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Tag Archives: lonliness

The Well

07 Saturday Jul 2018

Posted by stevenjohnno in poems, stories

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Tags

a well, anger, bullying, crazy, lonliness, murder, pain

A dark cloud has settled over rural Montana and it is here to stay

The dark cloud is named Hattie Hendricks,a mean spinster who has been teaching English at her local school for the last ten years.

 

Hattie isn’t very well liked mainly because she has the social graces of a black mamba with the personality and looks of a bulldog.

Her fellow teachers loathe her with a passion while the student body treat her with contempt.

And being over six foot tall and weighing over 200 pounds Hattie is a formidable figure.

You better buy yourself a raincoat because the shit is about to hit the fan.

 

It is almost midnight and Hattie is at home watching TV while devouring a large whiskey.

She is in a foul mood because today because another student complained about her teaching methods and lack of hygiene.

That makes five complaints in less then a year  and Hattie knows that she is skating on thin ice.

One more complaint and she will be suspended from teaching

Hattie scowls to herself and goes into the kitchen to wash out the whiskey glass and while standing at the sink she looks out into the far corner of her backyard where behind an old shed sits a well.

One way or another her tormentors will pay

 

After school the next day is walking to her car when she is confronted by Philipa Cates the student who made the latest complaint about her ‘Hey Miss Hendricks are you going home to have a shower? Because i think you should,you smell Miss Hendricks and you are a bad teacher,so why don’t you get the fuck away from my school’

 

Hattie stares down at Philipa and her blood begins to boil but she composes herself’I am sorry you feel that say Philipa i am sure that we can come to an understanding in the principals office tomorrow’

As Hattie talks she inches closer to her tormentor while she scans the car park to see if any one is lurking about.

And before Philipa knows what is happening she is punched hard in the face and bundled into her teachers car.

 

Philipa wakes to find herself gagged with duct tape and tied to a chair.

It isn’t an electric chair but it might as well because for Philipa Cates there will be no escape.

She struggles as hard as she can but Philipa soon ties and starts to cry.

 

‘Hello Philipa welcome back to the land of the living,you wont be here long so make the best of it while it lasts’

‘Y’know you really shouldn’t have reported me to the principal and called me all of those nasty names’

Those are you final words that Philipa will ever hear because Hattie is brandishing a set of garden shears.

And with a snip snip here and a snip snip there Philipa is cut into manageable pieces taken outside under the cover of darkness and tossed down the well.

 

As Hattie listens for the body to hit the bottom her mind wanders back to when she was in 3rd Grade

She was enjoying her lunch break sitting by herself when she notices the school walking toward her.

Betty Devereaux is a fifth grader with a mean streak and an acid tongue.

She gives Hattie both barrels and a whole lot more,Hattie pretends not to hear and scurries away to hide in the bathroom.

But Betty follows her into the bathroom and the abuse and name calling continues.

She peers over the cubicle wall looking down at her victim’What are you hiding for you fat ugly pig? But i have to admit that if i was as ugly as you i would be hiding as well’

 

Hattie looks up at Betty Devereaux with a creepy little smile on her face.

Betty notices the look on Hatties and tries to make a hasty retreat but Hattie is way too fast and she grabs Betty by her long blond hair and pulls her into her cubicle

She slams Betty’s head repeatedly against the toilet bowl until all resistance stops then she shoves Betty’s head into the water and leaves her to drown.

 

Hattie doesn’t get much sleep that night half expecting the police to come knocking on her door but nothing happens.

And at school the next day the principal calls an assembly and tells all the teachers and students about the attack on Betty’The police will be here shortly to interview anyone who might have seen the attack on Betty

‘I am sorry to say that Betty is currently in a coma so please lets all join hands and pray for Betty’

The police spend all day interviewing everyone who was on campus that day and when it is Hattie’s turn she smiles sweetly and tells the cops that she has no idea what happened to poor Betty

To this day Betty Devereaux still lies in a coma.

 

Eight years later Hattie starts dating a local lad named Brett Hyland and after a few weeks she invites him home to meet her parents.

After a great meal the foursome retire to the living room for a drink and some pleasant conversation,then Hatties mother spoils the occasion’It is so nice to meet you Brett do you know that you are Hattie’s first boyfriend’

‘We know that Hattie isn’t the best looking girl in town and she would be better off if she lost a few pounds’

Hattie listens as her mother prattles on,how can her own mother say all those nasty things about her,and how can her father just sit there without defending her?

Isn’t blood supposed to be thicker then water?

Hattie excuses herself and goes into the kitchen where she rummages through a drawer and picks out a sharp knife.

 

Her parents are chatting pleasantly with Brett when she returns to the living room.

‘Hello dear i was just telling Brett how me and your father how we are hoping that you do something about your weight and maybe get your hair styled’

Hattie walks behind her mother and puts her hand on her mothers shoulder’Thanks for those kind words Mom you really are an inspiration’

Then Hattie tilts her mothers head back and slices her neck from ear to ear and before her father can react she opens him up as well

Brett screams ‘What in the fuck have you done Hattie?His eyes look over to the front door’I wouldn’t bothering to run Brett just take your medicine like a man,i promise to make it quick’

Brett realising that he hasn’t much of a choice makes a run for it but he doesn’t get very far before Hattie plunges the knife into his back killing him instantly.

 

Hattie opens the back door and one by one she drags the bodies of her parents and her boy friend out onto the patio then down to the far corner of the backyard.

Then without any preambles she drops the bodies down the well.

Hattie spends the following two weeks cleaning up her parents house until it shines

Once she is satisfied that she has covered her tracks she rents out the house jumps into her fathers beat up old chevy and hits the road.

 

Hattie settles down in Sioux City and begins to rebuild her life.

She enrols in college to further her studies and four years later she gains her diploma as an English teacher.

She gets a job at the local school and despite a few incidents she is happy.

But lately a little voice has begun to talk in Hattie’s ear and a few weeks later she has packed her bags and catches a train back home to Buttholeville Montana.

 

She gets a cab in the realtor that has been looking after her parents house and is told by the agent,a Miss Higgons that the house has stood empty for the last year after the last tenants left after saying they were hearing strange noises and screams.

Hattie is given the keys and moves back into her childhood home.

 

After unpacking her bags Hattie goes downstairs and makes herself a cup of coffee then she goes outside and wanders down to the well’Hello mom and dad i am home,have you missed me?’

Hattie spends the following weeks settling in and keeping a low profile,she doesn’t want her return to be noticed.

But it doesn’t take long before the word spreads the Hattie Hendricks is back in town

 

After doing some housework Hattie goes to make some lunch when she realises that she doesn’t have any supplies in the house so she picks up her keys and walks to the local supermarket.

Hattie is pushing her trolley down aisle three when a little voice pipes up behind her ‘Hello is your name Hattie ? Because my mom says that you are fat and ugly and smell like a dead fish and i can see that she is right’

Hattie glares down at a little boy with snot running from his nose ‘Hello what is your name young fellow?”My name Joey Stanton and i think you stink’

‘Why that isn’t a nice thing to say young fellow’Hattie says as she inches closer to the little turd who cant keep his mouth shut.

Then when the coast is clear she pounces and grabs Joey by his left arm and twists and twists until she feels his bones snap’There you go Joey that will teach you not to say nasty words,now run off and tell your mom that i said hello.

Hattie abandons her trolley and walks back towards her house while Joey Stanton runs screaming to his mother over in the produce department.

 

At home Hattie runs outside and down to the well’Why do people have to be such assholes?All i wanted to do was come home and lead a peaceful life without any shit but other people just wont leave me alone’

‘I did a bad thing mom and dad and i think the police will be here soon and maybe Joey Stanton’s mother will come along for the ride’

‘Well i am telling you now mom and dad that i wont go down without a fight,no siree’

 

And sure enough an hour later Sheriff Jones knocks on Hattie’s front door with Mrs Stanton right behind him’I am telling you Sheriff she is a crazy bitch’

‘Now now Mary lets not jump to conclusions,lets just wait and hear what she has to say’

After knocking a few more times the Sheriff and Mary Stanton open the side gate and go around to the backyard to find Hattie Hendricks with her head down a well.

‘Sheriff Jones takes charge’Hattie i am the Sheriff and this is Mrs Stanton,i just have a few questions about your whereabouts this morning’

Why Sheriff i have been here all morning,i have just moved back to town after a few years away’Why you lying fucking bitch,you broke my little Joey’s arm at the market with your bare hands’

Sorry Mrs Stanton but i haven’t left the house your son must have me confused with someone else’

Hattie hasn’t moved an inch from the well,she wants her mom and dad to hear how brave she is’You can’t come into my yard accusing me of something i didn’t do’

‘Why don’t you both just go home and leave me alone’

 

‘Sorry Miss Hendricks but i cant do that i need to ask you a few questions and clear up this situation’

Hattie doesn’t reply and Sheriff Jones and Mrs Stanton walk closer and closer until they are just a few feet away.

Then she grabs a pitchfork that she had hidden behind her back and runs it through the Sheriff’s stomach and out the other side

Mrs Stanton just stands there with her mouth opening and closing like a goldfish in a bowl,Hattie slams her head against the side of the well until her brain is expose

‘Mom and dad i am pleased t announce that you will soon have some company’ Then she grabs Mrs Stanton by her ankles and throws her down the well.

Sheriff Jones is still breathing when Hattie drags him to the well and with a bit of effort throws him in.

 

Six hours later at the Stanton household Joey is sitting on his bed holding the cast on his arm wondering why his mommy hasn’t come home yet.

She said that she was going to the crazy women’s house with the sheriff and that she wouldn’t be long but that was hours ago and Joey is getting worried.

So without telling his daddy who is asleep upstairs he sneaks outside and rides his bike to the weird lady’s house.

 

It is just about dinner time when he arrives and noticing the side gate open he walks around the back.

The lady who broke his arm is leaning against a well talking to herself’What have you done to my Mommy?

Hattie spins around’Why if it isn’t little Joey Stanton,do you want to see your Mommy Joey? Because i know where she is’

Joey rushes forward’You do? Tell me please where is she?

‘Why Joey she is right here down in the well’

Joey doesn’t know why his Mommy would be down a well but he walks closer

‘Come on Joey i want hurt you i think your Mommy needs your help’

 

Down in the well Sheriff Jones has been listening to every word,he is barely alive and with the last of his strength he unbuckles his holster and pulls out his service weapon and fires.

BANG Joey is shocked by the noise and also by a small red hole that has appeared in the middle of the crazy woman’s forehead.

Hattie sways back and forth on her feet and before she falls to the ground Joey goes behind her and with a shove Hattie disappears down the well.

‘Go to to hell you crazy fucking bitch’

 

 

THE END

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Suicide Letter

28 Sunday Feb 2016

Posted by stevenjohnno in poems, stories, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

anxiety, depression, lonliness, suicide, suicide letter

This is just a Story.

 

This is My Suicide Letter.

I have been dealt My final  Card.

They say Life wasn’t meant to be easy.

But why does it have to be so fucking hard?

 

I was Born in the Shit.

In My Teens I was still in the Shit.

My Twenties saw Me deep in the Shit.

My Thirties saw Me Swimming in a River of Shit.

In My Forties I stopped Swimming I just started to Float.

Now in My Fifties am I am being weighed down by a Shit

filled heavy Overcoat.

 

I am tired of feeling weighed down.

Getting sucked down into the Muck.

But at the same time I don’t give a damn.

I really couldn’t give a Fuck.

 

But I don’t want to go out that way.

I want to go on My terms.

Maybe I will fall into a Vat of hot Oil.

Or get Eaten Alive.

By Ten Thousand Blood sucking Worms.

 

When I think back to My Teenage Years.

Well I really try not to.

Cause bad Memories bring on the Tears.

I think about all of the Abuse that I went through.

Verbal Abuse Physical Abuse and Sexual Abuse.

 

The Verbal was being called a lot of nasty Names.

Pretty Boy Girly Boy and a lot of others that I wont mention.

Constantly being told that I was nothing but a piece of Shit.

But to My Tormentors it was just a Game.

They didn’t care how much the Name calling hurt.

But the Words went real deep.

That is when I first started to think about  going on a

permanent Sleep.

 

The Physical Abuse consisted of being pushed down a Dozen

Stairs A Toe Broken by a Mallet Spat on  Having My Hair pulled

Punched Poked and Prodded and Dead Legs

I was given so many Dead Legs that I virtually had a permanent

Limp.

I should of fought back but I am such a Fucking Wimp.

 

The Sexual Abuse was being tied to a Tree.

Having My Pants pulled down.

And then I was Urinated and Ejaculated upon.

Then I was forced to do some nasty Acts.

But I am telling You.

It was never Consesual

I was the innocent Victim

I committed no Crime.

 

So why am I hear writing this last Letter?

I didn’t do anything wrong.

But I carry around a lot of Mental Scars.

I try to forget the past but I cant

Why am I so weak?

Why cant I be strong?

 

My Pen is writing these Words.

Letter by letter they fill the Page.

But as the Words form a Sentence and then a Paragraph

I am filled with a silent Rage.

 

I should have said a gentle Rage.

Because I am Timid I wouldn’t hurt a Fly.

But when I think of all the Crap I went through.

I only have one question.

Why?

 

Why was I so mistreated?

Why was I treated like a Dog?

No.A Dog would of been treated better.

That is one of the reasons why I am writing this Letter.

 

People say that you shouldn’t live in the past.

But that is where your memories take you.

You don’t know the future.

So your Brain goes in a backwards direction.

And dredges up things that are best forgotten.

And I remember why My Life is so Fucking Rotten

 

But enough of the Bad thoughts.

Lets talk about Death.

I think about it all of the time.

Every Second that I am Alive.

I wish that I was Dead.

The dark thoughts have been with Me for Years.

And are constantly fed.

 

From an early age Alcohol was My only Friend.

I couldn’t understand was I wasn’t more popular.

It was like I had an ugly Birthmark all over My Face.

So I Drank and Drank to go to a happier place.

 

I tried to be friendly.

But I was always pushed aside like a piece of Garbage.

I tried to keep a Smile on My Face.

But it was only a thin Veneer.

That is when I started to think

Lets end it all right here.

 

But I was weak and Spineless

A piece of Shit would be tougher then Me.

I know that My Pretty Boy Face.

Didn’t do Me any favours.

I was always Bruised Bloodied and Sore.

So at Fourteen I started to think.

Why am I even Alive anymore?

 

Over the Years People have told Me to Fight back.

But you are who you are.

You cant suddenly be a different Person.

You know a Leopard cant change its Spots.

And I have been good at connecting the dots.

 

I have never been a good connector.

I always end up by Myself.

I am like an old can of Baked Beans.

Picked up then put back on the shelf.

 

But enough of all the talking.

It is now time for action.

So I go to the Kitchen and open the Cutlery Drawer.

And a Carving Knife holds a Fatal attraction.

But before I put the Knife through its paces.

I close My Eyes.

And I say goodbye to my Family and Friends

 

I shouldn’t say Friends

Because I haven’t really  got any.

They are all to busy living their Lives

With their Wives or Girlfriends.

They don’t need or want to hang with Me.

But I understand because I am bad company.

 

I look out of the Kitchen Window.

And the Rain is pouring down.

Black Clouds fill the Sky.

A Black Cloud has been with Me My whole Life.

And a Black Cloud will be with Me when I Die.

 

I grab hold of the Knife.

And I stand naked in front of the Mirror.

And I proceed to open up My face.

Right down to the Bone.

Good I hate My fucking Face.

It is good to see it gone.

 

I just stand there watching My Blood flow away.

And after about Five Minutes I start to wobble

and sway.

 

The last thing I remember

Is Myself laying on the Floor.

And thinking.

FUCK OFF PEOPLE GET OUT OF MY FUCKING WAY.

 

That’s it.

My Life is finally over.

I have nothing else to say.

 

 

Ego Is A Muscle (Mind Gym)

05 Friday Feb 2016

Posted by stevenjohnno in poems, stories

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

ego, facebook, lonliness, public speaking, self esteem

Your Ego is a Muscle.

If you want to keep it in shape.

You have to work on it.

 

But your Ego is a fragile Muscle.

But don’t overdo it.

Just take it nice and slow.

Relax go at it nice and easy.

Close your Eyes and go with the flow.

 

But don’t work on your Ego too much.

Or it will get out of control.

And someone with a huge Ego is very hard to take.

I can only handle them in small doses.

People with huge Egos come across as insecure and fake.

 

Jenny Donahue is a Mousey young Women.

She is lonely and still Single.

She wants desperately to get off Her Lounge Chair.

And get out and mingle.

But She is afraid of the big wide world.

She wants a Boyfriend to Love and hold.

And maybe down the Road there will be a Diamond Ring.

 

Jenny goes off to work everyday.

Then She drives Home all alone.

She sits down in front of the TV with a cup of Coffee.

But His Eyes keep drifting to Her Mobile Phone.

She just wants somebody to give Her a call.

And give Her Ego a boost.

But just like an Old Mother Hen.

She settles down to roost.

 

The next day ay work Jenny just goes through the Motions.

Sitting in front of Her Computer.

Jenny needs a kick start to Her confidence.

She needs someone to Reboot Her.

 

So once again Jenny goes Home all alone.

She unwinds and makes Herself a snack.

Her Eyes drift to Her Phone.

But once again it doesn’t ring or vibrate.

Jenny needs a helping Hand.

Before it is too late.

 

Then She starts up Her Laptop.

And connects to the Internet.

She visits a few sites.

And has a little look.

She is just about to Shutdown.

When She decides to visit Facebook.

 

After looking at what Her non existant Friends are up to.

Her Eyes are drawn to an Advertisement for an App called

Mind Gym.

It promises to ‘Give your Ego and Self Esteem a tweek’

;All you have to do is Seek’.

 

So Jenny downloads the App to Her Phone.

And She places Her Headphones to Her Ears.

Then She lays down for a nap.

So while Jenny is asleep.

The App goes to work.

Her Brain is being rewired

Her Ego is now pumped and bigger.

And Her Self Esteem has been boosted

The Mind Gym App has pulled the Self Confidence trigger.

 

Jenny wakes up feeling refreshed.

It is like She is a new Person.

She takes Her time applying Her Makeup.

Before She couldn’t give a Shit.

Now She wants to look Her best.

As She brushes and combs Her Hair.

Jenny decides that She will go new Clothes shopping

Then She sees Her reflection in the Mirror.

She thinks it is time to do some Bar hopping.

 

Thanks to the Mind Gym App.

Jenny now feels that She do anything and go anywhere.

She feels  like a Movie Star.

She has noticed all of the Males staring.

Jenny was once an under achiever.

But with Her Ego back to normal.

She is now a true believer.

 

 

On the other side of the World.

Lives a Forty year old Male.

Barry Richards is shitting Bricks.

He is as nervous as Hell.

He has just been promoted to the Companies Management

Team.

And he has to chair the first meeting.

And we all know what that means .

Public Speaking.

 

On the Night before the Meeting.

Barry is at Home having a Beer.

All He can think about is the prospect of talking

in front of Thirty People.

It is driving Barry crazy.

He would rather be impaled on a Church Steeple.

 

Barry and talking don’t go together.

He is afraid that he will say the wrong thing.

And besides He would rather just listen.

When Barry is nervous He starts to Stammer and Stutter.

And He breaks out in a sweat.

His Skin gets all wet and glistens.

Barry Richards is a nervous wreck.

 

Barry knows that He is lacking in confidence.

And that His Ego is a bit down.

And it needs a boost.

And His Self Esteem is in need of a jump start.

But He doesn’t want to put the Horse before the Cart.

 

So just like Jenny he goes onto the Internet.

Mr Google will have all the answers.

But first Barry goes to Facebook.

And he notices the Mind Gym App.

Barry starts to get really excited.

He is tired of feeling like Crap.

 

And just like Jenny before Him.

He plugs His Earphones into His Phone.

Then He has a Lay down.

And the App does its thing.

As He sleeps Barry’s Eyelids are jumping.

He is starting to feel confident.

All of Barry’s Ego Muscles are pumping.

He is having an Ego workout while He is Horizontal.

Barry’s Ego and Self Esteem are now Full Frontal.

 

It goes without saying that Barry’s Presentation

went off without a hitch.

He talked and talked about Sales growth now and looking

forward.

He says that the Company’s future looks bright.

And that it is in good hands.

 

The People in attendance all got up and applauded.

All of Barry’s worrying was all for nothing.

He now feels like He has been reborn.

His Ego has been Wined and Dined.

And His Self Esteem has been refined.

 

A low Ego and Self Esteem can be a real hassle.

So if you know somebody who might be lonely

and feeling a bit left out.

Just realise that not everybody is a People Person.

 

But they are still a Person.

Not a lump of Wood.

So just give them a Smile and some conversation.

If you could.

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