stevenjohnstonblog

~ Short stories about anything and everything

stevenjohnstonblog

Monthly Archives: July 2018

U Devil Ewe

28 Saturday Jul 2018

Posted by stevenjohnno in poems, stories, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

fire, happy, new zealand, sad, shearers, sheep, te kuiti, wool

The following is a story about a ewe that doesn’t like to be sheared and will do anything she can to avoid it.

Te kuiti is a tiny town a little way south of Hamilton on the north island of New Zealand.

New Zealand is known as the land of the long white cloud and its stunning landscapes captured in all its splendour in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

While Te kuiti is also beautiful town it is best known for its award winning sheep.

One of those sheep is a three year old ewe named Molly.

Molly hasn’t won any ribbons ad she isn’t about to any time soon.

Not unless they are handing out ribbons for being the most cantankerous  ewe on the island.

Because if they were Molly would surely be wearing a shit load of bling.

Soon after she was born Molly was rejected by her mother and left to the elements and she would have died on her first day in this world if her bleating wasn’t heard by farmer Bob.

He gently picked her up from the wet grass and carried inside the farmhouse where his daughter he and his two daughters fed Molly her first bottle of milk.

Everyday Molly drank bottle after bottle of the fat rich liquid and after a couple of months she was getting to be a little to big for the house.

Plus farmer Bob and his offspring were getting annoyed by Molly blocking the heat coming from the wood fire and leaving little pellets of joy all around the joint.

Molly has over stayed her welcome so farmer Bob leads her and puts her in a paddock with hundreds of other ewes and lambs

‘Holy crap’ mutters Molly ‘it is freaking freezing out here’ Then Molly hangs her head as it begins to rain.

The life of a sheep is sometimes not a whole lot of fun and sunshine.

Molly bleats throughout the day hoping that the farmer will come running and take her back inside to the warmth of the fire.

But when her cries fall on deaf ears Molly trudges to a corner of the paddock and sobs under the dark sky until she falls to sleep.

Molly has survived the first six months of life by the skin of her teeth and everyday she grows bigger and stronger.

She is no longer a lamb shivering in the cold and rain now Molly is now a strong kiwi ewe.

And she is also sporting a fleece of premium quality wool.

Molly eyes the other sheep with contempt as she struts around the paddock like she is best in show.

She thinks that because she was hand raised and has one of the finest fleeces in the flock that she is somehow special.

But she is in for a big shock.

Molly is minding her own business chewing on some grass when she is scared half to death by a dog snapping at her heels.

She doesn’t really know what is happening but being a sheep she just follows the other sheep into a holding pen.

Molly tries to hide at the back of the pen because she has a feeling that something bad is about to happen.

She hears a human approaching and her heart leaps maybe it is that nice farmer that saved her from a certain death and took her into his home?

But she soon realises her mistake and tries to flee but she doesn’t get vey far before she is grabbed and manhandled into a shearing shed.

She is put into a very undignified position by a rough looking shearer who proceeds to cut off her golden fleece.

Two minutes later Molly feels the shearers hand on her rump and with a slap she is pushed down the chute and back out into the sunshine.

Well I say sunshine but we are in New Zealand after all.

What I meant to say is overcast with a constant threat of rain.

But at the moment Molly isn’t interested in my weather reports because she is shivering in the corner of the holding pen feeling all naked and exposed.

She stares up to the shearing and makes a vow to never let herself be shorn ever again.

Molly is back in her paddock recovering from her ordeal when she has the ovine version of a brainwave.

What if she can somehow ruin her fleece and make it unworthy of being removed.

Then she could be warm and mellow all year round.

So in the following months as her fleece begins to grow out she rolls around in the mud picking up all kinds of burrs and thorns plus a good covering of dung.

She now looks and smells like something from a sewerage treatment plant.

So she is confident that when the dog herds her back into the holding pen that she will be left alone.

And sure enough a week later that pesky dog does return and the flock is once more herded into the pen.

Again Molly hangs out at the back and she watches as one by one the other sheep disappear up into the shearing shed until she is the last ewe standing.

‘Well well well what do we have here?’ one of the shearers mutters to his mate’What do you think bro? Maybe we should water blast her to get her wool nice and shiny ready for a clipping’

‘Or we could just shoot her right here and now and cut her into chops or maybe a nice brisket?’

Molly doesn’t know what water blasting or a nice brisket is but it sounds like it would hurt so she rubs herself against the fence and rubs off all the burrs and thorns and after a quick dip in the water through to clean off the crap.

She is once again shoved into the shearing shed and has another hair cut

Molly is wandering around her paddock and she is spitting chips.

Why do the shearers continue to take her woollen overcoat?

Don’t they know that it is fucking freezing out here?

Molly knows that she really shouldn’t say the F word but enough is enough.

Never again will she allow herself to be shorn again.

And this time she means it

Six months later Molly is relaxing in her paddock when she notices a cloud of dust coming from the front gate.

And soon enough the first of the utes arrive ‘Holy crap’ Molly runs around in a panic not nothing what to do when she hears MOO.

Over in the next paddock a herd of cows are standing around doing a whole lot of nothing.

Molly thinks for a second she takes a few steps back then runs as fast as she can and jumps over the fence.

She flies through the air like Steve MacQueen in the Great Escape and lands in the middle of the startled cows.

Molly smiles to herself an hour later when she sees the dog herding the other sheep into the holding pen.

‘Stick that up ya’ Molly says before she joins her new bovine friends as they eat grass and chew on their cud

But the good times don’t last long because early the next morning farmer Bob opens the gate and all the cows follow him toward the milking shed.

Molly knows that she is in deep doo doo and tries to act and look like a cow but she knows that she isn’t fooling anybody especially not farmer Bob who grabs her by the scruff of the neck ‘Come here u devil ewe’

Later in the year Molly once again notices the cloud of dust coming from the front gate ‘Holy fuck it is that time again’

She is sporting a flawless gag free fleece of wool and she doesn’t want to lose it.

She has been exchanging glances with a ram so she wants to be at her best.

What would a randy ram want with a ewe that was nothing but skin and bone?

She knows that if she is to defeat the shearers this time than she will has to come up with a wooly wooly good plan.

She is rubbing her itchy butt against a rusty bale of fencing wire when a cunning plan begins to form.

She nibbles on the rusty wire hoping that her fleece will turn into a good for nothing fleece of steel wool

She continues to chew ‘God I know I need some iron in my diet but this is ridiculous’

And after chewing for an hour her wool turns silver with a few rust flecks.

And not before time because the dog arrives  and Molly follows the others into the pen.

But she doesn’t stop there she walks up right up the chute’Come on shear me you fuckers’

Two of the best shearers in New Zealand ‘Wazza’ Smith and Bazza; Jones look at each other in astonishment when a weird looking ewe arrives demanding to be shorn

Wazza being the head shearer shakes his head ‘This one is all yours Bazza I am going out for a smoke’

Bazza swears under his breath and grabs hold of Molly and prepares to shear her so he can go have a ciggy with Wazza.

But as soon as the clippers touch the wool a shower of sparks fly in all directions.

A few sparks land on a fleece of wool that is spread out on a nearby table.

At first nothing happens but then the lanolin in the wool catches fire and it soon takes hold .

Bazza and Molly both run for their lives and barely make it before the roof caves in.

And ten minutes later the shearing shed is reduced to nothing but a charred pile of rubble.

Molly survives but she isn’t happy.

She is singed and looks and smells like a forlorn crispy crispy critter.

What ram in his right mind would even look at her?

But then a wet tongue nuzzles her ear and the ram of her dreams is comforting her with tender kisses.

And even though Molly isn’t looking her best at the moment she snuggles up to her ram.

Her life is now complete.

BAA BAA BAA BAA BAA BAA

THE END

Thanks for taking the time to read one of my stories and could you think about making a donation so that i can realize my dream of becoming a fulltime writer. Thanks again Steven.

Share this:

  • Share
  • Twitter
  • Facebook

Like this:

Like Loading...

The Well

07 Saturday Jul 2018

Posted by stevenjohnno in poems, stories

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

a well, anger, bullying, crazy, lonliness, murder, pain

A dark cloud has settled over rural Montana and it is here to stay

The dark cloud is named Hattie Hendricks,a mean spinster who has been teaching English at her local school for the last ten years.

Hattie isn’t very well liked mainly because she has the social graces of a black mamba with the personality and looks of a bulldog.

Her fellow teachers loathe her with a passion while the student body treat her with contempt.

And being over six foot tall and weighing over 200 pounds Hattie is a formidable figure.

You better buy yourself a raincoat because the shit is about to hit the fan.

It is almost midnight and Hattie is at home watching TV while devouring a large whiskey.

She is in a foul mood because today because another student complained about her teaching methods and lack of hygiene.

That makes five complaints in less then a year  and Hattie knows that she is skating on thin ice.

One more complaint and she will be suspended from teaching

Hattie scowls to herself and goes into the kitchen to wash out the whiskey glass and while standing at the sink she looks out into the far corner of her backyard where behind an old shed sits a well.

One way or another her tormentors will pay

After school the next day is walking to her car when she is confronted by Philipa Cates the student who made the latest complaint about her ‘Hey Miss Hendricks are you going home to have a shower? Because i think you should,you smell Miss Hendricks and you are a bad teacher,so why don’t you get the fuck away from my school’

Hattie stares down at Philipa and her blood begins to boil but she composes herself’I am sorry you feel that say Philipa i am sure that we can come to an understanding in the principals office tomorrow’

As Hattie talks she inches closer to her tormentor while she scans the car park to see if any one is lurking about.

And before Philipa knows what is happening she is punched hard in the face and bundled into her teachers car.

Philipa wakes to find herself gagged with duct tape and tied to a chair.

It isn’t an electric chair but it might as well because for Philipa Cates there will be no escape.

She struggles as hard as she can but Philipa soon ties and starts to cry.

‘Hello Philipa welcome back to the land of the living,you wont be here long so make the best of it while it lasts’

‘Y’know you really shouldn’t have reported me to the principal and called me all of those nasty names’

Those are you final words that Philipa will ever hear because Hattie is brandishing a set of garden shears.

And with a snip snip here and a snip snip there Philipa is cut into manageable pieces taken outside under the cover of darkness and tossed down the well.

As Hattie listens for the body to hit the bottom her mind wanders back to when she was in 3rd Grade

She was enjoying her lunch break sitting by herself when she notices the school walking toward her.

Betty Devereaux is a fifth grader with a mean streak and an acid tongue.

She gives Hattie both barrels and a whole lot more,Hattie pretends not to hear and scurries away to hide in the bathroom.

But Betty follows her into the bathroom and the abuse and name calling continues.

She peers over the cubicle wall looking down at her victim’What are you hiding for you fat ugly pig? But i have to admit that if i was as ugly as you i would be hiding as well’

Hattie looks up at Betty Devereaux with a creepy little smile on her face.

Betty notices the look on Hatties and tries to make a hasty retreat but Hattie is way too fast and she grabs Betty by her long blond hair and pulls her into her cubicle

She slams Betty’s head repeatedly against the toilet bowl until all resistance stops then she shoves Betty’s head into the water and leaves her to drown.

Hattie doesn’t get much sleep that night half expecting the police to come knocking on her door but nothing happens.

And at school the next day the principal calls an assembly and tells all the teachers and students about the attack on Betty’The police will be here shortly to interview anyone who might have seen the attack on Betty

‘I am sorry to say that Betty is currently in a coma so please lets all join hands and pray for Betty’

The police spend all day interviewing everyone who was on campus that day and when it is Hattie’s turn she smiles sweetly and tells the cops that she has no idea what happened to poor Betty

To this day Betty Devereaux still lies in a coma.

Eight years later Hattie starts dating a local lad named Brett Hyland and after a few weeks she invites him home to meet her parents.

After a great meal the foursome retire to the living room for a drink and some pleasant conversation,then Hatties mother spoils the occasion’It is so nice to meet you Brett do you know that you are Hattie’s first boyfriend’

‘We know that Hattie isn’t the best looking girl in town and she would be better off if she lost a few pounds’

Hattie listens as her mother prattles on,how can her own mother say all those nasty things about her,and how can her father just sit there without defending her?

Isn’t blood supposed to be thicker then water?

Hattie excuses herself and goes into the kitchen where she rummages through a drawer and picks out a sharp knife.

Her parents are chatting pleasantly with Brett when she returns to the living room.

‘Hello dear i was just telling Brett how me and your father how we are hoping that you do something about your weight and maybe get your hair styled’

Hattie walks behind her mother and puts her hand on her mothers shoulder’Thanks for those kind words Mom you really are an inspiration’

Then Hattie tilts her mothers head back and slices her neck from ear to ear and before her father can react she opens him up as well

Brett screams ‘What in the fuck have you done Hattie?His eyes look over to the front door’I wouldn’t bothering to run Brett just take your medicine like a man,i promise to make it quick’

Brett realising that he hasn’t much of a choice makes a run for it but he doesn’t get very far before Hattie plunges the knife into his back killing him instantly.

Hattie opens the back door and one by one she drags the bodies of her parents and her boy friend out onto the patio then down to the far corner of the backyard.

Then without any preambles she drops the bodies down the well.

Hattie spends the following two weeks cleaning up her parents house until it shines

Once she is satisfied that she has covered her tracks she rents out the house jumps into her fathers beat up old chevy and hits the road.

Hattie settles down in Sioux City and begins to rebuild her life.

She enrols in college to further her studies and four years later she gains her diploma as an English teacher.

She gets a job at the local school and despite a few incidents she is happy.

But lately a little voice has begun to talk in Hattie’s ear and a few weeks later she has packed her bags and catches a train back home to Buttholeville Montana.

She gets a cab in the realtor that has been looking after her parents house and is told by the agent,a Miss Higgons that the house has stood empty for the last year after the last tenants left after saying they were hearing strange noises and screams.

Hattie is given the keys and moves back into her childhood home.

After unpacking her bags Hattie goes downstairs and makes herself a cup of coffee then she goes outside and wanders down to the well’Hello mom and dad i am home,have you missed me?’

Hattie spends the following weeks settling in and keeping a low profile,she doesn’t want her return to be noticed.

But it doesn’t take long before the word spreads the Hattie Hendricks is back in town

After doing some housework Hattie goes to make some lunch when she realises that she doesn’t have any supplies in the house so she picks up her keys and walks to the local supermarket.

Hattie is pushing her trolley down aisle three when a little voice pipes up behind her ‘Hello is your name Hattie ? Because my mom says that you are fat and ugly and smell like a dead fish and i can see that she is right’

Hattie glares down at a little boy with snot running from his nose ‘Hello what is your name young fellow?”My name Joey Stanton and i think you stink’

‘Why that isn’t a nice thing to say young fellow’Hattie says as she inches closer to the little turd who cant keep his mouth shut.

Then when the coast is clear she pounces and grabs Joey by his left arm and twists and twists until she feels his bones snap’There you go Joey that will teach you not to say nasty words,now run off and tell your mom that i said hello.

Hattie abandons her trolley and walks back towards her house while Joey Stanton runs screaming to his mother over in the produce department.

At home Hattie runs outside and down to the well’Why do people have to be such assholes?All i wanted to do was come home and lead a peaceful life without any shit but other people just wont leave me alone’

‘I did a bad thing mom and dad and i think the police will be here soon and maybe Joey Stanton’s mother will come along for the ride’

‘Well i am telling you now mom and dad that i wont go down without a fight,no siree’

And sure enough an hour later Sheriff Jones knocks on Hattie’s front door with Mrs Stanton right behind him’I am telling you Sheriff she is a crazy bitch’

‘Now now Mary lets not jump to conclusions,lets just wait and hear what she has to say’

After knocking a few more times the Sheriff and Mary Stanton open the side gate and go around to the backyard to find Hattie Hendricks with her head down a well.

‘Sheriff Jones takes charge’Hattie i am the Sheriff and this is Mrs Stanton,i just have a few questions about your whereabouts this morning’

Why Sheriff i have been here all morning,i have just moved back to town after a few years away’Why you lying fucking bitch,you broke my little Joey’s arm at the market with your bare hands’

Sorry Mrs Stanton but i haven’t left the house your son must have me confused with someone else’

Hattie hasn’t moved an inch from the well,she wants her mom and dad to hear how brave she is’You can’t come into my yard accusing me of something i didn’t do’

‘Why don’t you both just go home and leave me alone’

‘Sorry Miss Hendricks but i cant do that i need to ask you a few questions and clear up this situation’

Hattie doesn’t reply and Sheriff Jones and Mrs Stanton walk closer and closer until they are just a few feet away.

Then she grabs a pitchfork that she had hidden behind her back and runs it through the Sheriff’s stomach and out the other side

Mrs Stanton just stands there with her mouth opening and closing like a goldfish in a bowl,Hattie slams her head against the side of the well until her brain is expose

‘Mom and dad i am pleased t announce that you will soon have some company’ Then she grabs Mrs Stanton by her ankles and throws her down the well.

Sheriff Jones is still breathing when Hattie drags him to the well and with a bit of effort throws him in.

Six hours later at the Stanton household Joey is sitting on his bed holding the cast on his arm wondering why his mommy hasn’t come home yet.

She said that she was going to the crazy women’s house with the sheriff and that she wouldn’t be long but that was hours ago and Joey is getting worried.

So without telling his daddy who is asleep upstairs he sneaks outside and rides his bike to the weird lady’s house.

It is just about dinner time when he arrives and noticing the side gate open he walks around the back.

The lady who broke his arm is leaning against a well talking to herself’What have you done to my Mommy?

Hattie spins around’Why if it isn’t little Joey Stanton,do you want to see your Mommy Joey? Because i know where she is’

Joey rushes forward’You do? Tell me please where is she?

‘Why Joey she is right here down in the well’

Joey doesn’t know why his Mommy would be down a well but he walks closer

‘Come on Joey i want hurt you i think your Mommy needs your help’

Down in the well Sheriff Jones has been listening to every word,he is barely alive and with the last of his strength he unbuckles his holster and pulls out his service weapon and fires.

BANG Joey is shocked by the noise and also by a small red hole that has appeared in the middle of the crazy woman’s forehead.

Hattie sways back and forth on her feet and before she falls to the ground Joey goes behind her and with a shove Hattie disappears down the well.

‘Go to to hell you crazy fucking bitch’

Thanks for taking the time to read one of my stories and could you also think about making a donation so that i can realize my dream of becoming a fulltime writer.Thanks again Steven.

THE END

Share this:

  • Share
  • Twitter
  • Facebook

Like this:

Like Loading...

Subscribe

  • Entries (RSS)
  • Comments (RSS)

Archives

  • January 2023
  • September 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • January 2022
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • May 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • December 2020
  • October 2020
  • August 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014

Categories

  • poems
  • stories
  • Uncategorized

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • stevenjohnstonblog
    • Join 69 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • stevenjohnstonblog
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
%d bloggers like this: