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A few months ago I was pushing my shopping trolley down aisle five looking for my favourite brand of pasta sauce.

I hate grocery shopping with a passion so my mind was elsewhere and I didn’t notice another shopper reaching for the same jar of sauce.

I was jolted back to reality when our hands touched and looked up to apologise but the words wouldn’t form because I was stunned by the sight of your twin pools of blue sparkling beneath the fringe of your long wavy hair.

My brain went into lock down mode I was memorised.

Damn your eyes.

I dove into the  aqua blue lagoons and soon became lost in the liquid pools of delight.

I frolick playfully thinking that it would be nice to just drift away forever ‘Hello excuse me but I am talking to you’ I jump at the voice and I feel my face burning with embarrassment. ‘Can you please stop drooling and pass me the jar of sauce that you have been pawing’

I hand her the jar of leggo’s and sneak another look into the blue depths.

But they have both turned to ice an impenetrable deep freeze.

I apologise and say my goodbyes.

Damn your eyes.

I arrive home feeling hot and bothered because I can’t stop thinking about my encounter at the supermarket.

I am feeling frisky and my finger eleven is doing a happy dance in my pants so I go into my room to ease the tension.

And three minutes later my sac is emptying and I call out to the skies.

Damn your eyes.

The following weeks pass without incident because now I wear sunglasses wherever I go because I want to avoid falling madly and deeply again.

But now I feel even more lonely as I hide behind my shades because all they seem to do is mirror my sadness.

I wander alone across the bridge of sighs.

Damn your eyes.

It is  now two months since my encounter at the supermarket and I am almost back to my normal self.

I am enjoying a day off work catching up on some chores and relaxing in front of the TV when someone knocks on the front door.

I debate whether to sit still and hope the annoying interloper will just go away.

But no such KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK  I sigh in annoyance and get off the couch to answer the door.

I make a detour to the coffee table to retrieve my sunglasses but at the last second I decide to open the door unprotected and unpolarised.

Damn your eyes

Even from behind the screen door I am transfixed how is it possible for a person to possess eyes so green?

I try to look away but I am too slow and I feel myself falling into the vortex and I happily tumble in your forest so thick and green 

Your eyes shine like emeralds two perfect gems and I am almost blinded by their brilliance ‘Hello excuse me but are you going to make a donation or not? I haven’t got the time to stand here all day’

The spell is broken ‘Oh sorry I will go and grab my wallet’

Back inside I pick up my sunglasses my trusty disguise

Damn your eyes.

Our fingers touch as I hand over the money and the goose pimples tingle my skin ‘Thank you sir have a nice day’

Your butt sways when you walk and your hair soaks up the suns rays.

The birds are singing but when you are gone my soul crumbles and dies.

Damn your eyes.

So once again I retreat to my bedroom where I soon have some issues with the tissues.

The monkey has been spanked leaving me relieved and sated and mr floppy retreats back into the undergrowth.

Will I ever figure out what goes on in the minds of the fairer sex or will I just have to choke the chicken forever more.

I already have an extra large arm like popeye and it isn’t from eating spinach.

But I am only twenty one and I am sure I will eventually work out the who how or why’s.

Damn your eyes.

A week later and my mind is still in turmoil so I decide to so for a drive to clear my head.

So I grab my car keys and sunglasses and soon I am reversing my corolla out of the driveway.

My Toyota might be small and compact but it flies.

Damn your eyes.

I only get about 500 metres down the road when I see red and blue flashing lights in my rear view mirror. ‘Jesus what now?’

I pull over and watch the female officer approach ‘Licence please driver’

Sorry officer but what is the problem I am positive I wasn’t speeding’

She removes her sunglasses but I keep mine firmly in place and even through the dark lens I can see that her eyes are a rich brown and I just hope that I am not in deep shit.

I try to look cool calm and collected with a hint of healthy and wise.

Damn your eyes.

You might think I am stupid but I decide to remove my shades for a closer inspection.

Immediately the earth is thrown from its axis and I land with a splash in a giant glass of chocolate milk.

I dive and taste the choc goodness but soon I am overcome by all the chocolate because it is my number one addiction,well that and beer.

Then I experience an awkward feeling down between my thighs.

Damn your eyes.

I need to get to my room and I mean NOW.

‘Excuse me sir but are you listening to me? ‘Of course officer I was just lost in my thoughts’ ‘Well pay attention and I will tell you why I pulled you over today’

‘Your drivers side brake light isn’t working and I was going to let you off with a warming but you seem a little agitated’

Well of course I am agitated I have just creamed my Calvin Kliens so forgive me if I look uncomfortable my voice silently cries.

Damn your eyes.

Then I realise that the policewoman is still talking ‘Sorry officer but I just have a touch of the cock snot blues I get it every day’

‘Uh sorry I mean I have the man flu I get it every year’

‘Step out of the car now mister

‘God how did I end up in such a sticky situation?’

‘Out of your now or I will arrest you for obstructing police’

‘OK officer hold your horses’

I climb out but I can barely moved in my cum filled calvins and levi’s

Damn your eyes

‘How much have you had to drink today sir ? Look at yourself you can hardly stand still you are squirming all over the place’

Sorry officer but I haven’t been drinking and I don’t do drugs’

But what I can’t tell you is that I am full of raging hormones and testosterone just like all the other guys

Damn your eyes

                                        THE END