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Tag Archives: dogs

Good Little Doggie

12 Friday Feb 2016

Posted by stevenjohnno in poems, stories, Uncategorized

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Tags

animal attack, cats, dogs, pets

What a perfect Day.

The Sun is shining the Birds are Chirping

A good Day for a walk in the Park.

So I put on My Baseball Cap and my walking Shoes.

Then I jump in My Car.

After a Twenty Minute Drive I arrive at My Destination.

Sydneys’s Centennial Park.

My favourite spot for some recreation.

And chatting up Chicks.

I just follow the Path taking in all of the sights.

Nodding to my fellow Walkers.

Basking in the Sunshine.

Listening to all of the Birds.

Yes Life doesn’t get any better them this.

Coming towards Me is a young Lady with a Chihauhau

on a Lead.

The Dog is wagging its Tail and its Tongue is hanging out.

It is obviously enjoying its walk.

I they get near Me I reach down to give the Dog a Pat.

‘Good little Doggie’ I say.

The young Lady is startled and says ‘Mister I wouldn’t get

to close to Misty.’

I look at Her and then at the Dog.

It is about the size of a Guinea Pig.

The Chihauhau looked at Me.

And then it started to snarl like a Pit Bull on heat.

It made a sound like a rabid Cujo.

And bared its Teeth like a Wolf.

And before I could react.

It had latched on to Two of My Fingers.

I could feel it chewing and biting through My Skin.

And right into the Bone.

Then those Tow Fingers were bitten right off.

And swallowed on down.

I couldn’t believe this was happening

I was screaming My Lungs out.

And Blood was pouring from My wound.

But Misty the Chihauhau wasn’t finished with Me yet.

It had latched on to My Ankle.

And was biting into My Achilles Tendon.

I was shaking My Leg trying to throw it off.

But it was hanging on for grim death.

And then I heard My Tendon snap.

As I fell to the ground Misty the Chijauhau.

That good little Doggie from Hell

Got hold of My other Ankle

And this time I heard and felt My Tendon snap.

Well I was laying on the ground.

I couldn’t move.

And the young Lady was saying. ‘Mister leave Misty

alone.’

Couldn’t the B arch see all of the Blood?

This isn’t no game.

I couldn’t stand up to escape the Beast.

I was screaming for help

Them Misty that Evil Chihauhau latched onto my Throat.

I started to panic as I felt its Teeth dig in deep

As it shook its Head from side to side.

I felt My Lifes Blood draining away.

And then I felt no more.

I woke up in the Hospital.

Minus Two Fingers and My dignity.

Both of My Tendons have been reattached.

My Throat is sore and swollen.

The Doctors mightn’t be able to talk.

But if I do it will only be a whisper.

But all I can think about.

Is that I have been brought to Deaths door

By a Chihauhau the size of a drowned Rat.

That good little Doggie was possessed.

Just like that Girl in that ‘Exorcist’ Movie.

I press the Button.

And I feel the Morphine relieve the pain.

As the Drug is taking hold.

I look out of the Hospital Window.

And I almost call for a Bedpan

For out in the Carpark is a young Lady with a Dog

A good little Doggie with an attitude problem.

They are both laughing as they look into My Room

I can still hear the snarls.

And I can still feel its Teeth.

And this time I call for the Bedpan.

I was in Hospital for Two Months.

My physical wounds are healing really well.

But My Mental wounds are still a work in progress.

Will they ever heal?

I guess only time will tell.

I was released from the Hospital on a Tuesday Afternoon.

And I have to use a Walking Stick for a while.

A bonus is that the Two Fingers that I lost aren’t on My

dominant Hand.

I wonder if the Owner of that Dog from Hell will have to

stand trial?

And will I have to take the Witness Stand?

After about Six Months I am starting to feel at ease and relaxed.

I haven’t seen the young Lady or that Demonic Dog again.

My Mind is feeling better.

But there still are a few cracks.

And I am actually thinking about getting a Pet.

But it sure as fuck wont be a Dog.

As I think about what sort of Pet to get.

I come to a decision.

I am going to get Myself a Cat.

Or maybe a small Green Tree Frog?

But a Cat it is.

I go and check out My Local Pound.

And right away I spot a cute little Siamese.

A Cat is a lot safer then a deranged Hound.

And the Cat smiles at Me eager to please.

So I name Her Pandora and take Her Home.

But I make sure that 000 is on speed dial on My

Mobile Phone.

Everything at Home is all set up for a Moggy.

Litter Tray plenty of Toys and Cat food.

But Pandora is a fussy eater.

She doesn’t like the Food that I provide.

And She let Me know by Hissing and baring Her Teeth.

I am beginning to think that having a Cat for a Pet.

Might be a bit misguided.

I hope that Pandora doesn’t think that I taste like Beef?

So when I go Shopping I buy Her another brand of Cat Food.

Especially made for fussy eaters.

Made from hand crafted Organic Chicken.

Well Pandora’s Eyes light up.

And She gets in a real mellow Mood.

But then She stops eating so I say Come on Pandora give

it another try’

Well Her Eyes go from Green to stone cold Dead.

She looks at Me like I am a Turkey ready to Baste.

I think it is time little Kitty went to Bed.

Well Pandora has other ideas.

And She springs at Me like a Voodoo Princes on Meth.

I try to lurch back.

But I was nowhere near quick enough.

Then Pandora’s Claws raked My Face.

And I felt My Left Eyeball turn to mush.

I cant believe this is happening again.

Another Animal attack.

I can feel My Eyeball juices running down My Face

And I ring 000 lucky it is on speed dial.

I hold My Hand up to My Eye Socket.

To maybe hold My Eye in place.

And Pandora takes off.

Running a Three minute Mile.

So once again I am on My way to Hospital.

Maybe they will give Me the same Bed

But if they cant do that.

They can give me a Bed for the repeated Victim of

an Animal attack instead.

Well I have lost an Eye.

And I have Thirty Six Stitches up and down My Face.

So now I look like Cyclops

So I stay at Home to avoid the stares.

But the Doctors finally fitted Me with a Prosthetic Eyeball.

And I am still walking with the aide of a Walking Stick.

But I am still breathing.

So I am still alive.

And I would still love to have a Pet.

What sort of Pet should I get?

A Rabbit?

A Guinea Pig?

A Hamster?

Or maybe I will get Myself a Pet Bird.

Or maybe a Fish?

But then I sit back and take stock.

And I go and buy Myself a Pet Rock.

THE END

Thank you for reading one of my stories and if you can please make a donation so i can reach my goal of becoming a fulltime writer. Thanks again Steven.

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Cooper The Pooper Scooper

30 Thursday Apr 2015

Posted by stevenjohnno in poems, stories

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Tags

dogs, pooper scooper

Hi, My name is Mitchell Cooper and I am a professional

Dog walker.

My friends laugh and call me Cooper The Pooper Scooper.

But that’s okay I don’t plan on being a Dog walker for much

longer.

People think that I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth

But nothing could be further from the truth.

I live in an apartment about the size of a telephone booth.

I have been grooming clients for about two years now.

building up the trust.

Getting into their heads and into their beds

One of my clients is a widow.

She owns more cars then a car dealership

She has more jewels then the Queen

And more Dogs then a pet store.

Her name is Esme Clutterbuck.

She is Seventy years old with Purple hair and a mean

streak.

She talks to me like I am a piece of shit on her shoe.

I arrive at her beach front home I find her waiting for me.

She says to take the Dogs for a walk and when I come

back knock on the door she has a proposition for me.

After taking her Dogs for their walk I find her sitting on her

Itatian sofa.drinking a Chivas Regal on ice looking out of her

window watching the yachts on the lake.

She asks me that if I am not busy tomorrow could I drive her to

the airport.

Cause the Chauffer Ghives was off sick.

She would be gone for two weeks she was going on a cruise.

Would I mind watching the house and walk and feed the Dogs?

After driving her to the airport she gave me the security code and

the keys to the house.

Without even a wave or a goodbye she was gone

I couldn’t believe my luck and I drove back to her house and let

myself inside.

I had plenty of time so I went exploring.

I ate her food and drank her booze.

Then I put my feet up and watched the evening news

I started to think that a lady like Mrs Clutterbuck had to

have plenty of money and jewels.

She had to have a safe.

I began by looking behind all the paintings.

But I didn’t find a thing but it isn’t over yet

I haven’t heard the fat lady sing.

Where would an old lady keep a safe?

I go to her walk in closet and I have a look around

Then I part her evening gowns.

And there on the wall I see the tumblers

That has ended my frustration now to find the combination

If you have read any Agatha Christie the combination will be in

an envelope taped under the bed side drawer

And that is where I score.

Inside an envelope is the combination 23l 2r 16l

I race back to the closet and I try the combination and the safe

door swings open.

And inside is stacks and stacks of money.

I grab for bundles and I do a quick dash.

Downstairs my heart is beating double time

I count the money 4 sacks of $20,000 that is $ 80,000

all up.

For the next two weeks I do my normal routine

I take the Dogs for a walk and do some pooper scooping

Thinking about another client who needs duping.

That client is Mrs Albright a young lady about my age

Her husband made his money on the stock exchange

And he has done very well.

Besides walking her Dogs Mrs Albright and I have been

getting it on.

I have been exploring every one of her crannys and nooks

Just like in that Karma Sutra book.

But what Mrs Albright doesn’t know is that everytime we try

a new position.

I have recorded it all on a disk.

If her husband saw us now he would just say tsk tsk

We were out walking the Dogs and of course I was using the

pooper scooper.

I suggested that hen we got home we could watch a movie

or just some TV.

Back at home we snuggle on the lounge and I press PLAY.

The look on her face is priceless

And for once she didn’t have anything to say.

She opened and closed her mouth like a Fish out of water

No words were coming out but my next words left her in

no doubt.

‘Give me $100,000 or I will leave a lot of clues and your husband

will receive the news.

And you will have the unfaithful blues

She just nods her head and she writes me out a cheque

I say before I go I have a sausage to hide.

Why don’t you take hold of it and we can go for a ride

She just gives me a look and points to the door.

And she says’I  don’t want to see you around here no more’

Client number three is a middle aged women called Mrs Pace

She wears a lot of jewellery and a painted face.

I have been walking her Dogs for years she is a nice lady

But her husbands business dealings are somewhat shady

He will be the victim of my scam

He is not a very nice man.

But before I can begin my ruse.

I have been busted by a self inflicted fuse

It deems that Mrs Albrights cheque has bounced

And Mr Policeman is about to pounce.

The law firm of Clutterbuck Albright and Pace have found

me guilty of the charge of obtaining money by deception.

The judge said that the charges are up for mention.

The jury found me guilty and gave me five years.

I couldn’t believe it and my eyes filled with tears.

The prison van takes to my new place of abode

a cell on the penitentiary road.

The Warden puts me in charge of the prisons Dogs

And he hands me a pooper scooper

As I wander around pooper scooping

My shoulders start to droop.

But then I realise I am who I am.

I am Cooper the Pooper Scooper

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