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Tag Archives: america

Roadkill ( Mantle Piece of Death )

11 Saturday Apr 2020

Posted by stevenjohnno in stories

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Tags

america, bald eagle, blood, cannibalism, cougar, murder, roadkill, taxidermist

As soon as the sun disappeared below the horizon a family of raccoons scampered from the safety of their burrow on the endless search for food.

The mother raccoon keeps an eye out for predators while her two youngsters dig for worms and grubs whilst the male raccoon runs over to a nearby creek in the hope of catching a fish or two to feed his hungry brood.

After ten minutes the father raccoon grows increasingly frustrated when he fails to catch anything but then he suddenly remembers a spot downstream where he caught a huge catfish a while back.

But to get there he has to cross a gravel road , he has traversed this road on many occasions but this time the little rascal is in mortal danger.

Just as he stepped onto the road a pickup truck travelling at speed hits the tiny creature killing him instantly.

The raccoon is one of man animals that will killed on the roads across america today, roadkill on a massive scale.

58 year old Myron Oxenford has been employed at Bilford county Mississippi for just on forty years and he takes great pride in his job.

Every day except for the lords day he drives his pickup around the county scraping roadkill from the streets and depositing them to the side so other animals don’t get killed as they eat the kill.

Myron is a big man who some say resembles Kenny Rogers having a very bad day.

Today Myron is is a good mood as he picks up his keys for another day of keeping the streets of Bilford county clean and tidy and even though he probably wont admit Myron has a strange fixation for roadkill.

An hour into his shift Myron is cruising down a backwater road when he spots a dead raccoon in the middle of the road fifty yards ahead.

The raccoon is still relatively fresh and its skin is undamaged perfect for Myron’s weird hobby.

He is an amateur taxidermist and this critter will give him hours of stuffing pleasure.

At 3.30 pm Myron heads home with another collection of animals to keep him fed for weeks.

Most of them are to mangled to be stuffed and mounted except for the raccoon who looks like it could still be alive if not for a broken neck.

Myron skins the motley crew of squirrel, rattlesnake,gopher and groundhog and chops the meat into bite size pieces and throws it into a huge pot along with a few cups of broth and salt and pepper.

As he waits for his meal to cook Myron places the unfortunate raccoon’s pelt onto an armature stand and begins to stuff it with materid’s that are supposed to bring life back to dead animal but Myron’s taxidermy skills are below par so now the raccoon resembles a misshapen creature from an Edgar Allen Poe novel.

After decades of drinking over proof moonshine Myron brain has turned to mush and now he believes that if he talks to all the stuffed animals that decorate his cabin that one day they will all come back to life and run back into the woods alive and kicking.

So he always leaves a window open in case that day eventuates.

What Myron doesn’t know is that for a few months a tiny field mouse has been coming into his bedroom while he sleeps and has been drinking the pools of drool that collect on his pillow every night

Homer Simpson himself would be proud at the amount of saliva that dribbles and the mouse takes great joy in drinking the liquid and running out into the living room feeding the precious fluid into the mouths of the stuffed and mounted animals that sit on shelves and in particular the rodent feeds a bald eagle and cougar that sit on top of a mantle piece.

After indulging in a few too many jars of moonshine Myron wakes with a throbbing headache and a mouth dryer than the Saraha Desert.

So Myron drinks another jar to keep the gremlins at bay then after a shower he feels healthy enough to go about another day.

He grabs a glass of water before leaving the house but stops in his tracks and stares long and hard at the bald eagle on the mantle piece that he stuffed and mounted a few months ago.

His eyes must be playing tricks but he could have sworn that the eagle moved its wings a second ago but Myron has a laugh when he feels the breeze coming in the open window so he closes it and goes off to work.

26 year old Sally Nulksteader is out enjoying an early morning run along a back road grateful for an opportunity to get out in the sun while her husband Brett looks after their twin boys who turned one back in July.

Her track shoes hit the road hard as Sally runs around a bend but she doesn’t hear anything but the soothing sound coming from her ear bubs.

Sadly She will never touch her boys or hear their laughter ever again.

Myron is still feeling a little queasy as he drives a too fast around a sweeping bend.

His eyes widen is dread when he notices the lady running on the side of the road and he screams in horror when he feels her body under the wheels of his pickup.

‘Holy fucking shit’ Myron whispers not quite believing what has just happened.

He can still taste the alcohol on his breath and knows that he would be well and truly over the limit so he puts his foot down to flee the scene.

But than a voice whispers in his ear ‘What are you doing Myron? I prime piece of roadkill is there for the taking so go back and take it home and it will become your masterpiece’

Myron slams on his brakes reverses back and throws Sally Nulksteader’s body in the back of his pickup.

And to give himself an alibi he calls his boss and tells him that he has the flu and will spend the day in bed.

Myron spends an hour carefully removing the skin from the body of his first human display item.

He drapes the skin over an armature stand and leaves it to dry while he cuts her flesh from her bones and throws the tidbits into the pot with a few carrots and onions .

The unused meat in placed in sterilized jars and placed in his pantry where it will come in handy when the cold weather hits.

After eating his first meal of human flesh Myron grabs a jar of moonshine and goes into his room for an afternoon nap.

After waiting an hour to make sure it is safe the rejuvenated eagle swoops down from the mantle piece and begins to rip pieces of meat from the human skeleton littering the living room floor.

As the eagle eats gaining strength with every bite the cougar stays in place because it has another victim in mind.

A few hours later Myron staggers from his bedroom with the taste of human flesh still in his mouth and he is eager for another meal.

Then from its perch on the mantle piece the cougar springs down knocking Myron to the floor.

The big cat could just bite the back of its victims neck killing it instantly but the cougar wants this human to suffer so all it does in sit on the stunned man.

The eagle swoops down and using a piece of sinew it sews Myron’s mouth closed and ties his hands behind his back.

Then the raptor tears both eyeballs from their sockets and swallows them whole.

Myron writhes on the floor in agony as the raptor and cougar begin to feed.

The pair eat slowly at first but the blood soon awakens their taste buds and they get down to business ripping Myron apart eating him alive.

The amateur taxidermist screams in silent agony as the animals that he stuffed and mounted months ago finally put him out of his misery.

Now Myron Oxenford is the one who is well and truly stuffed.

THE END.

Stinger ( Part Two )

09 Saturday Sep 2017

Posted by stevenjohnno in poems, stories

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Tags

america, drugs, genetics, mexico, revenge, stinger, wasp

In part one of this story i introduced you to El Groucho the meanest baddest drug smuggler in Mexico.

El Groucho had been smuggling drugs into America for decades but over  the last year or so all of his efforts have been thwarted by the american authorities.

So he came up with a very cunning plan.

 

He kidnapped an genetic scientist and his family and held them for ransom.

The scientist was told to come up with a way to smuggle drugs that was invisible to radar or his family would be killed.

After a week of trial and tribulation he finally came up with the idea of genetically modifying a wasp.

A wasp that at first was the size of a sparrow but now has grown to the size of a small plane.

 

The modified wasp started flying back and forth between Mexico and America delivering saddlebags full of cocaine to the american public and bringing back millions of dollars to El Groucho.

But during the long lonely flights the wasp started to dip its stinger into the saddlebags sampling the product.

And pretty soon the modified wasp was addicted.

 

Back in his compound El Groucho after having the scientist and hid family murdered.

Was busy counting his money when the modified wasp crashed through his living room wall killing a Few of El Groucho’s henchmen.

While El Groucho narrowly escaped by the skin of his teeth and made his way to a secret fortress near the pico de orizaba mountain.

And the modified flew off with his saddlebags full of cocaine.

 

Part Two.

The modified wasp has almost reached Texas feeling strung out a little bit worse for the weather.

Its saddlebags are empty and it desperately needs some relief.

 

The wasp is now the size of a large glider and is just as silent and like a stealth bomber it is invisible to radar,

With a stinger as long as a javelin and as thick as a mans arm

It is a weapon of enormous proportions a weapon of death.

 

The wasp starts to feel a little nostalgic as it comes in for a landing.

He never knew his mother but he knows that she was born in this neck of the woods.

So this is the perfect place to recuperate and rid his body from the drug dependency.

 

He lands near a large cave and crawls inside to cleanse his body and mind.

Then he closes his eyes and enters a state of hibernation.

 

As the wasp sleeps he shakes and shivers as his body screams out for a fix.

But he is not alone because all of the local insects come out to lend a helping hand.

They tend to all of his needs as he goes through cold turkey.

 

Two weeks later the wasp opens his eyes to the start of a brand new life

It crawls out of the cave and starts to beat his wings getting ready for takeoff.

And as he prepares to take to the sky he has only two things on his mind.

Rid America and Mexico from the scourge of drugs and to find and kill El Groucho.

 

At his fortress in the north of Mexico El Groucho is busy setting up a new operation.

He is still recovering from his encounter with the modified wasp but he is determined to once again be a major player in the drug trade.

After all the Americans still need to feed their habits and El Groucho is more than happy to supply their misery.

 

The wasp has just entered Mexican airspace when his stinger starts to twirl and twist it has honed in on a drug making warehouse.

The wasp lands silently on the roof of the warehouse and using its stinger like a can opener it peels back the corrugated iron.

It looks down onto the workers below as they bag up kilo after kilo of cocaine

Then it drops down like a blood thirsty bumble bee.

 

It lands with a thud in the middle of the room and the bagger’s scatter in all directions.

But the wasp isn’t interested in them they are just peasant folk trying to feed their families.

All of his concentration is on four guards armed with machine guns.

Soon the bullets are flying and the wasp is hit by over twenty rounds but they have little affect.

Because the wasps body has also modified it is now a two inch thick combination of kevlar and carbon steel.

 

It is on the guards with lightning speed and they are all despatched with a single bite.

Then the wasp opens the bags of cocaine with its stinger beats its wings as fast as a hummingbird and the cocaine is gone with the wind.

Then the wasp fills its saddlebags with all of the drug money sets fire to the warehouse and takes off.

 

Once outside the wasp swoops down low over a local village  and empties the saddlebags that contain almost one million dollars.

All of the people race outside and fill their pockets with the money sent from heaven.

They have never seen so much money now they will be able to feed and clothe their families for years.

 

In the following months the wasp flies all over Mexico destroying every drug operation that it comes across.

Burning the drugs and raining down millions of dollars on the poor folk below.

 

And of course all of this activity hasn’t gone unnoticed by the media.

Television stations all over the country are reporting the story of a strange flying creature that is destroying drug operations and making the poor rich with money from the heavens.

The modified wasp is fast becoming something of a hero to the masses.

And the press have even given the creature a name ‘El Saviour’

 

But not all people are happy with the activities of ‘El Saviour’

Up in his fortress El Groucho is seething as he watches his TV with his eyes ablaze.

Something will have to be done about this ‘El Saviour’ so he picks up an encrypted phone and makes some calls.

 

He is calling his fellow drug barons who control the drug trade in Mexico.

They are all losing money hand over fist and they will stop at nothing to stop this ‘El Saviour’

And they agree to meet El Groucho at his fortress in three days time.

 

One by one the drug lords arrive at an airport fifty miles from the fortress  and they all board a helicopter supplied by El Groucho.

And they takeoff towards their destiny.

 

The drug lords are relaxing with shots of tequila  talking about ways to rid themselves from the menace of ‘El Saviour’

When from the corner of his eye the pilot notices an incoming threat.

A huge wasp is racing towards the helicopter and the pilot screams at his passengers to strap themselves in.

But his warning comes way too late.

 

‘El Saviour comes in low and fast and before the passengers can move he runs his stinger along the side of the copter.

And opens it up like a can of beans.

A few of the passengers are sucked out and slam into the rotor blades while the rest pray to their maker as the helicopter goes into free fall and hits the ground.

 

In his fortress El Groucho sees the flames on the side side of the mountain and his knees start to buckle.

He looks at the huge fireball and knows that he is in big trouble ‘El Saviour’ is nearby looking for a fight.

Bring it on motherfucker.

 

The modified wasp know that El Groucho is nearby but it is not quite sure where.

He waves his stinger and tastes the air trying to pick up a scent.

And sure enough he picks up a smell the smell of fear.

He gets his bearings and flies toward a fortress a mile away.

 

El Groucho is waiting for an attack and he isn’t surprised when a huge wasp appears on the horizon.

But he is surprised by the sheer size of it.

The wasp is now the size of a airliner and coming in fast.

 

El Groucho waits for the wasp to get within firing range

He puts a surface to air missile launcher to his shoulder takes aim and fires.

But the missile is deflected by the wasp and it loses its course and heads back towards the fortress.

 

‘Holy shit’ El Groucho screams as the missile streaks toward him

He runs as fast as he can but is still inside when the missile hits the fortress.

But once again luck is on El Grouchos side and he crawls outside virtually unscathed.

The fortress is now nothing more than a pile of rubble and El Groucho crawls toward a land rover to make an escape.

 

But he doesn’t get very far when ‘El Saviour comes in hard and fast and impales El Groucho in the thigh.

And carries him off toward the pico de arizaba mountain.

An active volcano.

 

El Groucho is wriggling like a fish caught on a hook as the modified wasp hovers above the crater.

Then the wasp points his stinger earthward and El Groucho falls into the molten lava.

 

El Groucho screams all the way down he cant believe that he has been defeated by a creature that he helped create.

His screams stop as he hits the lave and becomes nothing but ash.

 

The modified wasp smiles with satisfaction with a job well done

And in a heartbeat he is gone.

Destination unknown

 

 

 

 

THE END

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