I live the lifestyle of the rich and famous.
Even though i have no money of my own.
I am 37 years old now and i haven’t worked a day
in my life.
I eat the rich and lay around all day.
Why should i work when other people can pay my way?
I was born under a full moon on Friday the 13th 1981.
My parents have told me that i was born bad.
And that i have been an arsehole ever since.
But i don’t care what other people think.
I just do what i please.
I just chop and chop until i bring them to their knees.
My devious ways got worse when i started school.
When i had a hundred other kids to pick clean.
They never knew what was happening.
I used every trick in the book to line my pockets.
I cheated at marbles and used stand over tactics.
And soon my pockets were overflowing with their lunch money.
And sometimes i even ate their lunch as well.
School can be good but i made it a living hell.
At high school i didn’t worry about playing games to get money.
I just used my fists and size to get what i wanted.
But fighting is hard work i used to work up a sweat.
Why couldn’t my family have money and live in the right
But y’know i kind of like being bad.
Fuck being good.
I have become a despised little jerk.
A real nasty piece of work.
After i finished school i was at a bit of a loose end.
I didn’t know what to do with myself.
I could get a job and make an honest living.
Or i could lay around smoking some weed.
Thinking of ways to spend other peoples money.
Why should i have to go to work and get my hands dirty.
My goal is to stay unemployed and retire when i am thirty.
At sixteen my hormones are raging
So i started to check out the local girls.
And they were giving me the loving eye.
But i knew that i had to aim higher if i was to reach my
Which is to make a lot of money without a lot of effort.
So i caught a bus (without paying) all the way to Caulfield
Where all the rich people live.
I am all about taking i never fucking give.
They say love conquers all
But all i want is sex and some easy cash.
I just hope that i don’t end up with and empty wallet and a nasty
At the local mall i take a seat in a coffee shop and wait for my prey.
And soon enough a girl walks in dressed up like a movie star.
She will do nicely.
She takes a seat across from me all ripe for the picking.
I give her my lovey dovey eyes a she smiles back .
She has taken the bait hook line and sinker.
And pretty soon we are sitting close together.
I move in for the kill hell bent for leather.
She tells me that her name is Cindy and that her family owns
half of the town.
And she offers to buy me a cup of coffee.
Well Cindy will pay for the coffee and a whole lot more.
I am going to reach into for soul and pull on her heart strings.
And i will not stop until the fat lady starts to sing.
I lean in close and tell Cindy a sob story.
About how i was kicked out of home and how i am struggling
to land on my feet.
Cindy sits there with her mouth open swallowing every word.
I cant believe this girl is so gullible
She offers to buy me lunch and provide a shoulder to lean on.
How can i refuse such an offer?
I eat and eat until i am ready to burst.
Just like a vampire with insatiable thirst.
I really am a jerk
A nasty piece of work.
Only sixteen and already i am on the road to ruin.
I don’t even try to be good.
Words tumble from Cindy’s mouth but i barely listen.
I am only interested in myself.
I just want to fill my pockets with ill gotten gains.
Who gives a shit for other peoples thoughts or pain?
Cindy is a sweet girl.
She deserves someone better than me.
I have’t listened to a word she has said.
All i want is to get my hands on her money
I will beg borrow or steal and bleed her dry.
I will leave nothing behind but an empty shell
Hello Cindy welcome to my hell.
Cindy stands up and says she has to visit the bathroom.
So why don’t i pay the bill whilst she is away.
She hands me her credit card and i go to the counter to pay.
But than i have second thoughts.
I walk out of the door and keep on walking.
As i walk down the street i reach into my pocket and pull out
a razor sharp switchblade knife.
Cindy will never know how close she came to dying today.
This time i gave her a break.
But the next time i want be so fucking nice.
Someone in my travels is going to pay a very heavy price.
So keep an eye out.
Because i could be headed your way.
If you see me coming.
Run as fast as you can
I really am a jerk.
A nasty piece of work.