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‘Goiter ( 2 ) Soul Sacrifice’

16 Saturday Nov 2019

Posted by stevenjohnno in poems, stories

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Tags

descruction, evil, fire, god, horns, mayhem, murder, sacramento, san diego, tail, the devil, trident

In the first installment of this adventure I introduced you to Bernie Torrence a 35 year old retail manager from Sacramento California who had been experiencing severe stomach pain for a week.

Almost collapsing one morning while preparing to go to work all Bernie could do was stagger back to back where he hoped that the good lord would come down and carry him away.

Around lunchtime Bernie watched in horror as his stomach distended and began to swell like an over ripe watermelon and from his belly button emerged a tiny human figure ‘Hello my name is Audley Creed are you my mommy?’

Still recovering from giving birth Bernie can barely manage a whisper in reply ‘I suppose I am your mommy Audley but I am also your daddy as well’

With a squelch the rest of Audley’s body enters the world still joined to his mommy/daddy by an umbilical.

All Bernie can do is stare at the ugliest baby ever known and soon Audley will turn into the goiter from hell.

In the first few days of their acquaintance Bernie and Audley fight abd bicker over anything and everything but they both agree that Bernie is in no fit condition to return to work as the manager of the local supermarket

Bills need to be paid and now there is another mouth to feed so with no other options Bernie proposes that they appear on ‘Australia’s Got Talent’

with Audley pretending to be a ventriloquist’s dummy.

Audley isn’t keen on the idea but with no alternative he reluctantly agrees.

After a week of rehearsals they appear on the talent show and to their complete astonishment they win the audition but Audley isn’t happy with their stage name and wants it changed from ‘Torrence & Creed’ to ‘Creed & Friend’

Bernie cant believe how ungrateful the little turd is so he decides to have a few drinks to drown his sorrows and there is an upside to his alcohol intake and that is that the beer flows through his system along the umbilical cord causing Audley to become violently sick and sorry.

But not sorry enough apparently.

When Bernie fell asleep Audley chewed his way through the cord binding the two together than he wrapped the bloody appendage around Bernie’s throat in an attempt to strangle him.

Waking in fright Bernie fought for his life and managed to grab a pair of nail clippers and stab the little monster in his right eye.

Holding a hand over his face Audley flees the scene and disappears into the night.

Bernie breath’s a sigh of relief as he watches his offspring run, now hopefully now his life will return to some sort of normality.

PART TWO.

Audley stumbles along a backstreet knowing that if he doesn’t get his facial injury seen to quickly he will more than likely bleed to death before sunrise.

But luckily for him a passing paramedic notices his predicament and pulls over to offer some assistance

The two paramedics are stunned at the extent of the injury and all they can do is remove the damaged organ and apply a bandage until they transport the patient to hospital.

Audley knows that he cant let his two saviours take him to hospital where surely the cops will be summons and they would ask a lot of questions about how did he manage to be stabbed in the eye.

But being only two foot tall Audley knows that he will need help if he is get away from the paramedics.

And without an ounce of regret he calls on an inner demon and in a puff of smoke his maker the devil appears reducing his sons enemies to nothing but two piles of cinders and bone.

Bernie still cant believe that the boy that he brought into this world is just an evil motherfucker who tried to throttle him with his own umbilical cord.

When Audley fled after failing in his attempt to kill his parent he ripped the umbilical cord from Bernie’s body.

Bleeding profusely Bernie knows that he is in mortal danger so he to calls upon an inner strength.

‘God as you know I am not a believer but if you do exist can you please heal my wounds so that I can find Audley Creed and beat the shit out of him and bring him to justice before he can harm anyone else.

( As he whispered his prayer Bernie had no way of knowing that Audley with some help from the dark side has already committed the ultimate sin twice )

‘And God if you really really do exist can you please deposit $ 1 million into my bank account to pay for my funereal if you cant find in your heart to save me ‘

‘But if I do survive I promise to spend the money on my quest to track down Creed and a little on beer hookers and sundry expenses etc etc etc.

Thank you Jesus thank you Lord.

Audley Creed is almost back to his old self after the Devil held his hot trident to his eye suturing the cavity closed.

Losing an eye is a inconvenience but it is a small price to pay to be able to follow his father into the darkness.

Being the Devil’s spawn gives him a huge advantage in ensuring that all goodness and well being is destroyed forever so now the bad men in the black hats will bring pestilence and corruption for eternity.

Bernie wakes from a deep sleep with a slight headache and a full bladder.

As he stands before the throne is surprised that he doesn’t feel any more pain from his injured stomach and when he lifts his shirt he is surprised to discover that the massive wound is healed ,there isn’t even a scar.

Thank you Jesus thank you lord.

Feeling the best he has in years Bernie goes into town to celebrate the second he has been given at life but first he has to visit the bank to check if a second miracle has befallen him.

After standing in a queue for 20 minutes Bernie asks the teller if she could check the balance of his account when she tells him that currently he has $1,000,527 available.

‘Oh my God Bernie did you win the lottery or something’

Bernie has no words all he can do is sit down before he falls down.

After running a few errands Bernie still cant believe that he has over $1 million in the bank.

If God is willing to give him a shitload of money maybe he could ask for a fridge full of beer that never runs out or free flights to anywhere for the rest of his life.

He is still smiling as he pulls into his driveway when his phone pings alerting him that he has a new message.

The message is from a PRIVATE NUMBER and Bernie wouldn’t normally reply to a message from anyone hiding behind their device but this time he relents ‘Hello Bernie God here ,don’t push your luck because what I giveth I can easily take back’

“To earn your money Bernie you need to find Audley Creed and destroy his evil soul because he has just teamed up with the Devil and together those two could threaten the very existence of mankind’

‘Kill the fucker Bernie kill him dead Yours Truly God’

The message instantly disappears from the screen leaving Bernie to wonder whether having $ 1 million is really worth the hassle.

500 miles away Audley is wandering the streets of San Diego seeking food and a place to rest for the night.

He now sports a black patch over the ruined eye and every now and then he will rub the spot where his eye used to be and when he rubs Audley thinks about Bernie Torrence the man who gave birth to him and how good it will feel to slowly torture the cunt then send him on a one way ticket to hell where he will meet his original father ,the Devil.

As he saunters along he pretends not to notice the looks strangers give him as they pass by him.

It isn’t easy being two foot tall with an eye patch with a shock of orange hair.

If only the fuckers knew that with only a whisper he could have them all burnt to a crisp.

When he gets close to Jefferson Park he notices a huge big top tent set up.

The circus must be in town.

A dozen or so people have formed a line to buy tickets and Audley attempts to pass unnoticed but no such luck’Hey freak where are you going? You should join the circus because you would fit right in’

Audley eyes the creep with eyes of fire ( I should say eye of fire ) and the mouth seeing the danger in the little freaks features backs away.

Audley could easily call his father to burn the fucker but he doesn’t want to attract too much attention to himself before the Devil can end existence as we know it.

The owner of the circus a huge bear of a man who closely resembles the serial killer Ed Kemper eyes Audley suspiciously as he approaches.

Lowell Payne is not only obese but he is meaner than a wolverine and he doesn’t take kindly to trespassers ‘Hey asshole where in the fuck do you think you are going? This is private property so go back and stand in line like everybody else’

Audley looks up at the giant feeling a little like Jack in the beanstalk ‘I don’t want to buy a ticket you dumb chunk of shit. I need a place to stay for a while so shut the fuck up and give me a job and stop wasting my time’

Lowell is about to squash the potty mouthed tom thumb like a bug but he has to admit that the one eyed midget has a lot of spunk plus he is the perfect size to get shot from a cannon ‘Okay Tom I hope you have a head for heights and like the smell of gunpowder’

Today must be your lucky day because it just happens that there is a current vacancy so be here at 7 o’clock sharp tomorrow morning and don’t be late’

‘My name is Audley Creed asswipe and don’t you forget it’

‘I have nowhere else to go so I will start immediately ,now show me where I can bunk down for the night and make it snappy’

For once in his life Lowell Payne is lost for words and he glumly leads Audley to a bunch of trailers out the back.

As he follows his new boss Audley rubs the patch over his right eye with one hand while his other hand gingerly touches a pair of nodules breaking through the skin on both sides of his head.

Audley’s horns are making an appearance.

At home Bernie is perched on the edge of his seat demolishing a can of Millers Lite as he ponders the best way to locate Creed without earning the wrath of the Devil and the hell of horrors.

God has graciously given him a lot of cash and hopefully he can catch Creed without spending too much of the heavenly money.

But all that can wait until tomorrow because right now he has plans to sink a few more beers and watch some porn on the XXX channel.

Hopefully God will have his back turned and his hands out of his pockets.

Not quite in the mood just yet Bernie channel surfs and soon comes across a documentary on CBN about the plight of millions of refugees and misplaced people the world over who had to flee their homes to escape poverty and government corruption.

Transfixed Bernie forgets all about pleasuring himself watching porn and his beer is now flat and unappealing.

He vows then and there to help his fellow human beings even if it means spending every cent of God’s kind donation.

Bernie’s phone once again pings and PRIVATE NUMBER lights up the screen and this time Bernie answers immediately ‘Hello Bernie good to see that you are going to help the people because I cant do it all by myself’

Bernie you will need to use your generous heart to destroy Audley Creed because if you try to fight fire with fire you will lose and than the Devil and his one eyed apprentice will drag you down to hell where you will burn and smoulder for damnation’

Before Bernie can get a word in the message again deletes automatically and once more the born again Christian ponders whether having a lot of money is worth getting roasted alive down in the Devils basement.

He will to remember to go to the drug store and buy some super doper sunburn cream.

At the circus Audley is making a lot of new friends even though he knows that soon they will all be burning a slow burn.

He is rooming with lobster boy who has claws instead of hands plus rubber man who would win the game twister every single time.

Every day he has lunch with his room mates ,the bearded lady and a few of the clowns who all help him adjust to circus life under the big top.

Getting shot out of a cannon three times a day takes a lot of getting used to especially the hot wick burning his butt and the safety net could be a tad wider.

Audley no longer rubs his eye patch even though the still holds a hate for Bernie Torrence.

He now rubs the two horns that recently sprouted on his head.

Like father like son.

Bernie is now a fully fledged man of God and now he walks the street in a long white gown and has let his hair grow’

The only disappointment is his scraggly beard that wouldn’t look out of place on a pimply faced teenager.

He bought himself a bible from a secondhand store and reads the scriptures to anyone who will listen and next week Bernie will celebrate the opening of a new soup kitchen.

Audley along with two pointy horns now has an itch above his butt crack where a tail is beginning to form plus his skin is now a deep red colour.

He is now officially a little Devil.

And his new appearance hasn’t gone unnoticed Lowell Payne who is keen to cash in because when it comes to the circus there is no such thing as too many freaks.

Audley is due at the office to pick up his pay check and when he does Lowell will tell him days of getting shot from a cannon are over because now is will be the circus’s new star attraction Lil’ Lucifer.

Lowell is busy calculating how much money his new freak will bring to the circus when the horned one enters his office.

Audley takes a seat and listens as his boss tells him about his new role but as Lowell talks his balls do a somersault in their sac when he comes to realise that Audley is actually a readers digest condensed version of the prince of darkness a real life Devil with horns a tail red skin and a temper to match.

Realizing the danger that he is in Lowell attempts to flee but the one eyed mini lucifer is having none of that and he rubs his hands together furiously causing sparks to fly around the room disorientating the scared circus owner.

Then Audley swings his newly formed tail and the barbs on the end sink into Lowell’s rotund belly who falls to the ground sirloined and purloined.

Lowell Payne is now nothing more than fresh kibble.

The Devil is watching his protégé on CCTV live from his over heated basement with pride burning his black heart.

His demon seed is progressing well and if all goes as planned planet earth will become a wasteland.

Satisfied that Lowell has been burnt to a crisp Audley gathers up his tail and runs outside where he shoots more sparks into the big top and into his co- workers trailers.

Then he stands back and watches as flames ignite spreading quickly devouring the tent and trailers and all persons within.

All up that night 280 people lost their lives as evil tries to take control from the good and steal the souls from the living.

Bernie Torrence is busy in his kitchen serving up the soup of the day and as he ladles out another bowl of chicken noodle soup to one of his regulars his eyes steal a glance ata small TV attached to a wall.

His eyes widen in alarm and recognition as he listens to a news report from San Diego.

He becomes increasingly worried as the reporter ,Penny Waffleon gushes ‘News just coming in from San Diego ,a fire has burnt down the big top and surrounding trailers of a visiting circus killing all 230 patrons and circus workers’

‘Even more disturbing is that the police believe that the fire was deliberately lit with an eye witness telling them that he saw a person of a small stature fleeing the scene.’

‘The suspect is described as being only two feet tall with a patch over his right eye and I know this will sound strange but he perpetrator is said to has horns and a long tail’

Now over to Dan Druff with the weather ,Dan’

Bernie tells his cook to take over and he rushes out to his car and begins the two hour drive to San Diego.

As he drives Bernie half expects God to ring with instructions on how to stop a sunburnt midget from starting complete mayhem.

When he reaches his destination Bernie still hasn’t heard a peep from his maker but he isn’t that concerned because he can feel God’s presence all around him.

The area around the crime scene is taped off with homicide detectives scanning the surrounds looking for clues but unfortunately there is no sign of Audley Creed.

50 metres away Audley smiles when he sees his Bernie over near the police containment line.

He has taken refuge behind a dumpster having been unable to escape and so far he has managed to stay hidden from the cops.

Now with his birth father unknowingly coming to his rescue Audley knows exactly what he needs to do.

Unseen he sidles up beside his dad and grabs hold of his hand.

Bernie almost died there and then when he looked down and saw who was holding his hand immediately he tried to break free but Audley was holding him in a vice like grip, ‘Why you little Devil you are even more evil than I ever imagined and you are definitely no son of mine so just give up and accept your punishment’

Before Bernie can alert the police he falls to his knees in intense pain and to his astonishment his belly button from where he gave birth to Audley opens up and the evil little fucker crawls inside like a joey kangaroo returning to the pouch.

The genie is back in the bottle.

The Devil is disappointed that his protégé couldn’t achieve his objective this time because he has been waiting for eons to bring darkness to mankind so a few more months shouldn’t make much difference.

Up amongst the clouds God is relieved that the ultimate fight has been put on hold for a while and he is still confident that Bernie want let him down.

Plus if he needs to step in and perform a miracle or two to help save humanity than he will.

THE END

PART THREE is coming soon so keep an eye out.

Stories After Midnight ( 2 )

30 Saturday Mar 2019

Posted by stevenjohnno in poems, stories

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Tags

evil, ghost, murder, power, soul, supernatural

My name is Warren Bigelow and in part one of this story i told you how i got a job after visiting my local library.

Desperate for work i stumbled across a business card posted on the community notice board.

The employer apex industries were seeking a handyman who also liked to read.

Well i would read books 24/7 if i could but i am not very handy on the tools so i replaced the business card and made my way home.

Imagine my surprise when the next day i received a phone call from the owner of apex industries Daphne Pincombe offering me the job sight unseen. ( I still don’t know how she got hold of my phone number )

I explain to her that i am not very good working with tools ‘That is alright Warren i just know that you are the perfect person to fill the position’

So i find myself accepting her job offer and i arrive at my new workplace a little before midnight .

I am greeted by an elderly lady who introduces herself ‘Hello Warren pleased to meet you and i don’t mean to offend you but you have been visiting me in my dreams for the last few months so it is nice to finally meet you in person’

To say that i was shocked and a little creeped out would be an understatement but i stay silent and listen as she continues to talk ‘Dont worry about the handyman part of the job description it is really your ability with words that got you the job’

‘Every night we will be visiting clients in their homes at hospital or wherever your special skills are needed’

‘And after many years experience i have found that after midnight is the best time to achieve maximum results’

Daphne reaches out and grabs my hand’Warren i am sure that you have noticed that i am rather old and when i die i want you to carry on my legacy for many years to come’

So tell me all about your special power Warren’

I have no idea what Daphne is talking about’What special power?

‘Don’t worry Warren you obviously haven;t had the need to use it yet but i have seen your special power in action when you visited me in my dreams and i am sure you will utilize it when you have to’

The first three weeks at my new job went fast with nothing out of the ordinary happening but that all changed one night when we visited a young girl in hospital who had lost the will to live after a horse riding accident left her a quadriplegic.

After reading to the frightened teen all night with no effect the girl closed her eyes and said goodbye to the world.

Well i was having none of that so with not really knowing what i was doing i pointed my fingers towards her and blue sparks flew from my finger tips striking her with recharged energy that pulled her out of the funk leaving her sleeping peacefully.

Around Christmas time Daphne arrived at work in a distressed state and after drinking a strong cup of coffee she told me the reason why ‘Warren a evil mass rapist and murderer from the 1920’s named Cedric Otis invaded my dreams and turned it into a living nightmare’

Warren Otis died by in 1947 after being sentenced to death and soon after he died strapped to an electric chair’

‘Otis might be dead Warren but his demonic spirit still wanders the dark corridors of the afterlife and every now and then he enters my dreams in an attempt to kill me because he sees my goodness as a threat and i am afraid that if he visits me again he will be successful in his quest’

Daphne soon after becomes a shell of herself barely able to function and fight off the evil fucker Cedric Otis’

Will Warren be able to save Daphne in time ? Or will his entire world br turned upside down/

To find the answers to these questions just continue to read.

PART TWO.

It is with a heavy heart that i tell that my dear friend Daphe Pincombe passed away last night.

She will be greatly missed my me and also the people she has saved with her words of wisdom over many years.

Just before she died Daphne held my hand and said’ Remember Warren that Cedric Otis will target you now that my time is nigh so beware’

Then Daphne closed her eyes and passed over to the other side and not for the first time i soon realized .

A few days later i received a letter from Daphne’s solicitor asking me to attend his office for the reading of her last will and testament.

And imagine my surprise when upon arrival he informed me that i was Daphne’s sole beneficiary.

Now i own Apex Industries along with Daphne’s home plus various shares and annuities.

Daphne and i were only acquainted for a few months but she obviously saw me as some sort of kindred spirit so now my only desire is to live up to her expectations and make her proud.

Ten days later i arrived at Apex Industries to start a new chapter in my life but more importantly carry on Daphne’s legacy.

Walking into my new office a wave of fear overtook me when it hit me that i was completely out of my depth but i should have known that Daphne wouldn’t have left me in the lurch because sitting front and center on her desk was a single sheet of paper.

Dear Warren thank you for being a great friend and employee, sorry to leave you so soon but i am sure that we will meet again one day.’

‘I don’t mean to scare you Warren but you want gain new clients via email or phone instead you will hear voices when you daydream and while you sleep at night’

‘Please don’t be alarmed Warren because the voices wish you no harm they belong to people who have died and their only concern is for a relative or friend who are having suicidal thoughts or who need some strong words of advice before they self harm’

And understand Warren that you want be able to save everyone in distress because some people will be beyond your reach’

Plus Warren please heed my earlier warning concerning Cedric Otis because he will sometimes visit your dreams and thoughts in an attempt to mess with your mind’

Otis is the meanest fucker currently residing here on the other side and his wish is to gather enough souls so he can once again walk among the living causing pain and sorrow to innocents along his travels’

‘I am sorry that i have placed you in danger Warren but you are the only person capable of killing Otis once and for all’

‘Use your words and super power wisely because Otis has been slain three times already but the arsehole refuses to die’

PS If you need any help just holler’

It has now been three weeks since Daphne left this world and in that time no one has talked to me in my dreams or thoughts and i have to admit that i am getting a little worried because like everybody else i have bills to pay and put food on the table.

I decide to take a nap on the office couch to pass the day and hopefully a client will visit my sleep and offer me a chance to show off my skills.

And i am in luck because a scratchy voice enters my head and begins to talk ‘Warren my name is May Collins and i died in 2006 aged 74 years and i have been watching over my family ever since and lately i have become concerned about my niece Sharon who it seems wants to join me over here in eternal motion’

‘She is only 26 years old and has a lot of living to do before she comes to stay with me so please help me if you can Warren’

I wake not quite knowing where i am but i remember the voice in my dream then notice that i have written a name and address on a notepad.

So i take a quick shower to shake off the cobwebs before i drive over to Parramatta where Sharon Collins resides and just after midnight i use my trusty screwdriver to enter her humble abode.

Sharon is asleep in her bed and judging by the empty wine bottles strewn around the room she has had a hard night.

May’s niece obviously has some problems but i am here to perform a service and hopefully save her from herself so i reach into my backpack for a copy of ‘Wuthering Heights’ and begin to read.

Just as begin chapter ten of Sharons favourite book a small smile creases her face and her eyes flicker behind the closed lids.

My reading is having the desired affect so i finish the book then lean close and whisper in her ear ‘Sharon your Aunt May has been in touch and even though she loves you deeply she doesn’t want you to cross over until you are old and grey’

‘She wants you to be happy and enjoy a long life’ Sharon nods in understanding and for the first time in years has a peaceful sleep.

Over the following couple of months i have travelled all over the state visiting people in need after a deceased relative contacted me for assistance.

I have read books by Stephen King ,James Patterson ,Anne Rice plus old classics by Dickens ,Robert Louis Stevenson and Poe plus a personal message for them from beyond the grave.

And so far i haven’t had to use my super power plus Cedric Otis has been conspicuously absent.

Having dead people invading my daydreams and visiting me while i sleep has started to wear thin and is affecting my health.

I know that i am doing good and helping people in their hour of need but the constant invasion of my head space is really taking a toll.

Everytime my mind wanders a voice enters my brain asking for my help regarding a relative who wishes to enter the after life before their due date.

I want to help but i am only one man and i am starting to believe that i have taken on too much.

But i keep on helping night after night even though i am feeling worn out and then things take a turn for the worse one rainy night in December when an evil voice turns a dream into a nightmare ‘Hello motherfucker stop interfering with the food chain’

‘If the tortured souls and broken hearted want to venture over to my side of the fence then let them’

‘Because if you keep sticking your nose into my business i will bite off your tongue and eat it’

‘Lets how well you can talk then’

‘How am i supposed to fill my belly on the carcasses of the suffering fools if you keep meddling?’

‘So keep your nose clean or suffer the consequences ‘

I sit bolt upright in bed knowing that my visitor was none other than Cedric Otis who was executed for a string of violent crimes in 1899 but unfortunately he continues to travel the highways and byways of hell feasting on the lost souls that get a little too close.

I drink three cups of coffee in an attempt to stay awake but i am dog tired and soon i drift away.

And Otis hasn’t quite finished with me yet ‘ Still with me you little shit? Here is a taste of the pain i will inflict if you defy me’

I try to wake up but my eyes refuse to open and in my minds eye i see a silver glint flashing in front of me and when the pain hits i realise that Otis is slashing me with a knife.

The pain is horrendous and still i don’t wake then thankfully a friendly voice talks to me from her freshly dug plot’ Don’t worry Warren’ Daphne says’ I am here now so stay calm and i will have you all stitched up ready to face a brand new day’

I woke at 6 am with a full bladder with a face that feels like it has been stung by one thousand hornet’s.

As i wrestle with Mr Johnson i sneak a look at the bathroom mirror and a bruised stitched up stranger stares back at me.

My face is swollen with 50 stitches criss cross from ear to ear.

I didn’t expect to be attacked by a long dead when i signed up at Apex Industries but here i find myself carved up like a roast turkey and sporting more stitches than a cricket ball.

Then i remember Daphne’s kind words and her belief in me so i swallow my pride and scream down into the bowels of hell ‘Fuck you Mr fucking Otis and the horse you rode in on’

I know that i am fighting with fire but i cant let an evil man like Cedric Otis destroy all of Daphne’s good work.

Now i am even more determined to destroy Otis once and for all.

And i still have my super power up my sleeve .

I have only used it once with no idea how to use it or garner its strength.

The power helped me save a young girl on my first week on the job so i am confident that my power will save me if i am put in mortal danger.

Deep down beneath the soil Cedric Otis body was long ago eaten by assorted worms and beetles but his evil soul and spirit are still very much alive.

He visits the vulnerable when they are at their lowest tempting them to come down into his lair where he can devour them at his leisure.

Cedric is also wary of that interfering arsehole Warren Bigelow who might look like a wimp but the turd has been his toughest opponent so far along with that old bitch Daphne Pincombe.

It is almost 3 am on a cold winters night and Warren is at work reading the latest thriller by David Baldacci to a teenager who if he doesn’t mend his ways will soon be in the company of Cedric Otis.

Warren is a big Baldacci fan so he reads the book with passion giving voice to every character and his client strapped to his hospital bed dreams long forgotten happy thoughts.

As he drives home after another successful shift Warren sings along with an old eagles song and for a second he lets his mind wander and that is just the opening that Cedric was waiting for.

A stench fills the interior of Warrens car that almost makes him lose control of the Corolla.

Warren gags in distress as the smell of decomposition renders him useless for a few seconds but he soon joins the land of the living when the voice of Cedric Otis pipes up from the passenger ‘Last time i let you off with a few cuts and bruises but this time i am playing for keeps.’

Warren braces himself for the onslaught to come but nothing happens then a familiar kind voice whispers in his ear. ‘Keep calm and vigilant Warren’ Daphne says ‘Remember that good will always triumph over evil so keep that fucker out of your head and you will prevail’

Arriving home alive and in one piece Warren collapses on his couch knowing that he has just dodged a bullet.

If Daphne hadn’t intervened when she did Warren knows that he would be dead meat right now.

Warren enters the kitchen to brew a huge pot of coffee because he plans on staying awake for the foreseeable future because he knows that if he lets Cedric Otis into his mind again then he wont survive this time.

He also knows that he can no longer work for Apex Industries because he is completely emotionally and physically drained.

After 36 hours with no sleep Warrens eyelids say enough is enough and close.

He is now the mercy of the gods and thankfully for him Daphne gets to him first. Warren don’t be so hard on yourself because Cedric Otis is a forminable opponent with a heart full of black’

‘And Warren my dear boy you have a heart of gold and a power that Otis doesn’t know you possess’

‘So use your power along with some words of wisdom and you will defeat that prick ‘

For sixteen hours Warren wrestles with his sheets and thoughts and luckily Otis is preoccupied elsewhere.

Feeling refreshed and invigorated Warren now knows exactly what he needs to do.

That evil piece of shit Cedric Otis needs to die again.

And this time for good.

Warren is now confident that he has the tools and skill to defeat Otis and send him back to hell on a one way ticket.

Then he stumbles and almost falls when Otis once again enters his brain ‘Hello Warren have you missed me? Y’know Warren i kind of like living inside your head and i have no plans to move out anytime soon’

‘I have conquered you Warren so now we are one and the same’

‘Now we can travel the mystical highway as one devouring lost souls and broken hearts’

Warren tries to respond but the words wont come so he now has only one course of action left to him.

He concentrates with his last vestige of strength and soon the static electricity leaves the room and enters his body then he shoves all ten fingers under the ribs of Otis and fires.

Blue sparks and flame pierce Otis skin and his internal organs are cooked and electrified.

Otis collapses and is dead before he hits the ground but Warren knows that the evil prick has already died a few times this century and last so he stays vigilant and waits .

Four hours later an apparition leaves Otis body and begins to float away back to the safety of hell but Warren isn’t having any of that ‘Not this time motherfucker the world has had enough of your evil presence so your soul doesn’t deserve to live to fight another day’

And with that Warren points a finger skyward and shoots that soul into oblivion.

THE END.

Kingdom Of Embers

19 Friday Oct 2018

Posted by stevenjohnno in poems, stories

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

bad, black sabbath, evil, god, good, heaven, hell, the devil

Deep down way beyond middle earth amid the bowels of eternity lives a very unhappy being.

He is known by many names satan lucifer Beelzebub and the demon.

But to me he is simply known as the devil.

And he is pissed off because all is not well in hell.

 

Down there in the ultimate dungeon it should be hotter  than the biggest nuclear blast known to mankind and as dangerous as one thousand volcanoes.

But over the last few months the place has barely reached a boil.

And if the temperature drops any further than the devil might have to put on a coat and a pair of slippers.

Not a good look for the prince of darkness.

 

Normally the furnaces are fully stoked with the rotten souls and remains of the misguided just have drifted down from above.

But now with business being so slow maybe hell will actually freeze over.

The devil is a hard taskmaster and he rules his kingdom with an iron fist and a red hot trident and he used to oversee the burning of the bad 24/7.

Now the furnaces are only in operation for one shift a day so the devil will have to crunch the numbers and come to a decision.

But there is one thing for certain and that is that the devil wont go down without a fight.

 

As he sits in his office drinking a glass of black sambucca the devil can only imagine what the head honcho up in heaven is doing right now.

God is probably sitting on a fluffy cloud gloating to all that will listen.

He will be preaching to his followers telling them how good will always prosper over evil.

And how the world would  be a better place with prayer and compassion and all that mamby pamby stuff.

 

The devil is steaming even though the temperature is barely lukewarm and his face is a nasty shade of red it is almost purple.

He picks up his trident and waves it toward heaven with menace ‘Listen up Mr God and listen good because if I find out that you or any of your apostles have had anything to do with my current situation then you will feel my fury’

‘I will attack with fire and brimstone the like that you and your human friends have never seen before’

 

Up in heaven god is enjoying his day helping saint peter fix the pearly gates.

Business has been so good lately so they have really been taking a pounding.

God is trying to hold the gate steady so peter can do the repairs when a voice enters his mind.it is coming from that evil little fucker down in the basement.

He strokes his beard as he listens patiently before replying ‘Dear Mr Devil ,God here how have you been?’

‘I have been hearing on the grapevine that you have been having a little trouble down there’

‘And let me tell you right now that I have had nothing to do with your predicament perhaps if you were a better being instead of an egotisical asshole then maybe your fires would still be burning at full capacity’

‘So don’t you dare blame me because your kingdom has been reduced to embers so shut the fuck up and quit your bitching’

 

The devil is soaking in his not so hot tub as he listens to his nemesis deliver his sermon.

He has polished off the bottle of sambucca but it hasn’t improved his mood one iota.

And as soon as god stops talking the devil realises that he has placed the blame on the wrong reason.

He fires up his laptop and starts to engage with the incredible Mr Goggle and after an hour of research the devil has his answers.

Over the last decade or so modern medicine and new technologies has increased the lifespan of the human fuel significantly so the devil will have to find a way to reverse the trend or he will be out of a job.

Maybe the black plague could make a comeback or he could just become a politician.

Decisions decisions.

 

The devil knows deep down in his rotten heart that if hell is to survive into the new millennium then he will have to take matters into his own hands.

So he packs a few belongings in an old duffel bag and prepares to leave hell for the first time in centuries.

The devil needs a shitload of bad souls and he needs them now.

 

The arrives on terra firma via express elevator and steps out into the sunshine.

It is hot in sin city Nevada and the devil fits right in and immediately hones in on a few low lives and sends them on the road to hades.

But the devil knows that a few blackened hearts want do much to keep his fires burning.

He will need to kill on a much larger scale.

 

Up in heaven God is standing by the pearly gates welcoming a busload of new arrivals.

Business has never been as good and he is rushed off his feet.

Then he is handed a note by saint peter and it isn’t good news ‘The devil is on the move last seen in Las Vegas’

God peers down through the clouds and it doesn’t take him long to pin point the devil.

He might have taken on a human form but God would recognise that evil fucker anywhere.

He will need to be watched around the clock and if worse comes to worse he will send Jesus down to walk among his people.

Because God knows that although most people are good and decent a lot of them are easily led astray by an evil thought or their drug of choice.

 

As he wanders the earth the devil causes chaos wherever he goes.

In Africa he declares a twenty year drought while over in India and Bangladesh he raises the water level causing massive floods that put billions of lives at risk.

In North America the devil reignites the racial tension and soon the streets from New York over to California and down to Florida explode.

The devil is aware that most Americans possess a firearm so he leaves confident that the population will take care of the rest

 

Next stop is Asia where the devil destroys the rice crop in China Japan and in South and North Korea.

The earth has been knocked off its axis and the devil couldn’t be happier.

He knows that soon the have and the have nots will begin to fight the world over so he leaves for home satisfied with a job well done.

 

Up in heaven God can’t believe what he is seeing.

The devil has caused war hunger and disease the world over and God knows that if he doesn’t step in billions of lives will be in peril.

So he summons his son Jesus for a summit meeting.

 

Jesus arrives on a white horse with his robes flowing behind like angel wings and he enters the situation room where he is greeted by his father ‘Welcome my son thank you coming quick because the devil has been on a world tour and has caused more damage than even Black Sabbath could manage so I need you to return to earth and calm the waters and bring peace and tranquillity back to the land’

‘God dad you aren’t asking for much ,you do know that there will  never be peace on earth as long as human beings rule the planet?

‘Yes I know my son but we stand for goodness and the truth while the devil preaches badness and sin so I need you to go down there and walk with the people and show them that right will always defeat wrong ,can you do that for me?’

‘Sure thing father I am on my way’

 

Meanwhile down in hell the devil has returned to a hero’s welcome.

The furnaces are back burning 24/7 and hell is once again hotter than a dragons breath.

Since returning home two weeks ago he has been on a bender celebrating his success on bringing earth to its knees.

Now he is soaking in his hot tub nursing a hangover while watching his big ass TV.

It is almost 6 pm and the devil likes to watch the news on CNB to keep up with current events.

‘Good evening my name is Tabitha Talking Head welcome to CNB and tonight I bring you good news’

‘Earth is slowly coming back to its senses ,rain is falling over Africa while the floods in India and Bangladesh have receded and in more good news the rice crop in Asia has grown back in record time’

‘While the cities and towns all over America have returned to an uneasy peace there is still tension in the air but the shootings and murders has returned to the normal 1000 a day’

‘But viewers I have even better news for you because a mysterious figure in a white robe has been spotted all on every continent the world over’

‘People are saying that the earth is witnessing the second coming of Christ’

‘Meanwhile here is Bouncey Beach Ball with all the sport’

 

‘What what what’ the devil can’t quite get a grasp on what he is hearing and he jumps out of the hot tub so fast he trips over his tail almost impaling himself on his trident.

‘OK God so you want to play hardball ,well I can play hard with the best of them so listen up God and listen good. You and your meddling son Jesus can go and beep beep beep beep beep’

Sorry I had to beep out that last bit, there is no need for swearing and I want listen to it .

Fuck.

 

THE END

Well the men in white hats have won round one.

Will the devil calm down enough to win round two?

Well if you want to find out the answer to that question you will have to come back and read Part Two of this story so keep an eye out.

Rag Doll (From Hell)

24 Thursday Mar 2016

Posted by stevenjohnno in poems, stories, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

evil, rag doll, ragamuffin, wool

It is My young Daughters first Day at Kindergarten.

She is Five Years old and a happy little Girl.

But I am nervous as I wait for Her at the Bus Stop.

I hope that Cindy has had a good Day.

But She can be a little shy.

 

When the Bus comes to the Stop.

Cindy runs to Me with a Smile on Her Face.

‘Daddy School was so much fun”

‘And I made a special Friend’

 

That is when I notice the Rag Doll in Her Hand

It is a Ratty little thing.

About Ten Inches tall.

Made from Grey Wool and Cotton.

 

When I ask Cindy where did the Rag Doll come from.

She just shrugs Her Shoulders and says’I found it in

the Rubbish Bin.

 

Jesus I can imagine the Germs that ugly little thing is

carrying.

When We get Home it is going straight into the Washing

Machine.

 

 

As We walk Home Cindy tells Me that the Dolls Name is

Ragamuffin.

And She is the very best Friend in the World.

 

As We go inside I tell Cindy that Ragamuffin needs a wash.

So I grab that ugly Ball of Wool.

And that Rag Doll bites Me on the Finger.

 

I jump back in surprise.

Surely it was just My imagination?

And Cindy yells ‘Daddy stop playing with Ragamuffin’

‘She is Mine not Yours’

 

That Rag is laying on the Floor

Where I threw it.

And it is looking up at Me.

I am careful as I pick it up.

I go to the Laundry and toss it into the Machine.

Hopefully as the Washer goes through its Cycles

That ugly little Rag Doll will Drown.

 

When the Machine comes to a stop

I have a look inside.

And Ragamuffin looks like a Drowned Rat.

So I carefully pick it up again

And carry it out to the Clothes Line.

After I peg that thing out to Dry.

I start to walk away when I hear a Voice ‘I am going

to get You for that Motherfucker’

 

Am I hearing Voices?

I am sure that Ragamuffin just talked to Me.

I go back inside hoping that that little lump of Wool

will Bake in the Sun.

 

But then I change My Mind.

So I go back outside to the Clothes Line.

Grab Ragamuffin then walk over to the Wizz Bin

And I drop it in.

 

I feel sad for Cindy.

She has really grown attached to that Evil Doll

But I cant have My little Girl playing with a foul

Mouthed piece of Wool and Cotton.

I know that I have done the right thing

But I still feel rotten.

 

I go back inside to tell Cindy that Ragamuffin didn’t

survive the Wash.

And that She will need to find a new Best Friend.

 

I try to look Sad as I go to Cindy’s Room.

I knock on Her Door to deliver the Bad News.

And when I walk in.

There is Cindy playing with Ragamuffin.

 

What in the fuck.

How did Ragamuffin end up in Cindy’s Room?

I ask Her is everything alright?

Of course Daddy Ragamuffin and I are just playing

with My Tea Set”

‘We are the Best of Friends and We will be together forever”

But I know that this is One Friendship that I will have to sever.

 

Ragamuffin looks at Me with a smug look on its Face.

Like it is daring Me to make a scene.

It has no Mouth so has is it communicating?

Maybe it has locked onto another foul mouthed Doll named

Chucky

God give Me strength

I should be so lucky.

 

It is getting late.

And Cindy has fallen asleep on the Lounge.

Tomorrow is another School Day.

No way can I allow that evil lump of Wool to mix with a Bunch

of School Kids.

It would be a Bloody slaughter.

So Ragamuffin will have to disappear

If I am to save My Daughter.

 

So I carry Cindy off to Bed.

And I leave Ragamuffin laying on the Lounge Room Floor.

After I have read Cindy a Bedtime Story.

I tuck Her in for the Night.

And when I return to the Lounge Room

I get an awful fright.

 

Ragamuffin has done a runner.

 

A dangerous Rag Doll is now on the loose.

I look everywhere for that Woollen Ball of menace.

But it has escaped from My household.

I shiver.

But not from the Cold.

 

I am confident that Ragamuffin is no longer in the House.

So after I check in with Cindy.

I go off to Bed.

But I still have Goosebumps.

I know that I want be getting much Sleep.

Or maybe with One Eye open.

But then I start counting Sheep.

 

I must be having a Bad Dream.

I am struggling to Breathe.

It feels like My Mouth is full of Wool.

Then I hear a whisper.

‘Die Motherfucker Die”

Then I realise that Ragamuffin is laying on My Mouth

and Nose.

I am being smothered by a Rag Doll.

I start to fight back.

And I land some heavy blows.

 

But Ragamuffin is hanging on for grim Death.

Then I get a bit of a grip.

And a piece of Wool comes loose.

 

So I pull and pull and Ragamuffin begins to unravel.

And before long a pile of Wool is laying on the Floor.

So I scoop it all up.

And I carry that Evil Wool out to My Backyard.

Then I go to the Garden Shed.

And I grab Myself a Spade.

Then I dig a hole three feet deep.

And for that ugly evil pile of Wool.

It is tailor made.

 

In the Morning Cindy rushes out of Her Bedroom.

She cant find Ragamuffin anywhere.

I tell Her that maybe Ragamuffin is hiding under Her Bed.

Or is already waiting for Her on the School Bus.

So She better hurry and get ready for School.

I don’t dare tell Her the truth.

Or Her little Heart might crush.

 

I walk Cindy to the Bus Stop.

She is still fretting over Ragamuffin.

I Kiss Her Goodbye.

And She climbs on board the Bus.

 

Then I hear a squeal.

A squeal of delight.

And as the School Bus pulls away.

I see Cindy running towards the back of the Bus.

She stands at the rear Window smiling and waving

at Me.

 

Then She holds up something.

And I cant believe My Eyes.

It is that ugly evil lump of Wool

Ragamuffin.

Giving Me a wicked grin.

 

OK Ragamuffin so You want a fight?

You might of won round one

But bring on round two.

 

Part Two coming soon.

Rag Doll ( Back from the Grave)

 

 

Evil Incorporated

17 Friday Oct 2014

Posted by stevenjohnno in poems, stories

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

evil, gun for hire, jitman

I run a small business

A evil little business

My business is murder

I am a gun for hire

No job is to big or too small

What ever the problem is you

I can take care of it  all

So pick up the phone

And give me a call

I started this business about

twenty five years ago

I had a little problem,a problem

that needed to be fixed

That problem is no longer

around.

My problem disappeared

without a sound

Teach him for getting on my

bad side

You mess with evil,there is

nowhere to hide.

So I got to thinking

I know I am not the only

person with a problem

Other people out there have

problems

Problems that need to be

solved.

So I started leaving my business

card all around the city

On every corner of every street

let me get to the nitty gritty

If you find one of my cards

read the card it is not hard,then call

If I am not busy I will call back right

away.

So if you have the money,your

situation is about to be a situation

no more

So read the funeral notices in a few

days,and look for your problems name

You will see that Evil Incorporated,doesn’t

mess around and play games

So if you are happy with your problem

was solved.put out the word,and give

my company some well earned business

Cause taking care of business,is what

Evil Incorporated is all about

I am home cleaning my weapons

Sharpening all my knives

So find my card,it is not hard

Call my number,and I will do a

number.

I love to rub out freaking lives

Evil Incorporated

Our motto is death

So remember you could be next

Sweet dreams.

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