Tag Archives: love

I Wish

03 Friday Mar 2017

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I wish that i was tall and handsome

But alas i am short and stubby.

People in the streets call me fat.

But y’know i am only slightly chubby.

 

I wish that i was more out going

Instead of being an over sensitive guy

And even though i know the answer

I still ask myself the question Why?

 

I wish that i was a higher power

Than i could cure all diseases.

Than the people that i love and cherish

Will no longer have to die.

My eyes would shine and sparkle with happiness

And no have to cry.

 

I wish that my mother and father stop arguing

And just talk to one another.

Because they did love each other once upon a time.

They live in the same house just not together.

The house is surrounded by very stormy weather

 

I wish that the earth was flat.

Than i could push all the bad people over the edge

I would listen to them screaming all the way down

I know it is wrong but i think i would enjoy that sound

 

I wish that i was a prize fighter

Fighting for the heavyweight title

Instead of being a world champion wimp

But i suppose it could be worse.

I could wake up as the pulp fiction gimp

 

I wish that people of different races and religion

Could all just be at peace.

But all they do is fight because of creed and different

coloured skin.

But we are all human beings of the same kin

 

I wish that i could see things in black and white

Because sometimes distorts the starkness

And though though i enjoy the light

I also welcome the darkness

 

I wish that my pen would stop moving around the paper

But it likes to form words

But sometimes the words aren’t quite right

And i need to take a rest

But still my pen continues to write

It can sometimes be a real pest

 

I wish that i was more popular

Than i could hang with all the cool people

I could bask in the limelight

And smell the decadence and wealth

But at the same time i like to live behind the curtain

of stealth.

 

I wish that there were no more wars

But mankind has been fighting each other

Ever since they started to live in caves

It is now 2017 so  people lay down your weapons

And start to fucking behave

 

I wish that i was famous

My face would grace the cover of all the magazines

I could be a celebrity for no particular reason

Just like that family of Kardashians

I could have my own television series

For way too many seasons

 

I wish that a had a pet

A cat or maybe a dog

Than i would have to be a responsible adult

If i owned a dog i would have to feed it take it for walks

and pay huge bills at the vet

So on second thought i don’t really want a pet

 

I wish that i was a man of mystery

But i am just your average joe

I have a normal job and live in an ordinary house

I mow the lawn and take out the trash

Just like everybody else

And they is the way that i like it

I wouldn’t change not even a bit

 

Except maybe …..

 

What do you wish for?

Go ahead and make a wish

You never know it might come true

But it more than likely wont

Just close your eyes and make a wish

But don’t say it out loud

Keep it to yourself

Wish

 

 

THE END

 

My Favourite New Addiction

12 Saturday Nov 2016

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This is a story about addictions whether good or bad

both physical and emotional.

The first that i saw you my heart almost exploded from

my chest.

I couldn’t think straight and my palms were all moist and sweaty.

 

I first i thought that i was coming down with something.

But than i realised all that i had was a bad dose of that thing

called love.

I tried to shake it off.

But it really had a hold on me.

I don’t know  who you are or what your name is.

But sparks are exploding and colliding deep in my brain.

Causing a whole lot of pain and friction.

You are now officially my favourite new addiction.

 

I walk around in a daze feeling like i have been hit by a sledgehammer

and a marshmallow at the same time.

My heart is beating at a very fast rate pitter patter pitter patter.

I am finding it hard to think and breathe at the same time.

God i can barely function.

I wander around like a zombie trying to keep it all together.

I am riding a roller coaster in very stormy weather.

 

The second time that i saw you i came out in hives.

You were coming out of the movies looking all cool and sexy

Your hair was flowing in the breeze and your lip stick shone

a bright cherry red.

You are the most beautiful girl in the universe.

Our eyes make contact and the world spun off its axis.

You don’t seem to notice and keep on walking.

Maybe i should forget all about love and take up stalking.

 

If i remember correctly my first addiction started when i was

fourteen

Puberty hit  me hard and i discovered the joy of masterbation

I didn’t realise that playing with your penis could feel so good.

I used to go into my room pull my pants down and go for it.

I would sometimes go into my room about six or seven times a day.

A few months later a local girl took me into the bushes and she taught

me all about sex.

 

My second and third addictions were smoking and drinking.

I was sixteen at the time and i fell to the temptation of peer group

pressure.

I took my first drag on a cigarette and had my first mouthful of beer.

The cigarette made me sick and the beer left me feeling light headed

and drunk.

But i didn’t care i kept going back for more and more.

Another smoke behind the basketball courts and a beer behind the

garden shed.

Two more addictions have gone straight to my head

 

While i was smoking and drinking and fooling around with girls.

I used to listen to my favourite music which was hard rock.

I used to play air guitar and sing very very bad.

 

I am now eighteen and i am laying on my bed naked listening to my

music and thinking about you my favourite new addiction.

I can smell your smell and remember the way your butt moved when

you walk.

How the sun dances through your hair and how my world lights up

when you smile.

But what i really want is to taste your taste

I want our lips to be sealed together forever

To be together until the twelveth of never.

 

As i think about you i start to play with myself and smoke a cigarette

and drink a glass of beer.

Addictions one two and three.

Nicotine and alcohol have part of my life for three years now.

Like two destructive friends they hang around me causing all kinds

of havoc and false emotions

My heart is still beating like a runaway locomotion.

 

All i can think about is you my favourite new addiction

For five months i have wanders the streets trying to find you

Will we ever meet?

Or are we destined to be like two ships passing in the night.

Hopefully the two ships will have a small collision.

And my lonely heart can send out an SOS

Than the harbour master will give us safe passage.

Will we sail to a deserted island full of palm trees coconuts

surrounded by pristine white sand

Or will i continue to fly around in circles and never land.

 

Maybe one day i will finally get to know your name

I will nuzzle your ear and smell your smell

And run my fingers through your hair and taste your taste

My favourite new addiction is almost within my grasp.

You will be the needle that fills me with euphoria

The bullet in the head that puts me to sleep

You can be the razor blade to my wrist

My one and only blood red mist.

 

 

I cant stop thinking about you my favourite new addiction

When i get out i will walk the streets seeking you out.

And when i find you i will once again take up my favourite

pastime stalking.

 

You are the reason why i am stuck behind these prison walls.

All i wanted to do was tell you that we will be together forever

But you kept on pushing me away.

Why couldn’t you be nice and just talk to me so we could maybe

have become friends?

But no you had to call the police and tell them that i wouldn’t leave you

alone.

How could i leave you alone when we are soulmates?

Now you have turned my addiction into a whole lot of hate.

 

Oh by the way since i have been in prison i have got myself another

favourite new addiction.

My body is covered in black ink tattoo’s .

I started with one on my arm but i couldn’t stop and now i am covered from

head to toe in prison issue ink

I lay in my cell all day with nothing much to do.

 

So my mind always goes back to thinking about you my former favourite

new addiction

I cant wait till the day when i am finally released

Will i walk the streets an angry man

Or will i finally find some peace/

The Goats & The Pop Tart Princess (Part Two)

04 Sunday Sep 2016

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In Part One of this story i told you about a princess that lives

up Cessnock way.

She is princess Tanya AKA The pop tart princess.

 

Tanya is called the pop tart princess because she has a fondness

for sugar and well pop tarts.

Tanya believes that pop tarts and sugar are part of a food group.

And princess Tanya has an even greater fondness.

 

One day she heard a scared bleat coming from the scrub near her

place.

She investigated and discovered a goat cowering and frightened.

Hiding from her cruel master.

 

Princess Tanya took the abused goat home.

And she gave that goat all of her love and affection.

She fed that goat and looked after it 24/7.

The goat and the pop tart princess were soon inseparable.

After about a month the goat and has begun to settle.

The pop tart princess gave the goat a big hug.

And named her Gretel.

Is this a fairy tale ?

Will they live happily ever after?

 

Part Two

Tanya the pop tart princess isn’t a real princess you know.

Her parents aren’t the king and queen of a nation.

And her family doesn’t live in a castle.

 

Tanya is a princess in another way.

With little fuss she goes about feeding her collection of cats and dogs

And of course the latest addition Gretel the goat.

All of the animals look up at her in wonder.

They know that they are in a special place.

As they gobble down their food they say a little prayer and a God bless.

Because to them Tanya is a real princess.

 

Early the next morning Tanya is having a breakfast of a dozen pop tarts

and a bowl of sugar lol

And smoking a cigarette as the sun begins to rise.

With a last bite and a final puff she goes out to check on her four legged

friends.

She notices that Gretel has a swollen belly.

So she is straight on the phone to the vet.

The pop tart princess would die if anything happened to her new pet.

 

But Tanya knows that she is being silly

There is nothing wrong with Gretel.

She is pregnant of course.

The vet arrives and he soon confirms Tanya’s prognosis.

And there is an added bonus.

Gretel isnt only pregnant not only with one kid

She is having twins.

Princess Tanya’s heart melts and fills with joy.

She is going to be a grandmother of a girl and a boy.

 

The pop tart princess celebrates with a tasty sweet treat.

Then she starts to prepare for the birth.

Maybe she can convert the spare room into a nursery?

And paint it pink and blue.

But Goats dont belong inside a house

Gretel would probably eat everything but the kitchen sink

Plus goats exactly known for their table manners

No Gretel will be comfortable enough in her enclosure out

near the garden shed.

It has been a long day so Tanya smokes one last cigarette

And toddles off to bed.

 

A few months later and the big day is here.

Gretel is ready to give birth.

She is having bad contractions and bleats out in pain.

Princess Tanya whispers words of encouragement

And Gretel responds with an almighty push.

A tiny head emerges followed by a slimy little body.

And a tiny female kid goat slides onto the straw.

Five minutes later and her twin brother joins her in this world.

Gretel the dutiful mother smiles and licks her offspring clean

And princess Tanya is happier than she has ever been.

 

The two kid goats are named Lola and Zephr

And they light up Tanya’s life

She cares for them like they are her own children.

She would do anything for her goats

Than mother nature hands Tanya a curse

And princess Tanya’s life takes a turn for the worse.

 

She is playing with her goats in the backyard.

When she notices that little Zephr has gone missing

He must have found a way through the back fence.

Princess Tanya calls out yelling his name.

But from Zephr there is no sound.

Maybe the council ranger has mistaken Zephr as a dog

And has taken him to the  local pound?

 

But deep down in her heart princess Tanya knows that Zephr

isn’t coming home.

After the yard and surrounds with no success.

Zephr is finally located out the back near his enclosure.

And there isn’t any good news.

He is laying on the ground and he isn’t breathing.

On closer inspection it looks like Zephr has been bitten by a

snake.

Princess Tanya cries a river as her heart begins to break.

 

The following days and weeks are nothing but a blur.

Princess Tanya is barely functioning.

She is living her life on auto pilot.

Gretel and Lola dont understand what is happening.

Why doesn’t Zephr answer their calls?

They run up and down the fence bleating for him to come home.

Gretel frets for her son while Lola really misses her twin brother

Zephr was an original a one of a kind.

And there will never be another.

 

Eventually life goes back to some sort of normal.

Princess Tanya gets her weekly delivery of a pallet of pop tarts

In a dozen different flavours.

And in the last few weeks or so a mystery benefactor

Has been leaving assorted vegetables and greens out near the front

fence.

Maybe the benefactor is a modern day Robin Hood?

Who takes from the greengrocer and gives to the good

 

Princess Tanya is out in the sun with her goats.

And there has been an addition to her family.

Princess Tanya has adopted another goat.

A little rascal she has named Alfie.

And it looks like Gretel’s belly has a little swell.

And maybe little Lola as well.

 

Than the screen door slams shut

And Tanya’s cattle dog Zahli and her cat Otis come out to join the

party.

Princess Tanya gives all of her animals a great big hug.

In Tanya’s house love is all that you need.

Than she gathers her animals up nice and close and takes a selfie.

Princess Tanya might be money poor.

But in her heart she is very wealthy.

 

 

THE END.

Pistol Packing Nun

03 Friday Jun 2016

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Sister Carmel is a Twenty Eight Year old  Catholic Nun

And since taking Her Vows back in 2008

She has served Her Church and Community  with dignity

and Compassion.

Everwhere She goes She gives Her Rosary a gentle rub

And She says a little Prayer.

But Sister Carmel is very Nervous

Her Eyes are going everywhere.

 

Last Week She was accosted and threatened by a group

of Thugs.

While She was out and about helping the Needy.

She still cant believe that it happened.

She is a Catholic Nun.

She doesn’t carry anything of any Value.

One of the Thugs pulled out a Knife.

And threatened Sister Carmels Life.

 

But then the Thugs all have a laugh and go on their way.

But they cant resist a parting gesture.

The One with the Knife gives Sister Carmel a nasty little Cut

And Blood starts flowing down her cheek.

The Thugs took off Hi Fiving with a Foul Mouth Banter.

Sister Carmel runs in the opposite direction in a Habit

flowing Canter.

 

Sister Carmels Knees are knocking when She arrives back

at the Church.

She knows that She knows that She is in need of protection.

Maybe a Bodyguard.

Like in that Movie with Whitney Houston.

But She knows that She cant afford that.

She needs something cheap and handy.

So She will get Herself a Gun.

And become a Pistol Packing Nun.

 

So a few Days later She slips out of Church.

Wearing plain Street Clothes.

No One will ever know that She is a Nun.

With a $100 that Her Mother sent Her.

She hopes to Buy a Compact Pistol.

So She can feel Safe and Sound.

 

In fact Sister Carmel is no Stranger to Guns

Back on the Farm in Montana She was something of an Annie

Oakley.

She can hit a Target from Fifty Yards.

And a Deer from even further.

But now living in New York City

There is only One question.

Luger Glock or a Smith&Wesson?

 

It doesn’t take Her long to find a sleaze bag

Having a Car Boot Sale.

He isn’t Selling Plants Pots and Pans or Stereo Equipment

He is Selling Tasers Guns and He even has a small Rocket

Launcher.

Plus a fine selection of Knives.

Sister Carmel is feeling like a Cat with Nine Lives.

 

For $75 She buys Herself a Pocket sized Smith & Wesson

Plus a free box of Ammunition.

She feels a whole lot safer walking the Streets with a Gun

Now She is a Pistol packing Soul destroying Nun.

 

An it is just as well.

Because on Her way back to the Church

She stops at a Convenience Store to buy some Milk and a Twinkie

As She walks the Aisles She Hears a commotion at the Store Front.

Maybe it is just a harmless little Fight.

Or a Kid with a Water Pistol having some Fun.

Well whoever it is should know better.

Because there is nothing more dangerous than a Pistol packing Nun

 

Obviously they don’t.

Because a Scream rings out from the front.

Sister Carmel rushes to the Shop Assistants Aid.

Where She is confronted by a Smackhead with a Rolling Pin

The Smackhead is in a rage and a Heart full of Sin.

 

She is either off Her Face.

Or She is looking for some Pastry to roll out.

Off Her Face is more likely.

So Sister Carmel proceeds with caution.

You can only take Smackheads in small portions

 

Sister Carmel arrives quietly and unannounced

With Her Smith % Wesson at the ready.

She feels like a Paratrooper drifting in unnoticed

Sister Carmel is ready for the fight.

This is turning into a very strange Night

 

She aims at the Rolling Pin

And Bullseye it flies from the Smackheads grasp

She turns around to see smoke coming from the Barrel of a Gun

Then She leaves empty handed straight out the Front Door

You want see that Smackhead around here no more.

 

Then Sister Carmel disappears into the Night.

She cant afford to get caught up in a Police Investigation.

No innocent bystanders were Hurt

And that is all that matters.

All She wants to do is get back to the Church

And say Prayer for all of the Drug Addicts in the World.

May They get help and become Drug free.

They just have to open their Eyes and See

 

Back at the Church Sister Carmel has changed back into

Her Nuns Habit.

She has her Duties to perform.

She to see if the Pews are nice and clean

That all of the Candles are lit in readiness for Midnight Mass

As She goes about Her Tasks.

She can feel the Weight of the Pistol in Her Pocket.

She hopes that none of the Congregation notice the bulge.

 

Mass went off without a Hitch

lot of Money was put into the Collection Plate.

And Father Ybanez seems to be Happy with the turn out.

All in all it has been a good Night

So Sister Carmel retires to Her Room for a Cup of Tea.

Peace and quiet in Her own company.

 

A short while later a Sound emanates from the Church

Bringing Her back from Her reverie

A quick glance at the Clock that it is 2am

Father Ybanez should have retired to His Room next door

So who is in the Church trying to be quiet?

This is turning into a not so silent night.

 

Sister Carmel enters the Church Vestibule

And She is confronted by Two Thieves Stealing the Candlelbra

and Artifacts

If only they knew that everything is non genuine

All of the original Gold and Silver was stolen Years ago.

Then Sister Carmel if brought down with a heavy blow

 

She is dragged into a corner and tied to a Chair.

But Her Hands are left untied.

She sits there watching the Two Thieves

As they fill their Duffel Bags with the Church Property

Then She reaches for Her trusty Smith % Wesson

She could Shoot them now and they wouldn’t know what

hit them

They have Her tied to a Chair

So why don’t these Two fools make good their escape?

Surly they aren’t Thinking Murder and Rape/

 

Then She has a second look

And She notices that the Two Thieves are wearing Rags for

Clothes.

And they are grimy and dirty

Like they haven’t washed in over a Year.

Sister Carmels Eyes shed a sad single Tear

 

Then She remembers that She is a Nun

She is on is Earth to serve God

And to help People in Need

So She starts to Talk and talk and talk and talk and talk

 

The Two Thieves Robert and Kelvin Jones are thinking

‘W should have brought along some Duct Tape and Ear

Muffs’

‘Will She ever Shut up?’

 

Robert and Kelvin are 25 and 23 respectively.

But they look at least 45

Years of Alcohol abuse and living on the Streets .

Has taken a heavy toll.

Now lets see if they still have a Soul?

 

Sister Carmel is still Talking

And Robert and Kelvin have stopped their thievery

And have started to listen

Sister Carmel is telling them about the Church’s Soup

Kitchen.

Where they can get a decent Meal

Then She tells them about a Hostel

Where they can Sleep in a warm Bed with clean Sheets

Have a Bath and wear some clean Clothes.

 

And to get off the Alcohol and Drugs

They will have to go to Rehab

‘W ill She ever stop Talking? Someone please call Me a Cab’

 

But all of Sister Carmels words have sunk in

Because Robert and Kelvin both now walk the righteous path

It is Six Months since they tried to Rob the Church

And in that time they have both become clean and Sober

 

They Live in a nice little Apartment

And hold down steady Jobs

All because of a Catholic Nun Named Carmel Parker

She has made Robert and Kelvins Lives  a lot brighter

and independent.

Full of hope love and contentment.

 

You don’t need a Gun or any Weapon to make a difference

Just provide a Shoulder to Cry on.

Say a few kind words or do a good gesture

That should do the trick

Just be a better Person.

Instead of  Fucking Dick.

 

 

 

Im Not Your Plover Now ( A Plove Story )

15 Sunday May 2016

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For My Foreign Readers.

A  Plover is a Ground Nesting Australian  Native Bird.

 

Bert and Maggie Plover have shared the same Nest.

For going on Eight Years now.

And every Year another Chick is Born.

Bert and Maggie do their best to Fledge Chick

In the best way that they could.

Those Chicks were the best raised Chicks

In the whole Plover Neighbourhood.

 

Bert and Maggie first met on the edge of the local Lake.

Where all the Plover Socialised.

At first they didn’t notice each other.

But when their Eyes met.

Their Hearts started to beat as One.

Their Feathers touched and interlocked.

It was Plove at first sight.

They looked at each other all starry Eyed.

And Romanced deep into the Night.

 

Plovers Nest on the Ground.

So they are always on the look out.

An Attack can come from anywhere.

Cats and Foxes are a constant menace.

Plover Eggs are a good source of Protein

 

If an Attacker gets to close.

Bert and Maggie will fake an Injury

To lure them away from the next of Kin.

Bert and Maggie try their best.

But sometimes You lose and sometimes You win.

 

A Broken Shell on the Ground can mean the lose of

a whole Generation.

So the luring away skills have to be top notch.

And Eight Years is Old in Dog Years.

And also in Plover Years.

Bert is getting Old and slow.

He really could use a Walker.

While Maggie is Younger and growing Impatient.

She is a bit of an acid Tongue Squawker.

 

Maggie suggests that they start to nest someplace safer.

Maybe up in a Tree?

But Bert is an Old Traditionalist.

He wants to keep Nesting on the Ground.

Where Plovers have Nested for Millions of Years.

But Maggie is persistent and insistent

They should Nest up Above.

Bert mutters under His Breath ‘We are Plovers not Doves’

 

But of course being Female Maggie gets Her way.

And they Nest way up in a Tree

But with no experience at Tree Nest building

The Eggs fall to the Ground Broken and Unfertilised.

Will Maggie keep up with the stupid suggestions

Or will She be wise?

 

They are supposed to be in this Union together

But Maggie has Bert by the Balls

And She isn’t letting go.

The Second Bert has a thought of His own

Maggie reaches into His Brain and rips it out

She is the Boss in the Relationship.

Of this there is no doubt.

 

Well Bert is Nobodies Patsy.

And even though Plovers are supposed to Mate for Life.

He finds Himself staying away from the Nest.

Which by the way is back on the Ground.

Where it should be.

 

Bert starts to go on long Solo Flights

Enjoying the Peace and quiet.

He is looking for something

But He is not sure what

But He will know when He finds it.

Course Life with Maggie at the moment

Is just a Bottomless Pit.

On One of His solo Flights

A Female Plovers Call catches His Ear

And even though He knows He should keep Flying

Bert starts looking for a Place to Land

He is tired of Flying Solo.

So He skids to a stop in the Sand.

 

The young Female Plover is Prancing around shaking Her

Tail Feathers

She has finally got Berts Attention

But when Bert gets closer

The Young Plover does a double Take

What She thought was a Young Dude.

Is nothing but an old feather duster

She just turns Her Back and says’ On Your Bike Buster’

 

Well Bert’s Ego has taken a hit

He knows that He isn’t a Young Plover anymore

But He isn’t an Old Boiler either

All He wants is a little Plove and understanding

Some Tenderness and a Shoulder to Cry on

Bert Flies away Singing a Sad lonely Song

 

Bert just Flies around and around.

He doesn’t know where to go.

But then He starts to think about Maggie

Remembering when They were Courting

Where Their Feathers would rub together

And their Beaks would touch

Bert starts to Cry.

It is all becoming too much

 

While Bert was reminiscing

Without knowing it

He is Flying closer and closer to Home

He Lands not knowing where He is

 

Amongst the Reeds He Sits and ponders

Where can He go Who can He turn to?

Bert doesn’t know if He Dreaming or not

But He can Hear Maggie’s Voice

Bert just stands there listening to the Words

From His Dearest Maggie.

The Prettiest of all the Birds.

 

‘Bert please come back I miss You with all of My Heart’

‘I cant bear it when We are not together’

‘I know I can be a bit overbearing and Bossy’

‘But I promise to be more understanding’

‘Instead of talking I will start to Listen’

‘Please come Home My One True Plove My One true Love’

‘You are My One and only Plover My One and only Lover’

 

Bert looks up and He can See Maggie sitting on the Nest

Only Twenty Feet away.

Bert wipes His Eyes and Walks towards Her.

And this time He is here to Stay.

 

The End.

 

 

Karen and Sharon (Siamese Twins)

31 Sunday Jan 2016

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Karen and Sharon McRubble

Were Born on the same day

But they don’t make a very good double

While Karen was quiet and slept through the night.

Sharon hardly slept at all

She can be a whole lot of trouble.

 

Karen and Sharon are Conjoined Siamese Twins.

And they are also identical.

While Karen knows that a quitter never wins.

Sharon will pull on Her Sisters Hair.

And call it accidental.

 

Karen and Sharon share all Body parts.

Except for a Head.

They both have one of those.

While Karen would think happy thoughts.

Sharon would just sit around picking Her Nose.

 

Going to School for the first time.

They caught a big Yellow Bus.

While Karen would sit there enjoying the view.

Sharon would scream and make a fuss.

 

Having a Siamese Twin can be fun at times.

It can also be a big pain in the Arse.

Karen and Sharon are like Lemons and Limes.

You know similar but not quite.

Their Teacher is in for a surprise when She starts

the first Class.

 

From the first Day Karen was a good Student.

She never had anything bad to say.

She was a very fast learner.

A Little Miss Prudent.

She paid close attention to the Teacher.

And Her thoughts never did stray.

 

Sharon on the other Hand

Couldn’t care less about learning Maths English

and Spelling.

She would just sit there day dreaming.

Completely ignoring the Other Students

She is a Loner there was no Gelling.

 

Karen liked the latest style of Dresses.

While Sharon preferred T Shirts Jeans and sensible

Shoes.

Karen wore Her Hair in long flowing Tresses.

While Sharon liked Military style Short back and Sides.

Which made living together hard.

Cause even though they had a separate Head.

They shared the same Body.

 

At Thirteen Puberty hit Sharon hard.

And even though they share a body

Karen hardly felt a thing.

While Sharon got bad Acne and a heavy Monthly flow.

Karen’s Period was mild.

And She had spot free Skin.

 

A couple of years later they both discovered Boys.

While Karen wanted to remain a Virgin until Her Wedding

Day.

Sharon wanted to discover Sex.

With all of the sensations and joys.

 

A couple of weeks later Sharon and a Boy met up in a

local Park.

Karen had no choice but to tag along for the ride.

She is thinking Jesus Sharon couldn’t you find a Room?’

Erin lost Her Virginity there in the dark.

Karen tried not to feel a thing.

She just wanted somewhere to hide.

 

Then it was Karens turn to go on a Date.

She sits waiting in a Café.

Her Beau is two hours late.

Sharon is in Her Ear wanting to go Home.

Karen loves Sharon.

But sometimes She is very hard to take.

But She doesn’t say anything in reply.

The waiting and the Coffee has left a very bitter taste.

 

But then out of the blue.

In walks a harried looking Fellow.

Not bad looking with short Brown Hair.

But His Teeth are crooked and a nasty shade of Yellow.

He doesn’t know where to look.

His Eyes are going everywhere.

 

But for Karen it is Love at first sight.

The Violins are playing.

The Angels are singing.

And the Café is bathed in a soft light.

Then Her Dates Mobile Phone is ringing.

 

Seems there is an Emergency.

And He has to go.

He tells Karen that his pet Duck has just died.

Karen tried to hold Her Head up high.

But still She cried.

 

It isn’t easy having Two Heads

But only one Body.

Two personalities stuck in the same Shell

Most of the time it is alright.

But it can also be a living Hell.

 

Over the next few Years Karen and Sharon just keep

each other company.

Even though they have a happy life.

They still want someone to Love.

And to be a Mother and a Wife.

 

They are at Home watching some TV

When an advertisement comes on .

It is about a Dating site.

They both listen to the slogan.

You don’t have to stay single Get out and mingle’.

 

So they turn on their Laptop and go to the site.

And they type out an ad.

‘Lonely Twenty something Siamese Twins’

‘Looking for friendship and maybe more’

 

Then they sit back and wait for the replies.

And they wait and wait.

Good job they aren’t holding their breaths

They both want to find Love before it is too late

Cause everyday they are one day closer to their Deaths

 

The waiting is frustrating

Surely there are a lot of eligble Bachelors out there’

Maybe they should post a Photo of themselves Butt Naked?

Or just in their Underwear.

But then again some things should remain sacred.

 

Then there is a Message  in their Inbox.

‘Male Siamese Twins looking for fun and adventure’

‘Reply with a Photo and your Hobbies and Interests’

‘And by the way can your Photo be Nude?’

Karen and Sharon have a Chuckle to themselves

‘Jesus how rude’

 

So they send off a Photo of themselves in their Birthday

Suits

Plus for a little bit of fun

They also wear Knee High Leather Boots

Who said that Siamese Twins cant be risqué and have a laugh

Plus the Boots were a bargain $80 on Ebay.

 

Both pair of Twins decide to meet in a Public place.

So they go to the Beach and have a Picnic.

Karen and Sharon cant keep the smiles from their Faces

Then the introductions are made.

Karen meet Eric Sharon meet Nick.

 

And for the next Six Months the Two Couples are insepartable

They go to the Movies Shopping and hanging out at Home.

They are like Four little Puppies playing with a Bone.

 

After dating for about a Year.

Eric and Nick both pop the question.

And of course Karen and Sharon both said YES.

They are doing something they never thought they would.

 

They are both walking down the Aisle.

Wearing a White Wedding Dress.