Carpenters Crack


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The following is a story about an annoying little crack


Everyone in the world has heard about the andreas fault line in the united states.

But there is also a little known fissure down under in Australia.

The carpenters crack.


The crack first appeared on the evening of 26 August 2016.


It ran right down the middle of the main road in Alice Springs,Northern Territory.

At first it was only five feet long and a foot deep.

But as every hour when by the crack got longer wider and deeper.


At 11 pm when all of the pubs closed for the night a local named Joel Carpenter stumbles outside.

He is wearing a wobbly boot and has a serious case of the munchies

The local take away is lit up like a Christmas tree so Joel makes his way over and orders a works burger and a shit load of chips.

As he wait for his food Joel plays a battered old pinball machine and sings along with the radio.

When his number is called he grabs his meal and goes out into the night.


After a while he crosses the main street to take a short cut through the park when the road beneath him

Joel cries out in surprise but manages to grab hold of the edge of the asphalt with one hand.

He has dropped the bag of chips but the burger is held in a vice like grip.


But he sobers up real quick when he realises the trouble that he is in.

So he has one last bite from from tasty burger and reluctantly lets it drop into the crack.

And luckily Joel’s cries were heard by a few of the locals who come running over to see what the commotion is all about.

And they look over the edge of the crack in wonder.


One of them is a loud mouth who goes by the name of Bones pipes up’Well well well if it isn’t Joel Carpenter stuck in a crack’

Ha ha ha a carpenters crack,do you all get it ,do ya?’

I get it Bones’ Joel screams from below’But why don’t you stop flapping your gums and pull me up’.

And so the carpenters crack was born.


Once Joel is back on terra firma he and the others look down at the opening in the middle of the main drag.

What caused the road to crack open in the first place?

The ground didn’t shake so  there wasn’t an earthquake.

Plus there aren’t any volcano’s in Australia.

So maybe it is a sink hole or worse it is the Devil downstairs getting ready to make an appearance.


The authorities soon arrive and the whole area is cordoned off,search lights are set up around the perimeter.

And five policemen are stationed to keep an eye on the crack and to keep the locals away until reinforcements arrive from Adelaide at first light.


The carpenters crack is nasty but at the same time somewhat alluring.

You want to avert your eyes but you can’t stop looking.


After a few hours of patrolling the area the cops are bored out of their minds so they wander back to a squad car for some coffee and donuts.

But after eating a dozen chocolate glazed and drinking a thermos full of instant coffee they aren’t in the mood to going back on patrol.

So they decide to stay in the car and keep an eye on the crack from the comfort of the upholstered seats.


Than an almighty boom revertabrates throughout the outback it sounds like the sky is falling.

The police jump out of the car just in time and watch in amazement as the crack opens and their squad car disappears into the void.


The crack is moving faster than any carpenter ever has,it moves with lightning speed as it rips the Northern Territory apart.

What just a few hours ago was just an annoying little

Is now a national emergency.


As the cracks races north it hits the largest rock in the world the mammoth Uluru and it collapses into a pile of stone and dust.

And the wetlands of Kakadu National Park drain down into the abyss.

The crack is also ripping and tearing as it races south completely cutting off remote communities and small towns.

And because this disaster is happening way out beyond the black stump.

Most Australians aren’t even aware that a national crisis is afoot until they wake up and turn on the good morning news.


They watch as the crack explodes north toward Darwin and south to the great australian bite.

Helicopters fly over the over the crack sending back vision that sends a whole country into mourning.

Is Australia about to be torn in half?


In Canberra,the capitol of Australia,the prime minister is in crisis talks with his ministers about this latest disaster to hit the country.

And after an hour of discussion he orders the military to be mobilised.

If this crack isn’t stopped in its tracks Australia will be split in two.


In South Australia the crack is heading straight towards cockapiddy a small town on the nullabor plain.

While up north the crack is closing in fast on Tennant Creek.

Will these and other communities survive the crack?


A nation holds its breath.


The commander of the military General Roger B Highpants knows that he hasn’t got much time.

So he hitches up his trousers and gives the command ‘Take that crack down’

And after a day of bombardment the crack is obliterated and Australia is saved in the nick of time.


Not one Australian went to work that day they all gathered around their esky’s and BBQ’s.

And watched as the brave men and women of the armed forces bombed the shit out of that crack.

The slate has been wiped clean.


Live in Australia and in particular the small towns in the outback has returned to normal.

The crack is longer a immediate threat to the people of the nation.

But you can be reassured that everyone is on the lookout for another outback crack attack.



Whole Lot Of Trouble


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This is a story about a mischievous Kitten who is more than a handful.


It is just before midnight and under an old abandoned house a mother cat is about to give birth.

She has built a sheltered area behind a rusty hot water tank the perfect place to deliver her kittens.


This is her fifth litter and she is struggling to breathe,her heart is racing and her blood pressure is rising.

If she doesn’t give birth soon she might not survive the ordeal.

In desperation she gives a massive push and delivers nine healthy kittens.


But a tiny male kitten is just hanging on to life.

He is the runt of the litter and soon he is pushed aside by his brothers and sisters so he isn’t getting the nourishment he needs.

And when he finally latches onto a teat all he gets is a few lousy drops.


He falls asleep not knowing that he  is in mortal danger.

If he doesn’t get a decent suckle soon he wont survive more than a day or two.

But he sleeps his little tail wags as he dreams that he is the biggest baddest cat in the neighbourhood.

The meanest tom in town.


When he wakes he fights his siblings in a final effort to suckle his mothers milk and he is the first kitten that morning to latch onto a teat.

And over the following days and weeks his strength and stamina improve he is no longer the runt of the litter.

In fact he has become downright bossy and demanding constantly fighting for milk and attention.


The mother cat has noticed the kitten fighting and not wanting to get along with her other kittens.

She puts up with it until the bossy kitten has put on weight and is ready to face the world and regretfully she has come to a decision.

She picks up the kitten by the scruff of the neck and carries him outside and puts him down by the back fence.

Then she licks him goodbye and trots back to her other kittens.


The kitten watches as his mother until she is no longer in view.

Now for the first time in his short life he is completely alone in the big bad world.

He curls up into a little ball to make himself invisible to predators and cries and whines in his loneliness.


Nine year old Billy Faulkner is on his way home from school when he hears a strange noise coming from the long grass nearby.

He has a look and discovers a little kitten looking sad and forlorn crying for it’s mother.

Without a second thought he picks up the furball and puts it in his backpack and walks home.

Hopefully his mommy will let him keep the kitten.


Arriving home Billy says hello to his mommy who is in the kitchen preparing his favourite snack chocolate chip cookies and a big glass of milk.

Billy normally would talk to his mommy about his day at school but today is different.

So he tells his mommy he has a lot of homework to do so he takes his snack and backpack into his room.


In his room Billy feeds the kitten crumbs of cookies and lets it slurp milk straight from the glass.

Than for twenty minutes or so Billy and his new kitten pay and tumble around on his bed.

But because the kitten hasn’t been weaned yet he cant digest the cookies properly and soon smelly stuff is coming out of both ends.


Billy starts to cry because his mommy will surely give him a spanking when she finds the dirty sheets and wont let him keep his kitten.

So he keeps quite at dinner and pretends that all is well as he chats about school and the new friends that he has made.

But he doesn’t mention the kitten now isn’t the right time he will tell her first thing in the morning.


After watching television for a few hours together Billy’s mom kiss’es him goodnight and tells him that it is time for bed.

Billy says ‘goodnight mommy’ and goes to his bedroom where he waits for an hour to make sure that his mommy is asleep.

Than he drags the dirty sheets into the laundry.


Billy has never used the washing machine before ,but how hard can it be?

He picks up the box of detergent wondering how many scoops to add when the kitten jumps onto the machine.

‘No kitty get down you have caused enough trouble already’ but the kitten is in a playful mood and nudges the box of soap.’No kitty no’ but Billy cant stop what happens next he can only watch as the contents of the box fall into the washing machine.

‘Oh well’ Billy thinks,at least the sheets will be nice and clean.


Billy and the kitten go back into his room waiting for the machine to complete it’s cycle.

They play for a while until Billy starts to yawn and the kitten follows suite and falls asleep.

Billy reads a comic book as the kitten sleeps on his chest ‘Jesus how long does it take for a wash to finish?One more chapter and i will go check’


But Billy doesn’t get to the end of the chapter he falls asleep and he and the kitten are soon snoring in unison.

With both of them dreaming pleasant thoughts.


Billy is awoken in the morning by an almighty shriek.

He sits up in his bed ‘God it sounds like mommy is having a cow.’

‘Maybe she has seen a mouse or a spider’ But when he enters the hallway he is confronted by a wall of suds.’Holy shit what have i done?

Through the bubbles he can see mommy slipping and sliding down the floorboards.

He tries not to smile but he can’t help himself.,but the smile soon vanishes’Billy what in the fuck have you done?’


Billy can’t believe what he is hearing his mommy has never said the F word before’OK mister start talking and make it quick’

Billy tries to get the words out but they are stuck in his throat so he takes a deep breath and starts again’Sorry mommy but i found a little kitten yesterday so i brought him home to look after it.but i fed it too many cookies and it spewed all over my sheets’

‘So i put the sheets in the washing machine but i must of used too much detergent’

He smiles like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth hoping that mommy will see the funny side.


But before his mommy can say a word the kitten in question strolls into the room like it owns the place.

Purring and meowing for attention.

Billy bends down and picks up his new best fiend knowing that he is still in trouble.

‘Please mommy can i keep him?He want get in the way,please can he stay?’


When she see’s that her son is on the verge of tears her heart softens ‘Alright Billy the kitten can stay,but you will have to look after it and keep it out of my way’

So mother and son go shopping for everything that a kitten would need.

Cat food,flea collar,food and water bowls and a litter tray.


But right a way there is trouble.

The kitten refuses to use the litter tray,instead it chooses to leave little piles all over the house.

It scratches the stuffing out of all of the furniture and sheds hair everywhere.


Billy is continually running behind the kitten picking up all of the little parcels.

But he is losing the battle and soon the house smells like a cats toilet.

‘God who knew that owning a kitten would be so much trouble?’


That night Billy forgot to close his bedroom door and the kitten takes the opportunity to go for a midnight stroll.

He wanders up the stairs and straight into Billy’s mommy’s room.

The smell of female hormones and the comforting beat of a heart has caught his attention.

So he jumps up and snuggles on those twin peaks.


Then he changes position until he is sitting on her face.

And soon she wakes up struggling to breathe,she is being smothered to death by something warm and furry.

She takes a hold of the obstruction and throws it across the room where the kitten lands and takes off like a bat out of hell.


Billy’s mom opens her eyes in time to see the kitten race out of her room.

She smiles to herself but at the same time she knows that this kitten is going to be a whole lot of trouble.


Part two of this story is coming soon so come back and feed your need to read.

Hell Dorado ( Part Two )


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In part one of this story I introduced you to Daniel Carruthers a mild mannered archivist who has worked at the national library in London for over twenty years.

But Daniel was bored out of his mind there must be more to life than working as a civil servant.

He needed something to spice up his life.


And as luck would have it one day as he was sorting through a box of old books and letters.

He came across a journal that belonged to the famous explorer Sir Walter Raleigh.

As Daniel read the journal the came across that chapter that mentions el dorado and a map of it’s possible location.

Already the lust for gold has infected Daniel’s brain.


He quit his job and flew to Colombia where he met a local named Miquel who became his business partner.

Together they led an expedition of a dozen guides on the quest for el dorado where they travelled through the jungle looking for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.


After two weeks of searching and finding nothing the group camp on the edge of a raging river to contemplate their next move.

The guides threaten to turn back if they aren’t paid immediately and soon an argument brakes out and Miquel is shot and killed.

Daniel and one of the Guido wrestle over the journal and fall into the swirling water below.

Taking the journal with them.


Part Two.

When Daniel and Guido hit the water they are immediately swept downstream where they tumble around like ragdolls scraping their bodies on some sharp rocks.

They both shoot to the surface bloodied and bruised but still alive Daniel is clutching the journal to his chest.

And miraculously it is still bone dry.


The remaining guides follow the two downstream in a couple of rusty old land rovers than one of them points ahead to a massive waterfall.

If they can get to the bottom of the falls before the two doomed men then they can get their hands on the journal and become rich beyond their wildest dreams.


Daniel and Guido are both struggling to stay alive when they both go over the edge to an almost certain death.


Beneath the falls the guides watch as Daniel and Guido go over the edge it is fifty metres down to a lagoon below.

There is no way that anyone could survive that fall.


As he goes to his death Daniel knows that he was a fool to travel halfway across the world seeking his fortune in gold.

El dorado has become hell dorado.

He closes his eyes says goodbye to his family and friends and waits for the inevitable.


All the way down he clutches the journal that has brought him nothing but pain and sorrow.

He wants to throw the journal into the water but for some reason he just can’t let go.

Than a hand grabs hold of Daniel’s left ankle and he and Guido are pulled into the waterfall.


On the shoreline the guides watch in disbelief as the two men disappear from view.

One second they were falling to their death than they just vanish into thin air.

They wait for an hour and still no bodies appear so they decide to hang around until they can get their hands on the journal.


When Daniel comes to his senses he realises that it wasn’t a hand  that saved him and Guido from a certain death it was a tentacle.

And that tentacle is attached to a giant octopus.


The octopus is at least thirty feet in length with tentacles the same length again and it holds Daniel and Guido in a death grip.

Guido is slowly losing his mind as the octopus squeezes even harder ‘Listen here you motherfucker if you don’t put me down right now I will turn you into a big pile of calamari and shit you out tomorrow’

The octopus swings Guido down and holds him under you water to knock the fight out of him.

Than the octopus brings the tentacle holding a stunned Guido to its beak and Guido is eaten alive.


Daniel is shaking with fright as he hears Guido’s bones snap as he becomes a part of the food chain.

The octopus swings Daniel towards it’s mouth and Daniel knows that there is no escape this time,he is about to become dessert and there is nothing he can do about it.

But than the octopus brings Daniel up to eye level where they stare at each other.

Daniel looks deep into the big black orb and prays for a quick death an end to this foolish adventure.

But the octopus has other ideas because he lowers Daniel to the ground and disappears beneath the murky depths.


Daniel can’t believe his luck as he watches the beast dive to digest his meal

He turns away and for the for time he has a chance to take in his surroundings and he can’t quite believe what he is seeing.

The sky is crimson and the trees are a vivid orange and overhead shines a huge blue moon

He looks at the journal to get his bearings and slowly makes his way toward a distant snow capped mountain’

Hopefully he will find the famous lake guatavita and discover the gold f el dorado.


As Daniel walks he studies the journal and he even starts to whistle he has a good feeling about this place.

Than from behind him he hears the sound of approaching hooves.And when he looks back he is astonished to see a white unicorn trotting toward him.


When the unicorn gets level with Daniel it stops and squats to the ground.’Are you going to stand there gawking or are you going to jump aboard so we can be on our way?’

Daniel mounts the talking unicorn and commands’Take me to el dorado’

The unicorn winks at Daniel and trots off toward the distant mountain.


Daniel hangs on to the unicorn’s mane as it gallops along a rocky path and than without even a ‘hang on’ the unicorn unfolds its wings and takes to the sky.

Daniel says a few words that his mother wouldn’t like and hangs on for grim death as the unicorn weaves  between the clouds on the way to el dorado.


After a few hours the pair reach the mountain and the unicorn flies lower and lower trying to find a good place to land.

Than a lake comes into view and the unicorn glides down and performs a perfect landing on the shoreline.

Daniel dismounts glad to be back on terra firma again.


Meanwhile the unicorn has wandered off to eat some orange leaves and pink grass.

Than it lifts its tail and deposits a pile of golden manure on the ground.

‘Holy crap’Daniel can’t believe his eyes as he stares down at the golden mound.

There is gold everywhere.


Daniel sits on he edge of the lake dangling his feet in the cold water when a figure appears in the middle of the lake guatavita.

Daniel stares in wonder at the man and righty assumes that this is non other than the legendary King El Rey Dorado.

The king stands seven feet tall and his body is covered in gold dust while his head is adorned with peacock feathers.


King El Rey Dorado raises both arms in the air and prays to the heavens than he reaches into a pouch on his waist and throws nuggets of gold into the lake to appease the gods.

And to bring good fortune to his people.


The king calls out to the unicorn who trots over to his master and after getting reacquainted

The king climbs onto the unicorn and the pair soon disappear around a bend.

Not once had the king even acknowledged Daniel’s presence.


When he is alone Daniel runs around like a madman scooping up as many nuggets as he can.

He fills all of his pockets and a backpack with the ill gotten gains and struggles to stay upright.

Now that he has proof of el dorado’s existence he will be able to convince the guides to come back and help him plunder the land until there is nothing left but dirt and dust.


Than it finally dawns on Daniel that he is lost and alone in a strange land but he is now very very rich what can be better than that?

He looks around at the magnificent lake and mountain than he sets course back toward the waterfall.

But he struggles under the weight of the gold.


He is having a rest on the side of the road when a dodo bird walks up to him ‘Need a ride?

Nothing about this land surprises Daniel anymore so he climbs onto the back of the dodo and tells it to head to the waterfall ‘Fly as fast as you can’

The dodo look back at Daniel with disdain ‘I am a dodo bird I do not fly but I can walk at a brisk pace’

Daniel nods his head and the dodo walks off toward the waterfall.

But it soon starts to tire.


‘You are too heavy please lose the excess weight  or I will have to leave you here’

Daniel isn’t about to leave any gold behind so he dismounts the dodo who quickly waddles away.


Daniel is now stranded many miles and hours of travel time from the waterfall and there is no way he can walk that far carrying all the gold.

He doesn’t want to jettison any gold but now he mightn’t have any choice.

Than he remembers the journal in his backpack he pulls it out hoping against hope that the journal will somehow come to the rescue.


He lays the journal on the ground and opens it to a page where a crude map has been drawn by Sir Walter Raleigh.

As Daniel looks at the map it stirs and comes to life he watches as the river starts to run the mist shrouds the mountain and in the corner of the map way in the distance comes the sound of the waterfall.


Than the journal opens up and spreads out in the shape of a magic carpet than it hovers up to level with Daniels knees.

‘Well fuck me sideways Daniel whispers in awe ‘A freaking magic carpet’ He crawls into the middle of the journal.

And without a sound it glides toward the distant waterfall and home.


As the magic carpet makes toward freedom Daniel laughs with glee and waves his arms around in the breeze.

He is feeling a lot like Ali Baba but without the turban and the forty thieves.

And that gets Daniel thinking and he decides that he want return to plunder this beautiful land he will leave el dorado in peace.


As Daniel was daydreaming he has failed to notice that the magic carpet is closing in fast on the waterfall. Too fast in fact.

Daniel screams a warning to the journal but it takes no notice as it races full steam ahead.

But at least the octopus is nowhere in sight.


But Daniel has spoken to soon because just than the octopus rears its ugly head.

Daniel know if the octopus will be in a forgiving mood this time so he screams at the journal to give it all it has and the journal wraps itself around Daniel and takes off faster than a speeding bullet.


The journal with Daniel wraps all snug inside enters the beak of the octopus through the stomach past the bowel and intestines.

Then it explodes out of the bung hole like a runaway torpedo.


The journal crashes through the waterfall and lands with a splash in the lagoon on the other side.

Then the journal unfolds again and it floats to where the guides have been patiently waiting.

‘Well well well what do we have here one of the guides says as he pulls Daniel to his feet.

Then he notices the bulge in Daniel pockets ‘What’s in your pockets asshole?’

Daniel hangs his head he knows he cant beat all of the guides so he empties his pockets and one hundred gold nuggets tumble to the ground.


Except there isn’t any nuggets at Daniel’s feet all there are is one hundred pieces of coal.

Daniel laughs out loud’Oh well easy come easy go’

‘Sorry fellas but there is no el dorado the journal was a fake there is no gold it was a fools errand’

The guides are dumbstruck and offer no reply.


Daniel walks toward the land rovers but looks back just in time to see the journal floating back underneath the waterfall.

El dorado is safe.

For now.









Bi-polar (polar)


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Up in the arctic circle the polar bear is in a whole lot of trouble.

Winters are getting shorter and the temperature is rising.

And the pack ice is melting at an alarming rate.

And pack ice is essential if the polar is to hunt and survive.


If the polar bear can’t hunt and feed than that would be be end of the polar bear.

Do we really want to live in a world with no polar bear?

Well that is a real possibility if we don’t stop global warming right now.


But global warming isn’t the only threat facing the arctic circle right now


A rogue male polar bear named Frank is causing havoc with the animal population.

Word is spreading fast about this bear of many moods.

They call him cranky franky frank the tank and other names i can’t mention here.

And quite frankly the other animals have had enough.


At the moment Frank is feeling a little bit down.

In fact he is at the depth of despair.

You see Frank Frank is manic depressive or bi-polar as it is called these days.

He has found refuge in an old abandoned innuit igloo on the edge of the feeding


Frank hasn’t eaten in days because he can’t work up the energy to get out of bed

All because of a short circuit deep inside his brain.


Frank was the biggest polar bear in the area and could have had the pick of any female that he wanted.

If only the had the energy to venture outside.

Frank has no idea that his fat reserves are at a dangerously low level.

And if he doesn’t eat soon he will starve to death.

He has a look at the sleet falling outside rolls over and is soon fast asleep.


In the morning Frank feels like he could fly.

He jumps out of bed combs his fur sprays deodorant under his paw pits has a look in the mirror and goes outside.

He is ready for some serious polar bear action.


A female polar bear notices Frank standing outside his igloo looking skinny and desperate.

Like a boxer that has fought ten rounds and is slowly losing the fight.

The female has heard all about Frank and his moods so she gathers up her cubs heads to the hills.

Well there aren’t any hills in the arctic circle but she heads toward them anyway.

Because who knows what mood Frank is in today.


Frank cant help but notice the startled look on the females face.

Surely his moods haven’t been that bad?

But deep down Frank knows that lately he hasn’t been a very nice bear.

It is like living on the string of a yoyo up and down up and down.

Frank is getting dizzy because his moods are swinging so fast.

And he can’t control them.


A couple of days later Frank is moping about his igloo when an inner voice tells him that he really needs to eat.

So Frank works up the courage puts a smile on his face and goes outside to hunt.

And he is in luck.


Close to his igloo over a hundred walrus are relaxing on the ice digesting their lunch of fish and squid.

Frank sneaks up behind the walrus like a cat stalking a mouse.

But because he is way out of practise Frank bumbles and stumbles and the walrus

slip into the water turn around and flip Frank the bird.


Frank is ashamed of himself.

He is a polar bear so why can’t he behave like one?

Up here he is supposed to be on top of the food chain but at the moment he would struggle yo catch a cold.

Frank wanders back home with his tail between his legs.

Another day has gone by without him consuming any food.

This can’t go on much longer.


Frank is semi conscious in his igloo oblivious to a blizzard raging outside.

The wind is whipping up all sorts of muck and trouble

It also stirs up a patch of lichen and carries it off into the night.

And as luck would have it the lichen is blown straight into Franks igloo.

And a few pieces land on Franks tongue.


Frank coughs and splutters and swallows the lichen down.

Through out the night as Franks body digests the lichen his hormones regulate and go back on an even keel.

And in the morning Frank wakes up feeling refreshed having slept like a new born cub.


Frank is now back to his normal self.

The female bears are keeping him company once again.

And he is catching enough seals and walrus to feed the whole group.

Plus everyday he walks to a lichen patch to get his daily medication.

All is good in the world.


Frank the polar bear is controlling his mood swings completely unaware that his species

is under threat of extinction.

His enviroment is shrinking at an alarming rate.

All because of the activities of another species.

Homo sapians.


But knowing people like i do.

Nothing will get done until it is way too late.

Politicans will talk and talk until they are blue in the face

It will take them years to come to a decision.

And as people talk global warming will continue to decimate species and the ice will continue to melt.

It is now time for action.


Because it we don;t it will not only mean the extinction of the polar bear but the beginning of the end of mankind.




Stinger ( Part Two )


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In part one of this story i introduced you to El Groucho the meanest baddest drug smuggler in Mexico.

El Groucho had been smuggling drugs into America for decades but over  the last year or so all of his efforts have been thwarted by the american authorities.

So he came up with a very cunning plan.


He kidnapped an genetic scientist and his family and held them for ransom.

The scientist was told to come up with a way to smuggle drugs that was invisible to radar or his family would be killed.

After a week of trial and tribulation he finally came up with the idea of genetically modifying a wasp.

A wasp that at first was the size of a sparrow but now has grown to the size of a small plane.


The modified wasp started flying back and forth between Mexico and America delivering saddlebags full of cocaine to the american public and bringing back millions of dollars to El Groucho.

But during the long lonely flights the wasp started to dip its stinger into the saddlebags sampling the product.

And pretty soon the modified wasp was addicted.


Back in his compound El Groucho after having the scientist and hid family murdered.

Was busy counting his money when the modified wasp crashed through his living room wall killing a Few of El Groucho’s henchmen.

While El Groucho narrowly escaped by the skin of his teeth and made his way to a secret fortress near the pico de orizaba mountain.

And the modified flew off with his saddlebags full of cocaine.


Part Two.

The modified wasp has almost reached Texas feeling strung out a little bit worse for the weather.

Its saddlebags are empty and it desperately needs some relief.


The wasp is now the size of a large glider and is just as silent and like a stealth bomber it is invisible to radar,

With a stinger as long as a javelin and as thick as a mans arm

It is a weapon of enormous proportions a weapon of death.


The wasp starts to feel a little nostalgic as it comes in for a landing.

He never knew his mother but he knows that she was born in this neck of the woods.

So this is the perfect place to recuperate and rid his body from the drug dependency.


He lands near a large cave and crawls inside to cleanse his body and mind.

Then he closes his eyes and enters a state of hibernation.


As the wasp sleeps he shakes and shivers as his body screams out for a fix.

But he is not alone because all of the local insects come out to lend a helping hand.

They tend to all of his needs as he goes through cold turkey.


Two weeks later the wasp opens his eyes to the start of a brand new life

It crawls out of the cave and starts to beat his wings getting ready for takeoff.

And as he prepares to take to the sky he has only two things on his mind.

Rid America and Mexico from the scourge of drugs and to find and kill El Groucho.


At his fortress in the north of Mexico El Groucho is busy setting up a new operation.

He is still recovering from his encounter with the modified wasp but he is determined to once again be a major player in the drug trade.

After all the Americans still need to feed their habits and El Groucho is more than happy to supply their misery.


The wasp has just entered Mexican airspace when his stinger starts to twirl and twist it has honed in on a drug making warehouse.

The wasp lands silently on the roof of the warehouse and using its stinger like a can opener it peels back the corrugated iron.

It looks down onto the workers below as they bag up kilo after kilo of cocaine

Then it drops down like a blood thirsty bumble bee.


It lands with a thud in the middle of the room and the bagger’s scatter in all directions.

But the wasp isn’t interested in them they are just peasant folk trying to feed their families.

All of his concentration is on four guards armed with machine guns.

Soon the bullets are flying and the wasp is hit by over twenty rounds but they have little affect.

Because the wasps body has also modified it is now a two inch thick combination of kevlar and carbon steel.


It is on the guards with lightning speed and they are all despatched with a single bite.

Then the wasp opens the bags of cocaine with its stinger beats its wings as fast as a hummingbird and the cocaine is gone with the wind.

Then the wasp fills its saddlebags with all of the drug money sets fire to the warehouse and takes off.


Once outside the wasp swoops down low over a local village  and empties the saddlebags that contain almost one million dollars.

All of the people race outside and fill their pockets with the money sent from heaven.

They have never seen so much money now they will be able to feed and clothe their families for years.


In the following months the wasp flies all over Mexico destroying every drug operation that it comes across.

Burning the drugs and raining down millions of dollars on the poor folk below.


And of course all of this activity hasn’t gone unnoticed by the media.

Television stations all over the country are reporting the story of a strange flying creature that is destroying drug operations and making the poor rich with money from the heavens.

The modified wasp is fast becoming something of a hero to the masses.

And the press have even given the creature a name ‘El Saviour’


But not all people are happy with the activities of ‘El Saviour’

Up in his fortress El Groucho is seething as he watches his TV with his eyes ablaze.

Something will have to be done about this ‘El Saviour’ so he picks up an encrypted phone and makes some calls.


He is calling his fellow drug barons who control the drug trade in Mexico.

They are all losing money hand over fist and they will stop at nothing to stop this ‘El Saviour’

And they agree to meet El Groucho at his fortress in three days time.


One by one the drug lords arrive at an airport fifty miles from the fortress  and they all board a helicopter supplied by El Groucho.

And they takeoff towards their destiny.


The drug lords are relaxing with shots of tequila  talking about ways to rid themselves from the menace of ‘El Saviour’

When from the corner of his eye the pilot notices an incoming threat.

A huge wasp is racing towards the helicopter and the pilot screams at his passengers to strap themselves in.

But his warning comes way too late.


‘El Saviour comes in low and fast and before the passengers can move he runs his stinger along the side of the copter.

And opens it up like a can of beans.

A few of the passengers are sucked out and slam into the rotor blades while the rest pray to their maker as the helicopter goes into free fall and hits the ground.


In his fortress El Groucho sees the flames on the side side of the mountain and his knees start to buckle.

He looks at the huge fireball and knows that he is in big trouble ‘El Saviour’ is nearby looking for a fight.

Bring it on motherfucker.


The modified wasp know that El Groucho is nearby but it is not quite sure where.

He waves his stinger and tastes the air trying to pick up a scent.

And sure enough he picks up a smell the smell of fear.

He gets his bearings and flies toward a fortress a mile away.


El Groucho is waiting for an attack and he isn’t surprised when a huge wasp appears on the horizon.

But he is surprised by the sheer size of it.

The wasp is now the size of a airliner and coming in fast.


El Groucho waits for the wasp to get within firing range

He puts a surface to air missile launcher to his shoulder takes aim and fires.

But the missile is deflected by the wasp and it loses its course and heads back towards the fortress.


‘Holy shit’ El Groucho screams as the missile streaks toward him

He runs as fast as he can but is still inside when the missile hits the fortress.

But once again luck is on El Grouchos side and he crawls outside virtually unscathed.

The fortress is now nothing more than a pile of rubble and El Groucho crawls toward a land rover to make an escape.


But he doesn’t get very far when ‘El Saviour comes in hard and fast and impales El Groucho in the thigh.

And carries him off toward the pico de arizaba mountain.

An active volcano.


El Groucho is wriggling like a fish caught on a hook as the modified wasp hovers above the crater.

Then the wasp points his stinger earthward and El Groucho falls into the molten lava.


El Groucho screams all the way down he cant believe that he has been defeated by a creature that he helped create.

His screams stop as he hits the lave and becomes nothing but ash.


The modified wasp smiles with satisfaction with a job well done

And in a heartbeat he is gone.

Destination unknown






Shoeshine ( The Sin Away )


, , , , ,

It is a cold windy day in Chicago Illinois and a fourteen year old African American boy is about to start his first day at work.

The year is 1950 and Calvin Jackson is excited to be following in his grandfathers footsteps.


His grandfather Melvin has been shining shoes for over fifty years.

But now his health isn’t the best so he has decided to pass on his skills to his favourite grandson.


Calvin has been living with his grandparents for most of his life.

His mother abandoned him soon after he was born and his father didn’t want anything to do with him.

So Calvin was raised by his loving grandparents.


Calvin loves his grandparents dearly and they love him like a son.

They brought him up to treat people with respect and to do the right thing.

But Calvin hasn’t been completely honest with them.

He has a secret.


Since he can remember he has had the ability to touch and object belonging to someone and sensing that persons thoughts and feelings.

He can see into their very soul.


Calvin has never told anybody about this ability.

He doesn’t want people to know because they might think that he is some sort of freak or something.

Plus it isn’t easy being African American this Calvin learnt from an early age.

So he keeps his eyes down and minds his own business.


He knows that he has a special talent but all he wants right now is to make his grandfather proud.

So when his grandfather wakes him and tells him that it is time for breakfast.

Calvin jumps out of bed and eats his bacon and eggs excited about the day ahead.

Then he follows his grandfather out the door.


They catch a train to Melvin’s shoeshine stand just outside the subway.

The perfect spot to catch people on their way to work.

Calvin watches as his grandfather arranges his brushes and clothes ready for his first customer.

Melvin Jackson is the best shoeshine man in all of Chicago.


Calvin sits near his grandfather and watches his every move as he polishes and shines shoes to a high gloss.

Melvin is in his element as shines shoes and chats to his regular customers.

Then it is Calvin’s turn.


Melvin hands him the brush and takes a seat and settles down to read the newspaper with one eye and the other on his grandson.

When Calvin touches the brush he is glad to feel that his grandfather is happy and looking forward to his retirement.

Where he will spend his time building model trains and getting under the feet of his loving wife.


Calvin is nervous when his first customer takes his seat at the shoeshine stand.

But he is a natural as he shines shoes it is like he has been doing it for years.

When he touches the shoes he doesn’t feel anything untoward or threatening and the customer leaves a good tip and goes on his way.


His next customer takes a seat and precedes to tell Calvin his life story.

Calvin smiles and nods his head in all the right times to keep his customer happy.

Because the number one rule in the shoeshine business is to ensure that the customer leaves satisfied with the service.

Because then he will come back again and again.


Calvin’s first few weeks on the job pass without incident.

He shines the shoes of all comers whether it is a lawyer thinking about his day in court.

A businessman thinking about how to close a deal or just your average joe on his way to another work day.


Then a month later an ordinary man takes a seat and Calvin decides to try something different.

So he grasps a shoelace like he is holding a rosary bead and his fingers feel for good or bad vibrations.

And he looks deep inside the customer soul looking for anything sinister or worse.


Calvin smiles and says ‘good morning’ and gets to work.

But as soon as his fingers grasp one of the laces he is almost jolted back out of his seat.

His pulse quickens and he starts to sweat.

This guy is trouble.


Calvin acts like nothing is amiss and keeps on shining as he gazes deeper into the soul.

The customer is oblivious to the intrusion as Calvin goes about his business.

There is trouble at home.

Calvin delves even deeper and the customer starts to squirm in his seat ‘What are you doing boy?’

Calvin looks into the mans eyes and replies ‘Whatever the trouble you are having at home can all be worked out’

‘Get some marriage guidance or get a divorce but don’t take a life because you are unhappy’


None of Calvin’s words are spoken out loud they are spoken from soul to soul.

Calvin just hopes that his words have sunk in and that the man will go home and sort out his problems.


Calvin finishes his shining and the free advice and the man stands up and pulls out his wallet and hands Calvin a crisp one dollar bill.

‘Thanks boy I don’t know what you did but I feel like a weight has been lifted from my body’

With that he walks away.


Over the next few months Calvin deals with all sorts of normal and troubled souls.

And he does his best to shine shoes and  to give some friendly unspoken advice.

And he does it all with a smile on his face and goes home  satisfied but tired.

He didn’t realise that shining shoes would be so mentally draining.

But when you look deep into troubled souls it takes a lot out of you.

And he has trouble sleeping because his mind never shuts down.


All that Calvin wanted was to make his grandfather proud and be the best shoeshine boy in the neighbourhood.

But he now knows that he has become more than that.

He is now a soothsayer a soul healer for the common man.

But it is all starting to become too much.


Over the weekend doesn’t know if he can carry on or not so he visits his grandfather and tells him of his special ability and how it is starting to mess with his mind.

Melvin looks at him like he is the second coming of Christ and tells Calvin that he has been given a gift and that he should he should carry on helping people if he can.


So first thing Monday morning Calvin jumps out of bed packs his bag and goes to work.

Calvin loves to shine shoes and help people in need.

He is what he is.


Gary Wayne Debois is a serial killer.

But today he isn’t thinking about killing all he wants is to eat some breakfast and get his shoes shined.

Then he can get down to business the business of killing.


He remembers an old man and his shoeshine stand outside of the train station so he heads towards the subway.

And when he arrives he is greeted by a teenage negro boy waiting for his first customer of the day,

Debois tells the boy that the last time that he was here an old man shined his shoes and Calvin explains that that was his grandfather who is now retired.

Debois says ‘D o the family proud boy ‘ and takes a seat not knowing that the shoeshine boy is about to look into his soul and beyond.


When the man is comfortable Calvin starts rubbing with his cloth and takes hold of a lace.

He looks deep into the mans soul but doesn’t see a thing.

It is like looking into a bottomless pit.


Calvin closes his eyes and once again he tries to enter the belly of the beast.

But again he sees nothing but black like riding a train through a tunnel to hell.


Then Calvin is brought back to reality when he is kicked in the head ‘What the fuck are you doing boy? Just shine my shoes and make it fucking snappy’

Calvin shines as fast as he can so this man can get out of his life.

He knows that he is dealing with a very dangerous individual so he finishes quickly and with his head bowed waits for his tip.


Debois stands up throws a coin on the ground at Calvin’s feet and walks away muttering obscenities.


A few weeks later Calvin is shining the shoes of a customer when Debois comes back and he grabs hold of the customer and tells him to get out of his way.

He takes a seat and tells Calvin to ‘Hurry the fuck up I haven’t got all fucking day’

Calvin gets to work and once again tries to enter the mans soul but again he is denied.

Than Calvin has an idea if he can somehow take the mans laces home maybe he can look into the soul without being in the mans presence.


Hey mister both of your laces are just about worn out I can replace them both free of charge’

Calvin looks up into the mans face with hope ‘Well what are you fucking waiting for boy?’

Calvin quickly changes the laces and the man goes on his way.


Riding the subway home Calvin can feel the weight of the laces in his pocket.

He touches them and searches for the mans inner being.

He gets in but the connection is weak.

The man is driving down the highway and he has just picked up a female hitch hiker.

Unfortunately for Calvin his train is travelling in the opposite direction to the mans car and the connection is broken.


Calvin arrives home with his mind in turmoil he paces back and forth in his room wondering what to do.

Then he sits on his bed and unties his laces and attaches them to the mans laces

Maybe there will be some sort of connection?


And there is it is like watching a silent movie.

Calvin now knows who he is dealing with Gary Wayne Debois is a serial killer who the police have been trying to catch for over a decade.

He has been linked to over twenty murders.

But Calvin can see that the number is closer to fifty.


Calvin notices that the girl has her hands tied behind her with the same laces that Calvin tied to the mans shoes a few hours ago.

So hopefully his aura is still attached to them.

Maybe just maybe.


Calvin grips his laces tight concentrates and whispers into the girls ear and smiles when her eyes open in shock ‘My name is Calvin and I am here to try and help you.I am going to try to loosen the laces binding your hands nod your head if you understand”

The frightened girl slowly nods her head.


Calvin closes his eyes and grips his laces even tighter and the girl starts to wriggles in the car seat ‘Try not to move too much or the man will know that something is up when the laces are loose nod your head’

And once again the girl nods her head.


OK now tell the man that you have to go to the bathroom real bad’

Calvin can see the girl talking to the man but Debois gives her a backhander and tells her to ‘Shut the fuck up bitch we are almost at your final resting place but I am going to have a little fun first.

The girl is scared out of her wits and her urine flows down her legs and the smell hits Debois’s nose.

‘Why you filthy bitch” he pulls the car near an abandoned building and drags her from the car by her hair.

From his pocket he pulls out a knife exposes the girls throat and is about to cut her open from ear to ear.

The girl desperately rakes at the mans face with her nails and it gives Calvin a few vital seconds.


He knows that it is now or never he wasn’t able to enter the mans soul but maybe he can enter his heart.

Calvin closes his eyes and squeezes the laces and squeezes hard on the mans heart.

And as Debois and the girl struggle Calvin squeezes one last time and Debois grabs his chest and falls to the ground dead.


The girl whispers ‘Thank You ” to Calvin who falls asleep completely exhausted.


Two days later at the city morgue a body is lying on a gurney when a foot starts to twitch.

Then the man sits up and takes in his surroundings and he smiles.

Gary Wayne Debois is alive and well and he only has one thing on his mind.


Hell Dorado


, , , , ,

It is lunch time on 21 August 1974 and Daniel Carruthers is sitting at his desk beneath the National Museum London England

Daniel has been an archivist at the museum for over twenty years and he is bored out of his mind.

He has catalogued more books letters essays and journals than he cares to remember.

What Daniel needs is to get away from it all and recharge his batteries but his annual leave isn’t due until Christmas.

He sighs to himself as he sorts through a box of books on his desk.


Daniel is 35 years old and he has never had a steady girlfriend.

Like your typical librarian Danial wears thick glasses from years of reading in a dimly

lit room.

He wears clothes that were fashionable a decade prior and his skin is pasty from working down in the basement.


As Daniel works he comes across a dusty old journal written by the explorer Sir Walter


The pages are fragile and yellowed with age but Daniel feels a wave of excitement as he starts to read.

As he reads Daniels heart begins to beat double time.He gets up from his chair walks to his office door and locks it.

Returning to his desk he reads ‘Journal entry 2nd July 1582’

‘Tomorrow i set sail in the search for the legendary El Dorado,does El Dorado exist or is it just a story from the ages’

‘Legend has it that king El Rey Dorado of the musica tribe of Colombia used to cover himself in gold dust and throw pieces of gold into an underground lake named Guatavita to appease the god’s.’

‘I aim to find that gold and bring it back to the queens England’


Daniel continues to read the journal until the end of his shift and then he does something that he has never done before.

He places the journal into his briefcase and heads upstairs with sweaty palms.

Taking museum property home is strictly forbidden.


Daniel tries to calm his nerves when he reaches the lobby.

He puts a smile on his face as he approaches the security guards says goodnight  to them and walks out onto the street.

He cant wait to arrive home to read more of the journal.


When Daniel gets home he has a quick meal and a shower then settles down for the night

He pours himself a large whiskey lights a cigarette and starts to read and he soon becomes lost in the words.

He smokes cigarette after cigarette as his excitement grows and as he reads his mind becomes addled with the lust for gold.


Daniel Carruthers the mild mannered archivist is finally coming out of his shell.

And as he tries to settle down to sleep his mind is ticking over.

He has over six months of leave built up so maybe now the time is right to get out from the mundane.

And go on an adventure.


When Daniel arrives at work the next day he informs his boss that he is taking all of his leave effective from tomorrow.

His boss tells him that he has to give a months notice before taking any leave so get to work and follow proper procedure.

But Daniel is having none of that and without another word he picks up his briefcase and walks out the door.

The fever for gold has already taken away all of Daniels common sense.

Is he about to walk a very dangerous path.

Will he walk the yellow brick road?

Or walk the highway to hell?


Daniel spends the next week at home getting his passport and travel plans in order.

And reading Sir Walter Raleigh’s journal until it started to fall apart in his hands.

And ten days after he resigned from his job Daniel boards a flight to Bogata Colombia.

After the plane lands he catches a taxi to his motel room and gets a few hours sleep.


In the morning walks the streets going from market to market asking the locals about

El Dorado.

He asks the same questions that have been asked for centuries ‘Where can i find the gold of El Dorado? Or is El Dorado just a myth or legend?’


Daniel thinks that he has been discreet but all of his questioning hasn’t gone unnoticed.

A local businessman named Miguel Escovado has been following Daniel as he mixes with the locals.

Because he to has had a fascination with the legend of El Dorado.

He taps Daniel on the shoulder and suggests that they talk.


So the two adventurers go to a canteena for a coffee and a chat.

Daniel is wary of this strangers motives but he listens as the man talks about El Dorado and where they might find it.

Daniel soon realises that will have to trust someone sooner or later so he takes the journal from his briefcase and puts it on the table.

Miguel picks up the journal and for for the next hour he reads non stop.

And Daniel and Miguel agree to become business partners.


With his local knowledge Miguel soon organises the supplies and a working party of ten villagers.

And a week later the expedition leaves Bogata in four old land rovers.

Destination EL Dorado.


Daniel and Miguel are in the lead land rover plotting the course.

Miguel is at the wheel while Daniel reads the journal.

They have no maps just a good feeling that they are heading in the right direction.


Two weeks later Daniel has this sinking feeling that they have been driving around in circles.

Fuel is running low and the morale among the guides is even lower.

Daniel realises that he has been on a fools errand searching for a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.

He looks over to Miguel and suggests that they turn back before it is too late.


But Miguel doesn’t want to give up so easily.

The fever for gold is flowing freely through his veins.

And after a brief discussion they agree to give it another month.

If they haven’t found El Dorado in that time then they will  count their losses and head back home.


But fuel is really getting low so when they reach a fast flowing river they decide to make camp camp.

And in the morning they will travel by kayak to converse the fuel supplies.

The land rovers will be left behind guarded by four of the guides.


All of the camping gear and the kayaks are unloaded from the land rovers and camp is set up for the night.

As he sits by the camp fire eating rice and beans Daniel notices that the guides are looking uneasy and whispering amongst themselves.

Miguel tells Daniel that the guides are worried that they will upset their god if they remove any gold from the forest.

And the only way to appease them a sacrifice will have to be made.


When it finally sinks in what the guides are saying Miguel tries to alert Daniel to the danger but he is too late.

One of the guides fires his rifle and Miguel falls to the ground dead.

Daniel jumps to his feet in shock and slowly inches back in the direction of the turbulent river.

He knows that his only chance to survive is to make it into the water.


He is only ten feet from the water when the head guide walks towards him with a smirk on his face.

The guide is named Guido and he is one mean son of a bitch who would kill you without batting an eyelid.

He hols out the journal to Daniel and says ‘You show me the way to El Dorado and i will let you live’


Guido is only two foot away when Daniel lunges forward and turns back towards the river.

But Guido doesn’t let go of the journal and he and Daniel tussle on the edge then with a sound Daniel Guido and the journal disappear into the torrent below.


Will Daniel and Guido survive the fall and find El Dorado?

Or will they both drown and wind up in hell?


To find out the answers to these questions and more.

All you have to do is return and read Part Two

Salvatore Salvatore’


, , , , , ,

A bright red Ducati 848 pulls into a parking spot near a theatre on the corner of 31 st & broadway new york city.

Riding the machine is Salvatore Salvatore’ a ruthless hit man who will kill anyone if the price is right.

Salvatore revs the engine as he waits for his target to exit the theatre for intermission.He is a smoker so soon he will emerge for a nicotine fix.


As Salvatore waits he pulls a glock 3×4789 revolver from his jacket pocket and screws a silencer in place.

He doesn’t have to wait long because soon the theatre doors fly open and some of the patrons come rushing outside.

His target lights a cigarette and Salvatore recognises him right away,he guns his bike and inches forward in the traffic.

When he is level with the mark he raises his arm and fires a single shot into the forehead of his victim.

Then he gives his ducati full throttle and disappears into the night


At home a few hours later Salvatore is relaxing at home waiting for an email to arrive to confirm the hit and payment into his overseas account.

And an hour later he is $ 100,000 richer and proud of a job well done.


Salvatore is 42 years old 6′ 2” tall weighing 180 pounds with black wavy hair and an athletic build he likes to wear hand made italian suits with gucci shoes.

He could be a banker or an accountant on their way to work but he is anything but,he also has the ability to blend in with the background nobody notices him he is the ghost that walks.


Salvatore is riding his ducati around manhattan taking in the sites when his cellphone vibrates in his pocket.

Someone else needs killing.

He parks his bike near central park and has a seat on a bench and starts to read the email from his boss.

The client is a Mrs Anne Bartelli who is tired of her husbands womanising and she wants him gone.

She will pay $ 150,000 if her husband suffers a slow and agonising death.

Salvatore prefers to kill nice and quick but for that type of money he will do what the client requires.


A week later he arrives at the Bartelli household dressed as a plumber and knocks on the door.

A middle aged man answers ‘Yes how can i help you?’ Salvatore answers ‘ Mr Bartelli? I am hear to fix your leaking toilet’

Bartelli starts to answer when Salvatore pulls his glock from his toolbox and tells his target to step back inside and Salvatore follows him in.


Salvatore ties Bartelli naked to a chair with a sock stuffed into his mouth and gets to work.

And for the next hour Salvatore goes about his business with a minimum of fuss.Using every tool in his toolbox he inflicts more pain than any human can handle and thankfully Bartelli loses consciousness.

Salvatore decides that enough is enough and quickly finishes the job and slices Bartelli’s neck open from ear to ear.

Then he packs up his toolbox and leaves without being seen.


But he has been seen.

Upstairs looking through the railings is a five year girl too stunned to make a sound.

Little Emily was supposed to go to school today but she talked her daddy into taking her to the zoo instead.

Now she is so traumatised she cant move a muscle as she watches her daddies killer walk out the door.


For the next decade Salvatore has performed over a dozen more murders earning himself a lot of money.

And with a savvy business mind and investments Salvatore now has more money than he could ever dream of.

So he treats himself to a porsche and large yacht that he approporiately names ‘Salvatore”


While Salvatore has been making his millions Emily Bartelli has been in and out of institutions.

She is still so traumatised that she hasn’t uttered a word since witnessing her fathers murder ten years ago.


Today Emily is walking along the jetty towards the waters of hudson bay.As she walks she admires all of the boats moored at the marina.

And she remembers the times that her father used to take her fishing out in the bay.She smiles to herself for a second as she remembers the good times.

Than her she looks over to a boat called ‘Salvatore” and the man tending the sails.He looks vaguely familiar.

Than her heart starts to palpitate.Surely her eyes aren’t playing tricks on her.

It has to be the same man.The man who killed her father.



Emily emits a low growl from her throat and utters the first word that she has uttered in ten years ‘murderer’.

She silently climbs aboard the ‘Salvatore’ and launches herself at the killer


Salvatore senses movement behind and turns around,but a second too late.He is hit hard and his feet get tangled in the ropes and he and his attacker both land in the water.


Salvatore desperately tries to free himself from the ropes and his attacker but he is losing the battle.And after a few minutes he breathes his last breath.


Emily holds on to the killer and watches as his eyes glaze over.She smiles to herself she is happy now.So she lets go and slowly sinks to the bottom.

Now she and her father are together once again.


In the house where Emil’s father was killed a lonely widow sits weeping.

Because of her spite she has lost her daughter.

She has lost everything.







Mucus Man


, , , , , ,

WARNING This story is gross it contains references to different bodily fluids

So if you are offended by bodily fluids don’t read this story.

You have been warned.


Nobody knows where he came from.

He just appeared one day.

People call him mucus man.

A huge mass of green in a somewhat human form.

Sticky to the touch and offensive to the nose

Mucus man isn’t your normal super hero.

But he still stands for goodness and doing the right thing for humanity.


It is 1986 in Los Angeles and the crime rate is on the rise.

Crack cocaine is the drug of choice.

And someone is murdered every two hours.

The police are rushed off their feet by the sheer numbers of people

committing crimes to feed their habit.

They desperately need hand to help clean up the streets.


Superman is at home in metropilis.

While batman is solving crimes over in  gotham city.

So L.A could really do with their own super hero right now.

Before the criminals completely take over the city.

Mucus man has arrived at the perfect time.

He is green and mean and a sight to be seen.

And he is here for your protection.


Slimy and smelly,mucus man will not be to everyone’s taste.

But he is here to help clean up the streets and give them back to the citizens.

And he will use any bodily fluid to reach that objective.

So if you commit a crime you better wear a raincoat.

Because if you don’t you will get slimed and taken down.


Mucus man is at home relaxing when his ears perk up.

Somewhere close by people are in distress and desperately need help.

So he jumps to his feet,or at least tries to.

You see mucus man is sticky.

So he peels himself off the couch and races outside.


As soon as he gets outside his snot filled nostrils smell smoke.

Nearby a building is on fire.

So he rolls himself into a huge mucus ball.

And goes to the rescue.


When he arrives at the scene mucus man is saddened to see a five storey

apartment block ablaze.

And from every window on the top floors people are hanging out trying to

escape the flames and smoke.


The firemen at the scene are trying their best to contain the fire.

But with low water pressure their hoses cant reach the top floors.

So mucus man spreads himself out into a giant green slimy safety


The frantic trapped residents look down at the smelly snotty blanket.

And with little choice one by one they all jump.


They all land with a squish and a mouthful of green.

But at least they are all safe and sound.

So they wipe themselves down just happy to be alive.

They watch as mucus man transforms back into his human like form.

The survivors talk amongst themselves and they all ask the same question

‘Who was that man?’


Mucus man is on his way back home when his nostrils start to twitch.

There is trouble up ahead.

By the look of things a bank robbery is in progress.

Mucus man arrives just as the robbers exit the bank with guns drawn.


Shots are fired and mucus man is hit.

But he doesn’t go down.

His body is like a jello mould.

It wobbles on impact and absorbs the bullet.


The robbers scramble to their getaway car and try to flee.

Mucus man isn’t about to let that happen.

So he takes a deep breath holds a finger over  his left nostril and unleashes

a volley of snot.

It completely covers the getaway car and the robbers inside.

They are stuck fast with nowhere to go.

So they surrender without incident.


Mucus man is at home recuperating from his lose of fluids.

When once more he senses danger.

Someone is in trouble and needs his assisstance.


Mucus man sighs.

When you are a super hero you are always on call.

You are the ultimate public servant.

But mucus man doesn’t care.

He loves the attention and craves the action.


Mucus man finds himself in a dark dank alleyway.

He creeps forward trying to find the source of distress.

Then he notices a body behind a dumpster.


When he gets closer he notices a pool of blood.

The man on the ground has been stabbed and is bleeding out fast.

Mucus man places his hand over the wound and seals it with his antiseptic



The man recovers enough to tell mucus man that he is a crack addict.

He points to a nearby doorway and says that he bought some crack from

the dealers inside.

But instead of giving him crack they stabbed him and took his money.


Mucus man walks up to the door and listens.

His ears pick up ten different voices coming from inside.

He liquifies his body and flows beneath the door.


Once inside he quickly transforms back into his human form and says

‘Everybody stop what you are doing and stand up with your hands on top of

your heads’

The ten crack dealers are surprised by the voice and the leader asks’ Where did

you come from you green motherfucker?’

Then the room explodes into action.


The dealers confront mucus man with an assortment of guns and knives.

Mucus man is hit by over twenty rounds but once again his body absorbs

the impact.

He shots out his mucus covered tongue like a chameleon .

And the twenty foot long appendage strikes over and over capturing the weapons

from the dealers hands.

The recoils his tongue and swallows every weapon down whole.

Once again mucus man has saved the day.


On the other side of the city a deranged madman has taken over a train

heading towards LA central.

He has packed the loco with explosives.

And if his demands aren’t met he will not only destroy the station but half of L.A.


The authorities have been told to deposit 5 million dollars into an account on the

cayman islands by midnight.

If they don’t he will blow up the train along with its 500 passengers.


Mucus man is in his element.

His plan is to spray the train with mucus and run it off the tracks between


If he can spray enough snot over the explosives he will render them useless.


Mucus man is in position three stops from LA central.

And the train is hurtling close.

Mucus man knows that he will need both nostrils for this job.

So he aims at the track just in front of the train.

And fires.


But ll that comes out is a dribble.

Mucus man has run dry.

And he is the last line of defence.

Los Angeles is depending on him

What will he do?


Mucus man is pissed off.

He knows that there is no one else to save the city.

So he does what he has always done in times of stress.

He drops his pants and starts to stroke his long slimy doodle.

Faster and faster he strokes himself working up a big nut.


The train is now only five yards from LA central.

And closing in fast.

Mucus man is still busy working up a lather.

He knows that if he doesn’t pull this off.

Than Los Angeles will be blown to smithereens.


So he concentrates and his right hand becomes a blur.

It is now too late to aim for the track.

All he can do now is aim for the explosives.

And hope for the best.


Mucus man is really going for it.

He is getting mighty close to a huge eruption.

He closes his eyes calls out to jesus.

And lets loose 200 gallons of white hot jizz.


Mucus man’s knees are wobbly but his aim is true.

The train and the explosives are both engulfed by the stream of super hero


A tidal wave of cock snot has just saved Los Angeles.


Mucus man is given the keys to the city.

His chest swells with pride as he shakes the mayors hand.

The mayor quickly wipes his hand on his trousers.

Because he knows that mucus man has just done the dirty deed.


Once again mucus man has saved the day.

He is always in the right place at the right time.

You can always rely on the mucus man

Just wear a glove if you ever have to shake his hand.







, , , , ,

In southern Texas not far from the Mexican border a desperate scientist is looking

for a wasp.

And not just any wasp but a large female tarantula hawk.

A wasp known for its aggressiveness and large stinger.


The reason the scientist is desperate is because he is working for a dangerous drug smuggler from Mexico.

This smuggler is named El Groucho he is mean and nasty without any good bones in his body.

He has been sneaking drugs into America for over a decade but lately all of his attempts

from been thwarted by the US authorities.

So he has come up with a cunning plan instead of digging under the border he will fly over it.

So he has decided to use genetically modified wasps as drug mules.


That is where the scientist comes in.

His family was kidnapped by El Groucho a few weeks ago and if the scientist doesn’t genetically modify a wasp into a drug smuggler his family will be killed.

The scientist’s name is Dr Michael Chapman and he is the most respected genetic scientist in the USA.


El Groucho’s crazy idea is to have an aggressive female tarantula hawk wasp mated with a male mexican wasp known for its endurance and its temper.

But most of all for its extra large stinger.

So El Groucho is hoping to have the two nasty wasps offspring genenetically modified into drug smugglers with large stingers to fight off eagles and others large prey and to deliver the drugs to the american public at large.


Up in Laredo the scientist has finally located a female tarantula hawk and is on his way back to El Groucho’s compound in Nuevo Juarez Mexico.

The scientist thinks that El Groucho should be called El Loco instead because his plan is crazy and diabolical.

But he will do anything to save his wife and two children so he puts his foot down and drives towards Mexico.


He arrives at the compound four hours later and El Groucho rush’es him inside and orders him to get to work immediately.

The scientist refuses and tells El Groucho that he want start until he knows that hi family is safe.

So El Groucho orders one of his henchman to bring the family to him immediately.

And a few minutes later the scientist is reunited with his family where they hug and kiss for a while until his family is taken away and he is taken downstairs where a rudimentary laboratory has been set up.


The scientist has a look around and cant believe that El Groucho expects him to work under these conditions.

But he knows that he hasn;t got any choice so he puts the box containing the female wasp on a table and gets to work.

He looks over to a small glass enclosure about three foot square where a small male wasp is buzzing around.

He captures  the wasp and extracts a few drops of sperm from its body.

He places the male back into the enclosure and gets to work.


The scientist examines and modifies the sperm day and night for two days until he is satisfied.

He has one last look under the microscope and than tell s the henchman to summin El Groucho.

El Groucho enters the lab and congratulates the scientist and watches while the sperm is injected into the female.

The female is placed into the enclosure with the male wasp where they quickly size each other up.


The scientist is going crazy while he waits for the female to lay her eggs.

But two days later she goes to the corner of the enclosure and deposits three little eggs on the glass.

The male comes flies over to inspect the situation but is quickly stung multiple times by the female and quickly devoured.


The scientist and El Groucho are both disappoited by the size of the eggs.

All three of the eggs appear normal and the scientist knows that his family are now in very deep trouble.

Than the female falls to the bottom of the enclosure  where she starts to expand.

She continues to grow and grow until she explodes in a cloud of blood and guts.


What emerges is a large wasp about the size of a sparrow who bash’es against the glass trying to escape.

It continues to grow and is now the size of  a dove with a mean temper and a stinger the size of a mans finger.

El Groucho orders the scientist to put his arm into the enclosure and pull the wasp out.

The scientist isn’t to keen with this idea but he has little choice when the henchman comes up behind him brandishing a large machete.


The scientist Puts his arm inside the enclosure and is quickly stung by the large stinger.

He grimaces in pain but he places the wasp on the table where it looks at the humans in curiosity.

El Groucho feels like frankenstein  with his monster but he looks down at that wasp and starts to talk. “You are my creation and i am your master you will obey my every command and smuggle drugs to america  until i tell you to stop ,do you understand?’

The wasp who has now grown to the size of a falcon nods its head in understanding.


The scientist is in a bad way and is struggling to breathe.

He can do nothing but stare in horror as is family is brought to him and are slaughtered in cold blood by the henchman’s machete.

The scientist takes his final breath and he along with his family are dragged outside and dumped in the backyard.


For three months the wasp flies back and forth from Texas and Mexico delivering its evil wares.

Every time it returns it feeds on the scientist and his family has his saddlebags replenished and takes off for america once again.


On its way back to america the modified wasp is caught in a storm where it is battered by the wind and rain.

One of the saddlebags burst open and over a kilo of cocaine enters its system.

The wasp savours the taste of the drug and it immediately wants more.

It puts its stinger into the saddlebag and has another taste.


The wasp alters course and heads back to Mexico and his master.

It continues to have taste after taste of the drug until its brain becomes damaged by the drug.

The wasp who is now the size of an albatross with a stinger the size of a baseball bat is now on a rampage.


El Groucho and the henchman are in the compound counting all the dirty money when the wall comes crashing in.

They both look but cant believe what they are seeing.

The wasp has grown into enormous proportions it is now the size of a large dog and it is still growing.

Its stinger is now as long and thick as a mans leg.


The henchman swings his machete but with little impact.

The wasps exoskeleton is now armour plated with a two inch thick skin of steel.

It hovers over El Groucho and the henchman

Then it strikes.


The henchman is impaled on the giant stinger and is injected with venom and his insides quickly turn to mush.

The wasp sucks up his liquid lunch and with a burp of satisfaction he releases the dried up husk.

Than the wasp turns its attention to El Groucho.


But El Groucho is nowhere to be seen.

While the wasp was having its meal he made his escape.

The wasp is pissed off that it cant have a proper revenge.

So it digs once more into the saddlebags and has another taste.

Next stop Texas.


Part two is coming soon so stay tuned.