Tag Archives: adventure

Bookworm

18 Saturday May 2019

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Ollie Wrigley is a thirteen year old bookworm and he is quite content with his lot despite a bad case of acne and hair sprouting here there and everywhere as puberty hits his microscopic body.

He spends his days munching on books and magazines of any genre and description but his favorite genres are thrillers where he can chew away and escape to a life full of danger and intrigue plus crime fiction where he can solve the case before reaching the final page.

The year is 1996 and Ollie’s parents are doing their best to keep their son well fed and happy.

To celebrate his 13th birthday they give him an old set of Funk & Wagnell’s encyclopedia to set munch on for many years to come.

As Ollie devours the volumes he gets he necessary roughage and fiber a growing bookworm needs plus getting an education at the same time.

When his parents aren’t watching Ollie sneaks off to his room where he has stashed a selection of horror novels plus a few well used porno magazines.

He reads a few chapters of ‘Cujo’ by the master Stephen King before settling down with an old copy oh Hustler that he has read many times before to great effect.

Ollie is really going for it when unfortunately for him he has failed to notice that he has wandered too close to the spine of the mag and his nostrils unknowingly take in a shit load of binding glue

He was spaced out for over a week so no more porno mag’s or sniffing glue for him.

At least not for a while anyway.

Just before his 16th birthday Ollie and his folks moved upstairs to the attic to get away from the hustle and bustle of a busy household but before they get a chance to settle in a big arse truck pulls up outside and the family and their possessions are transported to god knows where.

Ollie is scared out of his mind not knowing where they are being taken because he has read stories about concentration camps and gas chambers from WW 2.

His Father tells him to stop letting his imagination get the better of him but Ollie is still worried.

But he was worried about nothing because the truck parks out front of a huge place called ‘Old Kuntz’ retirement village and Ollie has a good feeling about his new home and he calms down.

His parents are relieved as well and soon they are deposited in their new digs on a book shelf in the communal library.

The perfect place for a family of bookworms to live.

A week after the move Ollie ventures out to explore his new surroundings and soon he is devouring a dusty old edition of Dickens ‘Great Expectations’.

It is heavy going but Ollie enjoys reading about a time long gone and the history of the period.

But he is soon brought back to reality when ‘Great Expectations is thrown onto a trolley leaving the little book worm hanging on for dear life.

His stomach lurches and his sphincter tightens as the trolley sharply rounds a bend.

Than his world stabilizes when the trolley stops at the bed of a little old lady and the Dickens classic is placed into her hands.

Ollie has read enough Dickens to last him a life time so he quickly grows bored as the lady turns over familiar pages so he slides down the binding ( holding his nose in case any of that pesky but soothing glue is nearby) and lands on the arm of the lady with a taste for the classics.

Ollie doesn’t quite know where he is going as the wriggles his way past hair folicles and bumpy age spots.

Than the elderly resident raises her arm to scratch her ear and Ollie grabs the chance to explore unknown territories.

He has a look around for an available food source but nothing is at hand so he wriggles forward and enters an ancient ear hole.

Ollie looks around in awe at the size of the huge cavern but there are no books laying around to snack on and he needs to feed soon or face starvation.

He notices a sticky brown substance growing on the walls of the cavern in abundance.

Ollie pokes his tongue out and has a taste ‘Not bad’ he mutters to himself and begins eating his first luncheon of icky sticky ear wax.

Five minutes Ollie is bursting at the seams and he couldn’t move an inch even if he wanted to.

So he closes his eyes and has a nanna nap.

He wakes an hour later feeling refreshed but strangely still hungry.

The ear wax has left him feeling empty and hollow like you do an hour after eating a shit load of Chinese food.

Ollie knows exactly what he needs and that is a book of substance that will satisfy his hunger and keep him alive another day.

But first he needs to escape from the cave of wax.

He ventures to the edge and looks around for some means of transportation.

Then by chance a single strand of grey hair drifts close and Ollie clings on and abseils down and lands safely where he quickly feeds on a musty old readers digest magazine.

The magazine has hit the spot and Ollie lives to fight another day.

It isn’t easy being a microscopic bookworm with a metabolism faster than a hummingbird on speed.

As he digests his meal Ollie gazes around the common room where a hundred old people sit around watching TV or playing bingo as they all wait for their final curtain to fall.

As Ollie watches the grey brigade fill in the day he remembers the soft gooey ear wax from yesterday and he wants some more and he wants it now.

He knows that he wouldn’t be able to climb all the way up to an ear hole and the treasure trove inside.

And as luck would have it a mosquito lands nearby and Ollie whispers in her ear’Take me to the nearest ear hole and i will be eternally grateful’

The mozzie takes off with Ollie on board and a minute later the winged beauty lands safely close to the entrance to the honey pot.

The insect dips her wing and Ollie slides down to enjoy his afternoon delight.

But when his body touches skin a movement catches his eye and SLAM a wrinkly hand squashes the mozzie in a cloud of blood and guts.

Luckily Ollie has managed to roll clear in the nick of time and he enters the cave of pleasure to have another taste of waxy heaven

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM

Ollie had fallen asleep after his feast and is jolted awake by the loud noise.

But he soon realizes that he is hearing the voice of a man talking to someone about the good old days.

The voices echoes around the ear canal and Ollie is soothed by the sound.

He relaxes completely as he listens to the man narrate his life story to anyone who will listen.

Ollie is transfixed by the old timers story from his early years to a happy marriage to the love of his life .

A career as a train driver before ultimately getting old and ending up in a retirement home.

Father time catches up to everybody in the end.

When he man stopped talking it suddenly occurred to Ollie that he had just listened to his first audio story.

A fantastic kindle surprise.

Ollie squirms outside and has a little rest as he contemplates his next move.

When he looks to his right he notices twin openings in the middle of the mans face so he wriggles over for a closer look.

The enters the opening through a forest of thick nose hair and finds himself in a small space with blobs of green stuff everywhere.

The snot is very inviting so Ollie has a little taste ‘Not bad not bad at all’

PS

Please don’t put a wayward finger into your ear to satisfy an itch because a bookworm might be on there having a snack.

And please please don’t pick your nose.

THE END

Thanks for taking the time to read one of my stories and could you please consider making a donation to go towards my goal of becoming a fulltime writer. Thanks again Steven.

Hell Dorado ( Part Two )

02 Saturday Dec 2017

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In part one of this story I introduced you to Daniel Carruthers a mild mannered archivist who has worked at the national library in London for over twenty years.

But Daniel was bored out of his mind there must be more to life than working as a civil servant.

He needed something to spice up his life.

And as luck would have it one day as he was sorting through a box of old books and letters.

He came across a journal that belonged to the famous explorer Sir Walter Raleigh.

As Daniel read the journal the came across that chapter that mentions el dorado and a map of it’s possible location.

Already the lust for gold has infected Daniel’s brain.

He quit his job and flew to Colombia where he met a local named Miquel who became his business partner.

Together they led an expedition of a dozen guides on the quest for el dorado where they travelled through the jungle looking for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

After two weeks of searching and finding nothing the group camp on the edge of a raging river to contemplate their next move.

The guides threaten to turn back if they aren’t paid immediately and soon an argument brakes out and Miquel is shot and killed.

Daniel and one of the Guido wrestle over the journal and fall into the swirling water below.

Taking the journal with them.

Part Two.

When Daniel and Guido hit the water they are immediately swept downstream where they tumble around like ragdolls scraping their bodies on some sharp rocks.

They both shoot to the surface bloodied and bruised but still alive Daniel is clutching the journal to his chest.

And miraculously it is still bone dry.

The remaining guides follow the two downstream in a couple of rusty old land rovers than one of them points ahead to a massive waterfall.

If they can get to the bottom of the falls before the two doomed men then they can get their hands on the journal and become rich beyond their wildest dreams.

Daniel and Guido are both struggling to stay alive when they both go over the edge to an almost certain death.

Beneath the falls the guides watch as Daniel and Guido go over the edge it is fifty metres down to a lagoon below.

There is no way that anyone could survive that fall.

As he goes to his death Daniel knows that he was a fool to travel halfway across the world seeking his fortune in gold.

El dorado has become hell dorado.

He closes his eyes says goodbye to his family and friends and waits for the inevitable.

All the way down he clutches the journal that has brought him nothing but pain and sorrow.

He wants to throw the journal into the water but for some reason he just can’t let go.

Than a hand grabs hold of Daniel’s left ankle and he and Guido are pulled into the waterfall.

On the shoreline the guides watch in disbelief as the two men disappear from view.

One second they were falling to their death than they just vanish into thin air.

They wait for an hour and still no bodies appear so they decide to hang around until they can get their hands on the journal.

When Daniel comes to his senses he realises that it wasn’t a hand  that saved him and Guido from a certain death it was a tentacle.

And that tentacle is attached to a giant octopus.

The octopus is at least thirty feet in length with tentacles the same length again and it holds Daniel and Guido in a death grip.

Guido is slowly losing his mind as the octopus squeezes even harder ‘Listen here you motherfucker if you don’t put me down right now I will turn you into a big pile of calamari and shit you out tomorrow’

The octopus swings Guido down and holds him under you water to knock the fight out of him.

Than the octopus brings the tentacle holding a stunned Guido to its beak and Guido is eaten alive.

Daniel is shaking with fright as he hears Guido’s bones snap as he becomes a part of the food chain.

The octopus swings Daniel towards it’s mouth and Daniel knows that there is no escape this time,he is about to become dessert and there is nothing he can do about it.

But than the octopus brings Daniel up to eye level where they stare at each other.

Daniel looks deep into the big black orb and prays for a quick death an end to this foolish adventure.

But the octopus has other ideas because he lowers Daniel to the ground and disappears beneath the murky depths.

Daniel can’t believe his luck as he watches the beast dive to digest his meal

He turns away and for the for time he has a chance to take in his surroundings and he can’t quite believe what he is seeing.

The sky is crimson and the trees are a vivid orange and overhead shines a huge blue moon

He looks at the journal to get his bearings and slowly makes his way toward a distant snow capped mountain’

Hopefully he will find the famous lake guatavita and discover the gold f el dorado.

As Daniel walks he studies the journal and he even starts to whistle he has a good feeling about this place.

Than from behind him he hears the sound of approaching hooves.And when he looks back he is astonished to see a white unicorn trotting toward him.

When the unicorn gets level with Daniel it stops and squats to the ground.’Are you going to stand there gawking or are you going to jump aboard so we can be on our way?’

Daniel mounts the talking unicorn and commands’Take me to el dorado’

The unicorn winks at Daniel and trots off toward the distant mountain.

Daniel hangs on to the unicorn’s mane as it gallops along a rocky path and than without even a ‘hang on’ the unicorn unfolds its wings and takes to the sky.

Daniel says a few words that his mother wouldn’t like and hangs on for grim death as the unicorn weaves  between the clouds on the way to el dorado.

After a few hours the pair reach the mountain and the unicorn flies lower and lower trying to find a good place to land.

Than a lake comes into view and the unicorn glides down and performs a perfect landing on the shoreline.

Daniel dismounts glad to be back on terra firma again.

Meanwhile the unicorn has wandered off to eat some orange leaves and pink grass.

Than it lifts its tail and deposits a pile of golden manure on the ground.

‘Holy crap’Daniel can’t believe his eyes as he stares down at the golden mound.

There is gold everywhere.

Daniel sits on he edge of the lake dangling his feet in the cold water when a figure appears in the middle of the lake guatavita.

Daniel stares in wonder at the man and righty assumes that this is non other than the legendary King El Rey Dorado.

The king stands seven feet tall and his body is covered in gold dust while his head is adorned with peacock feathers.

King El Rey Dorado raises both arms in the air and prays to the heavens than he reaches into a pouch on his waist and throws nuggets of gold into the lake to appease the gods.

And to bring good fortune to his people.

The king calls out to the unicorn who trots over to his master and after getting reacquainted

The king climbs onto the unicorn and the pair soon disappear around a bend.

Not once had the king even acknowledged Daniel’s presence.

When he is alone Daniel runs around like a madman scooping up as many nuggets as he can.

He fills all of his pockets and a backpack with the ill gotten gains and struggles to stay upright.

Now that he has proof of el dorado’s existence he will be able to convince the guides to come back and help him plunder the land until there is nothing left but dirt and dust.

Than it finally dawns on Daniel that he is lost and alone in a strange land but he is now very very rich what can be better than that?

He looks around at the magnificent lake and mountain than he sets course back toward the waterfall.

But he struggles under the weight of the gold.

He is having a rest on the side of the road when a dodo bird walks up to him ‘Need a ride?

Nothing about this land surprises Daniel anymore so he climbs onto the back of the dodo and tells it to head to the waterfall ‘Fly as fast as you can’

The dodo look back at Daniel with disdain ‘I am a dodo bird I do not fly but I can walk at a brisk pace’

Daniel nods his head and the dodo walks off toward the waterfall.

But it soon starts to tire.

‘You are too heavy please lose the excess weight  or I will have to leave you here’

Daniel isn’t about to leave any gold behind so he dismounts the dodo who quickly waddles away.

Daniel is now stranded many miles and hours of travel time from the waterfall and there is no way he can walk that far carrying all the gold.

He doesn’t want to jettison any gold but now he mightn’t have any choice.

Than he remembers the journal in his backpack he pulls it out hoping against hope that the journal will somehow come to the rescue.

He lays the journal on the ground and opens it to a page where a crude map has been drawn by Sir Walter Raleigh.

As Daniel looks at the map it stirs and comes to life he watches as the river starts to run the mist shrouds the mountain and in the corner of the map way in the distance comes the sound of the waterfall.

Than the journal opens up and spreads out in the shape of a magic carpet than it hovers up to level with Daniels knees.

‘Well fuck me sideways Daniel whispers in awe ‘A freaking magic carpet’ He crawls into the middle of the journal.

And without a sound it glides toward the distant waterfall and home.

As the magic carpet makes toward freedom Daniel laughs with glee and waves his arms around in the breeze.

He is feeling a lot like Ali Baba but without the turban and the forty thieves.

And that gets Daniel thinking and he decides that he want return to plunder this beautiful land he will leave el dorado in peace.

As Daniel was daydreaming he has failed to notice that the magic carpet is closing in fast on the waterfall. Too fast in fact.

Daniel screams a warning to the journal but it takes no notice as it races full steam ahead.

But at least the octopus is nowhere in sight.

But Daniel has spoken to soon because just than the octopus rears its ugly head.

Daniel know if the octopus will be in a forgiving mood this time so he screams at the journal to give it all it has and the journal wraps itself around Daniel and takes off faster than a speeding bullet.

The journal with Daniel wraps all snug inside enters the beak of the octopus through the stomach past the bowel and intestines.

Then it explodes out of the bung hole like a runaway torpedo.

The journal crashes through the waterfall and lands with a splash in the lagoon on the other side.

Then the journal unfolds again and it floats to where the guides have been patiently waiting.

‘Well well well what do we have here one of the guides says as he pulls Daniel to his feet.

Then he notices the bulge in Daniel pockets ‘What’s in your pockets asshole?’

Daniel hangs his head he knows he cant beat all of the guides so he empties his pockets and one hundred gold nuggets tumble to the ground.

Except there isn’t any nuggets at Daniel’s feet all there are is one hundred pieces of coal.

Daniel laughs out loud’Oh well easy come easy go’

‘Sorry fellas but there is no el dorado the journal was a fake there is no gold it was a fools errand’

The guides are dumbstruck and offer no reply.

Daniel walks toward the land rovers but looks back just in time to see the journal floating back underneath the waterfall.

El dorado is safe.

For now.

THE END

Thanks for taking the time to read one of my stories now if you have the means could you please make a donation so that i can reach my goal of becoming a fulltime writer. Thanks again Steven.

Hell Dorado

05 Saturday Aug 2017

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It is lunch time on 21 August 1974 and Daniel Carruthers is sitting at his desk beneath the National Museum London England

Daniel has been an archivist at the museum for over twenty years and he is bored out of his mind.

He has catalogued more books letters essays and journals than he cares to remember.

What Daniel needs is to get away from it all and recharge his batteries but his annual leave isn’t due until Christmas.

He sighs to himself as he sorts through a box of books on his desk.

 

Daniel is 35 years old and he has never had a steady girlfriend.

Like your typical librarian Danial wears thick glasses from years of reading in a dimly

lit room.

He wears clothes that were fashionable a decade prior and his skin is pasty from working down in the basement.

 

As Daniel works he comes across a dusty old journal written by the explorer Sir Walter

Raleigh.

The pages are fragile and yellowed with age but Daniel feels a wave of excitement as he starts to read.

As he reads Daniels heart begins to beat double time.He gets up from his chair walks to his office door and locks it.

Returning to his desk he reads ‘Journal entry 2nd July 1582’

‘Tomorrow i set sail in the search for the legendary El Dorado,does El Dorado exist or is it just a story from the ages’

‘Legend has it that king El Rey Dorado of the musica tribe of Colombia used to cover himself in gold dust and throw pieces of gold into an underground lake named Guatavita to appease the god’s.’

‘I aim to find that gold and bring it back to the queens England’

 

Daniel continues to read the journal until the end of his shift and then he does something that he has never done before.

He places the journal into his briefcase and heads upstairs with sweaty palms.

Taking museum property home is strictly forbidden.

 

Daniel tries to calm his nerves when he reaches the lobby.

He puts a smile on his face as he approaches the security guards says goodnight  to them and walks out onto the street.

He cant wait to arrive home to read more of the journal.

 

When Daniel gets home he has a quick meal and a shower then settles down for the night

He pours himself a large whiskey lights a cigarette and starts to read and he soon becomes lost in the words.

He smokes cigarette after cigarette as his excitement grows and as he reads his mind becomes addled with the lust for gold.

 

Daniel Carruthers the mild mannered archivist is finally coming out of his shell.

And as he tries to settle down to sleep his mind is ticking over.

He has over six months of leave built up so maybe now the time is right to get out from the mundane.

And go on an adventure.

 

When Daniel arrives at work the next day he informs his boss that he is taking all of his leave effective from tomorrow.

His boss tells him that he has to give a months notice before taking any leave so get to work and follow proper procedure.

But Daniel is having none of that and without another word he picks up his briefcase and walks out the door.

The fever for gold has already taken away all of Daniels common sense.

Is he about to walk a very dangerous path.

Will he walk the yellow brick road?

Or walk the highway to hell?

 

Daniel spends the next week at home getting his passport and travel plans in order.

And reading Sir Walter Raleigh’s journal until it started to fall apart in his hands.

And ten days after he resigned from his job Daniel boards a flight to Bogata Colombia.

After the plane lands he catches a taxi to his motel room and gets a few hours sleep.

 

In the morning walks the streets going from market to market asking the locals about

El Dorado.

He asks the same questions that have been asked for centuries ‘Where can i find the gold of El Dorado? Or is El Dorado just a myth or legend?’

 

Daniel thinks that he has been discreet but all of his questioning hasn’t gone unnoticed.

A local businessman named Miguel Escovado has been following Daniel as he mixes with the locals.

Because he to has had a fascination with the legend of El Dorado.

He taps Daniel on the shoulder and suggests that they talk.

 

So the two adventurers go to a canteena for a coffee and a chat.

Daniel is wary of this strangers motives but he listens as the man talks about El Dorado and where they might find it.

Daniel soon realises that will have to trust someone sooner or later so he takes the journal from his briefcase and puts it on the table.

Miguel picks up the journal and for for the next hour he reads non stop.

And Daniel and Miguel agree to become business partners.

 

With his local knowledge Miguel soon organises the supplies and a working party of ten villagers.

And a week later the expedition leaves Bogata in four old land rovers.

Destination EL Dorado.

 

Daniel and Miguel are in the lead land rover plotting the course.

Miguel is at the wheel while Daniel reads the journal.

They have no maps just a good feeling that they are heading in the right direction.

 

Two weeks later Daniel has this sinking feeling that they have been driving around in circles.

Fuel is running low and the morale among the guides is even lower.

Daniel realises that he has been on a fools errand searching for a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.

He looks over to Miguel and suggests that they turn back before it is too late.

 

But Miguel doesn’t want to give up so easily.

The fever for gold is flowing freely through his veins.

And after a brief discussion they agree to give it another month.

If they haven’t found El Dorado in that time then they will  count their losses and head back home.

 

But fuel is really getting low so when they reach a fast flowing river they decide to make camp camp.

And in the morning they will travel by kayak to converse the fuel supplies.

The land rovers will be left behind guarded by four of the guides.

 

All of the camping gear and the kayaks are unloaded from the land rovers and camp is set up for the night.

As he sits by the camp fire eating rice and beans Daniel notices that the guides are looking uneasy and whispering amongst themselves.

Miguel tells Daniel that the guides are worried that they will upset their god if they remove any gold from the forest.

And the only way to appease them a sacrifice will have to be made.

 

When it finally sinks in what the guides are saying Miguel tries to alert Daniel to the danger but he is too late.

One of the guides fires his rifle and Miguel falls to the ground dead.

Daniel jumps to his feet in shock and slowly inches back in the direction of the turbulent river.

He knows that his only chance to survive is to make it into the water.

 

He is only ten feet from the water when the head guide walks towards him with a smirk on his face.

The guide is named Guido and he is one mean son of a bitch who would kill you without batting an eyelid.

He hols out the journal to Daniel and says ‘You show me the way to El Dorado and i will let you live’

 

Guido is only two foot away when Daniel lunges forward and turns back towards the river.

But Guido doesn’t let go of the journal and he and Daniel tussle on the edge then with a sound Daniel Guido and the journal disappear into the torrent below.

 

Will Daniel and Guido survive the fall and find El Dorado?

Or will they both drown and wind up in hell?

 

To find out the answers to these questions and more.

All you have to do is return and read Part Two

Thanks for taking the time to read one of my stories, now if you have the means could you please make a donation so i can realize my dream of becoming a fulltime writer. Thanks again Steven.

The Word Of A Bird ( Part Two )

19 Friday Aug 2016

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In Part One of this story I told how i was recently made redundant

So i decided to head west and start afresh

So i jumped into my car with plans to drive from Newcastle over

to Perth WA

My first stop was at the city of Broken Hill

Where i had a rest and had something to eat

I eating a burger in the local park.

When six birds landed on my table and started to chirp and talk.

A kookaburra magpie parrot galah falcon and an eagle

I fed them some of my burger.

than i said my goodbyes and returned to my car and drove away.

Halfway to my next stop of Ceduna i was just about to overtake a massive

road train.

When my windscreen was bombarded with a volley of bird shit.

I couldnt see where i was going so i pulled to the side of the highway.

And just as i came to a stop the road train jack knifed and landed on its side.

After checking the driver to make sure that he was okay

I looked at the overhead wires and see my six feathered friends

And i realise that they had just saved my life.

So before i drive off again i open the rear door of my car

And my six feathered friends fly right in.

A few hours later nearing Port Lincoln i needed to make a pit stop

So i drove down a dirt track to do a leak.

And the birds flew off to do their business.

Than i am attacked by a huge brown snake that injects me with

a shit load of venom.

I am in and out of conciousness for a few days.

The kookaburra got a belt from the car so i could apply a tourniquet

While the other birds fed me seeds and roadkill.

And the magpie gave me water.

In the morning of the forth day i am finally coming good

So i prop myself up against a tree trunk to recuperate

When i hear a grunt and a squeal and a large male bush pig emerges

from a bush.

It must weigh a 120 kilos with tusks 20 cm long

We make eye contact

Than it charges.

Part Two

‘Holy shit’ I cant believe that this is happening.

I am on the road trip from hell.

The rogue boar is foaming at the mouth getting ready to rip my guts out

But at the last second i manage to twist and its tusks just nick my thigh.

As it turns around for another charge the falcon and the eagle swoop down

The eagle lands on the feral pigs face and bites chunks from its nose.

While the falcon goes to the rear end and tears a deep gouge down the

pigs scrotum.

Leaving the left testicle exposed.

The boar is bucking like a demented bull.

But those two birds dont let up and they rip and tear at that wild boar.

Than those two birds finally relent and that wild lump of ham runs

off squealing for his mummy.

Once again i have been saved by my feathered friends.

The next big town is Kalgoorlie

But that is over 800 kilometres away so i will have to make camp for the

night.

So i drive off with my six feathered friends riding shotgun in the back seat

They all start talking and squawking all at once.

So i turn on the radio and catch the latest Justin Beiber song.

The birds start jumping and bopping to Beiber.

I smile to myself as we all sing along.

After five hours i really need to take a break

So i pull the car into a camp site and start to unload the car.

The birds fly off in search of food while i set up camp

I make myself some bacon and eggs

Than the six feathered angels fly down and we settle in for the night.

Finally some rest and relaxation

Than the birds start to talk loud amongst themselves.

So i know something bad is about to happen.

If only i could understand the words of a bird.

Than i hear a loud rumble in the distance it sounds like rolling thunder

But i soon recognise the noise as approaching motorbikes

It sounds like a hundred Harley Davidson’s

A gang of Hell’s Angels ride into the campground

The birds are going bananas talking like crazy.

The bikers park right next to my camp site.

That would be right they have the whole camp site to choose from.

But they have to camp right next to me.

Than they light a huge bonfire turn on some heavy metal and start to party

After a few minutes one of the bikers comes over and asks me if i have any

spare beer.

I tell that i haven’t got any beer only a couple of cokes.

He laughs and says ‘Whats the go with the birds are you some kind of weirdo?’

I try to ignore him but than he says ‘You know i am struggling to pay my way to

Perth’

‘Why dont you give me all of your money? Lets just call it a donation’

I still try to ignore the persistant prick

But he is determined to part me from my money.

He is getting really pissed off that i am ignoring him.

So he calls over a few of his biker friends and i am dragged away and tied to

a tree.

The bikers go through my pockets looking for my money stash

But all they can find is about sixteen dollars and small change

Thank god i have hidden my credit card in my sock

The arseholes still dont give up

They want to know where the rest of my money is.

I tell them that i live locally so i dont need to carry much cash

The lead biker looks at me and says ‘Thats okay in the morning we will

all go to your place and collect what is due’

That’s all i fucking need.

Than things turn nasty when he unzips his fly and proceeds to piss

all over me.

The other bikers think this is hilarious and they to piss over me like

i am a public urinal

From that point on they just ignore me

And go back to their drinking and dope smoking.

Than i feel a little tug on my bindings.

I have a quick look behind me and see the magpie using its beak to

untie me.

Now it is waiting game

And around 2 am the bikers turn off the music and crawl into

their swags.

Just to be on the safe side i wait another half hour

Than i look over to the six birds.

They fly over to the Harley’s and push their beaks into the tyre valves

And slowly but surely every single one of those tyres goes down

Than i go to my car and grab a pack of cable ties.

And i go from swag to swag locking those fucking bikers in.

I give a little whistle and the birds fly into the back seat of my car ready to

make an escape.

I start up the car than i have second thoughts

The temptation is too hard to resist so i walk over to the first Harley and

give it a little shove.

And like dominoes those bikes goes tumbling over with a crash.

The Bikers are still drunk and stoned so they cant escape from the swags

But i dont wait around to watch i jump in my car and take off like a bat out

of hell.

After about three hours of driving i start to relax thinking that those bikers

are stuck back at the camp site.

Than the rear window explodes and i see two bikers approaching fast

Now things are becoming serious.

If those bikers catch me i will be a dead man.

So i will have to come up with a plan.

The six feathered commando’s in the back seat start talking and squawking

Than they fly out of the rear window.

On a collision course with the two bikers.

The bikers serve to avoid the attack and start to shoot at my protectors

But thankfully all of the bullets are wide of the mark

Now the bikers are getting closer and closer

I can almost see the whites of their eyes.

They are only five metres behind me

As i look in the rear view mirror i see one of the bikers is taking aim

at my head.

Surely he cant miss from that distance?

Than the Eagle swoops in and plucks the pistol from the bikers grasp

Then it flys over to my window and hovers with the pistol in its talons

I grab that gun and i am prepared to use it.

The feathered kamikaze birds are still dive bombing the  bikers

Than i notice that there are only three birds left.

The other three of my feathered friends are MIA.

My eyes are full of tears as i think about my three fallen angels

The time is right to make a stand.

I get off a couple of shots and the two bikers fall back a bit.

I say a little prayer and pull hard on the Handbrake.

And do a 180.

Now i am facing the two bikers and i get off a few more shots

The bikers swerve but a few bullets have hit the mark.

One must of hit the petrol tank because the Harley explodes in

a ball of fire.

The biker just jumps off in time before he is engulfed in flames

His biker mate stops to pick him up

And they ride towards my car than stop.

The three of us give each other the death stare

I point the gun in their direction and they soon get the message

So they give me the finger and rode off back to where they came from.

I turn the car around and head west once again

The eagle and the kookaburra fly in to join me

And the parrot follows suit.

But there is still no sign of the three fallen comrades.

I sit there for two hours.

than i know that i will never see them again.

I put my foot down and head towards my new life in the west.

God what an adventure

I know one thing.

If i ever decide to go back home

I will be catching a plane.

Roar trips are a thing of the past

But it was a fucking blast.

The End

Thanks for taking the time to read one of my stories, now if you have the means could you please make a donation so i can reach my goal of becoming a fulltime writer. Thanks again Steven.