fills with sorrow.

I say a little prayer and hope that i see tomorrow.

 

Over the years my town has been demolished a time or two.

Tornado’s push people to the limit till they reach the edge.

So i race home as fast as i can to try and get my family to safety.

But there is one huge road block.

In the shape of one huge motherfucking tornado.

It is easily two miles across and blocks the horizon.

This tornado is as black as the blackest souls in hell.

I push the pedal to the metal with a banshee yell.

 

As i race down the road dodging flying road signs and debris

I know that i have made one huge mistake.

How did i think that i could outrun a freaking tornado?

There is now not a chance in hell of reaching my house in time

I can only hope that my wife and kids have made to the underground

shelter.

The windmill in my head is going all helter  skelter.

 

The tornado hits me like a ton of bricks

My car is airborne and the sound is like a hundred freight trains

Or a thousand waterfalls.

I grip the steering wheel as tight as i can.

As i get tossed around like a sock in a washing machine.

My eyes are closed so maybe i am only dreaming?

But when i open them i am not laying in bed.

I am in an eye of a tornado instead.

 

I am spinning so fast i almost black out and i really wish that

i did.

I spin even faster like an out of control flight simulator.

My brain has reached it’s limit and is about to crash.

Than i am free falling when i am spat out of the twister.

Spat out like a regurgitated piece of meat.

Will i land turned around and upside down?

Or on my white walled set of wheels?

 

 

Luckily i land in the middle of a lake like a jettisoned  space

shuttle.

But than i get this sinking feeling my car is going down fast.

About twenty feet down i hit rock bottom with a thud.

 

The windows are all up so no water enters immediately.

But i know that i have to get out of here fast.

I push against the glass but it wont budge

The doors are all sealed shut from the water pressure.

Now i really start to panic as my air starts to run out.

So this is how i come to the end of my life?

I close my eyes and say goodbye to my kids and lovely wife.

 

I put my hand up against the car window

And take my last look at the outside world.

And make one last wish.

Than my hand turns into a fist and starts to spin.

My whole arm is spinning like a pneumatic drill.

The window shatters and i start to rise like Phenonix or Neptune

But without a trident or a staff.

But i know one thing right now i could really use a canoe or a raft

 

When i hit the surface i an still 500 yards from the shore

Swimming isn’t one of my strong suits

But i really have no choice in the matter

So i start to swim freestyle towards the bank.

I wish that my legs would give me a better kick.

And than they do.

My legs start to spin like twin outboard motors

And they take me to my objective.

But i am going way too fast and will surely crash into the sand

 

But i dont crash.

Because at the last second my legs stop spinning.

And i glide right up onto the shore.

I stand up on solid ground it sure feels good to be back on terra

firma.

But what is the go with my limbs spinning like crazy?

Is it a symptom from being inside a tornado?

Will the weird side affects all go away?

Or are they here to stay?

 

Well there is only one way to find out

So i hold out my arms and tell them to spin

And they do.

My legs spin at the same command.

Am i now part human or some sort of tornado machine?

Even though i might look the same i am no longer me.

Maybe God has a master plan.

I look to the sky and christen myself Mr tornado man.

 

So am i now a superhero?

Am i supposed to save damsels in distress?

Could i jump a building in a single bound?

Or scale a wall like spiderman?

I hope i dont have to wear a costume with a long cape

Or heaven forbid a pair of bright green tights.

I want to help the public not scare them out of their wits.

Maybe i should just go back to what i was before

A scared nobody with a face full of zits.

 

But it is too late to back down now.

I am now an apprentice superhero.

So i should start to act like one.

My arms and legs start to twitch they are ready for some action.

But my nerves start to get the best of me.

Do superhero’s have a union or workers compensation?

Is it good or bad to be a new sensation?

 

I stand there adjusting my imaginary set of tights.

Then i remember that my family could be buried under a pile

of rubble.

Everybody in Wichita could really do with some help.

Am i up for it?

I take a deep breath and puff out my chest like a superhero should.

Deep down i know that i am ready for the fight.

I will do the best that i can.

The people of Kansas can rely on Mr tornado man.

 

My inbuilt GPS system tells me that that my home town is 100

miles to the west.

As soon as i think that thought my body starts to spin and gyrate

I spin like that Tasmanian devil in that old cartoon.

I just hope that i don’t end up in my own loony tune.

 

 

 

I am travelling so fast i turn the road into a liquid

And i reach Wichita in record time.

I cant find my home in all the piles of misery.

I go from house to house with my limbs digging trying to find

any survivors.

But i dont find anybody

My first assignment has ended in a total lack of success.

I will try harder next time God bless.

 

I am supposed to be a superhero

But i failed the acid test.

Maybe i need an offsider or live in a bat cave?

Or i should have worn those shiny green tights?

But would it have made a difference?

But dont forget that i am an apprentice  superhero

I am still learning the ropes.

Next time i will have a better plan.

And be a new improved Mr Tornado Man

 

Than i hear a sound in the rubble.

THE END

Thanks for taking the time to read one of my stories and now if you could make a donation to help me achieve my dream of becoming a fulltime writer. Thanks again Steven.