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Part One.

In the first installment of this story i introduced you to Mister Big Cheese a huge rat who ruled the sewers beneath the streets of Manhattan.

He is currently having trouble with the human population of the borough who are laying traps and poisons in an attempt to rid New York City of its rodent problem.

So the head rat called a summit meeting with the other leaders of the other boroughs to warn them of the human intervention plus he has ambitions to be the number one rat of the whole city not just Manhattan so the meeting will give him a chance to size up his opponents.

Three days later the rats met beneath a park bench in central park on the stroke of midnight and first up to greet Mister Big was the leader of the rats over in Staten Island Mister Feta and just like his name suggests he was fragile and tended to crumble easily under pressure and was certainly no threat but The Cheese immediately to a liking to the friendly rat.

Next were the leaders from The Bronx and Brooklyn Mister Brie and Camembert and even though they both put on a tough exterior they couldn’t hide the fact that they were soft and gooey on the inside but Mister Big Cheese knew that they would follow his instructions and be important allies.

Finally the head rat from Queens, Mister Parmigiano arrives, he is known to be strong and sharp and he doesn’t suffer fools and he is also highly ambitious and Mister Big Cheese knows that that Parmigiano will need watching of that he is positive.

After talking for over an hour about the trapping and poisons that have killed thousands of their kind and suggesting that they all go back to their boroughs and tell their rodent friends to be vigilant he is rudely interrupted by the sour and smelly Parmigiano ‘Who put you in charge? How dare you stand up on your soapbox telling us what we should be doing about the slaughter of our population by the humans.’

You might rule teeny weeny Manhattan but that doesn’t give you the right to dictate to us, shut the fuck up and listen for a change, we need to attack the people who are killing us and not scurry away with our tails between out legs.’

‘The people on the streets need to be taught a lesson and that is, if you try to destroy the rat we will strike with a vengeance and eradicate the human population from this city, now i am going back to Queens to draw up an action plan so who is with me?’

Mister Big Cheese cant quite believe what he is hearing, he called this meeting to strengthen his position and now this upstart from Queens is attempting to steal his thunder, the asshole even has the nerve to call a vote for his diabolical scheme.

Fifteen minutes later victory is secured by Parmigiano and he raises a claw to celebrate the win.

Mister Big Cheese hangs his head in defeat and without another word he slinks away into the darkness.

The other leaders know that attacking the people in revenge will only make the matters worse but Mister Parmigiano is tough and built like a brick outhouse so they had chose but to side with him so they to head back to their boroughs to await orders from the new leader of the rat.

Perched on a toilet seat at an old abandoned underground station Mister Big Cheese is still seething feeling down in the dumps but suddenly his whiskers twitch in glee when he remembers an incident a few years back.

It was a chilly afternoon and he was minding his own business chewing on an discarded apple when a street wise cat appeared out of nowhere swinging a paw that almost took off his head but then a rat came up behind the feline biting it on the ass.

The rat in question was called Mister Stillson because he was as hard as nails with a smell about him that was somewhat pleasant but at the same time nasty very nasty indeed.

As he ponders his future Mister Big Cheese wonders where Mister Stillson is now because he knows that if he is to save New York City he is going to need some help and the rat from God knows where could be his savior.

Part Two.

After being humiliating defeat Mister Big Cheese was forced to flee to Chicago leaving his loyal sidekick Mister Cheddar in charge while he cools his heels in exile but he knows that sooner or later he will have to return to New York City before Parmigiano reduces the metropolis to a ruin of disease and destruction.

The coward is currently holed up near Canadian border where he fled when the human authorities to kill his loyal rat followers with chemical baits and flamethrowers.

Mister Big Cheese knows that the turncoat will scurry back to his Queens headquarters when the coast is clear and when he does The Cheese will take him down once and for all.

Hopefully Mister Stilton will be by his side and together they will hopefully bring stability back to his home city.

In an old abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of Bangor Maine a smelly old rat is is snuggled safe and sound in his nest behind a rusty washing machine.

Mister Stilton has always had over active scent glands and when you you are a contract killer for hire having a nasty tang makes it hard to sneak up on your prey.

As he licks the offending gland he is startled by a loud knocking on the side of the machine.

Tucking the gland out of sight he is intrigued to find out who is seeking him out but before he can take a peek a note is pushed into his hidey hole followed by the sound of retreating footsteps.

Opening the note he begins to read’ Hello old friend i hope you are well? I trust that you have heard about the mayhem happening right now in New York? The instigator is an young upstart rat from Queens named Mister Parmigiano’

‘He has become a huge problem and needs to be put to rest permanently before the calamity in our city gets completely out of control’

‘I will be on the corner of Third and Maple every night from Wednesday the 3rd, please Mister Stilton i beg your presence post haste.

Yours Sincerely

Mister Big Cheese.

After a quick dip in the toilet bowl and a liberal application of heavy duty deodorant Stilton packs a knapsack full personal hygiene products, he then hurries thorough a cornfield to the local train station where he jumps on a freight train heading to New York City.

Two days later he arrives in the big apple and quickly finds his way to the rendezvous point.

He is a little early so he hides behind a trashcan and waits for his friend to arrive and an hour later the leader of the Manhattan rat cartel scurries into view and immediately races behind the bin ‘Jesus Stilton i could smell your odor from three blocks away, haven’t you heard of having a shower every now and then?

‘ Nice to see you too Mister Big Cheese, you know that i have a gland problem that becomes inflamed when i am anxious and a little nervous but enough about me lets get down to business’

Moving down wind from Stilton The Cheese begins’ First off thanks for coming because i have a huge problem on my hands and only you can give me a permanent solution’

‘Mister Parmigiano the self appointed leader of the rat population in Queens has started a war with the humans, there is fighting all over the city but thankfully Manhattan is still under my control but soon Parmigiano will want a complete stranglehold on the whole city’

‘I have put some feelers out and have found out that he is holed up in a little town called Mississauga up on the border’

‘Locate the fucker and neutralize him before the humans completely annihilate the rat from the city’

‘Bring me his head and in return i will provide you with an endless supply of your favorite food but please Stilton control your glands before they get you killed’

Stilton nods his head and gives the offending gland a little rub before racing off to complete his mission.

‘In the sewer beneath an ice cream factory in Mississauga Mister Parmigiano is living the life of a king surrounded by a thousand of his most loyal followers who attend to his every need.

It has been eight days since he ordered war against the human aggressors and so far the battalions of rats around the boroughs have achieved great success.

Most rats are infested with fleas and carry the rabies virus so a single bite from 100 million rodents will quickly infect the humans killing millions of the annoying creatures.

Parmigiano hopes that by 2023 New York City will be his for the taking and he the honorable Mister Parmigiano will become the first rodent mayor of the big apple and now with the help from Covid his mission to bring the human being down will be so much easier.

Tomorrow he will return to Queens and step up operations but first he will travel to Manhattan and put the so called Mister Big Cheese out of his misery.

Stilton sneaks into Mississauga and immediately hones in on the ice cream factory and his whiskers twitch in excitement.

Parmigiano might think that he is king shit but his hideout was remarkably easy to locate but unknowingly he has walked into a trap.

He is quickly surrounded by a dozen or rats who with four bites sever his achilles tendons so for Mister Stilton there will be no escape.

He is dragged beneath the factory and left at Parmigiano’s feet ‘Well well if it isn’t the smelly assassin himself Mister Stilton’

‘Let me tell you that your stench precedes you, it is amazing how you have been a successful killer for so many years when you smell like a colony of lepers left out to rot in the sun’

‘After i kill you i will leave your carcass outside for the buzzards to feast on but i think that even the flesh eating birds will disregard your bones.’

Stilton wants to tell the fucker that he has a gland problem but he knows that he would be wasting his breath so he stays silent staring back at his killer in defiance.

Parmigiano knows that Mister Big Cheese is behind the attempt to take him down and his beady black eyes narrow in hatred ‘Hold him still’

Snarling with perverse pleasure Parmigiano waits until his would be assassin is held secure then he dives in and rips Stilton apart.

Thankfully Stilton dies moments after his internal organs are devoured by Parmigiano who tweaks his whiskers as he swallows the final morsel of liver ‘The meat is all your boys but leave the head untouched because i am sending it to my friend in Manhattan as a reminder of what will happen to him if he continues to stand in my way’

Early the next morning Mister Big Cheese wakes in his nest of newspaper in a happy mood, he is confident that Stilton will have rid the earth from the tyranny of Parmigiano and hopefully avoid all out war between man and rat.

When he finishes his breakfast and takes a dump behind a bucket he races upstairs to begin a brand new day but almost stumbles over a blood soaked package sitting in the middle of his doorstep.

Deep down he knows what the contents of the package will contain but with dread he gingerly eats through the string binding the parcel and after a quick peak to confirm his suspicions Mister Big Cheese violently regurgitates his breakfast on the floor, hanging his head in sorrow The Cheese knows that he and he alone is responsible for the death of his friend ‘I vow to you Stilton that the rat who killed you will be brought to justice and sentenced to a slow demise at the hands of your truly’

Through misty eyes he notices a piece of paper sticking out from beneath the severed head. picking it up he reads ‘I trust that you are enjoying the company the company of Stilton even though he mightn’t have much to say? but enough small talk Mister Big Wheeze this is your first and final warning, get out of town while you still can or you will have the same fate as Mr Smelly’

‘If you are still in Manhattan tomorrow evening i will personally visit you in the shithole you live in and happily send you on a one way trip to hell’

‘Get out of my city before i crawl up your asshole and eat you from the inside out’

Your Sincerely

Mister Parmigiano

Mister Big Cheese crumples the note and throws it to the ground in anger, if that turd with a tail thinks that i will runaway and leave my city for him to destroy he has got another thing coming.

Stepping out into the sunshine he knows that time is of the essence so he hurries away without looking back, it saddens him to leave his home but he has little choose in the matter because if he is to out smart Parmigiano he will have to find a safe place to stay in the city away from his clutches.

Thousands of his followers run behind him but Mister Big Cheese that having them around will only attract attention so he stops in his tracks holding up a claw ‘As you all know Parmigiano is after my blood so for safety as well as my own i ask you to go home to your burrows and bunker down until i send word’

Manhattans finest scurries down a storm water drain on his way to God knows where but if New York City is to survive he will have to come up with a plan to stop Parmigiano otherwise the big apple will be turn rotten all the way to its core.

Parmigiano for the moment puts all thoughts of how he will end Mister Big Cheese’s dominance because he has a war to run after all.

Sitting at his feet in his headquarters in Queens are the three timid head rats from Staten Island, The Bronx and Brooklyn, the trio are shaking so much their tremors would most likely register around 7.2 on the Richter scale.

Parmigiano looks at with distain ‘Listen up and listen good’ pointing a gnarly claw at Mister Camembert he snarls’ Go back to Brooklyn and order your troops to engage in all out war, they are to chew through wires and cables to sever communications with the outside world’

‘Secondly foul the drinking water and contaminate all food sources but then you are to maim and kill as many people as you can and soon the city will be mine’

‘Once New York is controlled by the rat the rodent populations all over the nation will rise up and join us in the fight and i guarantee to you that by the end of the year the human nemesis will surrender and this country will therefore become known as the United Rats Of America, now lets bow heads and pray’

When Parmigiano closes his eyes the three frightened rats join claws in prayer but they aren’t praying for Parmigiano’s success instead all they want is a return to the status quo where the rat and the human being can live together like they have done for thousands of years.

After his absolutions are complete Parmigiano stares down the three amigo’s ‘Alright you three hurry back to your boroughs and begin your mission and remember if you fail to carry out my orders i will not only kill you but all of your relatives will be burnt alive on the stake’

Mister Big Cheese runs for miles along the sewers under the bustling city not really knowing where he is going but when he sticks his head out of a grate he looks skyward all the way to the top of the empire state building.

His nose twitches as it tastes the air for any signs of aggression or tension but when he is satisfied that all is well the Big Block Of Cheese smiles to himself.

The Empire State Building what an ideal place to make his final stand now all he has to do is lure his enemy within reach and then bring the motherfucker down.

The president of the United States the honorable Collard Chump is in the bathroom at the white house taking care of business when a loud single knock on the door tells him that it is time to attend to more important business.

With one last admiring glance in the the bathroom mirror the leader of the free world hitches up his trousers ready to take on whatever crisis is happening on this fine morning.

‘Sorry to bother you Mister President’ Secretary of State Wilson Petrie says not looking all that bothered at all ‘There is activity up in New York City that i think that you should be made aware of, apparently there has been dozens of deaths attributed to the rat population over there’

‘From all reports the rats are deliberately attacking people killing them in their beds while they sleep plus all communication with the city ceased three hours ago and it is suspected that the rats have severed the lines so now we are somewhat in the dark but satellite vortex will be directly above New York City in four hours Mister President so then we will have a clearer picture of what is happening’

‘There has been no contact with Mayor Guillo?’ President Chump asks his senior advisor’ No Mister President his office is apparently surrounded by the rodent vermin and we have been unable to contact him’

‘Why don’t we send in the national guard and wipe out the rats, what are the local police doing to ease the situation surely they could organize sort sort of poisoning program to rid the city of this scourge?

‘With respect Mister President New York and all cities across this great nation have been trying to exterminate the rat since Columbus landed here’

‘The problem is that there are billions of rats in every town and city from coast to coast and they are small in size so they are hard to locate because they can scurry away and hide at any sign of trouble so sending in the guard would be next to useless and also Sir the current generation of rat has built up a resistance to the poisons and they are smart and have learnt to avoid traps and evade capture’

‘But Mister President there might be a solution close at hand but at this stage it is still in the experimental stage and bear with me Sir this might sound crazy but the scientists at the Center For Disease Control have been working on the rodent problem for a decade or more and before communications were cut i had been speaking with the Director at the Center and he and his colleagues have developed a feline that is capable of following all rodents into every nook and cranny these rats care to hide in, these felines capture and neuter the male of the species breaking the breeding cycle which will drastically reduce the rat population to more manageable numbers’

‘What do you mean Mister Secretary? A mutant pussy cat?’

‘Yes Mister President these cats aren’t your ordinary house cat these felines are robotic made from some sort of liquid metallic substance that enables them to get right up close to the enemy and when they do these robot cats release a hormone that sterilizes the male rats so it is a win win situation, we exterminate the rat without using deadly harsh chemicals and you would surely win the next election in a landslide Mister President’

President Chump runs his hands through the ginger mop adorning his head and smiles a smile that would make the Mona Lisa blush.

‘Make it happen Mister Secretary make it happen’

Situated behind an old oil heater on the ground floor of the empire state building Mister Big Cheese has no idea that his life is about to be snuffed out.

Just twenty feet away Parmigiano watches his nemesis closely just waiting for the right moment and when the Cheese turns away for a second he pounces with deadly force.

Mister Big Cheese is dozing thinking about times before the current shitstorm when he suddenly finds himself on his back with a sharp object pressed against his throat. ‘Don’t move Mister Big Wheeze or i will cut you open from ear to ear’

‘I came here to kill you but i am having second thoughts on the matter, perhaps you and i can become partners in crime and turn this nation inside out and upside down what do you think Wheezy?’

‘First of all my name is Mister Big Cheese and i would never have anything to do with any half ass scheme you of come up with but first how did you find me so easily?”

‘You might think that you are special but you are just an ordinary rat like me Mister Not So Big Cheese,i followed your scent of course, you have your own very distinctive smell so i simply followed your odour all the way to the here and now.’

‘Congratulations Parmigiano now maybe you could smell your own tang and disappear up your own ass?’

‘Good one Mister Nobody just hear me out and if you decide that today is the day to die then i will do the deed with glee but i need a lieutenant that i can rely on and i know that we come from the opposite side of the spectrum but together we could achieve greatness and make the rat the head honcho and reduce the human to a beast of burden a slave to serve us whenever we whistle, so what do you say are you with me or not’

Mister Big Cheese has no intentions to become an underling to Parmigiano but when your death is in the hands of a crazy rat your choses are limited but at the same time it would be to tell the humans that they have become a little to big for their britches so he nods his head in agreement’

‘I wouldn’t move your head much if i were you Wheezy because my big toe is mighty sharp and could easily sever your spine but all jokes aside it is good to have you on my side, now my quest to have a world without the existence of the human being can begin’.

The two rats from polar opposites shake claws and immediately start talks of how they can exterminate the humans once and for all.

THE END

Who will win the battle of the species, the rat or the human?

Come back and read Part Three and i will give you the answer if i am still here.